Matter of Self 3

'Katsumi…Kaede…'

She pulled back her hand holding in close to her chest, but then saw her brother appear to her.

'…Yori…'

Yumi retreated lowering her hand to her store uniform and an image of Yuki carrying her appeared.

'…Yuki! I-I-I…'

Yumi jumped back being surrounded back by all of her fears regardless of what she did. She could not escape any of it no matter where she went. There was nothing that would hide her or make her free from her cage.

"How can I…"

She kept backing away not want go anywhere near it, but knowing that she could not escape it. It was stuck to her even if she was not wearing them.

The hallway held Yuki leaning against it until the door opened. Yumi walked out in her school uniform with her bag on her back and her store uniform folded up in her arms held tightly to her.

"I'm ready!"

He gave her a nod and pushed off from the wall starting to walk in front of her through the hallway. 'Is he going to come with me all the way?'

There was a little paperwork for Yumi to fill out as she departed, but since there was nothing wrong with her it was minimal. She thanked the doctor for his help and exited the clinic with Yuki. They walked side-by-side down the sidewalk with little being said between them (awkward silence actually). The void remained until they began to enter the residential neighborhood.

"Umm…" Yumi said quietly wishing that she had not even uttered a sound afterwards.

"Is something wrong? If there's something you're stressed about I can listen. It might relieve it."

Yuki was feeling a little lost walking next to Yumi the entire time. He had insisted on following along with her to know that she got back safely without an incident, but he barely knew her. It was not like Saki who would talk for him.

He was feeling unease, but realized that he was not wondering in his mind or having to control his thoughts for some reason. He almost wished that he had something to focus on.

'What am I doing?'

"Wha—"

Yumi turned to look at Yuki and then away realizing her mistake.

'What am I doing? Why did I say anything?'

She could feel the gnawing pain at her heart that was poisoning her body making it difficult to breathe. It continued to rake at her consciousness knowing that she was uncertain. 'What should I do now?' The silence dragged out between them creating the void once more until Yumi could not take the weight anymore.

"…Yuki…I…"

"Yes?"

"Uh…Have you ever had someone important to you tell you something, but you didn't want to do it?"

"Huh?" Yuki said looking over at Yumi not quite sure where the question was coming from.

He thought about it casually for a moment running out an answer to her.

"Yeah, my parents always told me to clean my room and I would get into fights with them over it."

Yuki looked closer at Yumi seeing a disappointed look in her eye making him suddenly realize his mistake.

"W-Well I mean… I guess that was of a given huh? Parents are sort of meant to do that."

His voice trailed off and then his eyes widened in shock when he heard a familiar echo in the back of his mind.

'Yuki…promise me…'

'…mother…'

Yuki snapped out of his trance remembering Yumi next to him as he tripped in his step.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. It was a silly question anyway."

Yumi started to walk ahead of Yuki feeling embarrassed that she brought it up in front of Yuki.

"Yes!" Yuki said grabbing out to Yumi making her stop as he held her wrist. She turned her head over her shoulder to him in surprise.

"I mean… I have had someone important to me tell me…"

Yumi could see the seriousness in Yuki's eyes as he was taking her question and answering with a genuine answer that could relate to her. She was not certain what she was seeing from him in that moment, but it felt like she could feel the conflict boiling off of him as he was tormented by the answer he gave her. It felt familiar to her.

"What did you do?"

Yuki turned away from a moment trying to push back his memories to where they belonged for him. There were too many things that were clawing at him to be released and this was not the time for him to be recalling them.

"I listened to them and did what they asked."

"I see…"

The tortured conflict in Yumi's eyes reached to Yuki and he could tell that it was something that she did not want to hear.

"You have to decide for yourself though. I made my decision and I'm living with it. However, it was something that I decided and no one else. Even if they tell you do something that goes against your nature, if it is important to you that you don't want to lose it then you should stand up and fight to keep it. Because in the end, if they are important to you they will understand. You have to follow yourself if you want to be happy. You'll never be wrong if you do that."

"…Yuki… I…"

Yumi tilted her head down staring at the ground for a moment as she thought through what Yuki told her. Even though she had felt conflict in him, she could also see that he was happy with what he decided. She looked back up at him smiling.

"Thank you, Yuki!"

He nodded back to her and they were able to continue on their walk back to her house. She left him at the gate walking the few steps to their door. When she walked in she could see her brother's shoes already placed against the short drop in the floor.

'…Yori…'

Yumi left her shoes at the entrance and walked into the house looking for him.

"Welcome home," Yori said from the kitchen.

"Was that Yuki with you?"

He kept his focus on the pot in front of him as Yumi entered.

"Yes brother. I've decided. You may not trust him, but I do. I'm going to show to you that you can trust him too! I'm sorry, but that's how I feel."

She closed her eyes lowering her head a little to him as she stood near him.

"Very well. I will respect your decision."

He gently smiled turned away from Yumi watching the food cooking.

"Perhaps you will."

"Thank you!"

Yuki walked back to his house in the darkening sky. His mind was elsewhere as he wondered through the street.

'…I hope that helped her. But I've still got problems of my own that I have to deal with. She made me realize I can't run from my problems. Saki…'