change

I have always been selfish.

I always put myself first, I want to be better than the others while also wanting to just hide away.

I don't want them to know my name or remember my face, I want to just exist. just move with the wind and forget about everything.

I don't want to change the world, I don't want to make a difference, all I want is to one day wake up and stop hating myself.

I want to stop feeling bad for the way I am, I want to stop hurting, I want to stop feeling like I need to keep on fixing myself so that people would like me. 

I want to pause everything, and feel nothing.

I want to stop breaking more when I keep trying to fix this mess of a person I am.

I just want it all to stop.