Fragmented Reality

"No matter what I do, what amends I make, I can't escape it."

The statement echoed in her mind, as the last Gaara took his place in the cage, beside his counterparts.

They stood, a living replica of his progression from frightened child, to monster, to man.

Each stage valuable, each important in his story.

Rin grasped her hand to her chest, trying to take in what his mind what showing her.

A giant cage, clearly not designed for anything of this world and the three facets of his life contained within. What was she missing?

"If this is where you began, why are you still here?"

The three spoke in unison. "Which one of us are you talking to?"

He was able to split his consciousness into three separate entities? Fascinating.

A small part of Rin begged to let herself geek out over the discovery of a being with such mental capabilities, but she stilled. "All right, we'll try it this way."

She cleared her throat, feeling as if she were in some kind of fairytale riddle. "To the Child; take a look around you. How does the cage make you feel?"

He glanced around the vast space, his eyes taking in the bars that were bigger than him. "Confused."

"Okay. To the monster: same question."

He snarled. "I don't have to tell you anything."

The Adult glared. "Be respectful. You will speak when spoken to."

He bared his teeth. "But she didn't speak to me. That's not who I am here."

Rin considered those words. If he didn't represent the monster inside of him, who was he?

It was hard to see past the disfigurement of change before her; the snarling teeth, the low growl, the challenging look of authority in his eyes...

The thought dawned on her like a flash of lighting. "Of course, you're right. You aren't his monster at all, are you? Not his real monster, that is. I know who you are."

She dug in her heels, unwilling to budge from her stance. "You're his adolescence, aren't you? You're taking on the form of a monster because that's how it feels."

He didn't say anything and she smiled, feeling very pleased with herself. "Sulking and not answering my obviously correct prediction? Sounds like an adolescent if I've ever seen one."

The mutated face looked away from her. "You feel clever, don't you?"

"A bit."

She glanced around the cage. "To the Adolescent: how does this cage make you feel?"

He crossed his arms, one much larger than the other. "Indifferent."

Interesting answer.

Her eyes drifted to the final being, the Adult face she'd come to know so well.

Her voice softened. "To the Adult: how does this cage make you feel?"

He turned around, so he could stare into the vastness behind him and remained quiet.

Rin wondered if he were going to answer her question, when his voice came out so soft, she nearly missed it. "Lonely."

She focused on the word. Lonely? Why would the empty cage feel lonely?

Her feet started to move, pacing back and forth, as she often did when she was on the verge of a breakthrough.

The cage made the Child feel confused; the Adolescent, indifferent and the Adult, lonely. What did it mean?

Rin's hand came to her chin and she nibbled on her thumbnail, while she pondered.

Confused, indifferent, lonely. Confused, indifferent, lonely. Confuse...

Her eyes turned to the Child, who was watching her pace.

The idea suddenly came to her and she bent down to kneel in front of him. "Gaara, was there something in this cage when you were a child?"

"Yes."

"And how did that thing make you feel?"

The Child waved her closer, so he could whisper in her ear. "Afraid."

She nodded and pulled back. "So, you were afraid as a child, but you're confused right now?"

"Yes."

Her knees popped, as she came to standing height and walked to the mutated teenager.

He snarled at her approach and she rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, I know you don't like me. Not relevant right now. Listen; was there something in this cage when you were an adolescent?"

His one good eye studied her face. "Yes."

"And what did that thing make YOU feel?"

A low growl came from deep within, his rancid breath choking the air around her. "Angry."

Her breathing picked up, excitement filling her lungs, despite the rotting smell. "So, you were angry as the Adolescent to the thing in the cage, but you're indifferent, now?"

"I guess."

Her feet nearly skipped, as she came to the last stage; the adult who was still looking into the empty cage. "Adult: is there something in this cage for you?"

He waited for a moment, as if processing what she asked. "No."

Rin gripped her hands to her heart, trying to hold in her anticipation. "And how... does that make you feel?"

A single tear came down his face. "Lonely."

