Chapter 6 - I Wish You Whale

Chapter Six - I Wish You Whale

I beamed at the wanted poster of Luffy which was now signed by his chicken scratch as I tucked it safely into my precious scrapbook.

"My warrior goddess! May I be so bold as to borrow your weapon?" Sanji giggled, bouncing up to me upon the deck of the Going Merry.

I frowned. Warrior goddess was certainly an improvement…

"Perhaps I could tempt you with some chocolate mousse?"

I gulped. Sanji had learnt my weakness! But the running gag! What do I do? What do I do?

"Why do you need her knives?" Nami questioned, causing Sanji's eyes to take the form of double hearts before he gulped nervously.

"Those are the knives from the kitchen…" Sanji admitted with a sweat-drop.

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Nami bellowed, smacking me and Sanji in a double take-out. "ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU'VE BEEN PREPARING FOOD WITH KNIVES THAT SLICED OPEN A FISHMAN?"

And several of Don Krieg's men, but Nami didn't need to know that.

"I washed them thoroughly, Nami-chan!" Sanji defended, taking my hand within his own, "but I just couldn't stand to upset a goddess!"

"Hmm, why would that upset Luffy?" I blinked, trying to wipe all evidence of the chocolate mousse around my mouth away with my forearm.

I laughed as Sanji foamed at the mouth, letting out a 'meep' as Nami loomed over me like the devil himself.

"No more fighting with kitchen knives," Nami scolded me. "When we arrive in Loguetown, I'll lend you the money to buy some weapons, okay?"

I scrambled in my pocket as I saw the beli signs flash in her eyes, gleefully holding up a cookie.

"AND THE INTEREST CAN'T BE PAID WITH COOKIES!"

"Aww."

I skipped beside my senpai along the streets of Loguetown, resting a hand on his chest, holding him back as he reached for his sword in the defence of a woman at the source of a ruckus. I beamed as she sliced her two opponents up with her sword, before sweat-dropping as she face-planted the ground.

"Hey, looking for these?" my noble senpai inquired, offering the fallen glasses to the woman on the floor.

"S-sorry for troubling you, thank you very much."

I snickered at the expression on my senpai's face, bobbing along as he turned and headed down the street with his hands in his pockets.

"You like her!" I taunted, clutching my palm to my mouth as I puffed up my cheeks in laughter.

"Do not!" Zoro snapped, teeth like razors as we came across an arms shop, which Zoro would have walked past if I hadn't dragged him in (how he ended up there the first time around I'll never know).

I shrieked, darting around the shop and picking up every item I could get my hands on as senpai talked to the shop owner. I flapped around a fan before closing it and launching it across the room like a Kyoshi Warrior, cracked a whip like a certain Celestial Mage, and Naruto ran across the shop whilst clutching a kunai in each hand. That was when my eyes sparkled and my gaze fell on a set of dual knives, my leg hopping on the spot as I beheld them in all their glory. I picked them up, taking a couple swipes at the air before throwing one across the room and smirking as it embedded itself through the eye of a helmet sitting on the wall.

"If you want throwing knives, you should go for these," a beefy woman in a striped shirt commented, pointing to a collection.

They were thin metal and contained numerous knives, meaning they were great for throwing, but wouldn't last long in hand-to-hand combat.

"How much for both?" I frowned.

"150,000 beli for the dual knives, 50,000 for the throwing set," the woman informed me.

"Guess it will have to be just the throwing knives," I sighed, staring wistfully at the dual knife set, before taking the set up to the counter.

I grinned as I spotted the woman from earlier admiring senpai's sword. I let out a splutter (cus my mind is dirty), catching Zoro's unimpressed look as I smirked at him knowingly. That was when the poor girl fell into the swords stuffed in a barrel and sent them crashing to the floor. I sighed, crouching down as I began to help her pick them up.

"Oh, thank you so much!" she smiled before turning back to Zoro. "So you love swords, do you? If you don't mind me saying so, your three swords remind me of a certain bounty hunter."

I let out a splutter, wheezing as the girl slapped me on the back in panic.

"Is she okay?" she cried.

"She's fine, just ignore her." Zoro sighed as I clutched my chest, most likely resembling a tomato. "A certain bounty hunter, you said?"

I tried not to laugh as the woman gave a speech about swords being used for evil such as piracy. It would have been heart-warming if I wasn't currently struggling to breathe.

"You would never use a sword for such atrocities, would you senpai?" I giggled, nudging him in the side.

