The Ex-Girlfriend

4 months had passed by and things between me and Taylor were good, but I still couldn't help but feel some sort of shift in our friendship. He's probably getting bored of me. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep a friend because I was just so bad at social interaction. I don't know what to say to him to keep the conversation going and stuff.

I'm scared one day he's going to leave me and everything will go back to the way it was. I haven't had anyone talk to me, let alone care about me so much. Why did he care about me? I thought he hated me. I wonder if he secretly had an ulterior motive that I didn't know about.

Well besides that, Ivan stopped bullying him. I wonder if Taylor had anything to do with it. I peered over at him, watching him do his work. I don't know how he was doing in school before, but he looked so concentrated now. He was being very attentive to what the teacher was saying. He looked so calm and...beautiful. Gosh, what am I saying?

Suddenly his head turned and faced me and I jerked my head back down to my work. Crap, did he see me staring at him? I was terrified. What should I do? What should I do? He seemed to be writing something in his notebook again. He passed it to me and it read, Is something bothering you? I grabbed his notebook and wrote my response to which I said, No, I'm fine to which he replied with Are you sure? and I just replied with a simple yes. Not much was needed to say left, yet he decided to continue bothering me about it.

"Is it Ivan?" he suddenly whispered.

"No," I whispered back, "and please don't do this right now. We might get caught."

"Fine then." he said and went back to focusing on his work.

I wonder if he was getting tired of me not telling him anything. It's clear he wants me to open up more but I don't know how. I'm not really used to people asking about how I feel and stuff. I mean this could probably change for the better with the help of Taylor. I wonder if our friendship is actually going to have a specific impact on each of our lives. I find it strange that all of this is happening right when senior year has started. 

After class ended, Taylor escorted me to my next class just in case Ivan tries doing anything again. He's been very protective of me since he found out I was being bullied. A lot of people would question our sudden interaction since he was the popular guy and I was the loner, but Taylor didn't care about any of that. He cared about me, but sometimes, it was a bit too much.

    "You know you don't have to be my bodyguard now, right?"

"Don't be mean, I'm practically saving you from any more danger."

"You're being paranoid, I'm pretty sure nothing will happen to me if you're not with me. I've survived 10 years without you, remember?"

"I'm sorry, you're right but I just feel so uncomfortable leaving you alone now."

"I'll be fine, I promise."

"Okay then. I'll text you where to meet up after school, okay?"

"Okay then, bye." I said, waving at him.

Then all of a sudden, he hugged me. He felt so warm and comfortable. His chest was so solid and I could hear his heartbeat, it was...racing. Why was it beating so fast? 

When he pulled away from the hug, he gave me a warm smile and it made me feel something so...different. Why does he make me feel this way? What is he trying to do to me? These past few months with him have certainly been interesting, but I couldn't help but wonder, was it only a friendship we were forming?

•♡•

Haden has seemed to be worried about something lately, but I wasn't sure what it was. Everytime I would ask him, he would barely respond. I know he's probably not used to being asked about his well being. I'm sure he practically grew up raising himself. Despite living under my mother's care, he's always been independent from the start. He learned to cook on his own and he did his laundry dry on his own. He was much more responsible than I could ever be. 

I wanted to make it up to him somehow so I'm going to throw him a birthday party. It's tomorrow so I barely have time to prepare the celebration. It wasn't exactly going to be a full-on party because he barely knew anybody and I don't think he'd be comfortable with having a party full of strangers. I wanted to make sure that he was purely happy on his birthday and it shouldn't be my idea of happiness. 

I wonder if doing all this will be too much for him. Am I showing that I care too much, and he'll end up figuring out I have feelings for him? Crap, maybe this was a bad idea. I can probably not let him know that it was me who planned all of this though, I can just say that it was my mom doing all this. Yeah, that could work out much better. 

Okay, so first of all, I have to get that cake that he likes so much but I don't remember which one it was. I can just head to the store where we found it, that could probably jog my memory. The problem is, I can't do all this after school though since Haden will be walking with me. I could probably just ditch class right now, it's not like we do anything for this next class anyways. My grades have been getting better too, so maybe I won't get in too much trouble. Still, why was I doing better academically now?

I left the school through the back gate and started walking towards the store. It was halfway between the school and our house so it wasn't too far away. My mind started to wander and I reminded myself of the hug. Why did I do that? I feel like an idiot, having feelings for someone makes you do stupid things. Did I want to mark my territory or something? What am I? A dog? Fuck, Haden is probably going to be awkward around me after that. 

