Kaye didn't sleep again, instead she drank a glass of milk and started rummaging her fridge to cook something for Ms. Maine.
Yvonne Maine, a psychiatrist, has been married already but Kaye was used to calling her Ms. Maine so she let her be. Kaye would always bring something for the doctor every time she went for consultation. This time she decided to bake a a cake.
Kaye finished making her cake with all the decorations at six in the morning. She wrapped it up and cooked food for breakfast. She didn't wait for Ivan to join her, but she left him some food to eat.
She took a quick shower, changed her clothes to a dark jeans, white turtleneck shirt paired with a white sandals and a silver bag. She put on a light make up and lip gloss. After checking her get up, she gave herself a score of 9 over 10.
She was ready to go when she heard someone shuffling outside. Ivan has woken up.
Checking her watch, it was quarter to eight in the morning. She grabbed her phone and keys before going out, took the cake placed on the table and rushed outside.
"I'll be back later." she informed Ivan but not really letting him know where she's going. She's still mad at him, at his girl and mad with the fact that she liked this bastard who broke her heart.
Ivan wanted to ask her where she was going but she was out of the apartment already. He was standing near the fridge, trying to get some milk when she went out. He didn't know why but he felt something was off but he couldn't point out what it was.
Kaye arrived at the hospital's psychiatry department before the agreed time. She sat on a bench available at the lobby while waiting for the doctor.
"Ms. Jimenez?" called the assistant to her. Kaye raised her head with a questioning look. "Doc wants you to get inside now." she told her with a very accommodating smile.
"Thank you." Kaye stood up and opened the door to Ms. Maine's office. The lady was sitting on her swivel chair, writing something on her record book. "Hello Ms. Maine. It's nice to see you again." she greeted and gave her the gift. "This was the only thing that could distract me." she explained though the doctor knew already.
"I'm glad to see you're doing fine. I hope we could solve your heart problem." the doctor laughed at her blushing face. "Take a seat. Let me know what happened once you're ready."
Kaye walked around the office, looking at the pictures on the shelves, the books, the trophies, and other things before she sat down.
"I didn't know what love is. I didn't even know if I love this person. He's blind but he's very smart and capable. I don't mind him being blind, that's actually much better. However, there was this woman who affected him so much. At first, we met her at the supermarket. I could tell he wanted to see her but he's blind, maybe he didn't want her to see his weakness. I didn't want him hurt so I took him away."
Ms. Maine didn't judge her or gave her comment. She listened to her intently and noted some changes on her expression. " We encountered the woman again yesterday and the same thing happened to him. I was scared I would lose him so I took him home as soon as possible. He told me about how he loved sweet and sour fish because of her. You see, I lost to her without putting a fight. I didn't know it would hurt that way. Last night, my nightmares gave me a surprise visit and when I woke up he was there in my room, sleeping on the couch. He thought he was sleeping at the living room but I don't dare believe him. He must've known something about me." she closed her eyes, scared, anxious, nervous, panicking and other emotions were swirling her eyes. She's having a hard time breathing.
"Breath Kaye. I don't want you fainting." somehow those words sound familiar and it helped her calm her nerves.
"Ms. Maine, will I lose him?"
"Kaye, do you like him that much?" Ms. Maine's question was straight to the point, making her feel an incoming headache.
"I guess. I've never been selfish, but I don't want to share him with anyone. I don't want him to see that woman." her voice was soft but true to her words.
"But you said you like him because he is blind, not seeing who you really are. What if he'll get a surgery to gain back his sense of sight?" This question was one of the things she hated the most. It was a scary question and she's more scared of her answer.
"I...I...I will...I will deal with that if it happens?" she answered unsure.
"See? You don't know. If you like him, you would want him to see the world again. You would want him to gain back his sight. You would not ask him to be in the dark just because you don't want him to see you. You're pretty and kind." Ms. Maine told her the truth of her selfish point.
"I'm hideous Ms. Maine. I would just stop liking him. If he wanted to get surgery, then that's fine. I'll let him go when that time comes. I will just treasure the moment I have with him during his time of blindness." 'Let me be selfish this time. I would return him back to her.' Kaye added to herself mentally.
"I don't agree with you on that, but if that settled you heart, I wouldn't stop you. I just want you to remember Kaye, nothing good comes from selfishness and you know that." Ms. Maine reminded her.
"I will remember that. I will let you know if those things happen again." she stood up and gave a small smile to the doctor.
"Try to calm your heart and mind. Don't agitate yourself." Kaye just nodded her head and left the room with a heavy heart.
'I promise to let you go. When the time comes that you wanted to get a surgery, I would support you. I just want you during your blindness because I don't want to see disgust in your eyes once you can see me.' a tear fell on her eyes thinking the possibilities awaiting her in the future.