I watched carefully as the woman picked out my senpai's swords from the barrel, tilting my head as Zoro decided to test himself against a cursed sword. I just sat on the ground, cross-legged and watched the show.

"Are you really going to let your senpai do this?" the woman shrieked, slapping her hand to her mouth, unable to take her eyes off of him.

I shook my head as the sword passed by his outstretched arm, the sword itself ending up embedded through the floor. In response I launched one of my throwing knives at his arm smirking as he whipped it out the way, a vein popping on his forehead.

"So dramatic, senpai," I grinned, standing up to turn around to do a little jig, "AND SO COOL!"

That was when the shopkeeper offered him his swords for free, and I turned to his wife expectantly.

"You still pay," she demanded, making me go 'aww' as I bowed my head.

"These please," I sighed, placing the throwing knives on the counter.

That was when the two dual knives I had set my eyes on earlier clanked onto the counter, right next to them along with 100,000 beli in notes.

"You are," I cut off as I lifted my knees up and down excitedly, "the best senpai," I threw my arms around Zoro, "ever!"

"Geez, calm down, would ya," Zoro sighed.

"You two are such a strange pairing," the woman giggled into her hand.

Her knees were still on the ground from being floored (literally) by my senpai's badass-ness.

"You're too kind," I blushed, putting my 100,000 beli notes on the counter before stuffing the dual knives into my belt and picking up the throwing knives before running after senpai who was already on his way out. "Bye!"

"Thank god we won't be seeing her again," Zoro muttered to himself.

"Uh-hu," I smirked, feeling his eyes rested on me, narrowing, as I drew out one of my dual knives and twirled it expertly in my hand.

"Ah-choo!" I sneezed violently, rubbing a finger against my nose.

"You're not coming down with something, are ya?" Zoro frowned.

"Don't worry about me, senpai! I imagine someone was just talking about me."

And why wouldn't they? I was fabulous. I frowned as my eyes lifted to the execution stand of Gol D. Roger, blinking as Luffy waved at me, his hand restricted by a wooden plank squishing him down.

"Hey Eve," he yelled over the crowd. "Your dad is here!"

"Ah, my dear daughter! How I've longed to see you again!" Buggy waved over to me, a mass of tears collecting in his eyes.

I sweat-dropped.

"That's your dad?!" Sanji exclaimed, his jaw dropping open. "But you look nothing alike!"

"Thank you!" I sighed, flicking my wrist out towards Sanji. "How the hell did this ever become a thing?"

I watched the scene with embarrassment, tugging my pom-pom hat over my eyes as everyone looked between me and Buggy whilst he shouted out things like 'I missed you so much' and 'have you been eating enough, you look thin'.

"Well, he certainly seems to mother you, my warrior goddess," Sanji commented, causing me to scoff as a 'stray' knife almost hit him in the head, only blocked by a last minute flick of his legs. "Why don't you ask him to let Luffy go?"

I sighed. How the hell had this become a running gag? I made the jokes, god dammit! Walking closer to the execution platform, I cupped my hand to my mouth.

"Hey Buggy!"

"Don't be shy, you should call me father!" the clown called down, rosy-cheeked.

I puffed up my own cheeks.

"Not gonna," I declared stubbornly as I crossed my arms and pouted.

"Do it!" Zoro snapped at me.

I rolled my eyes and clenched my teeth.

"Fine… dad." I swear in that moment our entire audience sucked in a collective gasp and Buggy clenched his cheeks and squeaked in happiness. "Please let my Captain go."

"I can't do that, Evie! That's what this brat says you go by now. Such a beautiful name for my darling daughter!" Buggy shouted from the platform before swinging his sword up. "Anyway, I can't just forgive him for taking my daughter away. Just watch carefully from there! Witness the last moments of your Captain!"

I tried to not spontaneously combust in embarrassment as Luffy declared he was about to die with a smile. Fortunately, the one who spontaneously combusted was Buggy as he was hit with a clap of lightning and fell from the platform, burnt to a crisp. I shook my head at him, crouching down to pat him on the shoulder in sympathy.

"Looks like I survived! How lucky!" Luffy laughed, slapping his straw hat back on his head. "Sorry about your dad though, Eve."

"Luffy, he was trying to execute you!"

That was when the four of us began to run for it, a mass of the Marines that had gathered following in pursuit.

"Eve, your dad got caught!" Luffy yelled at me, looking back at the scene.

"He'll be fine, Luffy. Let's go!"

That was when Luffy stopped dead.

"But he's your family."

"FOR ROGER'S SAKE!" I bellowed, realising the kid was never going to let this go.

