An Appropriate Match

Translated by XephiZ

Edited by Aelryinth

"Where is it?" Zhou Ze asked.

"Xinfa Residential Area, a man and his daughter were walking the dog, I remember it," the woman said confidently. "I knew the man too, I even argued with him! He was trying to flirt with me!"

Zhou Ze frowned and reminded the woman, "If you are trying to trick me and use me to get your revenge, I'll make sure that you can't even stay around as a ghost."

"Of course not, brother. Even though I'm dead, I'm still a kind soul. You can go ahead and ask around in the area if I, Sister Hong, was a kind person."

Zhou Ze waved his hand, signaling the woman to keep quiet.

The girl had no clue who Zhou Ze was talking to. Zhou Ze was speaking very softly too, like he was murmuring to himself.

"I heard a friend once mention that she had seen a dog like yours in the Xinfa Residential Area. You can try your luck there," Zhou Ze said.

"Really? Alright, I'll be on my way," the girl said, and took out her purse to pay the money.

"It's fine, don't worry about it."

"Just take it, a token of appreciation for your information." The girl forced the five hundred yuan into Zhou Ze's hands.

"You can pay after you find the dog," Zhou Ze was unwilling to take the money.

"Alright, thanks." The girl wiped her tears away and left the bookstore.

"Such a good lass." The woman was still sitting on the floor.

"You can leave, too."

"Brother, it took me so long to find a person who can hear me, can't you just talk to me for a second?" The woman seemed as if she had been suffering for a long time.

"I'm busy." Zhou Ze returned to the counter and continued to trim his nails.

"Brother, I'm afraid your bookstore doesn't really have any customers considering the spot it's in?" The woman was still trying to find a topic of conversation.

Zhou Ze suddenly remembered something. He asked, "Do you want to go down there?"

"Down there?" the woman was startled. She did not seem to realize what Zhou Ze was referring to.

"To a place where you are supposed to be," Zhou Ze suddenly recalled that he was a part-time envoy of Hell now.

"Can I not go down there?" the woman said hesitantly, "My son is taking his entrance exam. I'm thinking of staying until he's done with it."

The cost of being parents...

"I bet your son would break out in tears if he knew his mother who had passed away was staying with him when he was studying for the exam," Zhou Ze teased her.

The kid might not break out in tears, but it was very likely that he would fall sick from the great scare and ended up failing his exam.

"I just want to stay with my son," the woman said helplessly.

"Whatever." Zhou Ze waved his hand. He could not care less about the woman. The little girl already mentioned that he could do as he pleased unless he insisted on crossing the line and interfering with the living world.

Besides, the little girl did not really give him a target, like how many ghosts to catch, that he had to meet every month.

"Brother, how did you become a human?" the woman asked curiously.

Zhou Ze frowned slightly.

The woman immediately shuddered. She did not dare to say a word further.

------

Fifteen minutes later, the woman mentioned that her son was almost done with his evening self-study at the school. She left the bookstore. 

Zhou Ze purposely went over to the stool that the woman was previously sitting on, but he did not find a single piece of joss paper on it.

"She sure knows how to get by in life," Zhou Ze exclaimed. -Was I being too kind there?-

He was at least working as a part-time envoy of Hell, making him an official of the 'government'. Did the woman seriously come in empty-handed? Did she really not treat him as an official just because he was working temporarily?

Zhou Ze went outside and lit up a cigarette. Xu Qinglang just happened to be done with his cleaning. He came out in an apron. He looked at Zhou Ze, crouched down beside him and asked for a cigarette.

The two were lined up in a row. Behind them was the shopping mall that was basically deserted, and in front of them was an empty street.

"Did the little girl's mother come and pick her up?" Xu Qinglang asked.

"She went down," Zhou Ze said.

"Oh, she went down..." Xu Qinglang let out a sigh, "Isn't it difficult to come back after going down?"

"I don't know," Zhou Ze shook his head.

As the little girl had mentioned, he only took a little stroll on the Yellow Spring Path before coming back to the living world. He had yet to experience what Hell was like.

"What does Hell look like?" Xu Qinglang took a puff of the cigarette and asked.

"I'm not sure, either."

The two had run out of topics, yet it was too boring to just go back to their shops. They proceeded to light up a second cigarette after they were done with the first one.

"Where's your wife?" Xu Qinglang just had to touch the sore spot.

"We separated," Zhou Ze twisted his lips.

"Mmm."

Silence again.

They proceeded to smoke a third cigarette.

"I will be paying my hometown a visit soon. I will make some plum juice for you tomorrow."

"Thanks, you're not from around here?"

"I'm from Menhai."

Menhai was a little town on the outskirts of Tongcheng.

"One of my cousins is getting married. To be honest, I don't feel like going, but I have to. After all, he's someone that I once shamelessly went up to a bridegroom to ask for red packets with back in the day. We were that close when we were young."

"So you're going to be a bridesmaid?" Zhou Ze asked.

"Yeah, a bridesmaid..." Xu Qinglang soon rolled his eyes, "It's best man, thank you."

