Chapter 8: Deals and Complications

"Are you implying that the Fire Nation's tradition to send the children who are not predestined for other professions to the army lessens the communal feeling of philanthropic unity?", a cold, flat voice asks from the doorway. There stands Mai in her cool, detached fifteen-year-old glory.

If I hadn't been well-read in my previous life, I wouldn't have caught half of that. As it happens, I heard and understood the entirety of it after just a moment of stupefaction. "Yes. I am", something like a frown mars her delicate features, "Though I'll give you that there are societal and traditional restrictions imposed on those living in the Northern Watertribe's society."

"Such as…?"

I give her attempt at fishing a beatific smile, even though she can't see it. That mask really is inconvenient if you want to make someone else feel stupid. Now it's just me feeling stupid all by my lonesome. "Women are traditionally not part of the military forces."

Though I have a feeling that with Katara's recent successful bout of rebelliousness, others might feel it the time to change that. If not, the subject can be revisited once this entire ordeal with the Firelord wanting to destroy the entire world is over. Something has just occurred to me. If his intentions are to give the world a 'rebirth', why would he even bother with the conquering? I can understand taking cities like Omashu and Ba Sing Se. They are the ones with enough power and connections that they could threaten him even with the Comet. But the farming villages that are being terrorised? Unnecessary.

Mai's mouth has gained a displeased twist to it. Evidently, she thinks that tradition is bollocks. I agree, but I wonder if she will see that or impose her views on bigoted traditionalists upon my humble self. It seems either she is doing her best at not antagonising me after that scene earlier, or she can tell when I'm testing her. I'm not certain what I'm looking for either.

Instead of waiting for her answer silently and patiently, I get up and put the bowl of soup with the other dirty dishes. This puts my back to her. "You have healed."

I half-turn and inspect her suddenly eager stance out of the corner of my eye. Or whatever passes for eager for nobles. Although Yue was much freer in her expressions, so it might just be a thing Mai does. Her statement requires no verbal answer from me.

"I had heard", she begins cautiously, stepping fully into the room, "That only the female waterbenders are healers."

That is an interesting revelation into the insight the Fire Nation has into the inner workings of the Northern Watertribe. It is a crucial and useful detail for them to know, which is why it worries me slightly that they have discovered it. "There are those among us who believe that if it is possible for you to learn something, and you want to, you should."

"Another societal restriction that you have chosen to ignore, then?", she questions.

"Another?", I raise my brows at her, turning to look at her fully.

She crosses her arms, "One does not usually remain in the enemy stronghold after hostile negotiations."

That startles a chuckle out of me and it makes her relax slightly. "You… appear to abhor traditions", she concludes quietly.

A slow and honest smile stretches my face underneath the mask, "When they stand in the way of philanthropy."

I know in my heart that she would smile if she didn't feel that it'd mean she lost something by doing so. Instead, she shifts her shoulders into something that would be a confrontational stance, if she weren't also clasping her hands in front of her body. "Walk with me", and with that, she sweeps from the kitchen.

This should be interesting.

She navigates the palace hallways with ease that I didn't expect. But then again, she must have had little else but exploring to do before Azula and the Avatar arrived. She takes me to a room of which the doors are closed and no sounds escape from the inside. Her slanted eyes rove over my form and briefly halt on my hands that cradle her little brother to my chest.

She opens the door. Inside lies a prone figure covered in white bandages that stand out starkly against lightly tanned skin. Circus Girl.

Mai wants me to heal her friend. A friend I came very close to killing earlier. Very, very close. I turn my head to look at her. Her expression is closed off, but there are traces of worry and fear in her body language.

When I fail to address her obvious un-worded hopes, the corners of her mouth turn downwards.

"The healers say Ty Lee will never speak a word again", her voice is rough and heavy with emotion as she stares at her friend, "Her ribs will take years to fully heal, and only if she does not… partake in strenuous activities. Her stomach is bruised so badly they suspect internal bleedings. I-", she cuts herself off, reclasps her hands and takes a deep, shuddering breath, "I would formally request you to heal her. I have little to offer in return, but I shall give what I can."

