Chapter 43: 2-13: Press

Disclaimer: Being neither British nor Japanese, it should therefore come as no surprise that I own neither Harry Potter nor Naruto, nor anything from their respective franchises.

Time marched on, and life at Hogwarts soon returned to the closest approximation to normal that was possible in such an environment. The Weasley family had, after some debate, chosen to allow their children to remain at Hogwarts rather than bring them home for a while in the wake of the diary. Their reasoning was largely that pulling them out of school would probably feed the castle's everpresent rumor mill, after which there was no telling what stories would take root regarding what had happened. Albus had, of course, announced to the student body that the Chamber had been found and Slytherin's monster slain in the course of rescuing a kidnapped student. It hadn't taken long for the children to figure out that Filius and Iruka had been involved, though there was still debate over whether Ginny or Harry (or possibly both) had been taken, as their absences had been noted.

Iruka had asked the Headmaster about his theories regarding the diary, but the response he got was less than informative. "There are several possibilities," the wizened wizard stated, "none of them pleasant. Amelia asked the same question several days ago, and I shall give you the same answer I gave to her: Unless and until more information presents itself to clarify the situation, I am not comfortable sharing what amounts to little more than vague hypotheses."

On the student front, given the apparent total lack of trauma counselors in Wizarding Britain, Iruka stepped in to give Ginny someone to talk to. As with Harry, Neville, and Hermione, he reached out to her and did his best to help her recover emotionally from her ordeal. With her parents' permission, he also began teaching her as he had the others, recognizing just how much the ability able to defend her own mind would help to repair her damaged self-respect. Knowing that most members of the Weasley family weren't especially good at keeping secrets, he got Albus, Xeno, and Pandora to vouch for the skills he'd be teaching without sharing too many details. They learned the broad strokes, that Iruka's lessons would help Ginny better protect herself physically and mentally, but accepted that the exact nature of the techniques taught were confidential. It wasn't entirely fair to trade on their still-fresh gratitude to help convince them, but fairness was for samurai, not shinobi.

In the group lessons, the Weasley daughter didn't remain an outsider for long: Her somewhat-lapsed friendship with Luna was quickly rekindled, and the four existing members of S.E.N. soon made it their mission to bring out the strong, vivacious girl their quirky blond friend had described. Ginny was obviously significantly behind the others, but that only seemed to light a spark of determination in her to catch up, and she proved herself an enthusiastic student with a natural aptitude for taijutsu that would likely see her surpassing some of her senpai in less than a year.

Ginny Weasley wasn't the only new face at S.E.N. meetings, either. Filius attended as long and as often as he could, even bringing along supplies to do some of his marking and lesson prep while he watched. After the second time, Iruka asked the Room to provide him with a suitable workspace so that he wouldn't be awkwardly trying to work in the vestibule. More than simply spectating, the Charms professor also eagerly sparred with Iruka, something Albus rarely had time to do, and contributed lessons on magical combat to complement those in taijutsu and bukijutsu. Even Iruka took part in this portion, having little more knowledge of magic than his students.

Amelia Bones had also observed an S.E.N. meeting alongside Albus shortly after the Chamber incident. She had been impressed by Iruka's demonstrations of ninjutsu, genjutsu, and shurikenjutsu; the taijutsu portion simply left her bemoaning the fact that "Muggle fighting" had been cut from the official Auror training programme by Minister Fudge. Her expression had turned sour when she saw just how much combat-oriented material was included in the children's' lessons.

"I felt similarly when Iruka first shifted the focus of his teachings at the beginning of this year," Albus had commented to her, "but he made a rather compelling argument as to why it was necessary. We know that Lord Voldemort is not nearly as dead as we might wish, and that he continues to make attempts on Mister Potter's life. To so utterly fail in killing a helpless babe is a stain he will feel compelled to expunge, and so Harry will remain a target until one or the other is permanently dead. Thus, it is essentially guaranteed that danger will continue to find the lad, and looking at this group I find it impossible to conceive of the other children willingly abandoning him to face that danger on his own. I wish more deeply than words can express that I could keep all of them away from such things, but alas it has already been proven that I cannot. With that fact in mind, I find that I cannot bring myself to object to them learning how to better protect themselves."

