Regrets of the Past

As I look at him, tears have been flowing in my eyes….

I miss my dad so much, and this man in front me reminds me of my late father. I could not hold it any longer, I can hear myself wheezing, oh no not this again I thought, then suddenly I could not breath and saw nothing but darkness.

When I opened my eyes, I already knew I am in the hospital. I scanned my surroundings and found Aunt Nozomi by my side, with a teary eye I can see she felt relieved when I regained consciousness. "My dear child, thank God you're now awake. Are you feeling better?" I smiled at her and asked, "What happened, and where are they?"

"Ohhh, just rest a while Lala. What do you want? I think you must be starving. Oh, by the way you've been unconscious for like 8 hours, I've already asked Kay-kay to take care of your work", then she looked at me with concern. I can see that she is anxious, and that look made me worried "Is there a problem with me auntie?"

"Nothing's wrong with you, you just had another panic attack. I am just worried about you. What will happen to you when you see your grandpa? What if…."

"Auntie, relax, it's just a panic attack. I am fine, it's just that unexpected. I saw father in him, and I can't help but miss him but then I know, he's not with me anymore…" I am such a weak person, I have been trying so hard not to cry, but I really am vulnerable in front of the persons who knows mw best. Like Auntie and Uncle, they are like my second parents, they have known me since I am young. They have always been worried about me, especially when I left home, they have always been visiting me and observing me from a far.

She was silent for a moment then sighed, I smiled at her while wiping my tears "You're still a cry baby. Do not cry okay? Your Papa is now in a good place and we know that both are looking after you from above. And do not forget us, here, with you." She then holds my hand and smiled, "We will always be here for you, wherever you go, this time around, we'll follow you." When she said those, I cried more.

"hmmm… Lala, stop crying now, you might faint again." She worriedly said while getting some water. "Here drink this, it will make you feel better and after that I'll give you food, I'll go ask your uncle to get some soup." She was about to leave when I said, "You don't have to. I will eat whatever food is in there. Auntie, why did I sleep so long, I should be fine after an hour after fainting." Looking at her, I can see she's hesitant in telling me the details, I looked at here intently and she sighed, "Alright, Mr. Cohen asked the doctor to give you some sleeping pills, so that you'll have a good rest and he said you need to gain enough strength to face your grandfather."

When she said those, I was speechless, why did this man decide on his own, I am not her family or so. As I was spacing out, Auntie Nozomi laughed, it made me look at her while peeling the fruits at the table. "Am I funny Auntie, or did I do something funny?".

"ohh… Nothing, you are just so adorable right now, it seems that this Mr. Cohen holds a special place in your heart…. "

"Auntie, hold it right there…" She stopped talking and looked at me curiously and asked "What? Why"

I laughed at her, sometimes I feel she's Kay-kay for asking that "Don't ask what and why, it seems Kay-kay had a great influence in you, you two are seeing each other without me knowing? Hmmm?" I asked while looking at her intently. This time around, my aunt can't hold her laughter any longer, she burst out laughing loudly while saying "Yes, we do see each other behind your back, because if you knew, you might throw a tantrum you know. And besides, I urge her to see me, so that I can have update about you… Now, Lala that will not be the case anymore okay? Please see us often, hmm... my beautiful child."

When she said those, I nodded "Auntie, I will not leave you and uncle behind this time, you are my only family left…" She walked beside me "Here eat some fruits and this one is your favorite chicken."

Seeing the simple food she prepared made my tummy growl, I blushed and thanked her, she laughed "Silly child, what's there to hide, don't be so shy, it's just be here… ohh, by the way Lala, so this Cohen guy is your fiancé?" I coughed so hard when I heard her question "No, who told you that (cough)"

"Looks like there somethings going on with the two of you" saying that while laughing and shaking her hear. I am astonished at her actions, which made me think, what made her think we have something going on. I looked at my aunt intently and raise my brow "What made you think auntie? Did something happen?" Her looking at me as if scanning me thoroughly made me really think, something happened, and I don't know about it.

Suddenly she smiled and said "I just remembered, he's the man who brought you home when you fainted during your fathers funeral and now he is here with your grandpa, I just assume things. But I can feel some love …"

"Wait Auntie, there is no love, we barely know each other and why did you think of that all of a sudden?" I was out of breath when I said that in one go, which made her laugh so hard. "Silly child, you make me feel young, hahaha… how can you be so defensive, it makes me think there is something going on, and I wander, how did he capture that heart of yours?" When she said those, it made me realized, maybe my actions made me look somethings on.

Exactly, why did I miss him for such a few encounters, is this love, why would I love him in that span of a moment, all sorts of what ifs were running into my mind. I was unable to eat properly as the chicken in my hand fall on the tray. Suddenly the door opened, and that handsome man showed up, him wearing so casual shows how sex he is. I can see his tone chest, why on earth does this man unbutton some of his shirt. Oh my, I guess I'm attracted to his body, and this is not love.

My mind was still out there, my eyes scanning him through, suddenly I felt someone wiped my mouth while saying "Stop staring at me that much, you're drooling." When I heard him, I came back to my senses and slap his hand away as I covered my cheeks, I can feel them heating up. He is still laughing while saying, "I hope you didn't mind what I've done, I made you sleep for 8 hours, so that you can rest and will have the energy to speak with your old man." When he said those, I felt nervous again, but tried my best to hide it.

I smiled and said "I'm not ready, I don't want to know his regrets… "