Chapter 5: The Attic and the Distraught

The windows were dark, giving my home a haunting look. I bolted the door for the night after entering the house. I glanced at the dining table while I kicked off my shoes, the vase of flowers was gone and so was the note. I hope that means Mum accepted my apology.

I rooted through the fridge for a quick dinner after putting the basket from Grandma M on the counter. Then I headed upstairs while I waited for the food to heat up. The whole house was silent other than the creaking of the steps beneath my feet. I gently knocked on my mother's door once I stood before it.

"Mum? It's me, Jinn, " I held my breath for her reply, almost fearing the worst whenever I came home to a dark, silent house.

It was an unbearable wait until a weak shuffling could be heard from behind the closed door. With a sense of severe relief, I let myself into the room. Sometimes she was too weak to respond, so I typically entered with any response I could get from her. Especially since she had expended so much energy the day before to dress and cook. She must have been exhausted.

The room was dark like the rest of the house. It was also a mess, probably because she had dressed the day before and women never seemed to easily decide on what to wear. I walked up to the bedside and drew back the covers to reveal her pale face that was slick with perspiration. The image of the woman from the day before was like a long forgotten and faded memory.

"Mum.." her blue eyes opened to show me the glazed pools that dripped tears upon hearing my soft, pitiful call.

She moved her hand towards the bedside table, I dutifully followed the gesture with my gaze to spot the vase. I brought my attention back to her and saw her lips whispering something to me.

I leaned over to hear her better, "Thank you."

I nodded and clasped her small hands within mine. They were soft like the flower petals. I gently traced her palm with my rough hands. Even with all the work she has done in life, her hands had remained soft. I pressed a kiss to her hands from where I leaned over her. We sat there like that, I don't know how long. After a while, I felt her hand slowly card through my short hair.

"Mum.." I mumbled over and over as if I were a child again, my voice was on the verge of shattering, but I couldn't cry.

"I know, Honey," she finally spoke to soothe me.

I laid my head on her arm to hide my face and breath in her calming scent. Life felt unfair. Her body shook in wet coughs that stole her breath away. A pained groan caused me to lift my head, I would not be another burden on her body.

"Are you hungry?" to me, even my own voice sounded tired and drained.

She shook her head and closed her eyes, "Alright. Rest up now. Mrs. Seals also sent a basket. It's on the counter downstairs. "

I left her room and carefully clicked the door shut. I stood there a moment, in case I would cry, before heading back downstairs to eat even though my appetite had left me.

The sickness had reached its peak within my mother. All the signs of her death were arising. I just hoped that she would pass peacefully in her sleep.

-

The next morning, I returned to the Seals residence to ensure the job was still satisfactory and to see if they needed anything else done. I inspected the landscaping first, this year wasn't necessarily a dry season but it would do good to water some of the plants. I headed up to the porch and knocked on the door to announce my presence. Mr. Seals answered the door and waved me in.

"Hello Jinn. Good to see you again today."

I nodded and stepped into their home. As the oldest couple, they were an anomaly within Burnsley. They had both worked as far from the mine as they could and had remained in suburb health. Their little home was cozy and modest like the majority of the residences of Burnsley. Rooms tended to be multi purpose so that there was no wasted space.

Mr. Seals led me into the kitchen area and offered me a drink which I declined with my own polite question, "How have things been lately?"

He sat at one of the stools and looked to me in his quiet way, "They haven't been terrible. The worst was the landscaping, in which you must be feeling today."

An amused smile tugged at the corner of my mouth from his joke, "That is true. Thankfully, I am used to that type of work. "

The older gentleman nodded with his own chuckle at the light banter, "Today I'm sure Mary will have you help her with the attic. That's the other job that really ought to get done. "

"Attic, " I echoed, most houses didn't have much of a use for attics because there wasn't much to store up there.

"Yes. Needs to be cleaned out, organized, and reinsulated before winter. You'd be surprised how chilly this place gets even with a fireplace just in the living room over yonder," he pointed in the direction with his index finger.

Mr. Seals had blue eyes and speckled grey hair. A white mustache was the most prominent feature of Mr. Seals face, but his other features still appeared stern although his personality was typically quite the opposite. A pair of thick, bushy eyebrows solidified this image.

We waited for his wife to appear from wherever in the house she was. Mr. Seals had muttered something about a pantry. When she finally did arrive, she walked into the room holding boxes that towered high over her head.

"Grandma M, allow me to help you, " I had swiftly gone over to her and lifted the majority of the boxes from her load so she wouldn't strain herself.

"Ah, thank you, Jinn. You can set those in the living room, " she carried her boxes into another room while I followed her instructions.

Once I returned, the both of them were waiting for me. Grandma M was the first to greet me.

"So have you given your mother my gift?" she folded her hands in front of her to hold her excitement.