"I don't like it," Madam Bones had replied, "but neither can I fault the logic behind it. We'll just have to take it as inspiration to do our best to stop these problems continuing to fall on schoolchildren to resolve."

The only answer she received was a resolute nod.

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The other event of note following after the events of the Chamber was Lucius Malfoy's removal from the Hogwarts Board of Governors. He had apparently overplayed his hand in trying to push Albus out of the Headmaster position, even going so far as to make thinly-veiled threats against the families of those Board members not aligned with him. It was, as usual, nothing that could be proven or prosecuted, but it was clearly the final straw after numerous other offenses. Even Malfoy's allies on the Board distanced themselves from him, angry over the humiliation of having attempted to suspend the Headmaster for failing to resolve a problem immediately after it had been resolved.

This didn't mean that the 'former' Death Eater and his cronies no longer held any sway, but at least their hold had been loosened somewhat.

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Fortunately, the school year managed to finish without any other 'excitement', and the students returned home for the summer. Iruka took Harry to the Grangers' via Side-Along Apparition, to keep up the charade and hide his true residence from those who wished him ill. They did of course make a side-trip on the way, much to the displeasure of Harry's stomach, to quickly scan for any sort of tracking, eavesdropping, or locator spells. Filius had immediately understood the need when Iruka asked about learning the detection charms. There were no unwanted magics present, and the whole thing may have felt a bit over-the-top, but there were really only two kinds of shinobi - those that took reasonable precautions, and those that didn't live to make chuunin.

Unfortunately, the children hadn't even been home a week when Iruka made an unplanned trip back to Crawley, carrying that morning's Daily Prophet. His reason was on the front page, in an article whose headline screamed: LYING LOCKHART AND THE STOLEN STORIES!

Hogwarts' Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award Gilderoy Lockhart has a terrible secret, writes Daily Prophet investigative correspondent Rita Skeeter. Most of our readers are at least aware of the many heroic exploits recounted in his numerous books. What they are not aware of, however, is that all of these deeds have one thing in common:

None of them were carried out by Gilderoy Lockhart!

Yes, dear reader, you read that correctly! After receiving a tip from a reliable source, this reporter began digging into the background of the famed author, reading through his published works in detail and tracking down some of the people involved in the events described therein, and investigating the man himself. The pattern that emerged was as shocking as it was despicable: In nearly every case of Lockhart's supposed defeat of a Dark creature, evidence surfaced during the investigation indicating that another person, different in each case, had been the true hero (For a full listing of Lockhart's claimed deeds, turn to page 4). Many of these individuals had significant accomplishments both before and after the events in the relevant book, making it all the more plausible that they could have accomplished such deeds.

If they are the true heroes, then how can it be that none have raised objections to another wizard claiming credit for their accomplishments? None of them, it would seem, remember the events involved, and neither do most of those closest to them or to the deeds in question. Discovering the truth required extensive research and investigation, but has now been revealed: Each of these heroes has been subjected to Memory Charms!

Detailed examinations by experts in mental magics have found signs of significant memory modification in every witch and wizard that may be the real hero behind one of Gilderoy Lockhart's books. In fact, such signs were present in every witness who attested to Lockhart being the defeater of their respective Dark creature (among those consenting to examination, at least), indicating that their memories had been altered.

With answers as to who, what, where, when, and how, all that remained was to ask, "Why?" After speaking to a number of former schoolmates of the current Defense Professor, the answer became clear: Since at least the day he first set foot in Hogwarts as an incoming student, Gilderoy Lockhart has desired one thing above all else - fame. Those who knew him as a student can share many tales of his often outrageous attempts to garner praise and attention to himself (For a history of Gilderoy Lockhart's student years, turn to page 3).

