Test Subject

"Miss Mu, you seem very flustered. Are you not feeling well?" asked Tian Cai, after noticing she was trembling.

Mu Huizhong started looking about for a weapon.

I'll end myself, then that slut will never have him!!

Suddenly, Mu Huizhong felt a tiny hand in hers.

"Miss Mu, as my betrothed's sister, this Young Master will protect you with his life."

Looking down into Tian Cai's puppy dog eyes, Mu Huizhong blushed. Turning her head away, she tapped her heart consistently.

5 year old Master is so adorable. Master's holding my hand...am I dreaming?

"Miss Mu, your hand is unusually warm. Perhaps you have a fever? I see your complexion is somewhat red and you are sweating."

This?

"This is just a side effect. Huiqing greets Big Brother."

Tian Cai's eyebrows arched as he peered up.

Big Brother? No matter how I see it you're at least 20 years older than me.

"After reading Elder Sister's letter, Huiqing understands everything now."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Tian Cai began to withdraw his hand. However, Mu Huizhong actually tightened her grip.

"Holding your hand, greatly comforts Little Sister."

This?

Just then, Small and Gray Shadows walked in. Both froze in shock. Their little brother was holding another woman's hand?

Unaware of their arrival, Tian Cai asked, "How about some coffee? I'm sure you could use a perk me up."

"Little Sister understands," she said, reluctantly releasing his hand. Pulling out a travel sack, she brought out five bags of coffee beans. "Big Brother what's your preference this morning? With me I have two single origins, both light roasts. Then I have three blends called Morning Bliss, Super Yang and Dark Dreams."

Tian Cai's eyes glittered like two rising dawns. "Super Yang sounds super strong," he said.

Mu Huizhong nodded and said, "Indeed...should you choose this one, it's guaranteed to keep you going all day long."

Excitedly, Tian Cai said, "That one, I want that one!"

Pointing to the Shadows, Mu Huizhong asked, "Sister-in-law wonders who these guests might be?"

Small and Gray Shadow looked at each other.

Sister-in-law?

Clearing her throat, Gray Shadow said, "Little Brother, Alchemist Gu and Old Master are here to visit...they say you invited them."

"You two, meet Mu Huiqing, my Beauty's younger sister. Beauty has left on a mission and Yun Clan sent Mu Huiqing to watch things for awhile.

The siblings couldn't help but smile.

That clean freak was finally gone.

"Small Shadow, invite them in."

"Sister-in-law will dutifully send your Joe over when its ready," said Mu Huizhong.

"Sister, can you show Sister-in-law to my Beauty's chamber. She'll be staying there."

After a few breaths, Tian Cai was munching on a biscotti while his Grandfather and Alchemist Gu were sipping tea.

Taking out a clump of dried manure, he placed it before Alchemist Gu.

"Senior Gu, tomorrow, this Young Master will go settle Gu Jin's matters. Be assured, Gu Jin will return safely."

"Young Zhao, your magnanimity knows no bounds. You have greatly relieved this Old Man's heart. Please ask what you will from this Alchemist."

"Senior Gu, almost anyone will look at this pile of dung and say it's only manure. However, what you see before you is in fact Divine Miracle Dung."

Alchemist Gu spat out his tea. Unconsciously, he had already probed the mass with his fingers. Zhao Chen reacted by silently moving his chair closer to Tian Cai.

"What did you just say this was?"

Tian Cai cackled, "This Divine Miracle Dung is gold! Gold! Gold!"

"Alchemist Gu, might I suggest you utilize a wash basin. There's one in the chamber behind you," offered Zhao Chen. One might imagine, behind that mask, he was looking with disgust at Alchemist Gu.

Alchemist Gu's face turned green.

How did this happen to me?

After returning from washing his hands, Alchemist Gu sat the farthest point away from the dung.

Tian Cai was still chuckling from excitement. In the future everything was bright. He could imagine rows upon rows of coffee trees.

Clearing his throat, Alchemist Gu said, "Young Zhao, please continue."

"Mhm...This before you is in fact the remnants of a supreme flying Nether Hell King Beast. For some unknown reason, it has designated this manor as its preferred latrine. Grandfather here has er-er-er suffered greatly from its attacks. Recently, we discovered this dung has certain magical properties. Grandfather, if you can, please disrobe."

Gritting his teeth, Zhao Chen unmasked and bared his torso. Alchemist Gu gasped, "Senior Zhao, this!?"

"Unfortunately, Grandfather was simply in the wrong position at the wrong time. A large portion of that foul beast's innards directly fell on him. You should know, before the last few weeks, Grandfather was largely bald and appeared well into his golden years. Now, he's growing hair in places where he shouldn't," said Tian Cai.

Pointing to a tuft of hair coming out of an ear, he said, "It's so thick, you think his ear was actually an armpit."

He momentarily paused, before pointing to Zhao Chen's chest. "Notice how one side is a sagging man boob while the other looks firm like it did 3000 years ago. Senior Gu, may I ask what this evidence points too? Does it not mean this Divine Miracle Dung has anti-aging properties?"

