Stoplights Turned Red: Moon

I looked out the window as the car slows down. There I saw, infront of us, is a feeling I've never felt before. As the stoplights turned red, I knew from that moment that I'll never forget everything. Every small detail, every moment I stole with you, every petals that danced with the wind...

Everywhere I look, everywhere I see, is a sea of red in the form of stoplights. I thought it would flash before my eyes– gone after I blinked, after I opened my eyes again, but no. Everything was printed deep within my heart.

Looking beyond the lane of different land vehicles stretching far beyond the eyes could see, I've never felt so helpless before. Time has stopped. It's like Chronos is teasing me. That one moment as the sudden jolt of the brakes stretched on forever.

I chuckled as the music on the radio was about moving on. And look at the predicament I'm in! I smiled.

"Are you off to meeting your parents little miss?" The driver asked me. I was so surprised by him talking to me that I bumped my head a bit on the headrest.

"Oh! I'm sorry to startle you!"

"No, no, I'm just not used to..." I trailed off. I'm not used to people talking to me, unless it's an order or a question...

"And no, I'm off to meet my fate in this city." I told him as I scratched my nose out of habit.

"Hmm, I see... Speaking in riddles huh? And who might this 'fate' be?"

I smiled. He's trying to be friendly to me? Or is this to pass the time as the sea of red swallowed us whole?

"It's alright if you don't tell me! I'm just curious and all... But I'm not forcing tou to continue the conversation..."

Then why start it?

...

I smiled again.

"No it's fine. I'm just not used to talking."

I told him about the wind rolling down the fields, about the petals being carried away with the wind as well as the leaves  that has fallen away from its roots. About the melodic swaying of the branches, the cold gentle winds caressing my face...

As the stoplights turned green, I felt the rush of the moving car. It has swept me up my feet. Time moved again. I felt a huge relief. But I know this won't go easily. I sighed.

"Wow miss. That's a really nice place you told me. I thought the 'fate' you're talking about is a person. Is that your dream?"

This 'fate' I'm talking about may or may not be a person. Depending on the situation I encounter, the 'fate' I'm looking for is somewhere far away from here. Is someone who will look after me. Will somehow make me forget of my circumstances...

"But first, I shall conquer thus current predicament!" I said with conviction. The driver chuckled.

"You're one weird miss. Are you by chance a writer? The way you speak, the way you answer and think... I can't help but imagine everything. You're good with describing words miss."

Is that a compliment? I think I blushed with that statement. Every one around me think I'm weird speaking in metaphors that they even thought of me as a 'girl from the 90's' with the way I talk. I never even thought of becoming a writer... Will I meet my 'fate' if I did?

"The traffic is heavier than usual... Did some accident happened again? Hopefully none..." The driver muttered to himself. This is not the usual?

But even so, we're slowly creeping along towards my first step to meeting my 'fate.'

"It might be a good hour or so before we're at the destination, miss. I hope it's fine? If you're in a rush, I could drop you off to the nearest train station." The driver offered.

"Ah, no, no. It's fine sir. I'm just taking my time leisurely. Nothing to worry about." I said as the sea of red swallowed us whole once again.

The radio was now playing a soft music about longing. About wanting to meet someone again. Of being with them.

"Have you ever felt that one moment you wanted to create a time machine? To be with family, turn back time, or change the past?" The driver asked.

I'm not sure if it's directed to me or to him. Is this because of the song?

"Ah! It's just an old man rambling! Sorry to startle you with such question!" The driver said. Is this because of my face scrunched in thought?

But the question made me wonder. Have I ever had that feeling? Of wanting to turn back time? Is this what I've been feeling for the past years?

"I did. I wished to go back to the time I could smile and be happy genuinely. Back to the time I could laugh and feel emotions..." I said quietly.

I don't know if the driver heard me. He was quite. The radio continued to sing of it's longing.

And we drifted along as the car took turns from stopping and running. The feeling was rhythmically relaxing to me that I...

I heard a small bell tinkling, then we stopped once more. I'm not sure why the driver was now quiet. Was it because of what I said? Or he's just letting me to be with my thoughts?