Whipping around, Luffy grinned and let out a 'Gomu Gomu: Trampoline' as I jumped onto his bulging belly and flew over the mass of Marines back to the centre square. I landed in a superhero pose (like a true badass), standing up to draw my new dual knives to slash at the two Marines who lunged at me before throwing them at the remaining two guarding the prisoners.

I threw off what I suspected to be a seastone-infused iron net, directing it towards the small crowd of Marines that had split off from the ones chasing us before. I smirked at the irony of them being trapped by their own net. Upon retrieving my dual knives, I used it to cut the ropes holding Buggy's crew, blinking as Buggy picked me up in his arms and spun me around once he was free.

"You came back for me! Such a good daughter you are," he cried, tears flowing from his eyes. "Now we can set sail together. Father and daughter, side by side!"

"See ya!" I called back, already halfway across the street and sprinting back towards the Going Merry.

I sweat-dropped as I heard Buggy's thunderous roar from behind.

"Damn that Straw Hat, stealing my daughter away from me during her rebellious years!"

Shaking my head, I ran full pelt back towards the ship. It was eerily empty, probably since most Marines had gone in pursuit of everyone else. Rude. I grinned when I caught up to senpai, seeing him clashing swords with the woman with glasses from earlier.

"Stop flirting, senpai! We need to go!" I laughed as I ran past, earning myself a glare from both of them before Zoro ran after me with a scowl on his face.

Me and senpai crashed through a force of gathering Marines, sending them flying, and allowing me to catch sight of a dark figure turning away from the scene with a whip of his black cloak.

"Wha-what's going on?" Luffy questioned, now finding himself in Zoro's grasp as we continued to run, me looking back as Smoker and Dragon exchanged words. "Who was that guy that saved us just now?"

My eyes gleamed. Payback time.

"Maybe it was your father, Luffy."

"Yeah, right," Zoro scoffed, causing me to sweat-drop. "You're just mad about Buggy."

"BUT IT WAS!" I yelled back, teeth as sharp as razors.

"To find All Blue."

"To become Pirate King!"

"To be the greatest Swordsman…"

"To draw a map of the world!"

"T… t-to become a brave warrior of the seas!"

I watched with a smile as everyone lifted their foot onto the barrel of sake, each of them declaring their dreams. Everyone turned to me expectantly, watching as I tapped my foot onto the barrel with a wide grin on my face.

"To living the dream."

"OFF TO GRAND LINE WE GO!"

"Oh no! We've entered the Calm Belt!" Nami exclaimed.

"Woo! What a great place to swim!" I beamed, hearing Nami scream after me as I dove into the water.

I lost momentum as I dove in, grinning as a dark figure rose up from the depths of the sea. A tidal wave rose up, my body bursting back into the air, rising on the head of a giant beast.

"MoMoo!" I cried affectionately, giving the sea cow an affectionate pat on the head. "Aren't you a good boy? Yes you are. So smart for following us all the way here."

I continued my affectionate praise of MoMoo, laughing as he threw his head back into the air to throw me upwards before rolling over and catching me on his stomach. I scratched his belly, laughing with scrunched up eyes as it suddenly grew dark.

"Huh?" I blinked, looking up to see a horde of monsters that made MoMoo look like an ant.

I briefly wondered what that made me.

"MOMOO! HEAD FOR THE STORM! HEAD FOR THE STORM!" I shouted, screaming as MoMoo launched me back into the air so that I could cling onto his head as we darted underwater to make our escape.

I held my breath, eyes widening as the Sea Kings gained on us. I screamed as MoMoo jumped out of the water, probably more for my benefit than anything. I sucked in air, having never been so glad to re-emerge in a raging storm in my life. I looked back to the Calm Belt where the hoard of monsters cowered before the storm.

"That's what I thought, you bunch of limp noodles!" I yelled at them whilst shaking a fist, sweat-dropping when one of them bared their teeth at me.

"We better get out of here, MoMoo," I signed, running a calming hand across his head as he shook violently underneath me. "Hey, it's ok. There, there. Do you think you can find the Merry?"

MoMoo let out a whine and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't get sassy with me, Mister!"

I shook my head, blinking when I realised we were moving backwards quite rapidly. Turning around, I found that MoMoo's body was being dragged up the side of Reverse Mountain.

"Brace yourself, MoMoo! Looks like we're heading to the Grand Line!" I squealed as we zipped up the equivalent of a water slide in reverse.