Alchemist Gu's face was distorting visibly between laughing and horror as his eyes were still glued to Zhao Chen. "Young Zhao, give this Old Man a moment outside as he regains composure."

Zhao Chen's face blackened.

"Of course Senior Gu, take all the time you need."

Outside, loud chortling could be heard.

Small Shadow appeared with a piping hot cup of coffee.

"Little Brother, Senior Mu says this cup of Super Yang is for you."

"Mhm," responded Tian Cai, taking the cup.

"Little Brother, Senior Mu is really talented. Not only can she make coffee better than Fiance Mu, but she cooks better and even cleans better. In my eyes she's even more beautiful. In fact, Fiance Mu cannot compare."

"Understood," said Tian Cai who enjoyed a quick sip. "Woo Hoo! That's strong. Oh yeah blacker than black."

"Cai'er that drink, what-what is it?" asked Zhao Chen.

Placing the cup on the table, Tian Cai said, "Grandfather, this is Super Yang coffee."

About Tian Cai's body there was a soft fluctuation of light and he felt a surge of heat throughout. He took a deep look at the cup of coffee. Certainly it was a good blend, but why would it cause a slight enhancement in his sunlight innate body?

After the better part of an hour, Alchemist Gu had calmed down. Particularly helpful was Zhao Chen covering his face and body again. Somehow, Alchemist Gu's chair was now placed at a point simultaneously farthest from the dung and Zhao Chen.

"So in essence, you want me test to the properties of this..." said Alchemist Gu before Tian Cai interrupted him.

"The DMD...let's call it that. We will operate with the greatest secrecy. This project will be called... mmm...Project Big Net and Grandfather will be called The Fish."

"Big Net?"

"Cai'er, I'm The Fish?"

"These are just simple aliases to keep everything secret. In fact, it's important to keep me low profile. Therefore, for an alias I will use Zhao Ding. If anyone ever inquires who is the inventor or who is responsible, say Zhao Ding."

"Cai'er Grandfather understands. However, if they ask us his relation, what do we say?"

"We say he is from a distant branch in Second Heaven," replied Tian Cai.

"Young Zhao, you would have this Alchemist research the properties and then what?"

Tian Cai said, "Foremost is of course to establish a treatment plan for grandfather...we absolutely must restore his appearance. Secondly, our Zhao Clan's purpose is to develop two products. The first being a hair regrowth tonic and the second, an anti-aging tonic."

This?

"Young Zhao, this Alchemist understands the potential profits however, do you believe people would knowingly used tonics derived from the innards of a Nether Hell King Beast?"

Tian Cai smiled as he already had his answer prepared. "Why do we need to inform people the origins of the tonic? If we extract the essence of the dung and urine, mix it in with perfumes and oils, who would know? This beast is extremely unique, no other alchemist will be able to determine its origin."

Astonished, Alchemist Gu stood up smacking a palm on the table. "We'd own the market!!"

Tian Cai smirked. In Alchemist Gu's eyes he saw dollar signs.

"Alchemist Gu, in the farthest chamber, deep with the manor is a hidden room. There you will fine numerous samples for your research. It would be wise to invest in a nose mask and-and expendable robes. Later, Small Shadow will show you to a chamber that you may use for a lab. Grandfather, please cooperate with Alchemist Gu on any tests."

"Tests?"

Tian Cai smiled brightly.

Grandfather for the good of the clan, you're required to become a test subject.

Tian Cai chuckled, "As with any new product development, numerous tests are required."

"New Product development? Weren't we looking for Grandfather's cure?" asked Zhao Chen.

With a twitching eye, Tian Cai smiled and said, "Grandfather, it's all the same. There's absolutely nothing to be concerned about. Not only will you be cured, looking like a thousand years younger, our Zhao Clan will enjoy enormous profits."

Nodding, Zhao Chen said, "So it's like this."

Alchemist Gu gave a hard look at Tian Cai.

Did he just convince his grandfather to be my test subject?

After finishing his meeting, Tian Cai decided to pay a visit to Fei Hung.

Let's see if Little Brother has left his seclusion.

As he entered Fei Hung's courtyard in his mind, he sighed with relief. His first sight was Fei Hung, albeit a scholarly version of his brother. Floating about, the sphere of light actually wore a scholar's cap and glasses. Before him, Little Zilla actually was dressed in robes. Color wise, they appeared as the same color as Son Goku's uniform.*1

"Now that you learned pointers from the greatest warrior ever.....It's time Little Zilla, you need to show Master the power of your nuclear fire."

Nodding with determination, and cupping his claws to Fei Hung, he attempted a rather poor rendition of Son Goku's Kamehameha. In fact, barely a sputter of fire came out of his mouth.

"Arrgh, what on earth is he doing wrong?" exclaimed Fei Hung who trembled with frustration.

Little Zilla twiddled his fingers in embarrassment.

Clearing his throat, Tian Cai said, "Little Brother, Big Brother feels you have it wrong. Consider what is Little Zilla's nature. Is he not simply a beast? In this abode, he's like a pampered momma's boy. As a beast, Little Zilla's needs to face death and bring out his natural survival instincts. Observe."