"Well, isn't that touching", I drawl as my mind flits through the possibilities. I could just heal her. But I could also ask Mai to delay Azula, sabotage her hunt for the Avatar. However, Mai is fifteen and Azula is, apart from Circus Girl, her closest friend. It would put an immense burden on her shoulders. Besides, Azula is intelligent enough to realise what Mai would be doing, even if she was extremely careful about it.

I use the few seconds it takes for her to recover from her emotional… outburst and my subsequent insensitivity to move towards Circus Girl. She looks… like she's a step away from Death's door. I crouch beside her head. She's asleep. I wouldn't be surprised if they had given her poppy to dull the pain.

Coming to a decision I rise and turn towards Mai. "You will owe me a favour of equal value", I say, hand outstretched. The baby in my other arm makes a gurgling noise. It goes ignored.

Mai almost seems to rush the few steps that separate us and clenches her slender fingers around mine so strongly I almost want to clench back. "Yes", she chokes it out, undisguised relief flooding her features.

"I will leave it up to you whether you decide to inform anyone else of this little agreement", I say and she slowly loosens her grip as she nods.

I kneel beside the half-dead-looking girl on the floor. "You can stay or you can leave. I don't think this has to be voiced, but if you attempt to take the brat, there will be very little stopping me from undoing my work."

She chooses to kneel on the opposite side of her friend. I set her little brother down beside me and, surprisingly enough, he remains.

After so much time spent manipulating the water in the air, it is easy to gather enough to get to work on the Circus Girl's damaged vocal chords and whatever else I cut. It takes immense concentration to heal such delicate parts of the body, especially since I don't want to cut off her airflow. It occurs to me that Circus Girl might not appreciate waking to the feeling of someone manipulating fluids inside her throat.

"Wake her", I instruct Mai as I decide how best to go about it. Throat first, then her ribs. That is the easy decision to make.

Circus Girl wakes sluggishly from her near-comatose sleep. Mai uses soothing words and gentle fingers to keep her calm. Then, her eyes fall on me and widen in panic.

I do nothing but wait as Mai firmly restrains her without hurting her friend any further. "He's here to help. He will heal you", it does nothing to quell her panic.

The brat beside me is almost hit by a flailing leg. I decide to press it down gently while calming the flinch that almost knocks the baby on his back with a soothing hand between his tiny shoulders. Her reaction to my touch is to go unnaturally still. This would work for me, if I were trying to terrify her. But as it happens, I want to heal her. I need her throat not to close up with fear.

Some psychological aspect of it might be soothed if she can endure this without the crippling fear she feels now. Or something. (It may also make me slightly uncomfortable that when I touch her, she is too terrified to move. Uneasy is not in my nature.)

"If my face ends up plastered on notice boards all over the Fire Nation occupied territory, I will find a way to make your lives utter misery", I say as I remove the hand I have on her leg to untie the mask covering my features. Mai has no visual reaction to the show of trust, but I can see how Circus Girl is a little less… tense now. But the little progress that is made is instantly void once I meet her terrified gaze.

With a deliberate, slow and careful motion I bend my wrist, trace it in a swirl and allow a clear ball of water to form in my palm.

"You trust your friend, don't you?", I say and without waiting for confirmation or removing my eyes from hers, I manipulate the water into steam, then back into water, careful to retain the heat, or as much as is possible. We want it sterile, after all.

"He and I have come to an understanding", Mai chips in, "He will heal you in return for a future favour of equal value from me."

Something in Circus Girl's large doe-eyes eases. The fact that that makes a knot come undone in my chest will forever go unspoken.

"This will make you uncomfortable. It will feel cool and soothing and invasive", I say and lean forwards. "You will be able to speak afterwards, without pain, though I cannot promise that your voice will be as it was before."

