Dungeon Dive (Pt. 2)

I stepped out of the library, heading to go on a crusade against the skeletons just to relieve some of my anger.

I began walking down the massive pathway the lead downwards but ended up seeing something I wasn't expecting to see: A dead end.

I tilted my head in confusion at the dead end, knowing full well that a dungeon does not include just a library.

I decided to approach one of the walls to see if there were any secrets or tricks hidden in it, but I was surprised by what happened when I lightly touched the wall.

As I touched the wall, a large crack showed itself over several bricks.

I decided to touch the wall once again, and the same thing happened.

'So the bricks on this wall are extremely brittle... Good to know.' I mentally commented.

I pressed on the wall harder, and the bricks practically disintegrated, falling apart into what looked like dust.

'Huh... How old does a place have to be for that to happen?' I asked myself.

{Very.}

'Good to know.' I replied dryly.

I continued to feel around and realized that the wall was almost entirely made of the brittle bricks.

I decided to continue breaking through the wall and walked forward as the wall crumbled around me from even the slightest pressure.

-A few minutes later-

'Gods, how far does this wall go?'

{Very.}

I simply sighed.

"Is that all you are going to say?" I asked.

{Very.} They responded in an affirming tone.

I sighed once more and pushed forward again.

And the wall finally ended, leading me into a large room with several other paths leading out of it.

I took a deep breath after stepping into the room, only to immediately descend into a coughing fit.

"So... So much dust..." I wheezed out. "Why... Is there so much dust in the air?"

I ended up coughing my lungs out for a few more seconds, before coming to a stop.

I looked around the room and noticed a very thick layer of dust coating the entirety of the room.

"Right... Ancient dungeon that's several centuries old." I muttered. "But how long does it take for this much dust to settle?"

{Very.}

I sighed in annoyance.

"Is that all you are going to say?" I asked.

{Very.} They answered in an affirming tone.

"Dear god I have a pokemon in my head now..." I said with a groan.

{Very very?} The Gods asked with a mocking tone.

"I hate you." I said. "But you should know that by now."

{Very.}

I was going to continue complaining, but I was cut off by a figure entering the room.

I heard the sound of metal clanking against stone, and turned to the source to see a skeleton wearing red armor stride into the room.

"Oh so that's what a skeleton looks like." I said as soon as I got a good look at the skeleton.

It hears my voice and turns to look at me without making a sound.

I stared into the cold lifeless eyes of the skeleton and had only one thing to say.

"Oh you are one creepy looking motherfucker."

It did not reply, and simply walked towards me, the clanking of the metal on stone and bone louder than ever.

"well I guess that's one way to respond to me... complimenting you?" I said unsurely.

I pulled out my sunfury and prepared to throw the flail at the skeleton, but was instead cut off by something that caught me off guard.

A few seconds after the skeleton bean staying towards me, it seemed to step onto something and triggered a trap.

My eyes widened considerably as the wall seemed to simply manifest a massive ball and chain that slammed into the skeleton, grinding the thing to dust instantly.

I stared at the scene in shock before speaking to nobody in particular.

"I- What- how-" I stammered. "What the fuck was that!?"

{Very very very, very very.} The Gods said in an informative tone.

"Thank you for telling me." I deadpanned.

As I was staring at where the skeleton had been obliterated, I noticed a flicker of light, as if there was something reflective on the ground.

I walked over to the location cautiously and looked at the ground to see a golden key.

'How did this even flicker in the light?' I wondered. 'The only lighting here is this blue candle and a poorly made lamp.'

I turned to look at the blue candle before picking it up.

"This actually looks pretty nice." I said. "I wonder what it is."

[Water candle

Holding this may attract unwanted attention]

I stared at the candle with interest before considering the description.

I waved it off, saying "What's the worst that could happen?"

And then it hit me.

I had just said that out loud, a taboo amongst questions when it comes to adventure.

"Oh I just fucked up, didn't I?" I asked rhetorically.

{Very.} The Gods said affirmingly.

As soon as the Gods answered my rhetorical question, I heard what my words had caused.

A sheer cacophony of clattering bones and metal, all heading in my direction.

"Oh great." I said in annoyance. "Now I have an army of the undead after me.

I stared at the pathways leading into other rooms, and said one thing:

"This day couldn't get any better."

And then there were muffled coughs. From someone other than me.

I looked around the room, and saw nothing that would cough like that, but then caught sight of a sliver of bright red behind a piece of furniture covered with a tarp.

I moved the piece of furniture away and found that the sliver of red was actually a giant wrench on the back of a bound person with ginger hair.

"I shouldn't have said anything." I said, earning an indignant sound from the bound person, along with what seemed like a long string of angry curses at me.

I decided to remove the rope covering their mouth and was greeted with several more curses.

"You fucking prick! I have been tied here for Gods knows how fucking long and you wanted to leave me in this dusty fucking shithole you ass?!" She yelled at me.

I tilted my head in faked confusion. "Pretty much, yeah."

"You mother-"

-Technical difficulties, please stand by-

"-And you can go rot in the pits of the stomach of whatever creature eventually eats your mutilated corpse!!!" She finished.

I stared at the girl in shock.

"That's quite the vocabulary you have there." I said with both shock and surprise.

She smiles smugly at me. "Thanks, I learned it from my dad."

"He must have been fun to listen to." I commented.

She nodded, and I decided to move onto something else.

"Well, I decided to tempt fate by saying that this day couldn't get any better, so let's see if it works again." I said, turning to the ginger who was still sitting down.

She looked at me as if I was an idiot when I said that.

I raised an eyebrow. "What, do you not know that good things come in threes?" I asked.

And then I realized it.

Bad things come in threes too.

And then there was a very loud roar coming from everywhere.

"You're not the smartest person around, are you?" She asked me.

I sighed. "at least I'm not the dumbest."

And then a massive skull began pulling itself out of the wall.

I looked at the skull and examined it.

{We decided to help you understand what mistake you just made.}

[Dungeon Guardian

hp 9999/9999

defense 9999

attack 1000]

I decided that now was not the best time to have an emotional rollercoaster, so I bottled it up for later, opting to simply untie the girl in front of me and hightail it halfway to heaven.

"Just so you know, we're probably royally screwed." I explained.

She turned to the skull before simply saying "Good to know."

And so we began running