I looked outside my window. There I saw someone laughing so genuinely. He looked so happy I would've smiled too if I were in their car. I saw that they're one happy family. I reached out to them and came to a sudden realization. If course I can't reach them. We're separated by a thick wall.

But then, our eyes met. You smiled from ear to ear, like you don't have a care in the world. I'm not sure if its directed towards me or its just a coincidence.

"Of course it's just a coincidence." I scolded myself. I looked away, shy and confused of assuming things...

Then I keep hearing that 'tut, tut, tut.' Someone's knocking on the window? I looked back on my side. I saw you waving and knocking on your window. How could I hear that from the radio's loud music?

You keep waving and pointing down. Huh? Down? I was about to ignore you when you put your head down in surrender. But you recovered quickly and put both of your index fingers by either side of your mouth. You then pushed them up to make you smile. Is it for me? You held that position for almost a minute and I can feel you struggling. I can't help but chuckle.

"There we go." I could hear someone say. I looked at the driver but that's not his voice. He's really quiet. I also doubted the radio for its playing music with a female's voice. I looked outside again. I know it's impossible but...

"Did you just laugh?" I could see you from the window, but I heard you loud and clear. What's happening? I'm so surprised and confused. How did that happen? You keep waving to get my attention.

"Can you hear me?" The voice rang loud and clear from the mouth I'm seeing. I nodded.

You put your index finger close to your mouth as if thinking. I think you're confused too.

Then the stoplights turned green, the vehicles moved and you were cut off from your own thoughts.

"Wha– wait!"

But the distance grew larger and larger, the voice gets farther and farther away too. I was surprised too. I keep track of the car you were in and hoped to know what's happening too. The fates seem to be playing with us and our cars keeps getting farther away.

The stoplights flashed red after a few minutes. As if coincidence was on our side, we were side by side once again.

You waved. I waved back. Your eyes sparkled in excitement.

"I thought you were those types that snobs people. I guess you're just shy." You said. I'm not sure if that was intentional or it just slipped out of your mouth.

"Can I ask for your name?"

I shyed away. I'm really not used to talking.

"You'll know my name if you will join me in drinking the fountain if youth." I told you. You smiled.

"Talking in riddles? I don't like thinking..."

I chuckled.

"Tell me the meaning of your name. We could guess each other's names then."

"Eh?! We're playing a game? But I don't even know what my name means... I'm not fond of meanings."

We were quiet for a minute. You were deep in thought.

"Hey how about we play hangman using our names? We get to have, uh, how many letters does your name have?"

"Five." I answered.

"What a coincidence! Me too! Then, we'll have five strikes to guess the letters."

"That's not a game!" I said. "It's supposed to have some sort of thrill!"

Your face scrunched. You were surprised.

"Eh... Well, then how about this? Whoever guess the other's name first will get to buy them lunch. How about that?"

I chuckled. "You're on then."

The cars we're in moved a bit, and as we stopped, that was our decided starting point.

"Ladies first then." You said. We we're deep in thought.

I looked at you. You're not fond if meanings and you have a five letter name. A thousand possibilities, but I started with the vowels.

"Does your name have the letter... E?

You tensed. Is that yes?

"How'd you know?! You know my name already?!"

I was taken aback. You're too easy to read!

I played along with what you were thinking. Or is this a trap?

I smiled coyly. "I do." I lied.

You gritted your teeth and analyzed me. It was your turn to guess. I think you're having a hard time guessing...

"Does it have... A?"

I continued smiling. Now you're panicking.

"Am I wrong? Why are you smiling? Huh? Eh?"

"Relax! You're right." I could hear a sigh of relief.

We continued the same procedure for who knows how long. We didn't realized the time for we were deep in thought. I can't believe it's just a few minutes have passed. Even though we only have five guesses, we think carefully and slowly of the possibilities and what could bes.

I got 'I' and 'N' right. You got 'I' and 'M' right.

Now that we're finished with the five guesses, we're now guessing what the other's name was.

I connected each dot. I got 'E,' 'I,' and 'N.' There's a lot of name with those letters in order. But I thought of the somehow common at the same time not. It's just a wild guess. Let's give it a shot.

"Is it... 'Erwin'?"

Your eyes sparkled. You tensed.

"Almost... You had one letter wrong." You breathed in relief.