She blinks.

I take it as confirmation to begin and use the hand not manipulating the water to take hold of her chin and gently open her mouth. What I do next is bring the water close, but a twitch of her neck tells me she will panic if I continue. I move away slightly.

Again, deliberately, I meet her once again terrified gaze. "Look at your friend. Go to your happy place. I don't care, but I would hate to have to restrain you forcefully. It will not be a pretty experience for either of us."

She tries to swallow, fails with a pained noise that would be a moan, if her vocal chords cooperated.

Mai lays a soothing hand on her cheek. "Please, Ty Lee. Please. I know you can do this."

Circus Girl blinks again and looks at her friend.

I repeat my motions and this time there is no twitch.

Smoothly, the water slithers into her mouth, to the back of her throat and down. I move the hand on her chin to her neck, guiding the water to where it needs to be. Then, with higher focus than I use for learning a new trick, I begin to heal.

It is not difficult, really, only intricate and somewhat tiring.

When I am done, and remove the water slowly, trickle by bloody trickle, I feel a bead of sweat run down my temple. Ah, lovely. Maybe I'll be able to take a shower somewhere in the city later. That would be therapeutic in many, many different ways.

With a flick of my wrist, I disperse the water and sit back on my heels.

"M-Mai", the Circus Girl croaks, voice rough and like sandpaper.

Mai is ready to burst into tears. I'll spare us both the embarrassment. "Get her some water", I say quietly, aware that she doesn't want to leave Circus Girl's side, but knowing that she would never drink bended water from an icy cup I could make.

The girl gets up and hurries to procure some water. Which leaves me with a very apprehensive-looking Circus Girl. I say nothing as she warily inspects my face.

"You", she whispers, "Took that fireball for me."

A wry twist of my lips, "Could've been better in the end, if I hadn't", I touch my own throat.

She doesn't know what to say to that.

"I realise that this is going to mean very little coming from me", I begin, wondering at the same time why I even bother, but some part of me urges to, "But you are aware that Aang, Katara and Sokka only fight to defend themselves and their friends, aren't you?"

They are not soldiers, or even really trained for this kind of thing. Aang is twelve and has too soft a heart to kill anyone. Katara might want to fight, but she hardly likes having to defend her life and those of her friends just because they are who they are on a weekly basis. Sokka is the same, even though he would like to join his father.

"And you?", she questions and my eyes flicker briefly to the brat still sitting where I put him down.

"I have killed before. I will do it again", I say simply instead of telling her exactly who beheaded Admiral Zhao.

She swallows thickly and raises a shaking hand to touch her throat.

With a sardonic smile that says 'yes, even pretty girls like you' I untie the knot on the bandages around her ribcage. I don't spare a thought for her modesty as her purple and bruised skin shiny with some kind of ointment or cream is uncovered layer by layer. This is simple. Broken ribs needed healing plenty during the aftermath of the Invasion.

Once I've finished, I check for other injuries and bruises. There are some on her lower back and shoulder where she must've landed when I tackled her. Those are taken care of as easily as breathing. Or they would be, if she were inclined to roll onto her stomach instead of covering her breasts and running a frantic hand over her now intact ribcage.

Sighing, I wait until she's done with that.

"Roll over", I say and the exasperation in my tone must make her look up at me.

With a snappish twist to her mouth, she does as instructed. The bruises are healed quickly and Mai returns just as I hand Circus Girl a blanket for her nakedness. There is an endless care and gentleness to her movements as she helps her friend drink water and soothes her through a coughing fit.

Silently, I re-tie the mask to my face and pick the quiet and still strangely compliant brat up. He slaps his pudgy little hands against my neck and taps my throat a few times. I have no idea what he wants to say to me.

"Wait", Circus Girl says in her slightly less croaky voice as I turn to leave while they're both distracted.

I have a feeling of foreboding as I turn my head to look at her.

"What about Azula?"

