Awake or asleep that is a question

When I am awake I am crying.

When I sleep I dream of dying.

Whether awake or asleep my mind attacks me.

What's better? Being stuck inside your own dark mind never being able to die, or to be detached from living with the option to die?

To be surviving your own brain but not feel like your living.

I see brightness around everyone, even when their sad the aura around them only slightly dims. But when I look at myself in the mirror I see distorted backgrounds and dull rough colors, attached to me.

It's hard to change an aura, but you can hide it.