Ciao! I'm Back! That too real soon eh? Yup I know I just missed you guys so much that I wanted to talk a bit more. And I have many stories to share with you guys luckily because my life is a real rollercoaster trust me, its pretty boring at times but I have such experiences that I'm sure people can learn from them.
Now the title Relationships don't just mean affairs or a love relation between two significant others. No No No, here what I'm gonna talk about is family, friends, enemies, sexual relations, etc. because just boyfriend girlfriend talk is for babies now lets be honest.
Hmmm what should we start with? Oh I hear a background noise asking for my relation with my sweet mother due to the previous chapter. Well Okay Then, this is gonna be a looooong chapter now, or perhaps I would need to make some separate chapters for my delightful mother because honestly I will not be able to finish it soon as I have many graceful stories regarding my precious mother.
So buckle up readers, cuz this will be extremely bumpy-
Knock Knock
"PUSH HARDER WOMAN LEMME COME OUT, I'M DYING IN HERE ALREADY!, Oh never mind you got a C section, nice, crying face now, get ready bitches" , little me jeered as she bolted out of 21 year old mommy.
"Are you happy? I'm finally here I'm here Mummy, Why are you sad? Why do you look angry? Do you not like me? But I'm a perfectly healthy and normal girl Mummy. Oh...", sputtered my new born self to myself.
That's where it started. I was born a girl. They wanted a boy. I was not just an accident but also a mistake. But its fine , I will make them love baby me, I will... I will try my best..... I really will.
I was 5 when my mother burned my hand for the first time. Because I said a bad word. No slaps, no yelling, nothing but just 2 burns straight on my left hand. I was with my maternal grandparents and yet they did not stop her because as a girl who said something bad, I deserved it. My cousin brother (my age) who said the same thing was given black pepper powder in his mouth and given water straight after, on the other hand I was told stuff like,
"You will not say that word ever again, You get that? You're a girl, girls don't say bad words"
"Now this will teach you not to say that ever again"
Wanna know what I said by the way? I called my cousin brother a dog because he called me a slut. And yet It was my fault. Why you Ask? Because I am a girl.
I was 8 years old when My baby brother was born and that was the year my mother started loathing me more than ever. She completely forgot I existed the moment he came to being. Now I love my brother a lot, but it does seem a bit painful as my brother came out to be extremely pampered and the loved sweetheart child while I am the the brat of the entire family.
I started my school at 8, while being in the care of my paternal grandmother, who took care of me, my mother, my brother, and my paralyzed grandfather. Yet my mother made it seem that my grandmother was a completely dreadful woman who hated us and wanted to harm us and she used me as a scapegoat in her devious and evil ways of taking her hatred on them through me.
For example, she used to make me run to my paralyzed grandfathers room and make me increase the speed of the fan which he did not like as he, as an ill 74 year old, felt cold even on the warmest of days. My mother used to snicker as he used to shout and even though I felt horrible at doing that, at hurting someone who cannot even walk or get up on their own, she used to console me and say
"They deserve it Kiwi"
Example Number 2: She used to bitch about my ex father's (yes ex father, now that's for chapter number 3 of relationships) family and tell me stuff like,
"Your grandmother is hiding so much from you, go and check her closet and look out for some money that is lying there, she also has some jewellery, get it to me if you find it"
And I did.
My grandmother caught me and screeched out and called me a thief and snatched her necklace that I had in my hand and started tearing up.
I, as a 9 year old, was broken when I heard my grandmother calling me a thief and see her tearing up.
My mother, on the other hand, was rejoicing in the brand new news she received of my grandmothers closet. She just sat in her room and giggled with my young baby brother sleeping on the side.
During my school years till I was 8 to 10, I never once saw my mother bid me goodbye when I left for school or greet me when I returned from school. She was always locked up in her room for the entire day, and left her room at 6 pm in the evening. Until then I used to be out, playing with my friends. Which meant I only saw her during dinner for 2 straight years and that's it.
However at times, I would hear immense shouting coming from her room, which always used to scare me so I used to hide in my grandparents bathroom. Because if she ever came out her room in a foul mood, she would take all her frustration out on me or my grandmother. Mostly me as I was a weak kid who bore her beatings.
If she was in an extremely unpleasant temper, she would use anything that was in her hand to abuse me with. I have been beaten with a tennis racket, leather belts, water bottles, metal rods, heels, been burnt with irons, rolling pins, metal utensils, etc. so many that I actually lost count.
And this is just the beginning of her abuse that I have suffered through the years, which I will continue in the next chapters, but for now lets make a moral of this story.
Do Not Get Manipulated Ever. Even if its your closet relatives, please never get manipulated if you feel something is not right. Relations do matter yes but nothing is more important than your principles and being. If you feel something is not right, do not get manipulated to carry that action out. People will keep using us as scapegoats always, and we need to learn from it and not be a pushover.
Learn to say No, be it your family, your best friends or your significant other.
Until next time my lovelies, I will be back soon as I have many more stories to share with you!
P.S. Kiwi Is Me hehe.