Well.

Does that mean she hasn't woken from her unconscious state?

I slide curious eyes to Mai. "Wasn't she recovering just fine earlier?"

Circus Girl casts a both apologetic and admonishing look at her friend. "She has been behaving strangely."

"Ty Lee", Mai hisses warningly, but she is ignored.

"When she came to visit me she was… she thinks she's ten years old and her mother is punishing her for being mean to Zuko."

Ah. How… unfortunate. Not. Brain damage is something… far too delicate for my rather untested organ-healing expertise. Beside my rather conflicted opinion of her, I have no knowledge of the internal workings of the brain, where the memory cache is, what could be attempted without any physical healing involved.

"The Fire Nation Princess", I say very slowly, "Is quite an obsessive individual."

I do believe Mai understands my meaning immediately, Circus Girl takes a moment longer.

"Please! She's our friend! I'll- I'll do anything!"

"There is little to nothing that I would want from you and even less that would make me consider helping someone ready to kill a dear friend of mine", I say, but I do wonder what it is she will offer me now.

"What is it that you want, then?", Mai asks coolly.

"I would like", I say flatly, "For this war to end without the Firelord ruling over the entire known world. Or his insane daughter."

"In-… insane?", Circus Girl whispers.

"Sociopathic with mummy and daddy issues to fill an ocean, if you prefer", I say and she flinches, just a little. "So tell me, what would healing Azula do for me?"

And then, a thought pops into my head. What is more precious to the Fire Nation than their princess, the one who will become Firelord once her father is no more? Certainly not a city only recently occupied, of which the King has been freed and the resistance is ready to fight.

"A pardon", Mai says, even though I can hear that she doesn't think it will do anything for me.

I opt to stare at her until she looks away. She takes a long half-minute during which Circus Girl shifts uncomfortably.

"You really think that?", she finally asks in her croaky voice.

I stare at her until she clarifies, "That Azula is insane?"

I could now list all the reasons why I believe Azula cannot be reasoned with like any other person aside from her father. "Yes."

"But… you don't know her."

"From what I've seen so far, I have no desire to", I say and it's like a slap in the face, she flinches almost violently. While that is vaguely better than her terror earlier, I do wonder where it went. I have expected some kind of mental deficiency on her part for voluntarily spending time with Azula, but for her to forget the instinctual fear I instilled in her only minutes ago is a little much.

"But Azula is a good person!"

My eyebrows feel like they've climbed to my hairline.

"You seem like a sweet girl", this, coming out of nowhere throws her even more off balance, "Do you usually go around assisting in the arrest of children?"

With me having implied this earlier, her reaction is rather over the top: she actually rears back with no regard for Mai behind her and the back of her head impacts the other girl's chin with enough force to send her sprawling.

"MAI!", Circus Girl shouts and hurries to check on her friend.

The noise summons none other than Azula.

Immediately, she takes an offensive stance, ready to protect her friends with fire, if need be. But I watch her eyes flicker over my non-aggressive stance, the baby in my arms and the way I'm too far away to have done anything to Mai. She catalogues all this within an instant and decides to wait on Circus Girl's verdict as to Mai's condition.

With a moan, Mai sits up, cradling her chin in one hand, the back of her head in the other.

"Mai, are you okay?", Circus Girl hurries to ask, and pries away her friend's hands to inspect the damage. That her own head appears not to hurt at all says much about her… I'll just not go there. This is even more pathetic than egging on Katara.

"You're bleeding! Oh, you're bleeding!", she turns her imploring eyes on me, "Heal her! Heal her like you did me!"

With a snort, I shake my head, "Is she going to owe me another favour? Are you?"

"No. I will", Azula states.

What the fuck?

Of course, she thinks she's ten. She thinks that I'll actually believe her when she utters that.

I sigh, "Sure you will, princess."

A thunderous expression takes over her face, "A favour from me could go a long way for you."