"Were you married in your previous life?" Xu Qinglang suddenly asked.

"Nope," Zhou Ze answered.

"So you got yourself a wife for free then."

"But she didn't want to sleep..." Zhou Ze suddenly paused in the middle of the sentence.

The obsession, Xu Le's obsession, it was still here! That must be it!

"Just focus on staying alive, then. My parents are gone. I've thought it through, too. I've already grown up, it's time for me to pursue my life. Perhaps I'm going to get a girlfriend soon."

"A boyfriend, more likely," Zhou Ze took a puff of the cigarette before giving the stab.

"Hehe, I've been thinking about what my wedding was going to be like since I was young. What style it was going to be, how it was going to be held, how we are going to show up..."

"Isn't that something that a girl would think about?" Zhou Ze asked.

"Why can't a man look forward to his wedding too? Just shut your mouth, or no plum juice for you tomorrow!"

Zhou Ze nodded. -Fine, I'll shut up.-

"I was thinking of an ancient-style wedding, the kind during the old times. I don't need a limousine. I want a palanquin with eight people carrying it, like the ones in the movies. I will rent a horse and wear a Hanfu. Can you imagine it?"

{TL Note: Hanfu is a kind of traditional Chinese clothing.}

Zhou Ze pointed forward and said, "Something like that?"

Xu Qinglang was startled. He squinted and asked, "Like what?"

"You can't see it?" Zhou Ze asked.

Xu Qinglang straightened his face. He quickly went back to his restaurant and returned with something shiny. He rubbed it against his hands and wiped his eyes. He soon let out a cry.

A red palanquin carried by eight porters was slowly moving toward them on the deserted street.

The porters had red strings tied to their waists and red miters on their heads. They were moving perfectly in sync.

They would take nine shallow steps and one deep step every cycle. As such, the palanquin would rise a little, and the porters, along with the two suona players leading the way, would hop every cycle.

{TL Note: A suona is a Chinese instrument, also called a laba or haidi.}

It was supposed to bring a festive mood, but the sudden scene on the deserted street was oddly terrifying.

Xu Qinglang dropped his jaw. He was lost in thought for a second.

"Is she your wife?" Zhou Ze pointed at the palanquin.

"Bullshit," Xu Qinglang took a few steps back, making his way toward his restaurant. He yelled when he saw Zhou Ze still crouching in front of his bookstore, "What are you doing? It's a ghost bridal party!"

"Are they going to throw embroidered balls at us?" Zhou Ze patted on his legs and slowly rose to his feet.

"They will force you to be the ghost's groom if they catch you," Xu Qinglang said with a cold harrumph, "Do you want to be the owner of a bookstore or the groom of a ghost?"

"That serious?" Zhou Ze was a little surprised. The ghosts he had encountered so far were not particularly capable or influential.

If the ghost in the palanquin could abduct a person's soul to be her groom, was he supposed to intervene?

He could turn a blind eye at the woman from before since she would most likely leave and report herself to Hell after her son was done with the entrance exam, but considering the ostentatious display before him, the ghost was clearly not as simple as the ones he had stumbled into so far.

Zhou Ze stayed in the open. Xu Qinglang had gone into his restaurant. He glanced at the runic papers he had attached to the walls, but he was still a little uneasy. He snapped furiously when he saw Zhou Ze still standing on the street, "You're just a rookie ghost, you have no chance against her! Just back away, and she might leave you alone."

Zhou Ze did not move still. Somehow, he could feel the mark on his palm burning a little, as if it was warning him that he was obliged to send the ghost before him to Hell. Otherwise, it would disrupt the order of the living world.

When Zhou Ze let the woman go previously, the seal had tacitly accepted, since it did not react. However, the seal had reacted this time.

It turned out that it was not easy to replace the little girl, even if it was only temporary. If something was to happen, he would have to take the blame, since he was not doing the job right.

Zhou Ze had found himself in an awkward position!

The bridal party stopped around ten meters away from Zhou Ze. Two of the porters flipped the curtain of the palanquin open. It was empty inside.

One of the men playing a suona approached Zhou Ze and bent forward when he was a meter away. 

"The lady heard that Your Excellency has been promoted recently. She has asked us to invite you over, to treat you a meal as a way of congratulating you."

The man was quite handsome, but his skin was extremely fair. His cheeks and his lips were overly red, too. He looked like a paper doll.

"You're an Envoy?" Xu Qinglang walked out of his restaurant. It was like the poor Uncle Sam next door was suddenly promoted to village chief.

"You shouldn't forget your friends when you become rich! Why didn't you tell me about it?" Xu Qinglang came over and complained, but his soft, soothing voice said otherwise.

"May I ask Your Excellency a question?" the suona man bent forward and said respectfully.

"Feel free to say it, he's basically in charge of this area!" Xu Qinglang immediately acted bossily and took the matters into his hands on behalf of Zhou Ze.

"Apart from the invitation to Your Excellency, the lady has also asked us to find a man to be her groom. According to her, the man has over twenty properties in the living world. He is surely an appropriate match for the lady. May I ask if Your Excellency knows where he is?"

"..."