She wanted to jump for joy, throw her hand into the air, maybe even give a "Yes!" for her work, but the look on his face kept her feet on the ground.

Instead, Rin laced her hand with Gaara's, her other raising up to his cheek, brushing away the solitary tear that lingered there.

She turned his face to look at her. "I figured it out, Gaara. I know why you can't sleep. Why there's a noise that keeps you awake all night."

He studied her. "What's the noise?"

She brought his forehead down to rest against hers. "Silence."

"I don't understand."

Now it was her turn to want to cry. "You miss Shukaku."

Gaara pulled away from her, nearly tripping backwards as he did. "That's not right. It can't be."

Rin nodded. "It is."

"No. That's not true. I don't miss him...it. I don't miss it. That's crazy."

"You do."

Now it was Gaara's turn to pace. "Why would I miss the monster that tortured and kept me from living a normal life? I could have had so much. A family that loved me, a village that accepted me as the honored Kazekage's son. I could have laughed and played and learned and..."

His eyes turned to her. "Loved. I could have done all those things, but Shukaku kept me from them. Why, Rin? Why do you think I miss the monster inside of me?"

She caught his hands and held him steady, her voice calm. "Because he was always there. You've felt alone your entire life, kept away from everyone because of your curse, when in reality, you've never been alone. Not once. Shukaku was with you always. You miss having another presence with you."

"Yes, but, it's wrong. I'm wrong to miss him. Why would I miss my tormentor? I'm broken. I'm wrong. I'm sick. I'm..."

Rin shushed him, her hands trailing up to hold his face. "No, Gaara. No."

His eyes searched hers, tears spilling down his face.

She pulled him close, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck, her voice a steady whisper. "It's not wrong to miss what you always knew. It doesn't make you broken or sick, it makes you human."

"But I..."

"Shukaku may have been your darkness, but that doesn't make him your future. You don't have to leave your memories of him behind. It's okay to acknowledge your past. It's all right to not be fully healed from it."

"But the village..."

Rin shook her head and pulled back, so she could see his face.

She brushed away the flow of tears and turned his chin to look her in the eyes. "The village will be what it will be. You are their Kazekage; body, mind and soul. Part of that soul was fused with the One-Tail and part of it always will be, for as long as you wish it. Acknowledge you who are and where you came from, and you will stand stronger, surer of yourself. Know that you are whole, even if he's not there anymore. You are Gaara of the Sand and no one will take that from you."

She stood on her tip toes to kiss his cheek, her voice a whisper. "Not even you."

He focused on what she was saying, his mind fluctuating around them in waves.

The jutsu was nearly complete.

Rin turned in time to see the Child come to Gaara and hug his waist. "I'm ready to go now."

"Yes?"

The Child nodded and looked to Rin. "Stay close to us, okay?"

"I will."

The Adolescent brushed past her without a word.

His mutated frame came behind the Adult and sneered in her direction.

Rin maintained his glare, but cracked a smile, when he said. "You're all right, I guess."

"Not so sure about you, still."

"That's fair."

The Adolescent rested his head on Gaara's back, while the Child gripped tighter to his waist.

In a flash of light, they melted together into one soul; broken pieces finally made whole.

The now complete man looked to her with an expression she'd never seen on his face before. Something that was entirely human and perfectly one.

He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into his embrace. "Thank you, Rin. Thank you."

"Gaara."

As easily as she slipped into his mind, she slipped back out of it.

Rin's eyes opened to the patched ceiling of the Oasis, studying its grooves.

The crickets still chirped outside, quieter than before. She could feel the dawn coming, but the world remained dark around them.

The candles nearly burned to the middle, casting small shadows across the silent room. She inhaled the scent of her jasmine incense, which lingered on the warm breeze.

Everything was quiet.

Rin looked down at the figure still curled around her, head pressed gently to her chest. She noticed his closed eyes, listened to his even breathing and smiled, as she kissed his brow, treasuring the way it rested above her heart.

"Goodnight Gaara."