You're taking this way too seriously. I just smiled in disappointment.

"And your guess is?"

You became quiet for a few seconds. You took a deep breath and said 'Marie' confidently.

I blinked a few times. My smile still there.

"Am I right?"

I stayed silent.

"Hey?!"

"Unfortunately you got my name wrong."

You pouted, your disappointment showing.

"Since I got the closest answer, does that mean I win?" I asked coyly.

You looked away. "I... Well... It's not part of our agreement... So the both of us gets to buy each other lunches instead!"

I chuckled by your attempt of avoiding a  loss. Then slowly it turned into laughter.

"I'm glad I could make you laugh like that, but what's so funny?" You asked with an accompanying confused look. I laughed even harder. Even you were starting to laugh.

After a minute of laughing, you pounded your right hand lightly on your left palm, as if a new idea popped out of your head.

"Oh yeah! The names! What was your name?"

I tried to tell you but the sound of a bell tinkling gets louder and louder that we can't hear each other.

The stoplights turned green.

The bells keeps getting louder and louder. Our cars getting farther and farther away again. We kept shouting but it never reached our ears.

"I'll find you no matter what! I'll make you smile again!"

You mouthed to me as we got closer at one moment and drifted off again. I reached towards you, but I knew I can't...

And the brakes screeched to a halt once again.

"You slept quite soundly there little miss. We're almost at our destination." The driver said. I looked around, everything is now a blur.

Since when...?

Then I heard the tinkling of the bells again. I saw where the source of it was. The small belle were hanging on the car's front mirror.

"Why little miss? You look disappointed there." The driver asked. I was cut off from my thoughts.

"Ah, it's nothing. I just remembered something..."

"Is it because the trip is almost over?"

That fast? How long was I asleep? I had never thought I would long for the stoplights to turn red every time. I wished I could be with you forever in that sea of red...

"We're already here! Take care of yourself miss! Especially its already night. I hope you have safe travels!" The driver said as I take my things. It's just a small luggage with some clothes and mementos from my past.

Then a glint caught my eyes. I looked at my necklace that was hanging at my luggage. I took it off. I held it one last time. This was a memento of my family before everything happened.

I gave it to the driver as my thanks.

"No, no! I couldn't possibly..."

I smiled and held it out for him to take it.

"It's alright sir. Just take it."

He reluctantly took it and hanged it on his front mirror.

"You know miss, you reminded me of another girl who gave me this bell."

He pointed to the bell. "She was the same age as you, I guess."

I didn't asked for the details, but he elaborated.

"This girl was on her way to the dorms at a time just like this. She's really friendly, always making our conversations long. When we were nearing our destination, she asked a weird question, 'If I were to grant you a wish right now, what could it be?'

I wad surprised by her question. Maybe she's just concerned if me as I told her my story. I just smiled back then and played along with her.

I answered, 'To see my family once again.'

She smiled and gave me this bell. She told me that if I ring this bell, my wish will come true. She then thanked me and left to her destination.

I did ring the bell as she left and I met my daughter the next day. Ever since then, I just hanged this bell to remind me of her and the wish that came true."

I just listened to his story. We're parking on the unloading area and I think its not good.

"I'm sorry to hold you like this, miss. Making you listen to an old man's story. But since I remembered it, if I were to ask you the same question, what would it be?"

I was silent. It made me wonder, what would I ask for?

Maybe I'll wish to relive my past, or to finally meet the 'fate' I wanted desperately to see or feel or experience or to be with.

What came out of my mouth was different from what I was thinking.

"I'd like to see that person in real life. If he ever existed."

I was surprised by my words. They were foreign to me, but also was the most comfortable to me.

"I see. Whoever that is, I hope you see him again. Here, ring the bell to make it true."

I smiled. I did as he told me and I heard the bell tinkle.

"Thank you sir for everything. And for making me smile." I told him.

"Anytime little miss." And he took off.

I felt the rush of the cold wind sweep by me. Even though I'm wearing a jacket, I can't stop feeling the cold and loneliness.

As I was walking, I passed by a public park. There's still a lot of people walking and passing by.

I stopped at the sight of a familiar family. It can't be...

I shook my head. Maybe I'm just hallucinating.

I walked my first step towards meeting my 'fate.'