Chapter 4: Keep Your Hands Where I Can See Them 1/2

"When I said that I cleaned my room, I meant that I made a path from the doorway to my bed."

-Anon

Disclaimer: I, Darkpetal16, do not own Naruto.

Warning: This story was made for shits and giggles.

Edit: 12/9/14

Edit: 4/27/2017

Week One

Day One:

"Sensei!" I greeted enthusiastically. "I brought lunch for today. Would you like me to feed you?"

Kakashi stared at the overly cute bento box I held out to him before he rubbed at his nose, took a deep breath and "sneezed" out a small fireball.

I let out a startled shout, dropping the smoldering box. Naruto gaped. "That's sacrilege! You don't turn down a cute girl's homemade lunch."

"He had very good reason to," Sasuke muttered, tossing me wary looks.

Mock sniffling, I whined, "A simple no would have sufficed."

Kakashi gave me an eye-smile. "Thank you for the lunch, Sakura."

My heart soared under his praise.

He set it on fire, why the hell does that praise make you happy?

Kakashi clapped his hands together. "That reminds me, Sakura, did you go to the hospital?"

"Yes, my ribs are merely bruised," I answered cheerfully. "They said it would only hurt if I took deep, ragged breaths."

"I see. In that case, you all will be doing laps around Konoha until you drop. Academy reports can only tell me so much: I want to see exactly where you all are."

My ribs instantly started crying. My poor heart was being torn in two: on one hand this was about to be hell, on the other hand I was clearly getting the Kakashi's attention.

Being the optimist I was, though, I settled on the positive note that I was catching Kakashi's attention. In time, I was certain he would be so tired from my advances that he would give up and allow me all the butt pinches I wanted.

There is something wrong with you.

Naruto cried out, "But that's so boring! Aren't you supposed to teach us something cool?"

"Idiot, they don't teach fresh academy students the first week of becoming Genin high level ninjutsu," Sasuke snapped. "That's second week, minimum.

"Oh, okay."

Kakashi only continued to smile at us. "What are you waiting for? Chop-chop."

Day Two:

"Sensei!" I cheered. "I made everyone more bentos. Here you go."

There was a blinding flash of light and in a single heartbeat the delicate bento box I had crafted for Kakashi was shattered into a pile of splinters and mush. My lip jutted out into a pout as I dropped the remainders onto the ground and wiped my hands on my shirt (I had decided to keep my hoodie off while I trained).

"Damn it, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto shouted. "If you didn't want it, let one of us have it! That's free food! And Sakura-chan is a crazy good cook."

Sasuke, who also had yet to take one of my bentos (he flat out declined and gave it to Naruto) and likely would not for a while, narrowed his eyes at Naruto's words. "You're biased. There's no way we could trust your judgement in that."

A frown tugged on my lips. "I actually am an amazing cook."

I had a combination of my own experience, and Sakura's memories (the girl cooked every day with her mother and for a while every weekend with her grandmother) which resulted in some bomb ass food.

Kakashi shrugged. "Maa, maa. How are your ribs, Sakura?"

"Still bruised. My whole body is bruised now, actually."

"Superb. Let's do some upper-body strength testing today."

"Go until we drop?" Naruto sullenly asked.

"You know me so well."

Day Three:

"Sensei! Here's your bento!"

The ground rumbled underneath my feet before a pillar shot up right in between my outstretched arms and knocked the lunch high up into the air.

"No," Naruto cried out in despair. "She made pizza!"

"You didn't know about pizza before today; is it really that good?" Sasuke muttered, staring at the bento box he had given to Naruto (Naruto had taken a tentative bite into the homemade mini pizzas before he inhaled his box, then Sasuke's).

"It had fresh tomato sauce with a special combination of spices and herbs," I put in mildly, watching Sasuke's eyebrow twitch minutely.

"Tomato sauce?" he said slowly. "What do you mean?"

"You and Kakashi will just have to try it and find out," I responded simply. The pillar crumbled away into a soft pile of dirt.

Kakashi chuckled. "Enough playing around, children. Today I will take you through my favorite obstacle course. It was created by a good friend of mine. A very," he paused, "youthful friend."

Oh, God.

We got this!

Day Four:

"Here, Sensei," I purred, holding out his bento with my one good arm.

