Chapter Nineteen

Pavel

He punched the door of the cubicle mercilessly. He was too devastated by himself. He let his rudeness control him earlier while talking to Dome. All he wanted yesterday is to settle things with the pale man. But things got uncontrolled when he saw the article. All the words he wanted to say to the pale man vanished. He let him slip away when in fact, he had all the time earlier to confess and turn things right. He was really stupid!

The loud bang of the opening door made him stop. Tay and New entered with a shock face when they saw his bruised hands. He looked away and leaned his forehead to the door. He was too tired for what had just happened. He can't think of anything, all he wants is to escape through hurting himself. It feels right. Feeling the pain.

"Shia! What the hell has happened? We saw Dome running off the university." Tay began to ask.

'He ran off?'

"Maybe he was mad at Dome. Who wouldn't? Instead of fixing the issue, that guy just made everything more complicated. We all know that Pavel is straighter than a pole," New said. He whispered to Tay while shaking his head. He crossed his hands on his chest and tapped his foot on the floor.

'Made everything more complicated? Straight?'

Then an imaginary bulb light on his head. That's it! That makes everything clear for him, for Dome's question and for every action the pale man towards him. He was asking him what he is to clear out things between them. The sexual tension, the unexplainable feelings, the flirty looks to each other.

He smacked his head for being really dumb and numb.

"Don't worry, Ai. Dome cleared everything after. He was smart, I guess, to clear it with a class. He nailed it," Tay said. Both of his friends tossed their hands.

"D-Do you still have the article, no—I mean what he said about it?" He asked. Tay shoved him his cellphone.

His hands were shaking, he was too nervous for what he was about to read.

'First, the little girl is Pavel's niece. Second, yes, we're living together because I am his dorm mate. Third, to answer the question if we are together,my answer is maybe. There are many things we really need to clear out first but what I am sure is that we have something special. I hope you will stop now being nosy about us.'

The cellphone almost slipped out from his hands. He can't move his body, he was trembling to death.

'I'm a dumb ass for saying what happened last night was just a mistake!' He cursed internally. He was too shocked and didn't know what to say in front of the pale man so he just said it without thinking. He answered him wrong!

"Fuck! How can I solve this?" He groaned, ruffling his hair with annoyance.

"Simple. Just prove that the last statement of Dome was right. He already solved the issue. Just make it more—"

"I promise that I will not make him cry anymore. For sure, that stubborn pale man was indeed crying right now. Shit!" He didn't mind what New was saying. All he cared about was Dome. His Dome. His pale man.

"W-What? Are you kidding us? You're about to lose your reputation!"

"I don't care. Dome is more than my popularity. Believe me or not, I've fallen for a guy, and that is him. He makes my heart flutter, he makes me think that life is more precious than it was. He makes me believe not to miss the chance and grab it while it's here. And that's what I am going to do. I will not miss the chance of having him anymore," he said, with a determined voice.

"Pray for my soul, boys!" He said while patting their shoulders. 'Yeah pray for me because I know this is going to be hard. Dome is hard-headed.' He walked out the cubicle and left his shocked friends.

He tried to call Dome's cell phone but it was out of reach. He looked for him in their class but his friends told him that he cut his class.

'Where the fuck are you?'

Then it hit him. Dome really loves his personal space. He wanted to be alone all the time he was feeling unhappy or confused. Meaning, he locked up himself again. He's half-sure that he was in their dorm.

He quickly made his way to the dorm. There was no evidence of having someone there. He looked everywhere and still not got a glimpse of the pale man. His only option now is his room. He made a quiet walk. The room was not locked.

"Dome?" He asked in a whisper tone. He can't see anything at first because the room just had a little glimpse of light coming from the lampshade. He walked inside, still whispering for his name.

He almost squealed like a girl when he tripped on something. He realized it was a container of food. He searched for the switch and when it turned on, he saw a bloody and disgusting sight of the pale man's room. Foods were all over the floor. Dome was laying on the floor with his eyes closed. He tapped his legs using his own feet but Dome didn't flinch even a little.

He kneeled down near the pale man's head. He brushed his hair. Then it almost crashed into him when he saw that Dome's crying. There were dried tears on his cheeks. 'Deja vu' He leaned forward, using his thumb, he wiped those tears. He was cursing himself silently because he already broke his promise not to make him sad or cry.

Unaware of what he was doing, he leaned to the pale man's face. His hands consciously caressing the soft and pale cheeks. Suddenly, he feels something inside his chest, it was pumping hard like it was about to explode. The urge of kissing the man's under him makes his heart beat fast. Without a second thought, he pressed his lips on him. It feels so soft like cotton, sweet as candy. It's just a peck but he can't control himself. He was too engrossed in kissing him. His lips move gently, not wanting to wake him up. He was addicted to his lips. He wants to devour it like there's no tomorrow.

He gulped loudly when he saw the piercing eyes looking straight at him. His lips stopped moving, his eyes were fixed on the person's eye. It lasted for a minute. Dome pushed him hard and his ass met the hard floor. His hands were on the floor behind supporting him.

Dome's lips were swollen, it was wide open, even his eyes. "What the fuck are you doing?" He asked with a hoarse voice.

He can't find any words to answer.

"You're kissing me." It's a half-statement and half-question. Dome touched his lips with his forefinger.

"Umh. Am I?" Pavel's voice stuttered.

"You don't know what you are doing? You are just fucking kissing me while I am asleep. It's a sexual harassment!" Dome blurted out.

Dome was about to stand up but Pavel was way faster than him. He knocked down the pale man on the floor, he was hovering him. Their chests were touching and they almost felt the same rhythm of the pale man's heartbeat. Pavel's hand slowly pinning Dome's hand over his head.

"You're not trying to rape me, aren't you?" Dome asked. Pavel noticed Dome's tired face. His eyes were not as bright as the sun anymore, they were filled with many emotions that Pavel cannot figure out.

Pavel sighed. 'What the fuck I am doing?'

He loosened his grip. But his right hand caressed the cheeks of the pale man. Gently massaging it like it was a baby's face.

"I'm sorry." Pavel apologized after. Positioning himself between Dome's legs. He leaned his forehead to him and closed his eyes. "I don't know what's happening to me. All I know is that I need to confess to you something because if I didn't, I might lose my own mind." He tiredly said, as if begging to be understood by the other.