Tian Cai strode out and stopped before Little Zilla. "Forgive me for being impolite." Tian Cai roared as he punched Little Zilla's torso.

Unfortunately, he wasn't rewarded with the intended result. In fact, Tian Cai's punch barely tickled Little Zilla who peered at Tian Cai with disdain.

Fei Hung chuckled.

"What's so funny?" asked Tian Cai.

Little Zilla is wondering if you are trying to give him a massage. He says you need to look for another line of work.

Tian Cai's face blackened.

Was the lizard mocking him?

"Big Brother don't feel so dejected. Fei Hung understands your teachings. However, what you punched was not Little Zilla's true form?"

"What-What do you mean?" The pit of Tian Cai's stomach stiffened. He had a really bad feeling.

"You think Little Brother would honor mighty Godzilla with a miniature version of himself. Humph, see Little Zilla's true glory. Little Zilla, RELEASE!!" yelled Fei Hung.

Little Zilla roared and to Tian Cai's shock, the little monster's form expanded exponentially. Before he realized it, Tian Cai barely appeared as a mouse before Little Zilla's toe.

A screeching roar erupted from Little Zilla, his cry sending torrents of vibrations in all directions.

Gobsmacked, Tian realized what happened.

He just tried to punch the king of all iron plates himself.

Fei Hung zoomed over to Tian Cai. "How is it? Is he not the God of all Monsters?" he cackled.

Tian Cai shot a look at his Little Brother.

Here, I thought Mom was having a good effect on you.

"Big Brother, you given Fei Hung some good ideas. I'll change his training program and attempt to bring out his natural instincts."

"Ah that, we'll its good that you are aware," said Tian Cai in attempt to retain some measure of his profound elder brother persona.

"Big Brother, now that you're here, let Fei Hung show you something."

Fei Hung yelled, "Little Zilla, TRANSFORM!"

Little Zilla roared as his body visibly shrunk to his normal size.

"Prepare tea, Big Brother and I will be spending some time in the library."

"The library?" asked Tian Cai with surprise.

"Big Brother, you think Fei Hung doesn't work? Mom's says I too must contribute to the Clan. Is not helping you not helping the Clan?"

"And?"

"Little Brother wants to show all the Martial Techniques he cataloged so far. From this, we can start raising our Clan members."

Excitement filled Tian Cai.

Finally!!

After spending hours in the Library with Fei Hung, Tian Cai returned to the outside world.

Immediately, he realized things weren't exactly normal.

Gray and Small Shadows were kneeling before Mu Huizhong, clearly against their will.

"Humph! Who was it? Who was responsible for the mopping the floor today?" asked Mu Huizhong.

Small Shadow elbowed Gray Shadow.

With laser eyes beaming down onto Gray Shadow, Mu Huizhong said, "So it was you? Clearly you don't know the first thing about mopping. Who uses dirty water to clean a floor? Huh!?"

Gray Shadow visibly trembled. Shooting a look at Small Shadow, she whispered, "You better watch your back."

Small Shadow stiffened.

"Who's responsible for sweeping the courtyard? This Mu wants to know. Earlier she found two leaves not properly picked up."

Both siblings appeared extremely dejected. Hadn't they just escaped Mu Clean Freak. Now there was another?

"Sister-in-law, what's this? Did they make an error?" gently asked Tian Cai.

Mu Huizhong's temperament immediately changed a 180. Demurely, she said, "Noble Brother-in-law, you're here. Nothing to see...everything's fine." Looking down at the two siblings, she asked through gritted teeth, "Am I not right?"

Gray Shadow said, "Senior Mu is the epitome of beauty. Just now, she was gracing us with her wisdom on cleaning floors."

Small Shadow quickly chimed in as well. "Her teachings are so profound, the things this one learns today will be passed on to all my descendants."

Nodding with understanding, Tian Cai said, "So it's like that." After mulling a bit, he said, "Sister-in-law, it's training time. You two let's go the forbidden area."

Both Small and Gray Shadow eyes moistened.

Little Brother is our savior!!

"Mhm!"

"Mhm!!"

The two appeared very eager to for training.

Mu Huizhong glared down at the two with inverted eyebrows. "You two better not disappoint Brother-in-law. When you return, this seat will have you detail well how much progress you made. The better your cultivation and skill...the better you can protect him."

"Small Shadow, ask Uncle to meet me in the forbidden area," said Tian Cai.

Small Shadow scrambled up. "Senior as you can see, junior has a task to do. Be assured, later I will train doubly hard."

Tian Cai impatiently looked to Gray Shadow. "Well, are you accompanying me or not?"

Similarly, Gray Shadow jumped to her feet. "Senior Mu, compared to my brother, this one will train quadruple times hard."

As Gray Shadow was about to leave, Mu Huizhong whispered, "Don't forget to put in a good word for me. Make sure he sees only me and not my slut older sister."

Gray Shadows eyes twitched as she smiled. "But of course Senior. Unlike my brother, Gray Shadow is your most loyal fan."

Turning about she shot a look to Tian Cai's back.

Little Brother, thank you for saving me from this psycho.