I shook my head while pursing my lips, "She was already asleep when I got home, but she should find it today when she gets up and about."

"Oh, that's alright, " she tried to hide her pity and disappointment before suggesting we head up to the attic, the slight lie that had slipped past my lips went unnoticed.

I followed behind the small woman as we made our way up a narrow set of stairs. Mr. Seals had gone off to the living room to do some light reading while we cleaned up the attic. I aided Grandma M up the worst of the stairs and looked around the dusty attic. There were a few boxes littered about, but the true issue was the molding insulation.

"Mr. Seals knows his house well, " I commented offhandedly while staring up at the ruined insulation.

Grandma M waved it off with a laugh, "That? He wouldn't know of it if I hadn't told him."

I chuckled along and followed her to the boxes, "Were those boxes from before from the attic as well?"

"Why of course, grab a few and haul them downstairs. Doesn't matter where they end up, " I lifted several boxes with a hum and began bringing them downstairs.

As I carried boxes, Grandma M used a broom and began sweeping the upstairs. Personally, I would have waited until we redid the insulation, but it kept her busy while I moved the boxes. I stood beside the steps once I finished and waited for her to toss the dust out the single window.

"There, now let's tear this muck down," we each drew up bandannas over our noses and mouths and put on some gloves.

I stood on a stepladder and yanked down the strands of old insulation. Grandma M stood off to the side of me and neatly folded the strands to fit through the window before tossing them out. I stepped down to join her so we could bring up the new insulation.

"Where is your little friend that always chases your shadow?" Grandma M asked while we gathered the new insulation.

"Who knows. He may be working another job that will pay him some cash," Grandma M carried a bundle and led the way back up to the attic, I hefted up two and followed her.

An amused laugh left her mouth, "You speak as if you won't be paid. "

I smiled wryly at her backside. I hadn't intended to receive money for helping them reinsulate their home. Besides, the next time I work for the Hamilton's is when I will be paid.

"There's no need. Really."

She cast a doleful look over her shoulder at me before relenting with a sigh, "I suppose it can't be helped. You young men are so stubborn these days."

-

I left the Seals after helping Grandma M by bringing up the boxes to organize them as she wanted and watering some of the plants in the yard. Mr. Seals had told me to leave behind the moldy insulation for the next stray who was looking for work, and as I said, I left without a single cent. They had paid me tenfold with their kindness and hospitality even if the other strays received the same treatment.

I walked home with a warm, satisfying buzz that eased my mind. The Seals were a very stable workplace for strays even if they are not wealthy enough to pay everyone in cash. Typically, some of the work is paid with a decent meal and a sense of family the Seals provided.

I walked up the steps of my home and followed my nightly routine of locking the door and finding food. The lights were out once more and the whole house rested like a beast tucked back in its cave. Dinner was leftovers once more, we didn't have enough food to make anything new and didn't have the money to buy more. I cleaned the dishes again once I finished my meal. The basket had remained untouched while I was gone.

A soft tune came to mind as I walked up the creaky steps, I hummed the song my mother used to sing to me to fill the silence. I paused at the top of the steps, I glanced to my door thoughtfully before changing my mind on a whim. I turned away and knocked at my mother's instead.

The first knock brought no response, so I tried again after waiting a moment. Maybe she was waking up. She rested so often that it wasn't uncommon.

"Mum, I'm home again, " I waited again, growing concerned with the lack of response.

I gave a harder knock that rattled the door in its frame while I glared at the wood grain as if I could see into the room beyond, "Mum, are you awake? It's no time for games, I'm tired."

My voice betrayed my desperation and I could think of nothing but to hear her voice call for me again. I opened the door in a rush, I wish the fear that gripped my heart was irrational though it wouldn't be so as fate would have it. The door slammed against the wall as I strode over to my mother's still bed to rip back the covers. I hadn't realized I was breathing so heavy until I couldn't take a single breath. I stared down at my mother's gaunt face in wide-eyed shock while tightly clutching the covers in my fist. No reactions. None.

I released my hand and held it beneath her nose to check her breathing before trying to find the pulse in her fair wrist almost feverishly. She couldn't be gone. There was a sign of life, I just had to find it. But I couldn't think of any other way to prove my mother's heart still beat in her chest. Her heart. With that quick realization, I quickly laid my head over her chest to listen. Her body didn't move and was cool against my cheek. I could hear nothing from the cavity I hoped would be my savior.

I laid there, my head on her chest. Yearning for her hand to reach up and touch my hair and reassure me that everything would be alright again. I closed my eyes as they welled up with overflowing tears. I couldn't cry when her body held fleetingly to life, but the immense loss finally tore down my hardened emotions. My carefully crafted mask was in tatters as a sob tore from my throat. I could finally cry in earnest, cursing life that had bestowed a beautiful flower such a short life.