I turn my head to look at Circus Girl, who appears to put all her hopes on Azula's shoulders. I glance at Mai, who Is dabbing at the back of her head with some cloth that comes away bloody. I lock eyes with a very interested-looking brat in my arms.

"Right to a prison cell, yeah?", I ask in an annoyingly patronising voice that no one must have ever dared use on her before.

"If you continue to speak to me that way, then yes!"

That startles a laugh out of me. Spirits, my life.

She shifts into a stance that I know allows her to kick swaths of flames my way very, very rapidly. "Can we not do this again? I've had enough of bending for one day."

"What? This is the first time I have met you!"

"You didn't tell her. Of course you didn't tell her."

"Tell me what?", she demands, indignant.

What a brat this girl is. And with everyone forced to defer to her, no wonder she thinks she can just go around hunting the Avatar, torturing her brother psychologically and taking control of armies at fifteen.

"Tell me WHAT!"

What a temper she has. Dear me, I think I Pakku got the lucky draw with Katara. Whoever managed to teach Azula anything has my respect.

While Mai shrinks away from the noise that must be hurting her head, Circus Girl looks like a deer in headlights.

What did she expect? The princess believes herself to be ten years old. She only needs to take a passing glance into a mirror to find out that that isn't true.

"Find yourself a mirror and you'll know, princess", I drawl in stark contrast to her shouting and her expression goes from indignant impatience to fury.

"No, YOU find me a mirror!", she demands, and, really, I'm not one to let this golden opportunity to leave slip from my hands.

Without another word, I exit the room, close the door softly behind my back and disappear along the corridor.

Man, what a day.

First a failed hostage exchange; then I manage to plan the liberation of Omashu; there is a violent fight that manages to trigger Aang's Avatar State; the resistance has to fend off Fire Nation troops; I go negotiate for the return of my hostage; have a political discussion with a cook; heal one of the enemies I almost killed today; argue with her and manage to escape a literally out-of-her-mind Fire Nation Princess.

I think it's about time that I return to the others and see how Aang is doing. But first, this door looks interesting…

What is beyond it, is positively precious.

The archive.

I might just take a little while longer.

If I thought I had any hope at all at finding anything related to philosophy as I knew it in my first lifetime, I would search for it. As it happens, I don't. Besides, I believe that there is little of that that would help me in my situation at all.

I remember quite a few texts about learning to hold life dear as it is, or harnessing your positive energy and conserving it through good deeds. Those… were not always helpful. As someone who views themselves as a sometimes-optimistic realist, there is little to be said for articles about the positive effect of happiness in your life.

You know it when you see it and that's that.

As with all things, it's not quite that simple. If things do not appear simple, they must be made simple by way of understanding. To know how to solve a problem, is to understand it.

Although, to recognise when you are happy; to replicate a situation in which you experience the feeling, those are skills that must, at times, be re-learnt. Especially when you are in the process of doing something that is necessary, but not a factor that you want playing into your happiness-quota. It can be a job. It can be your general situation.

It can be the fact that you gave a fifteen-year-old a concussion so severe that she cannot remember anything beyond her tenth birthday.

Spirits, is this what I've come to?

Is this what killing Jhao made me into?

A jaded coward (too afraid to make use of an opportunity open for me just there)?

Damn.

I'm responsible for it, but I won't be held accountable because this is war. It's only my own sense of morality and conscience that guides me. Not healing her could mean just as disastrous consequences as healing her and having her know that it's me she has to thank for her continued ability to do anything. (Hunt the Avatar, vie for her father's approval, torment Zuko, manipulate her friends…)

Then again, I might not be able to heal her. Going back and attempting it, only to fail could result in disastrous consequences. Perhaps even deadly consequences.

But it just doesn't sit quite right with me to leave Azula as a ten-year-old. As far as she's concerned, she still has her mother. Her cousin is still alive and her father is second in line to inherit the throne. It could be funny to watch her struggle and flounder, bluster her way clumsily through situations she cannot properly assess. But all of her failures, all her frustration and hate would turn to me, since, after all, I was the one to give her that concussion.

