Dream

Trigger Warnings: Talk of abuse and trauma.

A woman with beautiful long brown hair and a white sunhat decorated with sunflowers that match the white dress she wore sat in the distance under a tree.

Lillian stared at her, unsure of why she felt uneasy as the hairs on her body stood up even though the sun shone so brightly it threatened to burn her skin.

A strange pull came from the woman like she needed to go to her and, even if she didn't wish it, her body started moving on its own.

Walking through the winding path filled with all kinds of flowers as they dispersed away once she walked past them.

"Myra! Come sit with me." The woman turned the moment she heard Lillian's footsteps, a tired smile on her exhausted face, while she patted the ground beside her.

"I'm fine here," Lillian replied, wringing her fingers behind her.

"Come on. Sit beside your mother. Or are you repulsed by that thought as well?" She asked, smiling with a hint of accusation in her eyes.

"Fine." Lillian begrudgingly sat down next to her, pulling her legs to her chest, cautious of the woman beside her.

"Do you hate me, Myra?" She asked.

"Don't call me that."

"Ah yes, you have a different name now, don't you? What was it again? I think it starts with an 'L'?"

"It's Lillian. What do you want? You've been appearing too much these days."

"I thought you would be happy to see your mother, one who has done so much for you. You've become the woman you are today thanks to me and my sacrifices."

"Right. If you say so. Are you done?"

"My, you've become so rude. You should learn your manners again, do I need to bring the box?" The woman spoke calmly but her tone of voice and her expressions were anything but calm.

Lillian looked at her in the eyes and frowned, "Go ahead."

"How dare you talk you me like that? Have you forgotten everything I did for you?! Ungrateful child!" She reached out and grabbed Lillian's hair, pulling at it as the skies turned red and the plants withered away.

"Right, right. Will you please let go of my hair, I am already loosing enough hair without you grabbing so hard at it." Lillian grabbed the woman's wrist and pulled it out of her hair. She had a clump of Lillian's hair in her closed fists while she fumed with rage.

"Now that we are done here, please excuse me." Lillian got up and began walking away towards the withering scenery.

"I did everything for you! I went through all that for you! I went through abuse, I was ridiculed! Deserted! I had to beg at the side of the road and even sell myself to old men just so that we would be able to eat that night!

"I did all that! And you still treat me like this? If I knew this would happen, I would have let your father killed you that day! I was so kind to you and you can't even be respectful to me! You're a shame and disgrace to your family!"

Lillian stopped walking and turned to the screaming woman, her face was completely devoid of emotion.

"Mother. Do you remember how you died?" Lillian asked as a cold wind blew, the sky turning redder with each second.

"What?" She screamed.

"You died while you were out with a group of men whose wives didn't take so kindly to the woman stealing their husbands away. You were a beautiful woman and you knew that no one cared that we didn't even have a home and were living in a shabby, abandoned shed in the corner of the town, they only wished be with a beautiful woman.

"That's the reason why you were invited out every day and night by those men. Both married and unmarried. You left me to take care of my younger brother and sister.

"You would come home drunk and with your stomach full, complaining of the bedding there while you threw a tantrum. You didn't know that both my brother and sister were sick, so I told you. It was a simple illness. With medicine, they would have gotten better but we couldn't even afford that.

"When I told you that I needed money, remember what you did, Mother?"

Lillian plucked a flower that hadn't dried yet, smiling bitterly at it, "You threw whatever you could at me, screaming and cursing that you raised a money-hungry daughter but you were angrier that the man you had an interest on chose his wife over you that day. One of the things you threw at me was the chair.

"Do you remember what happened after that, Mother?" Lillian crushed the flower in her hands, her hands shaking, "My brother, hearing the commotion, came and covered me. He was in such a hurry that he wasn't careful and ended up biting his tongue off when the chair crashed onto his head."

"After you released your anger and frustrations, you went and slept while brother bled from his mouth, his severed tongue on the floor. I couldn't tell it from all the blood anymore. You left your children screaming and crying, covered with blood and went to sleep."

"It was late at night and I had to force myself to stop crying and pick brother up, tying him to my back I ran to look for a hospital but I needed money so I stole it from the nice lady that gave me a ride to the hospital, the shame I felt that day will never leave me.

"I wanted to be like you, mother. I thought that if I was at least as beautiful as you were, I would have been able to attract a wealthier person but I wasn't." Lillian smiled, venom thick in her voice.

"Well enough of that. Since you were there then you would have known already right? I will take my leave now." Lillian began walking away again.

"Myra!" The woman shouted but Lillian ignored her, as a soft blue light appeared in front of her.

"Oh, Mother." Lillian stopped before entering the light, "I know that you are created by my mind because of the bitterness I held towards you even after you died. You are just my mind playing tricks on me so you may have gotten confused."

She smiled bitterly at her, "All those that you said you went through … were actually mine. So, even if you took everything from me, I won't let you take anymore, not even these bad memories. They are still mine. Not yours. Goodbye."

Lillian opened her eyes and saw the ceiling decorated with a painting of the field she was in while she slept. Dim light from the moon entered the room, basking the room with its light. No one sat beneath the tree in the distance and the flowers were still fresh and alive.

Thank goodness. The scenery was too pretty to be ruined that way even if it was just in my dream.

Huh?

The events of the dream flashed in her mind again and she felt a throbbing pain in her chest as she clutched it tightly.

So annoying, why is this happening nowadays? She should just disappear but she couldn't leave me alone even in death, could she?

"Ungrateful child!" The woman's shouts echoed in her throbbing head. "Useless!"

"Mother! Please. I need money. It's not a lot. Just enough to buy medicine and food for brother and sister."

"You're not as beautiful as your mother are you, girl? But I suppose you will do."

"It hurts! Please stop! It hurts!"

"Shut up! I am paying for you, aren't I? Just keep quiet if you want the money."

I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

She kept repeating to herself as tears continued to run down her face and her breathing got ragged.

"Where did you get all this money from, Myra? You stole them didn't you, you little slut!"

"Mother, please. I need that money to buy medicine!"

"You're only going to spend it all on yourself without caring about your family aren't you?"

"I promise that I am only going to buy medicine. Please don't take it away. Please!"

"Insolent! You dare go against your mother, guess I haven't punished you enough. Come with me!"

"Not the box, Mother, please! I promise I'll be good! I promise! If you lock me in there then who will take care of my brother and sisters?!"

"Kids only learn when they are severely punished. I am still your mother. You should respect me. As for your siblings, they'll be fine. You're the problem child at least they are quiet and disciplined. Have fun!"

"Why can't you be more like your family? Everyone is so beautiful and you are as ugly as they come. Are you really our daughter?"

"You shouldn't be alive."

Lillian used her other hand to cover her mouth so that she wouldn't make a sound as the voices grew louder.