a slight connection

"Thank you for waiting."

I turned to see Linc smiling brightly. He patted me on the shoulder, his hands were light, like a dentist's. Though, it could be because he's so thin, more like tiny.

"Do you want to grab dinner?' he asked, pointing at McDs.

I checked my phone to look at the time. "I live at the school dorm and we have a 10PM curfew." I said, more as an excuse not to ingest any fast food, or any food at all. I haven't been eating much lately, nothing taste good in my mouth.

However, it back fired as Linc's smile widened, exposing his perfect, pearly white teeth. "Me too! My room or yours ?"

I shrugged in response. I guess this is better than me staring at my walls alone. Yeah, a company will be good every now and then. I have been spending too much time alone and I was starting to fall in a pit. I couldn't swallow anything, I couldn't eat, I feel a hollow, empty feeling in my chest.

We bought food and started walking back. Alex's house was a few blocks away from McDs and there was no other way for us to avoid it. Linc chatted away as I surreptitiously looked over my shoulders, towards Alex's house hoping to see him, even the slightest of his silhouette. Just a small indication that he's around, he's at home, at the place where we have spent so much time together.

My mind was drifting once more, the sound of Linc's voice was starting to fade away. my eyes that were fixed towards Alex's house started to get blurry.

I snapped out of my trance and took a long pull from my cigarette. I wasn't really a heavy smoker, I just happened to pick up the habit.

I looked at Linc, a chatterbox, walking beside me, oblivious to the battle I had in my head. I wanted to talk to someone, to lessen the burden I had,

I could act all desperate and depressed but it doesn't change the fact that I missed Alex, but I was not strong enough, or courageous enough to walk to his front door and wrap my arms around him. All I could do now it was listen to Linc talk about his work and classes and smile in response.

[ A few blocks away, Alex was standing by his window, watching the people outside. He wasn't fairing well either. Although he was the one who suggested that he and Jason avoid one another for their own good, Alex was feeling regret. He liked Jason. He was sick with all the clingy girls, he was tired of acting straight; not that he hides the fact that he isn't. And for the sake of Jason, he would step back and let him, go, let him live a life the way he should. Jason's straight unlike him.

"Hey Jameson, if you were alive what would you do?" ha asked out loud, then he saw a pair passing by, his eyes glued to the one person, wearing shorts and plain white shirt with a cigarette stick between his lips, whose eyes also turned towards his house.]