37_Could Never Leave Her

Li Yao's gaze turned to the file in Mu Lihai's hand. Was this the reason he was acting out of character?

She didn't like him not speaking to her.

She was worried.

"Whatever is troubling you, calm down first and then you can tell me. I'll listen." she told him softly as she took a seat beside him on the sofa and gave him a hug.

Her body warmth turned his icy cold skin soft and it made his initial freezing heart to melt.

".. Sorry." his voice choked.

Li Yao didn't understand why he apologized out of the blue. Her eyes subconsciously peeking over the content of the report and the first thing she saw was her mother's name on it.

Li Yao understood instantly. So the thread needed to be untangle right at this moment..

Wasn't it too early?

She sighed. Then she slowly grabbed the report from his hand and she put it down after skimming it for a while. During this time, his head went blank and he was too afraid to move. It looked as if he was waiting for his judgement day.

"I know." these two words rendered him speechless.

"And that is the reason why I was out of contact with you for the entire weekend." she explained slowly.

So she already knew?

That was why she didn't answer or message him back?

So she deliberately turned off her phone and ignored his messages..?

So that was intentional?

Mu Lihai couldn't help but think of the worse. Yesterday when he called her in front of HL firm, she answered.

Why did she answer?

Various possibilities were present in his head but he could only think of one obvious outcome.

Today.. was the day she wanted to break things off, right?

That was why she treated him gently last night?

".. Why?" his wavering voice made her heart tremble. His sweet voice was no way in the vicinity as he looked pensive.

She didn't like the look in his eyes at all. He always stared at her with a gaze of a man in love, but now all she could see was something unexplainable and clouded. It was hard to discern how his eyes seemed to show.

"I was sorting out my feelings. I'm sorry for not getting in touch with you and making you worry." she smiled towards him in which he denied.

Mu Lihai felt sick. He couldn't see her smiling like this at him. He felt like a sinner. He fought the nightmares and emotional battle by himself alone all these years. He thought he was finally able to be happy and live normally without remembering that incident.

He had thought that he finally moved on.

But why was fate so cruel to him?

Why was she so kind? He killed her mother didn't he?!

"I.. I'm sorry.. Li Yao I'm sorry! I- I.. don't know-" his voice cracked. He looked afraid. Afraid of what was about to come out from her mouth.

"Please.. listen to me." she said. Her hand moved to find his. She gripped his hand which was colder than usual. Giving it a reassuring squeeze, she sighed softly.

"I'm sorry.. I really am.. I was wrong.. Li Yao-" Mu Lihai could no longer think straight. He was so afraid he trembled slightly.

"Listen, I'm not going to break up with you or anything. I love you. You're the most important person to me now and I have no one else. So please stay by my side." her words rocked his head and soul. They threw him motionless as he didn't know what to make of this situation. He froze in an instant.

Was he hearing things?

She wasn't going to break up with him?

She wanted him to stay by her side?

Her words made him utterly confused. As much as he loved and appreciated her for not cutting off their relationship, but somehow he couldn't help but become paranoid. His sleepless nights for the past six years haunted him again in this most vulnerable moment.

".. H- how could you say that?! Your mother! She died because-" that was when Mu Lihai's lips were sealed with a sudden kiss. His eyes widened in disbelief.

The kiss went on with him still in daze, not reciprocating her initiative. Impatience laced her heart as she bit his bottom lip, causing him to groan unconsciously.

"W- wait.. Li Yao-" Mu Lihai's words didn't get to her as she shoved her delicate tongue inside his mouth. It shocked him to the core as she pushed him down the sofa, now on top of him.

Li Yao's face was as red as a ripened tomato. But more than that- she was angry. She was irritated.

"Do you think this is easy for me to say?!" her voice was high. It was in high-pitch, it showed how mad she really was.

"I deliberately stopped answering your calls, I turned my phone off and I had to deal with my evil relatives by myself! I had no one to rely on!" Li Yao shouted for all her might. The whole apartment was filled with her helpless shriek.

"But when I was thinking of you.. I trusted that I'm not alone anymore." her face a hint of sadness.

"I decided to not be rash and discover things by myself. Until.. until I found that my mom jumped on the road in thoughts of committing suicide.." this time, her voice came out weak. Her damp broke that moment. Tears fell from her face continuously. The shirt Mu Lihai wore was stained by her tears that had fell from her cheek as white pearls in the ocean.

He couldn't see her face clearly.

His mind went blank again. All of a sudden, his fear turned into mush.

Her mother committed suicide? By deliberately getting hit by his car?

"I was so alone.. these days are the most unbearable for me.. I know you weren't at fault but I still.. I still wanted to find out myself. I feel so horrible." Li Yao's cries went on and on. He had never seen her cry this way before. It looked as if regrets and guilt had trapped her in silence and broke her in the dark.

This expression killed him. It felt like a knife had stabbed him over and over again. It was painful to see her like this.

Li Yao was always reasonable. She was mature and likable. Showing weakness was never her forte. She was always kind and considerate and also strong in her own unique way. She never screamed like this, not in her entire lifetime.

He never knew that she was harboring a painful untold story inside her. He felt ashamed. How could he think of only himself at this time? He was stricken in guilt that he never saw Li Yao's dilemma and problems. He never thought of asking for her opinion in the matter. He felt like everything was his fault.

But now that she was here in front of him, asking him to stay by her side. Telling him that it was not easy for her.. he suddenly felt very ashamed of himself.

So she was also fighting herself..

"Li Yao.. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.." Mu Lihai pulled Li Yao onto his body and she fell down on his chest.

"Please don't cry.." he whispered softly. His face lacing in guilt. But for the first time in forever, the guilt didn't come from that incident six years ago. It came from seeing his lover cried because she was feeling helpless.

He instinctively circled his arms on her back and trapped her in his embrace. His naturally cold body temperature sent a shiver down her spine. A refreshing sensation gushed through her entire body and her cries worsened.

He was in a pit. Why wouldn't she stop crying??

"Tell me everything, Li Yao. Don't bottle it up anymore. I promise I will stay by your side. I won't go anywhere. You can shackle me, bind me. I won't mind. Please just stop crying.." he promised her. And she stopped crying. Her crystal-like eyes with misty tears were making him sad. He felt a powerful tug in his heart.

That was when he realized that although he might have hurt her in the future or in the past, Mu Lihai could never leave her. Not in a million years.