Bonus: A Drunken Lullaby

"Hey, what the hell mane?! I wasn't finished with that!"

"Boo-hoo. Superate a ti misma, perezosa borracha."

(Boo-hoo. Get over yourself, lazy drunk.)

"Aye fuck you mane!"

I throw the beer glass at him but he doges it and it shatters against the wall.

"¿Estás jodidamente loco? ¡Lanza algo más y te golpearé!"

(Are you fucking crazy? Throw something else and I'll hit you!)

"Yeah yeah, blow it out your ass, dipshit."

I open up another bottle and take a long chug.

'Dear baby Jesus, if I pass out and die here, please send an angel with a huge rack to take me away. Amen.'

A hard slap is delivered to the back of my head and I choke on my drink. "Aye what the fuck?!"

Ricky sits down beside me and take the beer from my hands. "You've had too much to drink again. We're going home."

"Eh? When you get here?"

"Bartender called."

"Mhm, can I at least finish this one off?"

"No. Vámonos."

He pulls me by my collar and I stumble behind him like the drunken fool I am. When we make it to the car, I pass out in the back but as soon as the car starts moving, I roll off the seat.

"Ouch! Could ya slow it down? My ass hurts."

"En este momento realmente no es el momento de pedir favores."

(Right now is really not the time to ask for favors.)

'What the hell? Why is still speaking in Spanish? We already left the bar unless- Oh fuck...he's pissed!'

"Hey man, I know that um, I fucked up but um...What was I talking about?"

He sucks his teeth, "Tch. Actúas como un maldito niño, Carlos. No debería tener que seguir cuidando de ti."

(You act like a damn kid, Carlos. I shouldn't have to keep taking care of you.)

"So stop tryna act like my father! I can take care of myself so if I wanna get wasted then gotdamnit, I'll get wasted!"

He slams on the gas and I hit my head on the seat. "Aye!"

"Salir."

(Get out.)

The doors simultaneously unlock and he looks straight ahead.

"What?"

"Tienes razón. No soy tu padre, así que sal de mi puto auto."

(You're right. I'm not your father, so get out of my fucking car.)

"Fine, but if I get murdered it's your fault."

I step out of the car and the cool air whips past my nose. He does a quick u-turn and rolls down the window.

"Si puedes venir a casa con vida, te dejaré tomar una copa todas las semanas, pero si tengo que enviar a alguien para que venga a buscarte, no habrá más bebidas."

(If you can come home alive, I'll let you have a drink every week, but if I have to send someone to come get you, there will be no more drinks.)

"WHAT?! NO MORE DRINKS?! For how long?"

"Hasta que te diga que puedes otra otra vez."

(Until I tell you that you can again.)

I huff, "Fine, you have a deal."

"Pero hay una trampa. No puede obtener ninguna ayuda, eso significa que no hay taxis, no pedir direcciones, nada."

(But there is a catch. You can't get any help, that means there are no taxis, no asking for directions, nothing.)

'Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! What do I do?! I have no idea where I'm at!'

"Shit..."

"Sip. ¿Aún quieres hacerlo?"

(Yep. Do you still want to do it?)

"Hell yeah." It might be the liquor talking and I might lose but whatever. I'm in it now man.

Ricky rolls up his window and speeds off leaving me all alone in the middle of a dark and unfamiliar road.

"Dumb-ass, why can't I keep my big ass mouth closed?!"

I move out of the street and head in the same direction in which we were heading before. An odd feeling washes over me as I walk. I unconsciously start to sing Duérmete Mi Niño An old Cuban lullaby my grandmother would sing to me when I would wake up out of my sleep from nightmares.

"Arrorró mi niño, arrorró mi amor arrorró pedazo demi corazón."

(Hush-a-bye, my baby, hush-a-bye my love, hush-a-bye, oh piece of my heart.)

By the time I finish mindlessly singing the entire song, I come to and realize the the direction I've been walking in has lead me back to a more familiar part of town.

"Thank you for leading me back home abuela." I look up at the clear night sky and inhale the fresh air.

[Outside the door of the mansion]

"Open up bitches!" I bang on the door one last time before Kaz opens it up and scowls at me.

"Do you even know what time it is?!" She pulls me in the house and sits me down on one of the kitchen stools.

"I've been up all night trying to call you and see where you where! Do you even know how worried I was? I almost had a panic attack-"

"Aye hermanita, clam down. I left my

phone in the back of your dumb little boyfriend's car. Why don't you ask him where I was."

"Ricky did this?"

I nod.

"I'm gonna kill 'em."

She walks over to the staircase and calls for him. He slowly makes his way down and laughs when he sees me.

"You called for me, love?"

With her back facing me, she points over at where I'm sitting, "What the hell happened to him?"

He joins me at the counter, "Carlos here got so drunk that the bartender had to call me to pick him up. On our way back he gave me a friendly reminder that I'm not his father and that he didn't need my help, so I made him walk home."

Kaz slaps him clean across his face and he holds his now bruised cheek then licks the blood coming from his mouth and laughs.

"Are you insane?! He's intoxicated so of course he's gonna say dumb shit like that! You gotta stop being so damn sensitive all the time!"

"He made it back, didn't he?"

She looks at me then back at him, "Yeah but that's no excuse. He could've been hit by a car and left on the street! Or maybe even killed by someone and we wouldn't even know until it was too late!"

"Jesus Kaz, you're worse than my abuela."

She shoots me a 'you better shut the fuck up or else look' and I close my mouth.

"Carlos, go upstairs please. I'd like to talk to Ricardo alone."

Ricky's eyes get wide, like deer caught in headlights. He looks at me and aggressively shakes his head no and pleads for me to stay.

"Bye-bye."

"Oh god no! Carlos please! It was just a joke, please don't leave me here with her!"

"Karma's a bitch, bitch!"

I happily skip up the stairs and let Kaz do what she does best.

'I guess this night wasn't all that bad.'