I arrived at the store and the smell of the bakery gave me a nostalgic feeling that might actually help me remember the cake that Haden loved so much. I walked towards the bakery and found the baker. When he turned around, he had instantly recognized me. 

"Taylor! Hello! It is so nice to see you again! Wow, you've grown up so much since the last time you came." 

"Hello, I was wondering, do you remember Haden?"

"Well yes, I do! Speaking of which, where is he?"

"He's at school right now."

"And why aren't you there?"

"Well I wanted to plan something for Haden's birthday. It's tomorrow."

"Oh, I see. I assume you're looking for the cake that he would always get from here."

"Yes, is it here?" 

"Well, I had just run out of premade ones. If you want, I can bake you a fresh one. It'll be ready by tomorrow."

"But tomorrow is Haden's birthday. How am I going to get it? And when am I supposed to pick it up?"

"Well it'll be ready around noon, so like 12pm?"

"Okay, so I'll just ditch class again and come here to pick up the cake."

"No, you should pick it up after school."

"But Haden's gonna be walking with me. He can't see the cake. You know what? Just tell my mom to pick up the cake. I don't want Haden knowing that the cake is from me anyways."

"And why is that?"

"It's...complicated."

"Ah, I see. Well okay then, I'll call your mother. I still have her number from last time."

"Last time?"

"Yeah, your mother came here several times before to get the same cake for Haden's birthday every year." 

"Oh, I see. So this wouldn't be any different from the times my mother got him his cake before."

"Y'know you could probably personalize it to make it different from your mother's."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you can write something on it if you want." 

"I mean, you could just write, Happy Birthday Haden."

"Are you sure that's all you want to say?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you like him."

"What the hell?"

"I see how your eyes sparkle every time you mention his name. And from the very start, when you two were little, you were always happiest by his side."

"So you're telling me, you think I liked him since we were younger? For 10 years?"

"Yes."

If what he's saying is true, then 10 years ago, when I said I didn't want Haden to be my brother, it was because I actually wanted to date him? Was it even possible for a kid to develop such strong feelings for someone? 

"You should say how you feel with this cake." the baker continued.

"Yeah, but my mom will see the cake." 

"Well, I still think you should write what you feel. I'll just go with the simple 'Happy Birthday Haden.' Guess it won't be so different from your mother's after all."

"Wait, I'll just stick a letter on it or something."

"Ah, that sounds nice."

"You think so?"

"Yes, it is perfect!"

"Alright then."

And so I wrote a letter, confessing my feelings for Haden. I gave it to the baker afterwards and paid him before heading back to school. I felt so relieved after writing that letter, maybe this would all turn out well.

•♡•

Taylor headed back to school feeling at peace with his troubled feelings and Haden was still in class, thinking about what that hug meant earlier. By the time class ended, Haden was conflicted by his emotions. He wasn't sure if he should be hanging out with Taylor so much because they may not harbor the same feelings for each other.

While he continued to question their relationship, he had bumped into a random girl and found Scarlette Rosales standing in front of him. While he may not be a social butterfly, he was very aware of the popularity status at their school. 

"I'm so sorry." 

"Hey, you look familiar."

"W-we never talked before."

"Are you sure? I could've sworn I saw you hugging my man."

"Y-your man?"

"Taylor Fernsby, he's my boyfriend. Tell me, why is a popular guy like him hanging out with someone like you? You're just some pathetic loner."

"Taylor is your boyfriend? I'm sorry if I've caused any trouble in your relationship."

"Oh, you've caused trouble alright. He hasn't been paying attention to me because he's been busy hanging out with you. Don't get the wrong idea, you two are not friends. He's just helping you out because he feels bad for you. He doesn't like you, he pities you. You're just some charity case."

"But I've known him for 10 years, he would never do anything like that."

"10 years? Not once has he mentioned your name when we were dating. What even is your name?"

"It's Haden." 

"Haden. Sounds like a poor person's name. Stay away from him."

She smirked then laughed in Haden's face and started walking away so confidently. He really did not expect to come face-to-face with the school's queen bee so soon. She was much more intimidating than he had anticipated. Haden started questioning if what she said was really true. Was Taylor just being nice to him out of pity? He didn't want to think it was true but the reasoning seemed so plausible. He started to think that he probably was just a charity case. 

While these thoughts were running through his mind, he had missed a few calls and messages from Taylor. They all were asking where Haden was and telling him where to find him. Haden really didn't feel like walking home with him so he lied.

Haden: I'm staying after school for tutoring. You can head home already, if you want.