Kakashi "coughed" and a multitude of spears pierced through the bento.

Naruto dropped to his knees in anguish. "Why are you doing this to us?!"

"Okay, she can not be that good of a cook," Sasuke declared.

"You that sure?" I asked him.

He hesitated. "You can't be."

"I'm thinking about a meat lover's pizza tomorrow," I hummed. "Would that make you feel better, Naruto?"

Naruto sniffled. "I want extra pork on mine."

"Okay, you can have extra pork, little man."

Kakashi clapped his hands. "It's time to get to work, my cute little students! Sakura, how long will your arm be in a sling?"

"The doctor said as long as I didn't fall into any more spike pits everything should be healed up in a few days."

"Great. Then let's move on to Obstacle Course Level Two!"

If the three of us looked a bit paler at his words, we would never admit it.

Day Five:

"Se-en-se-ei," I sung holding out his homemade bento. "I made this special for you."

Within the blink of an eye the bento had been knocked out of my hand and nailed to a nearby tree.

Naruto let out a wail.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sasuke demanded, clutching his own empty bento box.

Kakashi blinked. "Is it really that good?"

"Tomato. Sauce."

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head. "Hmm. Oh, well. Time for Obstacle Course Level Three!"

"I hate you," Naruto told him.

"I'm okay with that."

Day Six:

"Kakashi-sensei, I—"

Kakashi poofed into a plume of white smoke, only to be replaced by a note that said:

Self-training day. See you tomorrow.

The three of us stared at the note with mixed expressions.

Sasuke shoved his hands in his pocket. "I'll eat his bento, then."

"The hell you will," Naruto growled.

"Why won't he eat my food?" I wondered. "It's not like I'll drug him this early on in our relationship. We don't have a safe word, yet."

Both boys shuffled a few inches away from me.

Day Seven:

"I'm disappointed in you three," Kakashi began before I could even open my mouth. Then I heard what he said, and my heart positively shattered into a thousand little pieces, because that was the opposite of praise. That was anti-praise that he dished out on us.

A low keening noise crawled out of my throat, and I fell to my knees under the heavy burden those cruel words placed upon me.

"You broke her," Naruto accused, kneeling down and patting my back.

I curled into a fetal position, moaning in pain.

"Why would you break our chef?" Sasuke asked, glaring at Kakashi.

Kakashi was stupefied. "All I said was that I was disappointed—"

The moan turned into a wail of despair.

Naruto and Sasuke glowered at Kakashi. "How is she supposed to keep making food if you break her? Fix her, now."

"Um," was all Kakashi could say for a solid minute. Then he cleared his throat and kneeled down in front of me. "Sakura? How did I break you?"

"Y-You said the d word," I whispered dreadfully. "How could you?"

Kakashi's right hand drifted up and rubbed at his face. "Right. Okay. I take it back. I'm not disappointed in you."

I sniffled. "Promise?"

"... Yes."

I leapt up onto my feet, eyes bright and a cheerful smile on my face. "Yay! Would you like your bento, Sensei?"

"I'll eat it if you don't want it," Naruto subtly offered.

"It would probably be best if I took it. A ramen addict like yourself doesn't know how to appreciate good food," Sasuke, equally subtle, put in.

"Uh," Kakashi hedged. "Sakura, would it be… alright if I gave the food to someone else, instead? And he eats it on my behalf."

I squealed. "Does that mean you'll take my bento?"

"Sure," Kakashi said slowly. "This is actually a good opportunity to introduce you guys to my summons."

I stilled.

Oh. My. Madara's Sexiness. Doggy time!? At last, is it doggy time?!

Trying to remain utterly cool, I calmly responded. "That sounds great."

I was certain to keep the high-pitched note out of my voice that time. Wouldn't want to scare off Kakashi from summoning the world's cutest summons ever.

"You aren't actually going to give a perfectly good meal to summons," Sasuke incredulously stated.

Instead of verbally responding, Kakashi knelt on the ground, placing his right palm down. There was a puff of smoke and the cutest wootest wittle puggy wuggy ever appeared before us.

Resist, woman! Resist the temptation. We have to play it cool otherwise he'll never summon Pakkun for us again.

I—am—TRYING.

My body quivered with excitement as I tried to contain myself. I lowered myself to Pakkun and whispered, "I love you."