We can only hope that a full investigation by the authorities will confirm the truth, and that this memory-stealing glory hound will not be allowed to continue among the vulnerable young students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (For questions about Gilderoy Lockhart's time as Professor of DADA, turn to page 2).

For details on the investigation that revealed Gilderoy Lockhart's deception, turn to page 5.

On its own, the article would have been worth discussing but not a matter of any urgency. What had Iruka truly worried was a piece on the paper's second page:

IS GILDEROY LOCKHART TRYING TO CORRPT THE BOY-WHO-LIVED?

By Rita Skeeter

Gilderoy Lockhart was hired by Albus Dumbledore as the latest Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry after the sudden death of his predecessor, Professor Quirinus Quirrell, under suspicious and mysterious circumstances. Before term had even begun, he was already working to sink his claws into Harry Potter, one of the few wizards who could compete with him in terms of fame, and the only such wizard still young and impressionable. During a publicity event in Diagon Alley last August, he sought out and forcibly grabbed the Boy-Who-Lived, barely twelve years old, and held him in place for a photo the poor child clearly did not want.

According to students subjected to his classes, Professor Lockhart started the year with a quiz to test his pupils' knowledge. Ordinarily this would be quite reasonable, as a way for a new teacher to tailor their lessons to what the students already know; ordinarily, the quiz would be about topics beyond said teacher. In what way does knowing Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite colour enable the children to fend off Dark creatures or wizards?

In his very first lesson, the 'Professor' unleashed a swarm of Cornish Pixies upon a classroom full of unsuspecting Second-Years. After attempting to demonstrate a spell that experts consulted by this reporter insist was either his own creation or simply imaginary, he promptly lost his wand to the Pixies and fled the room in terror, abandoning his students, one of whom ended up hanging from a chandelier. Following that disaster, all further classes simply took the form of dramatic retellings and reenactments of excerpts from Lockhart's books, with students standing in for the creatures involved.

"It was fun, at first," said one student who asked not to be identified (presumably for fear of being made to forget everything), "but none of the stories ever really taught us much of anything. I heard a couple of Fifth-years worrying if they were going to be able to pass their Defense O.W.L.s."

More sinister than mere incompetent teaching, however, was the man's interest in young second-year student Harry Potter. Multiple reliable sources have confirmed that, starting quite early in the term, the two famous wizards held numerous private meetings, described as 'tutoring sessions'. Given what we now know of Gilderoy Lockhart's actual capabilities and proclivities, questions must be asked about what exactly took place at these 'sessions': Was Lockhart truly teaching anything, and if so, what? What were his real motives? Was he merely getting close to the Boy-Who-Lived to further his own fame, or corrupting the young Potter into an apprentice at his twisted lifestyle? Perhaps he noted the fact that several respected experts in magical theory have posited that it was not Harry Potter, but Lily and/or James Potter who effected the defeat of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and thought the poor boy might already be taking his first steps toward stealing the accomplishments of others?

The article continued on, describing more examples of Lockhart's incompetence while hinting that he may have sought or even carried out inappropriate relationships with students, possibly covering them up with Memory Charms. It was a skillful work of character assassination and scandalmongering, the true forté of Rita Skeeter, but with a surprising amount of truth for the gossip journalist who usually didn't allow mere facts to get in the way of a good story (well, a salacious one at least). What worried Iruka was the fact that she'd brought Harry's tutoring sessions into things, which was why he was making haste to the Grangers' front door.

The door opened to reveal a slightly surprised Monica Granger. "Is everything all right, Professor?" she asked.

"There's a bit of an issue. Nothing dangerous," he reassured her, "but still something that could make trouble for Harry."

"Well then, I guess we should go rescue the lad from his summer homework for a while," Mrs. Granger replied with a welcoming smile as she beckoned Iruka into the house. "Is this something to do with today's Prophet?"

"You've read it?" She nodded. "Then you might as well join in. More minds on the problem wouldn't hurt."

"Makes sense. Do you want me to see if Wendell can get here too?" Monica asked. "He's at the surgery until one, then we'll be switching places for the afternoon."