Taylor: Wdym, I thought we were going home together ;-;

Haden: I'm fine walking by myself. Don't worry about me.

Taylor: Okay then, I'll tell my mom that you're gonna be a bit late.

Haden: Thanks, I'll see you later.

Taylor: See ya buddy :)

Haden felt guilty lying to him but it was for the best. He still couldn't help but feel a tinge of sorrow and...jealousy? He ignored it and decided to kill some time by studying ahead for the final exams coming up. 

Meanwhile, Taylor was questioning what happened to Haden. Something must've come up to make him change his mind at the last minute. Then again, it isn't unlike him to stay after school, especially with the exams coming up. He knew he had to study for those too, but those were in 2 months, and prom was around that time too.

He wondered if he should take Haden to prom. He didn't care what people would think, it would just be nice to take him to his first social gathering. Even though Haden would be surrounded by strangers, at least he knew he'd be by his side the entire time. He felt much more confident about his feelings for him after writing that letter. Tomorrow was the day where everything would change. 

•♡•

I woke up at 5am today, just like usual. Only I had woken up to a teddy bear sitting at the foot of my bed. I read the card attached to it. It read: Happy Birthday Haden! From your buddy, Taylor. I forgot it was my birthday today, I'm surprised Taylor gave me something. I'm even more surprised that he remembered my birthday. Still, I should avoid him so I don't anger Scarlette even more. 

I got up from bed and started my daily routine except today was different because breakfast had been made already. Standing in the kitchen was none other than Taylor himself. I was completely taken aback by all these sudden gestures. He was doing so much and all because it was my birthday?

"Hey Haden! I decided I should cook breakfast for us today since you've been doing it for us for so long. Thought you'd deserve the day off, especially since it's your birthday."

"Oh, thank you."

He pulled a chair out for me and I sat down at the table. He had put a fancy cover on the food like they do at restaurants, which I found kind of ridiculous yet endearing at the same time. 

"Today we have eggs and sausage, because that's the only thing I know how to cook," Taylor laughed, " I know it isn't as great as what you cook every morning, but-"

"It's great, Taylor. You really don't have to do so much for me."

"Of course I do, it's your birthday! You deserve so much for all that you've done for this family."

I felt uncomfortable with all this affection from him. Was Scarlette right? Was he just doing this out of pity? I can't let him do this to himself. He has to remember the type of person he is. He's Scarlette's boyfriend and he hates me.

"Please stop being nice to me."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Stop doing this out of pity. You don't like me."

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard everything from Scarlette."

"Scarlette? When did you two meet?"

"That doesn't matter. You're doing all this out of pity. You're talking to me and protecting me out of pity. You don't like me, you like Scarlette."

"Haden-"

"Please leave me alone. I'm walking to school by myself today."

I got up from my seat and grabbed my backpack. I left the house out of sadness and guilt. I didn't think I could do such a thing to someone. It had to be said though. He can't keep lying to himself like this. 

I started to cry the farther I walked away from the house. I'm not worthy of being pitied. If bad things happen to me, it's for a reason. Taylor can go back to living his perfect life, back when I wasn't in it. 

•♡•

What the hell did Scarlette tell Haden? I can't believe she did this, she really went as far as to drag him into this. If she was trying to get my attention then she got it. I still didn't want to let Haden walk on his own, but he clearly needs some space so I'll give him that. I feel bad for him, that he has to go through this on his birthday. I'll explain everything to him later, but right now, I have to head to school and talk to Scarlette. 

After several drafts of what I was going to say to her, I had arrived at the school. I forgot how crowded it gets in the early morning. I headed straight to the cafeteria because I was sure as hell Scarlette would be there. 

When I arrived, she and her friends were talking amongst themselves but I didn't  care if I looked angry in front of them. They had to know that something was wrong. 

"Oh hey babe."

"Get your ass over here."

I dragged her to a corner of the cafeteria, being outside would defeat the purpose of the message I was trying to send.

"What did you say to Haden?"

"Haden? Who's that?"

"Don't play dumb with me."

"Fine, I saw you two hugging and y'all looked a bit too comfortable. Friends, my ass."

"What are you doing dragging him into this? He doesn't deserve to be a part of any of your drama. He's been through enough as it is."

"Do you even know who that loner is? He said he knew you for 10 years, that's pathetic."

"He did, he was my first friend until...I said something that sounded wrong."

"Oh, what did you say?"

"I'm not telling you. Just leave him alone. Now tell me what you told him."

