The Journey Begins

    "Oh this guy?" Susan asked. "I found him in the hallway and he was selling tacos! It has been so long since I've had a taco.  Why he is in a military base hallway, I couldn't tell ya, but hey tacos!"

    "Oh I can explain that." Sighed General Douglas. "It is another one of the president's initiatives. He thought having fast food venders in all government facilities would boost moral or something. I personally believe he did it so that whenever he visits he can have fast food." General Douglas turns to the figure. "This man right here is Greg."

  "But why is he orange?" Astros asked. "Is that a color you mortals come in now?"

  "There was a sell on spray tan." Greg said. "I have many regrets." Greg looked around the room. "Does anyone here want a taco?"

    "Sure, orange one. I shall partake in this taco you speak of." Astros turned to Jim and whispered "What's a taco?" He asked

    "They're good, but you need to use extra hot sauce for the full flavor." Jim told Astros.

    "Ok, tiny orange mortal, give me one taco with extra hot sauce." Astros said proudly.

    "Ok" Greg felt insulted by Astros's comments and decided he would take revenge. He pulled his special reserve hot sauce out, made from Carolina Reapers which have over two million scoville units.  He then liberley applied the sauce to Astros' taco. "Here you are sir. I hope you enjoy it."

    Astros then took a huge bite out of the taco and swallowed it. "Hmm, not bad for a mortal." Astros' face began to look a bit distressed. "Orange one I require a drink!"

    "Oh sure." Greg was amused at how well his prank was going. "Let me get you one." Greg slowly searched his cart for a drink.

   "Could you please be quicker mortal, my mouth feels like the time I gave the god of fire a blow job." Astros was beginning to sweat. "Like pure fire is inside of me."

    "Here you are sir." Greg hands Astros a water.

   "Thank you!" Astros grabs the water and chugs it down without a second to spare. "Whew much better, still a raging fire, but nothing I cannot handle." Astros turns to Jim. "You are right these tacos are pretty good. Who knew mortals had such interesting food."

    "Anyway back to the matter at hand." The General interrupted. "What is it that brings a couple of gods, and a Susan, to our military base?"

    "Well sir, they claim they are here to help, I don't really believe them, but at the same time we really need the help." Frank interjected.

    "We sure could." The General continues, "If you gods have a way of stopping this zombie apocalypse and restoring America to her former glory, I would love to hear it."

    "Mortal, we are gods." Astros starts. "Gods do not answer to mortals, and you would be wise to remember that.  If we so choose to help you, our help will not be free." Astros stares the General in the eyes. "Can you afford the help of the gods?"

    Jim just looked on as Astros took control, this was the first time Astros was actually helpful.  "Of course what would mortals like yourselves even have to offer gods such as us?" Jim decided to play along and see where it went.  He never dreamed being a god would be so much fun.

     The General and all the officers went silent, they had no idea what they could offer a god.  Most of them were still flabbergasted by the presence of gods and the Sister was still uncoinious.

     Susan decided to speak up. "Look what their trying say is, why would they help anyone that they care nothing about." Susan turns to the General. "If you want them to help you, you need to become their followers."  Even Susan was playing along at this point. 

    "Look here, even if you are gods, we swore an oath to the constitution, to up hold America and defend her from all threats." The General began to regain his voice.  "If we pledged ourselves to you, how would we still honor our country?"

    Astros thought for just a moment and responded. "Mortal, in an immortal life we see everything, we have seen the rise and fall of countless civilizations.  Hell I even watched the dinosaurs come into existence and go extinct. Your oath to your country is nothing compared to the life of a god. Place your oath with us and we shall carry it into eternity."

    The General thought for a bit and turned to his officers. "Men, I don't know what to do here. On the one hand we can side with this gods and live in a new world. On the other hand we can keep doing what we are doing and try to defend what's left of the old world." The General's expression gets even more serious. "What say you, yea for following these gods or nay for continuing our resistance."

     What followed was a loud shout of "Yea."

     "Thank you." Said Jim.

     The General then turned to Jim and gave him a salute. "Sir, you have command."

     "So let me ask this." Jim started. "Do you represent the entire military or just a faction?"

     "Sir, we are but a faction, if you want the entire military's assistance you are going to have to either go to them all or become the president." The General answered. "Our congress was mostly lost and only the president survived in the executive branch."

    "President Jim, I kind of like the sound of that." Jim smiled. "How do I become the president?"

    "Well since the apocalypse the laws have changed giving the president unilateral power." Douglas responded. "The current president would need to be removed from office and then an election would need to take place."

    "Hmm, well that is troublesome, how would we remove him from office?" Jim asked.

    "Force is likely the only option sir!" Douglas responded. "After the apocalypse he has made himself a dictator.  I don't really see any other way."

     "I would rather not cause a war among you mortals." Jim responded. "I shall go talk with him instead. Where can I find him?"

     "Ah well he stays on the west coast now, because it is safer away from the zombies." The General answered. "You can normally find him at his LA golf course."

     "LA is quite a distance from here." Jim responded. "I don't see any other way though. Becoming president would be the easiest way to unite the mortals under me."

      "Is there a reason you want us mortals to follow you?" Frank asked.

      "Let me just say that I have come to save you from yourselves." Jim answered.

     "Makes sense to me." Frank responded.

     Jim looked around the room. "I don't want to leave you all defenseless against the hordes while I'm gone so allow me to help you out." Jim waved his hand across everyone in the room.  Their clothes changed to that of golden armor engraved with runes. On each of their hips their sidearm was replaces by a runed golden blade. "I have now given you the means to defend yourself against the hordes.  Each of those swords when swung will create a holy energy blast capable of anililating any undead it comes in contact with. You should be able to wipe out thousands in a single swing."

    "Thank you, my lord." General Douglas couldn't believe what was going on.

    "The armor I just gave you all, will protect you from any undead attack.  You could be completely surrounded and the hordes would be unable to touch you.  The armor will also boost your stamina so that you can fight for extended periods without getting tired.  You are now my soldiers, in my army. Serve your god well." Jim, Susan, and Astros then leave the room continuing on their adventure to the next city.

     "Well when the Sister wakes up she is going to be quite surprised." Frank said with a smile admiring his new look.

     "Men with this equipment we can turn the tide of battle and retake our lands that were lost.  Our new lord has given us the power, we only need to use it." The General clears his throat. "For Jim!"

      Meanwhile back with Jim and company, they are discussing what just happened and what they need to do next.  Susan starts "So that went well."

     "Yes it did." Jim answered. "Thank you Astros, that approach of yours really seemed to work."

     "What approach?" Astros asked.

     "You know the whole we are your new overlords?" Jim responded, confused by Astros' question.

     "I don't know what you mean, That's how I always talk to mortals." Astros responded.

    "Oh well it still worked out. So I am happy." Jim said.

    "Of course it worked out.  Mortals cannot help themselves but to serve us gods.  It is in their very being to be our servants." Astros responded.

    "I have no desire to serve you." Susan responded.

    "Well you are more fairy than mortal.  Fairies do what they please. It is extremely taxing." Astros responded.

    Susan gives him the bird. "Hey Astros, earlier you said the heavens weep at your beauty."

   "Ya so, what of it? I am so beautiful that the clouds themselves shed tears of joy in my presence from time to time." Astros responded.

    "That's just rain." Susan responded. "Has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with what we call the water cycle."

   "Enough picking on each other, we still have a mission to do." Jim said as he raised his arm. The holy chariot was called to their location.  "Lets stop by a few cities on the way to California and build up a following." Jim checks his phone. "Yep appears like we have service again, so lets spread on the internet and win the election before it even starts."