"I don't think that'll be necessary," Iruka replied, "though if our response doesn't end up being too urgent it might be best to double-check our thoughts with him when he gets home."

Soon the two adults and two children were gathered around the kitchen table, with two copies of that day's Prophet laid out between them. "I think we can all agree that Lockhart's career at Hogwarts is finished," the chuunin began to a round of agreeing nods. "Unfortunately, they've dragged Harry's name into things as well. What we need to figure out is whether Harry should respond in some way, and if so, how."

Harry scowled in response. "Can't we just ignore it?" he asked. "Let everybody focus on Lockhart and forget about me for a while?"

"You're the one that took lessons in public relations," Hermione answered him. "Even if Professor Lockhart was a fraud at Defense, he clearly knows a lot about publicity, and since he's sort of the one to get you into this, it's only fair he help get you back out as well."

The bespectacled boy's scowl turned to a thoughtful frown. "He'd probably call this an attack, criticism I mean, and he said there are a few ways to deal with criticism: You can't just defend yourself, he said, since that makes you look defensive and just makes the attacker more believable. First option is to ignore it, but that only works if it's low-key, and you don't want to tell more people about it by responding to it. If you ignore a really public criticism, it turns it into- er, it tells people that, well, they can come up with their own explanations and stuff. Anyway, second response is to attack, make the criticism unbelievable to people by criticizing the person criticizing you, but that's dangerous since it can make you look mean and angry, so you have to be really careful how you use it and how often. Third was to apologize for whatever they say you did wrong, which makes you look humble and noble but also means you're basically admitting they were right, so it's not, well, you don't want to do it too often. Fourth is to laugh it off, make like the criticism is silly and ridiculous, so hopefully people will treat it that way and not listen to that particular thing in the future. He really liked using that one, since it let him show off his smile, plus he figured if he laughed at the same critic enough times, people would stop believing that person at all so they wouldn't be able to attack him any more. He did say that it can make people feel like you're laughing off their concerns, rather than the criticism, so that's the risk there. Fifth is to turn it around somehow, make something negative into something positive, or show people why the bad thing is actually good. Professor Lockhart said it's hard to do, and only really works sometimes, for some things, and it can make people feel like you're treating them like idiots if you do it wrong, especially if your explanation is stupid, but if you pull it off it makes you look better than you did before the criticism." Even after close to two years, Harry still shrunk back after such a long speech, still uncomfortable as the center of attention.

"Well," said Hermione, "the first option is out entirely, since this is already in the Prophet."

"The second seems like a particularly bad idea given the nature of the article," added her mother, "as does the fourth, especially since it's true that you have been taking private lessons from him."

"Skeeter isn't really saying you did anything wrong, per se," Iruka contributed, "so apologizing would probably be a bad idea too. That just leaves finding a way to explain to people why this was actually something good..."

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It had taken the group nearly an hour to hammer out the broad outline of a planned response, and another hour and a half to compose and refine said response. After consulting Wendell Granger upon his return home and incorporating a minor tweak he suggested, Iruka and Harry traveled to the Rook to consult the Lovegoods. Having the input of two adult magicals, one of whom was himself a publisher, Iruka returned Harry to the Grangers before making one final visit.

"I see," said Albus. "Under most circumstances, I would advise most strenuously against Harry making any kind of public statement, but having read both this missive and the article to which it responds, I do believe you may have a workable plan. As the public's attention is already on Harry to at least some degree, and this is merely a response, it should be safe enough. It also pleases me to know that Gilderoy at least managed to teach something during his time here." This last bit was said with an uncharacteristic bit of acidity.

Iruka let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. One hurdle passed. "With that in mind, can you think of any further refinements before we send this to the Prophet?"

The Headmaster shook his head. "I feel it is quite adequate, and those changes that I would make are more of style than of substance. Such a thing might possibly leave the final result more polished, but in this case it would perhaps be better to let young Harry's voice rather than mine be the one people hear."

