Chapter IX Back at One

If you have it in your heart,

You can hold it in your hands.

You just have to set your mind to it.

Time has passing fast, seasons have altered without one advancing to the senses. Especially if one's mind is preoccupied by a decision that affects herself and that of the other. Though it has been affirmed that she has nothing left to do but wait, this idea at present can be altered, when circumstance asked for it.

And it took a single day to know, realize and accept something.

Almost our elbows, touching each other, providing uneasiness down my spine, furnishes the convenience to have asked and clarify the gossip that was delivered to me by a common acquaintance. But the physical discomfort of sitting next to him is nothing compared to the mental discomfort of me losing to the Divine Providence. A mere human, cannot but compete to the Divine. Though many have ventured and have won, I do not have the courage and bravery in such a quest.

The imagination has drifted me away that I forgot I have to question him in that matter. The scratching of pen against a pad of paper has brought me back in my senses.

"Good for you, you have answered most of the questions already", Vance whispered, carefully enough not to get the attention of the instructor, unawfully worried in what was going on my mind, clearly, he did not know a thing or two. Am I just a game for him? Why did he not tell of his religious affiliation?

"I studied", replied I shortly, wondering how a person who can mentally answer a calculus problem have a difficulty in responding matters with not much of a challenge. Truly enough he, is still at the first page of the worksheet, whereas I'm at the last.

"I should have too", Vance added, feigning indifference, looking into the sheets with blank eyes, acting in a manner of a man with apparent weakness. An act unaccounted for. For what reasons, unstated, adding a question unanswered in my brain. Maybe stooping down in my level of comprehension. Letting me think that you are positively reacheable. A man within my reach. Maybe I gave the impression that I am to back away. You don't know why. We dont have the opportunity to talk. Yet.

Trying to pry away with the thoughts that of Vance, I faced the person just opposite mine, Jeremy, seemingly waiting for my eyes to stretch to his facial features, winked.

In which resulted to a loud laugh in my silly mouth. Great. Now I have everybody's attention. I didn't mind. I wanted to give myself a break from overthinking. Jeremy might have sensed it. In sync we might be, we finished with the exam at almost the same moment, together, Jeremy and I left the room with a gloomy aura coming out from Vance. Or its just me again, thinking, assuming.

"If only I didn't knew that you met us all at the same time, I might have think that you have known Vance for a decade or so, making me envious of him", Jeremy said with an air of jealousy lying beside him as we walk along, going to the students park, one of the place I mostly read a book, with him leading on, knowing where the path I wanted to go.

"How did you say so?", I can't help but to question him.

"It is all in the look, without even speaking the three of you seem to understand each other." Jeremy continued.

"I dont quite understand, three?" I added, with a glimpse of who is the third he is pertaining to. To confirm my suspicion he said,

"Eleanor," speaking her name with undeniable admiration. I was preoccupied that in a while I forgot her existence and the power she has to entranced men in her likeness. We left Vance with her. Nevermind, they are what they already are long before I enter in the scenario. The bond they have established are so intact that it cant be marred. The sheets cant be untangled.

"You speak highly of her, do you admire her?", I press on.

"You speak lowly of her, do you despise her?", Jeremy replied in a jest manner, trying to make it less offensive as the meaning of his words exactly conveys, satisfying his curiousity of the matter at hand, I replied

"I don't despise her, in fact I admire her, she is all a man would want for. Confidence in a right amount, intelligent enough but not too overbearing, and excessive beauty that a man wants to display infront of his friends, not to mention her benevolence."

"You envy her in a way, I shall speak of it if you permit", he insisted.

"Why should I not allow you to speak, when it is certain that it could in any way open my eyes, pray do speak."

"You do not envy her for her looks, or her countenance. You envy her for she met Vance first. Or even if you met him first would you have that kind of relationship with him as what they have now? A relationship binded by their compatibility that their incompatibility is not having a single difference. A strong friendship is what they have today, but with a little push, it shall turn more than so. You speak highly of her and lowly of yourself, you are just at a disadvantage, she came first and you dont give off a friendly air. Vance just the same", Jeremy supposed, with finality in his tone.

Opting to deny his theory, I pronounced, "If there is someone to despise, its not someone like Eleanor, her perfection is not a fault but a majesty to be admired upon, Vance it is. He is despicable. Who gave him the right to give off mysterious appeal when it does not suit him. Why would he try to look like he is not a nerd when assuredly he is one. But despite all that...." my message came to a pause as I heard loud footsteps walking away, in the direction of Jeremy's eyes I turn to, and saw the shadow of Vance along with Eleanor walking away.

"I still like him", I continued, though it will be unheard of by the person I so wanted to reach those words to.

"Don't bother, it will be the last time you'd see of him". With my questioning look he hurried on, "you'll know why when its time."

Jeremy left me a query, much harder than any kind of exam.