WANDERING SOUL

Kaye was walking aimlessly from the hospital. She went to a restaurant and bought something to eat. After eating she went to the nearest park and sat on the available bench.

She watched a child wailing, asking his mom to buy him a transformer. She watched a couple eating ice cream under the tree. She watched a man who gave his daughter a piggyback, with his wife beside him.

'Am I the only one unhappy here? Why is this so unfair?' she sighed, looking at the smiling people walking to and from the park.

She looked up and saw the clear sky. It was a beautiful day but she couldn't find the strength to smile. She was drained. Mentally and emotionally exhausted.

"Let me give it a try." she whispered, walking to the ferris wheel both. Most of the people lining up were couple, group of friends or family. "Can I go alone?" she asked softly to the operator.

"Yes ma'am. Come in." the operator led her to the available cable box.

When Kaye got in, she was nervous. It was her first time in a ferris wheel, after all. She leaned in to the glass and looked down. It has a beautiful scenery up there. When she was at the highest point, it felt like she can reach the sky. She should've been happy but she felt sad even more.

She decided to leave the place and went to stroll at the mall. She went in and out of different clothing line, not knowing what to buy.

'I don't want to go back. I don't want to see his face.' she was talking to herself while grabbing a white off-shoulder dress. 'Horrible.' she put it back and chose a red, long sleeved dress with a high neckline.

"I'd like to try this on." she told the sales lady and she was guided to the changing room. She put on the dress and it fits her perfectly. It covered her neck as well and it wouldn't show her cleavage even if she bend down. 'This is actually good, but there is no point in dressing up.' she was gloomy all over again. She sat down on the chair with her original clothes on.

She was still thinking of what to do next when her phone rang. It was Ivan calling. The happiness she felt before whenever he called can no longer find its way to her heart. She let it ring thrice before answering him.

"What's the matter?" Ivan was startled hearing her cold voice on the line.

"Kaye?" he asked. Unsure if he called the right person.

"It's me." she answered. For the first time, she hated listening to his voice. It irritated her when he called her name.

"What time will you be home?" his voice was strained and nervous but Kaye didn't care. If it was before, she would ask him what's going on, but now? It's different.

"I don't know. Why?" she asked indifferently. Her heart still hurts everytime she remembered his expression hearing the woman's voice.

"I wanted to tell you something important."

"Can't you tell me over the phone?" 'If you want to tell me something that would break my heart, I don't want to hear it at all!' she screamed internally.

"It's inconvenient to talk about it over the phone. I really need to let you know about -"

"I don't know what time I'd be back or if I'd be back today." she interrupted him. Not waiting for him to continue whatever statement he was trying to say that could hurt her.

'Is she still angry? She didn't use the word home in our conversation this time.' Ivan noted mentally the observation he got. "Is that so? Alright. I understand. I'll just wait for you to come home."

"Okay. I've to go now. Bye." without waiting for his response, she ended the call. 'Can't you let me be happy while your blind? I would return you to her okay?' she stood up and went outside holding the dress.

"Do you like it?" asked the sales lady when she saw Kaye walked out.

"Yes. Please wrap this up." then she gave her credit card to pay. She waited for the sales lady to settle her bill while looking around to find anything else that she might like. When her purchase arrived, there was nothing that she'd like to add so she left and went to different stores.

It was five in the afternoon already but she couldn't settle her mind no matter what she did, so Kaye decided to go back to her apartment.

She thought Ivan would be working on something inside his room but when she arrived, he was sitting at the living room. His legs stretched on the sofa, with his laptop on his lap while something was reading the string of letters and numbers for him. There was someone he was sharing his screen with but his microphone was mute, not letting the other party know what's going on in his side.

'He's really waiting for me to come home? Impossible.' she told herself unbelieving what she's seeing.

"You're home. Just give me a moment. I'm almost done." Ivan spoke without lifting his head.

"Ahh? Ahh I'm tired. I want to rest. Let's talk later." then she grabbed her shopping bags and walked to her room, making sure to lock it.

"Who are you talking to?" Alex asked Ivan after a while when he saw him speaking but there was no sound at all.

Ivan turned on the microphone before answering. "I was dictating the code to my screen reader." he lied with a straight face. Alex didn't see Kaye earlier so he didn't know that Alex was actually living with the girl he likes.

"I already found a new project for us. I am still reviewing it so I could provide you the details next week." Alex added.

"That's good to know. It would be good if we finish this as soon as possible. You can have a month to enjoy." Ivan responded.

"I'm looking forward to that."

" You should. You know that..." Kaye could no longer hear their conversation after putting the headphones on.