Daoist_spider

These are thoughts collected when feeling extreme emotions. In no way are they everyday thoughts or opinions. This book is not suited for anyone under the age of 15. Warning this book depicts depression and/or suicidal thoughts. This book was made purely for the hope that the author can use this to cope. If you don’t like this genre or the book/topics make you uncomfortable. Leave while you still can. Basically it’s like a diary, I post this so I may find out about myself and hopefully learn something from it. I do not post everything on here and some of the chapters might be removed due to either sensitivity issues or me being unwilling to share the thoughts anymore. Grab a bag of tissues and a box of melodrama and we can all just cry this out.

When you’re angry. When you’re sad.

I can't stop crying today. Today I need a mask


I need a facade of happiness because today needs to be a joyful day I can't become burden to others today I feel as if everything's not ok I don't know whether to rage or cry i just have emotions that war.


If I choose to rage I will get sad depressed and disappointed that I felt the emotions of rage and destruction to the point of not wanting to get up. If I choose to not rage it turns into emotions of self pity and extreme negative thoughts. Both leave me drained as if I just took a final exam that I knew none of the answers on and they were all write out your personal answer questions. I still have tons of things to do but too much anxiety and none of the right mental mind-cap to do it. If I do anything productive right now it will either turn out extremely self criticism for me or really passive aggressive.


I feel like hiding beneath my bed and hoping the world can go away because I'm dealing with my own drama right now. I think I just spent 2 hours crying i feel like I want to be done with today but I need to do things so I will put on a mask and a smile and see how far I can do today without cracking my mentality again. I will try again.


To hate is to lose