I would do well to remember that even as a villain, and someone with major psychological issues, she's just as young as her friends. Where I have an additional lifetime to look back on, to draw strength from, they're in the middle of puberty.

With a few choice curse-words, I decide to go for any recent records, pocket them and set about finding a bleeding mirror. Not, that I'm a fan of blood or anything.

But it would be fun to see if there was something like it. Or perhaps a bled-on mirror? Though those could be a little disturbing to think about more than the bleeding mirrors…

In the end, it comes down to which choices I won't hate myself for.

The mirror I find is disappointingly clean.

I return to the room I left them in to find two additional people inside. Healers, it seems, from the way they are fussing over Mai and stealing furtive glances at Azula.

My silent entrance goes unnoticed.

"I will be fine", Mai says, pushing the hands reaching for her head away.

"I'm so sorry, Mai", Circus Girl has tears in her eyes.

As I move to the wall beside me and lean against it, the baby on my arm smacks his lips together loudly, the sound disproportionately loud directly by my ear. Immediately, five heads swivel in my direction. Azula scrambles to her feet, if that can even be called scrambling. It's more of a less graceful way to stand.

"Your mirror", I toss it over, and she catches it shakily with a glare that I'm not too sceptical about it setting me on fire.

A glance into it and already she's looking back at me. Then her eyes snap back to her reflection and widen comically. "What…", she whispers, staring at her own face with astonishment.

Circus Girl is beside her in a moment, hovering worriedly as Azula takes in her appearance.

"Why do I look like her?", her voice is cold, but brittle around the edges. I'm reminded of the time she went truly mad.

"She's your mo-"

"Yes", she cuts her friend off sharply, takes a deep breath, "How did this happen?"

Circus Girl's eyes dart to me, looking apprehensive. She's worried that if she tells her princess that I'm the one she has to thank for this, I won't agree to heal her.

But the small movement is enough for Azula to round on me. With a shaking hand, she points at me accusingly, "You! You did this! Fix it! FIX IT!"

When I give no outward sign of having heard her, she stomps towards me, dropping the mirror in the process. It shatters to pieces by her feet, and she doesn't appear to care.

"You can heal! Fix this! Fix-"

"Fix you?", I mock and she falters mid-stride. Self-esteem issues become apparent. How very good insight I have. "There is hardly any point. To me, you are acting just as you would at fifteen. You're more of a spoilt brat than this one", I poke the baby's nose. He giggles cutely.

"Spoilt-", she flounders. She was trapped, groomed to be the perfect puppet form the time of her birth. The only question is, can she break free?

I turn to look at her friends, take a few steps towards them, rounding Azula. "Poor, poor princess. Did your mother never teach you to be kind?"

A screech of anger and I can feel the heat of flames through my shirt as I slap her fist away easily. Too easily. Does she want to be subdued, stopped? Does she test me? Perhaps, in the most unlikely of ways, she has mastered the third Jin.

"Is it perhaps", I say and inspect the limp appendage at her side, "That you think you deserve to be loved?"

A wounded noise from Circus Girl. Wow. I am such an arsehole.

"I'll heal you", I tell her.

"But?", Azula asks.

"When the time comes that you understand my motivations, I will find you", I declare softly.

"When will you heal me?"

"Once I've determined that everyone dear to me is out of your reach."

It's a harsh thing to say. But with the way Azula averts her eyes, it needed to be said. She is aware of her own cruelty. She must be aware of how much better she is at manipulation at fifteen. She knows that I do not trust her.

I take a knee beside Mai and reach out with gentle fingers to free her from the bandages. She lets me without protest.

I heal her with care, then I stand. "I'll return with your brother as promised. I will take care of the princess after that."

She nods and the other two watch as I leave the room.

This got complicated fast.

[please leave a review on your way out]