"Oh, I just told him you were pitying him and stuff, and that you two aren't really friends. You know the usual stuff a popular guy does with a loner like him."

"That is not what's going on between us. We didn't speak for 10 years and I genuinely feel guilty for not being there for him."

"Guilt is for suckers. He doesn't deserve your guilt. I bet he hates you after what you said to him."

"I think so too. That's why I'm trying to make it up to him. I'm trying to be his friend because I want him to be in my life. Ever since he came, I've been happier and I've been doing a lot better academically. He's a role model to me, he's literally so perfect at everything except for dealing with his emotions. I know he's struggling internally. I know he thinks I'm just using him as a charity case, but you telling him that made it worse because he's gonna really believe it now. He's emotionally unstable and I want to fix that because it's what he needs. We complete each other because we both fix each other in ways you can't possibly understand. You're just a coldhearted snake."

"Oh my god, you're in love with him. Well thank you for that bit of information."

"And what are you gonna do now?"

"Blackmail you. See, if you don't go to prom with me, then I'll tell the whole school your little secret. That you're a fag in love with an apathetic loner. You know he won't ever love you back if he's such a weirdo."

"There is no way I'm letting you tell anyone that."

"That's what I thought. So...do we have an agreement?"

"Fine, if that's what it takes to get you off Haden's back."

"Good. I'll send you the details of what to wear. You're gonna be matching with me."

She kissed my cheek and left to go back to her friends.

I can't believe this is happening now. How evil can someone be to use a person's own emotions against them? What's gonna happen to Haden now? How is his birthday gonna go? Oh my god, the cake. Crap, mom is getting it too. I hope she doesn't read the letter. I can't let Haden read the letter today, it'll only put more pressure on him. Who knew the day could be ruined so quickly? I should probably look for Haden, even if he doesn't want to see me right now. I still gotta make sure he's okay.

I searched throughout the campus for Haden's whereabouts, but I couldn't find him anywhere. I tried every possible place where he could be at, but he was still nowhere to be seen. I shouldn't text him, but I had to. I was getting really worried. What's worse is that I couldn't ask anyone if they'd seen him because it's like he was invisible to this school. Maybe he went back home, I'll just call mom. At the same time, I can ask about the cake.

"Hello?"

"Hey Taylor!"

"Hi mom, is Haden home?"

"Uh no, he did text me saying he'd be home a bit late."

"Really? Did you ask where he was going?"

"Well no, I just assumed he was with you."

"Oh my god, mom, I can't find him. And it's his birthday today! Speaking of which, did you get the cake?"

"Yes, I did."

"Did you open the box?"

 "No, the baker told me not to because it'll spoil much quicker that way."

Thank the baker for saving my ass.

"Okay, well do you think I should look for Haden?"

"No, I trust him. He's a responsible boy. Just come home and we'll wait until he gets home so we can cut the cake."

"Okay then, I'll see you later."

"Alright honey, love you."

"Love you too, mom."

I hung up and my thoughts were still all over the place. I wish I had the same trust as my mom did towards Haden. It's not that I didn't trust him, I was just so paranoid that something bad happened to him. I can't believe Scarlette managed to ruin this entire day. Hopefully, Haden does come soon because this situation is scaring me.

I started walking back home and remembered that I still had to hide that letter because it really wasn't an appropriate time for Haden to read it. I started walking a bit faster now since the sun was starting to set. It's almost dark out and Haden was out there, somewhere, by himself. Where the hell could he be? This really wasn't an ideal day for him to suddenly disappear. I got home and instantly went to the fridge to open the box.

There it was, the letter. It was embroidered into the cake with fluffy white icing. The words "Happy Birthday Haden!" were written across the letter. Crap, taking out the letter would ruin the whole cake, but I still removed the letter. I hid it in the pocket of my jacket and decided to redo the words on the cake. Luckily, my mom has icing lying around for when she bakes sweet treats for Haden. The issue here is that I have messy handwriting. I can't ask my mom for help because she'll be suspicious, so I guess I gotta try my best cursive handwriting.

After nearly taking a careful 20 minutes, I finished the design and it looked pretty decent. Maybe this was my way of making it different from the ones my mom usually got him for his past birthdays. Right as soon as I finished, Haden came in and I've never been so relieved in my entire life.

•♡•

Haden walked into the house after taking some time to himself to visit his old house. After what happened in the morning, he decided to not go to school for the first time. After thinking about how Taylor's life was without him, he went back to his old house to remember how his life was without Taylor. Sure, he was raised by a loving family in a supportive household, but he was still alone. He barely had anyone to play with because he was a very introverted child. He took time to remember and embrace the memory of when he and Taylor first met.