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HARRY POTTER, IN HIS OWN WORDS

The following is, in its entirety, a letter sent to the Daily Prophet by none other than the Boy-Who-Lived himself, in response to yesterday's article regarding Gilderoy Lockhart's suspicious activities at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry:

To the Daily Prophet, and its readers:

I write this in response to yesterday's article by Rita Skeeter, which questioned the nature of my private tutoring sessions with Professor Gilderoy Lockhart. First and foremost, I wish to thank Ms. Skeeter for promoting the view I've held since I first learned the true story of my parents deaths: It was one or both of my parents who somehow defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and they were the true heroes of that night, not me.

Whenever I hear someone refer to me as the 'Boy-Who-Lived' I feel not pride, but sorrow, as I am once again reminded of the night I was robbed of any chance to truly know my parents.

Regarding my lessons with Professor Lockhart, shortly after the start of school he offered to advise me on the topic of public relations. As I was raised in the Muggle world, totally ignorant of magic, it came as quite a shock when on my eleventh birthday I found myself mobbed during my first visit to the Leaky Cauldron. Not only was there a hidden world of magic all around, but its people considered me some kind of celebrity - it was a lot to take in for a kid like me, and even now I'm still learning about my place in this world.

As much as I wish I could be just 'Harry', I realize that I'll probably not be able to escape the public eye any time soon. That was why I accepted Professor Lockhart's offer, since I've seen plenty of Muggle celebrities go from famous to infamous almost instantly. I needed to learn how to respond to questions about my character, such as yesterday's article, how to avoid making costly mistakes out of ignorance, and how to cope with the pressure of being watched and whispered about everywhere I go.

As far as the allegations against Professor Lockhart, I would prefer not to comment. Such investigations and judgments should be left to those older and wiser than myself.

I'm just an ordinary twelve-year-old wizard. I enjoy spending time with my friends and playing Quidditch. If I could, I'd gladly trade every bit of fame and affection I've gotten from being the 'Boy-Who-Lived' in exchange for having my family back. I know that can never happen, but I'd be content with just being able to live my life like any other witch and wizard - go to school, have fun with friends, and hopefully some day start a family of my own. If you want to celebrate anything about that Halloween night, celebrate the peace Wizarding Britain gained and remember those brave witches and wizards, my parents included, who sacrificed so much so that we could all have a brighter future.

Thank you for your indulgence.

Sincerely,

Harry James Potter

We at the Daily Prophet thank young Mr. Potter for his comments, and offer our best wishes to the young wizard going forward.

In his chambers at Hogwarts, Professor Gilderoy Lockhart set his copy of that day's Prophet aside with a proud, if slightly pained smile. "Well done, Harry my lad," he said softly to the empty rooms he suspected he would not occupy for much longer, "well done indeed."

A/N: Another monster of a chapter. I was originally going to just describe/summarize the articles in the Prophet, but once again had to remind myself: "Show, don't tell." That meant letting Rita loose, and she had a lot to say. Writing those articles was a challenge, too; I knew the general points I wanted to hit, but actually arranging them in a sensible order was tough. I hope I managed to pull off Wizarding Britain's favorite muckraker.

So, Ginny is joining S.E.N. - I'd planned on that for a while, originally intending to have S.E.N. include the full Ministry Six, possibly with Gred and Forge added in, but just couldn't find a way to make it happen. When planning the Chamber fight, I'd originally written it with Ron there, and thought about having the Twins and/or Percy along as well, but as the story worked out none of them got involved.

As far as how Rita came to be investigating Lockhart, well, I know who pointed her in that direction and why. Hopefully it'll become clearer to the reader in chapters to come.

Fic Recommendation: "Accio Butterflies" by tearlessNevermore - Normally I wouldn't touch a SI-OC fic with a 39.5' pole, but this one manages to keep the OC grounded and relatable (relatable to me, at least), having them influence events for the better without making things too easy.

Posted 21 October 2018

Current WIP Chapter: 68