Oh. My. Madara's Sexiness. You are pathetic.

Pakkun tilted his head. "I am pretty loveable."

"And crazy cute," I agreed, my hands itching to touch his paws. "May I please touch your paws?"

"Only good kiddos get to do that. Are you a good kid?" Pakkun asked patiently.

"No," Kakashi denied for me, ignoring my squawk of betrayal. "Pakkun, this my team of minions. Minions, this is one of my summons, Pakkun."

"He looks lame," Naruto muttered.

I gasped, snapping my head around and glaring at the sunshine. "Naruto Uzumaki you apologize this instant. That there is the cutest little ball of badassery you will ever meet."

Naruto scratched his cheek, still looking dubious. "Uh—okay. Sorry, Cutest-Little-Ball-of-Baddassery-I-Will-Ever-Meet."

Pakkun nodded his head slowly. "I get that a lot, don't worry about it kiddo."

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Returning to the point. Sakura, will you not break down again if I give Pakkun my bentos?"

"I would have made doggy treats if I knew you were going to summon the world's cutest dog," I told him, "so I suppose I'll have to settle for him eating your lunch. Although I really think you should try it, Sensei—"

Kakashi clapped his hands. "Then it's settled. Let's finish eating and we'll try Level Three again today."

"What a waste," Naruto grumbled.

Week Two

Day Three:

Every inch of me was sore. I had certainly done extensive work outs before (my sensei demanded each student maintain a certain level of athleticism to attend her higher skill classes), but my body had been built up to that point before I really pushed myself. The lifestyle and athleticism required in the Narutoverse was next level in comparison to my previous life.

Not to mention Sakura's body was significantly weaker and more underdeveloped than what I was used to. I had finished my battle with puberty, so I had grown used to a developed body, only to then be thrown into a twelve year old's body at the start of her battle with puberty. Moreover, Sakura had done next to nothing (aside from dieting) to keep her body in shape.

What I was used to being able to do, and what I wanted to do, I simply could not anymore.

Not that that stopped me, of course. If I wanted to be a badass (which I did) then I had to suck it up and push through. For the past week and a couple of days, Kakashi had put our team through the wringer—something of which he did not do in canon. If I remembered correctly, after the bell test Team Seven had been placed on about a month's worth of D-Ranked missions before Naruto snapped and demanded for a C-Rank.

The fact that Kakashi decided to physically push us every day, seven hours a day (noon to seven) instead of half-assedly sending us on D-ranks meant that something I did changed his mind.

And I knew exactly what I had done to cause that change.

I had made him a teeny-tiny-eensy bit annoyed with me.

So if Kakashi being annoyed with me resulted in him becoming a brutal teacher in a vain attempt to extract vengeance upon me… Well, how could I possibly deny such wonderful training to the team? It was certainly better than weeding someone's garden.

Really. That was my reason for trying to get under Kakashi's skin.

Not at all because it endlessly amused me to make the man squirm.

Honestly.

So, after a brutal session of training, I would crawl my way home and force myself to read at least one chapter out of the texts every night. Never had I been more grateful for an eidetic memory before—I simply would not have been able to to retain any information that I read after such long work outs otherwise.

The past two days, however, I had noticed that I wasn't ready to pass out after the training sessions.

In my previous life, such noticeable improvement so soon would be rarer than the sparkling fart of a unicorn.

With chakra in the Narutoverse, though, it seemed as though almost all basic knowledge of human anatomy, expectations, and whatnot was absolutely worthless.

Which made sense given the stupendous feats some shinobi and kunoichi were able to perform. If they developed the same way as humans from my first life, then it would have been impossible for them to do half the things the manga claimed they could do.

Since everything I had seen thus far only further proved that the manga was one hundred percent accurate, I was inclined to simply believe that the humans of the Narutoverse were just… special.

Keeping that in mind, I took my noticeable improvement as a sign to move on to the next step of my medical training.

Despite my legs screaming at me to stop what I was doing, go home, and take a nice long salt bath.

Are we really doing this? Do you actually think she'll help us?

'Of course she would!' I thought, indignant. 'She's one of the nicest people I know.'

But if her father disapproves it'll never happen.

'Well why would he disapprove this?'

Because.

'Because?'

Because you're a highly suspect person for his precious little girl.