Haden and Taylor's mothers were the best of friends, they had known each other since high school. When they both gave birth to sons, they decided it would be good if they had met each other at a young age so they could grow up together. So as soon as they went into kindergarten, they were enrolled in the same class.

When they first met, they were completely indifferent to each other seeing as they were complete opposites from the start. It took a little school project for them to finally talk to each other.

    "Okay, I will be calling out your partners now." the teacher said one day.

    As she named off the student pairs, everyone was looking at their friends in hopes that they'll end up together. Meanwhile, Haden had no one to look for because he barely talked to anyone. However, someone was looking for him. 

And suddenly the teacher called, "Haden Sallow and Taylor Fernsby, you two are partners."

    Haden looked around, trying to find Taylor, but he had never seen a Taylor in his life. Suddenly a boy with brown hair and green eyes and caramel skin was sitting in front of him.

"Hi, my name is Taylor. You must be Haden."

Haden just stared at him in awe. He looked so cool, how can he be friends with someone like him?

    "H-hi, I am Haden."

    "Good, we're friends now!"

    "How did you know what I look like?"

    "I know everyone's name in class. You know, I always thought you were cool. Every time the teacher would call on you, you'd always get the answer right! You're so smart."

    "T-thank you."

    "No problem buddy! Okay, let's start on our project together!"

    "O-okay."

The two boys worked on their project together and formed a fast friendship from there on. After school when their mothers picked them up, they were delighted to see that the kids instantly took a liking to each other.

"Hey kids, I see you two have met each other." Taylor's mom said.

"Yeah! Haden is super smart!" Taylor exclaimed.

"And Taylor is super cool! He remembers everyone's names!" Haden added.

"That's great, sweetie!" Haden's mom said, "But do you guys wanna know a secret?"

"Yeah!" Haden and Taylor exclaimed in unison.

"Your mother and I are best friends!" Haden's mom said as she hugged Taylor's mom.

"Wow, that's so cool! We're friends and our moms are friends too!" Taylor exclaimed.

"Yeah, that means we can hang out all the time!" Haden said.

Both moms laughed with pure bliss and from then on, Haden and Taylor became inseparable until reality hit their lives and ruined their childhoods. Taylor's parents were going through a divorce and Haden's parents were on the verge of being evicted from their house. 

Taylor's parents had very different views for their son's future. Taylor's father actually inherited a large fortune and he wanted his son to carry on the family name while his mother preferred he lived an ordinary life because then he was likely to be raised as a brat.

Haden's parents had gone under an immense stress, which had taken a toll on his father first. After his father died, it ended up leaving Haden's mother with more stress as a single mother. She didn't live much longer because she ended up in a car accident. 

The day that Haden's mother died was when the divorce was finalized for Taylor's parents. His mother won full custody of him and the father was to never be seen again. After hearing the news, Taylor's mother ran to Haden's side so he wouldn't be alone during this time of despair. From then on, Taylor took Haden in as her own. However after having an argument with her son, she had noticed that the boys lost connection.

Ever since then, she became desperate to get them back together because she didn't want them to grow up alone. No matter how hard she tried, neither wanted to be around the other for long. She didn't know what caused the sudden disconnection, but all she could do was hope that someday, the two will finally come together again.

As Haden saw Taylor hovering over, what looked like, his birthday cake, he broke down in tears realizing what his life would be without him. He no longer wanted to take his affection for granted. It was clear that he wasn't being nice to him out of pity, he was his friend and his only friend. He ran to hug Taylor and decided to finally embrace the emotions growing inside of him. He would be absolutely nothing without him.

"I'm so sorry, Taylor. I'm sorry for doubting your kindness towards me. I'm sorry if you worried about me while I was gone. I wasn't thinking about the people who care about me, I was being selfish and I sincerely apologize for that. I feel like such an idiot."

"Hey buddy, calm down. It's fine, you're here now and that's what matters. It's your special day today."

"D-did you do the frosting yourself? I can kinda recognize your handwriting."

Both boys laughed with endearment and Taylor's mother came in to sing happy birthday. While they were singing, Haden couldn't help but realize that his feelings for Taylor were far past friendly now. He doubted anything could happen between them now since Scarlette was in the picture. As the song was near its end, Haden thought of what he would wish for and when the time came, he already knew what it would be.

He wished for the best to Taylor and Scarlette's relationship.