I let out a shriek of joy as we were thrown into the air, one arm thrusted to the sky as I used the other to clutch onto MoMoo for dear life. Then, I felt the wind make the skin on my face flap about as we descended to the other side at a crazy speed. I blinked at the sight of the giant whale. Under me MoMoo went belly up, meaning I ended up sliding off into the sea.

"Oh, MoMoo," I sighed, giving the sea cow a gentle bat as his soul left his body. "You're probably going to be sued for that."

I blinked when I got a sense of deja-vu, seeing a giant eye lift up behind me.

"Hello there," I sweat-dropped. "Could I interest you in a whale pun?"

"Hey Luffy!"

I grinned as the Going Merry emerged from the hatch in Laboon's side, waving at everyone as I stood on MoMoo's head.

"Hey Eve! Where have you been this whole time?" Luffy called back, stood on the broken bow.

"Oh, you know, providing therapy for an estranged whale," I shrugged, rolling my eyes when Laboon let out a roar as I lowered my voice to a stage-whisper. "He's still in denial about it."

"How rude, they're completely ignoring us, Miss Wednesday!"

"And to think they thought they could just knock us out and forget we were here, Mr 9."

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" I inquired, a single eyebrow raised as I folded my arms whilst MoMoo lifted his head to sniff the pair under my feet.

"Time to leave, Miss Wednesday?"

"Absolutely, Mr. 9."

I laughed as they swam away, patting MoMoo on the head as he quivered beneath my feet.

"You know, things are just going to get tougher from here on out," I sighed, feeling his quivering pick up. "Maybe… maybe you could keep Laboon company, eh, MoMoo?"

I gave a small smile as MoMoo let out a cry.

"M-me too, MoMoo," I sniffed, trying to stop the swelling of tears in my eyes, "but Laboon is all alone, and I'm sure he would love someone like you to swim around with."

My mouth wobbled as MoMoo replied.

"Yeah, a big strong sea-cow who can protect him. I bet Laboon would like that."

I wiped my eyes. Damn allergies.

With Luffy having thrashed it out with a Laboon and our Jolly Roger now proudly on his head, Nami kicked Sanji and Luffy into the sea for destroying the Log Pose. I sighed, jumping off MoMoo's back to do my diligent duty in retrieving Luffy. I emerged from the sea, water streaking down my face as I placed Luffy back on the shore to hear Mr 9 and Miss Wednesday out. I sighed as he readily agreed to escort them, finding myself clasping the rail of the Merry as Luffy called out his goodbyes to Laboon.

"WI WOVE WO WOWOO! WAKE WARE WOV WUBOON!"

"This river on deck is quite unique, Miss Wednesday," Mr 9 frowed, rubbing his chin curiously. "I wonder if it sourced from the sea."

"I think it is a consequence of that crying girl, Mr 9," Miss Wednesday blinked.

"WIM NWOT WY-ING, WOU WIMP WOOWLE!"

"Come on, Eve!" Luffy cheered, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "We'll be back before you know it."

"WEMPAI, WAN WI HWAVE A WUG?"

"No."

I went to my corner of shame to continue my pity party.

"You can actually understand her?" Nami blinked back her shock.

"Isn't that what she always sounds like?" Zoro frowned.

"Don't expect him to understand, Nami-chan," Sanji scoffed. "He has blunted himself to the sensitive nature of beautiful maidens!"

"Wuffy, wanwi wes war a wissy."

Everyone blinked and turned to Zoro.

"Luffy, Sanji says you're a sissy," Zoro translated.

"Say that to my face, you damn wasabi!" Sanji warned, shoving his forehead against Zoros.

"Just wait until I skewer you, shitty-cook," Zoro shot back, pushing back against Sanji's forehead.

I let out a strangled cry, sniffing when Usopp gave me a sympathetic pat on the back before I wrapped him in a tight embrace.

"Can't breath!" he choked, sweat-dropping as his cries for help were lost amongst my wails.

A/N: Yesss! Eve and Buggy reunited! I love it. It's such a shame Buggy doesn't really appear in the story again for ages. I love writing them together, even if Eve doesn't appreciate a good running gag not of her own making ;D

Armameril, glad you liked the chapter, and I'm sorry I left MoMoo behind, but I thought Laboon needed nakama more than she did, even if they were awesome together.

Surgeononlaw, same to you about MoMoo, but holy Roger I keep picturing Eve yelling at a Yonko because he's like 'you really take after your father'. Could you imagine? I'm dying right now.

Lily E. Miller and Iris my Beloved, thank you for your ideas on the epithet. How I didn't think of 'The Mad Hatter' I will never know! I love that. I have a lot to think about with these suggestions!