'I am not—okay, so maybe I am a little suspicious, but he doesn't know that!'

Mm-hmm.

I could practically feel my Inner roll her eyes at me. I resisted the urge to stick out my tongue, knowing that it probably wouldn't leave a good impression on those around me.

Those, meaning the Hyūga compound guards.

"Hello," I began, drawing the two men's attention. "My name is Haruno Sakura. I was a fellow classmate of Hinata-chan, and I was hoping I could speak with her in regards to a semi-important matter?"

"Is Hinata-sama expecting you?" the first guard inquired.

"Probably not," I admitted, keeping my grin up, "but given that she's not a Clan Head, that shouldn't really matter, should it?"

"It's typically polite to schedule appointments with heiresses," the second guard explained.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I honestly had no idea."

"It's alright," the second guard reassured me, while the first one glared at me. "Given that you're classmates, I'm sure she won't be bothered. I'll see if she's available."

"Thanks," I chirped.

While the second guard headed inside, I patiently waited. There wasn't much to do aside from wait. The first guard was obviously in no mood to talk with me, and I didn't particularly feel like forcing conversation when I didn't want or have to.

The warm breeze ruffled my hair, causing the ends of it to tickle my cheek. I reached up and tucked part of it behind my ear in the same moment the doors to the compound opened and the first guard came out with Hinata.

"Hey, Hinata-chan," I greeted enthusiastically. "How's it going?"

Hinata awarded me with a cute, shy smile. "W-Well, um, thank you, Sakura-san. Ayomo-san mentioned you had something you wanted to talk with me about?"

I gave her a mock bow. "I do, fair lady! Care to join me for a walk?"

Hinata hesitated a brief moment before smiling again and saying, "Okay."

After a couple of paces heading away from the compound and towards the nearest training ground, I asked, "Would you like to join me for some training after our team sessions?"

Hinata's eyes widened. "Tr-Training? With m-me?"

"Of course," I told her, placing an arm around her shoulders (she made a squeaky noise and blushed). "I want us to become the bestest of friends, and everyone knows the best way to do that is through training?"

"Fr-Friends? With me?" Hinata squeaked out, clear disbelief in her tone.

"Yeah. You're really amazing, Hinata-chan," I told her, smiling. "Besides, since I've decided that I'm going to be Naruto's best friend, I had better become even better friends with his future wife."

Her face was like a rose, and then her eyes rolled back and she promptly passed out. I anticipated that, though (which was why I placed my arm around her) and caught her easily. Although my muscles did complain heavily, I swung her over my shoulder and continued to carry her to the training grounds.

The Hyūga heiress came to about a minute after we arrived and I had already set her down.

When she saw me looking down on her with a smug smile, her cheeks reddened again and she buried her face in her hands. "P-P-Please d-don't s-say th-things like that."

"I won't say it again tonight," I promised, "but I'm only being honest. I really do want us to become good friends, Hinata-chan, and I truly think we would do well to train with each other."

"I'm n-not—"

I squatted down in front of her, placing both of my hands on either side of her cheek and smooshing her face together so she couldn't finish her nonsense talk. "Every time you say something ridiculous like I'm not good, or I can't do that, I am going to smoosh your adorable cheeks together. Understand?"

Hinata nodded her head, and I released her before straightening back up. "Okay, good. You are an amazing kunoichi, Hinata-chan. Anyone who ever tells you otherwise has to deal with me, okay? Now, back to the point: I want to train with you. Will you train with me?"

Hinata's hands wrung together, as she anxiously fidgeted. "I-I would like that, um, but I also have to, um, train with my team."

"I do, too," I told her, "so how about we meet here around seven thirty every night? If one of us doesn't show up, then we'll assume they're busy."

"I c-can do that," Hinata agreed softly. "Wh-What exactly do you want to train in?"

Beaming at her, I pulled open my black backpack and presented her with a pink notebook. Inside the notebook was a detailed training regime I asked Iruka to put together a few days ago. I told him I wanted to train one on one with Hinata, and that I wanted to become an iryo-nin. Iruka was probably one of the best people I could ask for about what exactly Hinata needed the most training in, and how to go about doing that. He wasn't typically able to focus on her given that he had a fairly large class (and Naruto) to deal with, but he certainly had many ideas about how to best help her.