Rope Crafting, but... Slimier

"So," I looked around, "How did you get down here?"

"Look up."

Doing so I noticed a small bit of light, way up in the sky. Well, more likely ceiling, as I'm in a massive cave. "So, you fell?"

"More like thrown in. Issue using that entrance, is it's at least 40 meters up," He said, shaking his head.

"40 meters you say?" I stood up and walked over to the chunk of rock I pulled out of Blondy. It was about 80 cm in length, 12 cm in width at the big end. "Hey Blondy, come here real quick."

"My name is Felix," he said, as he got up. "What do you want?"

"Did you know," I bent over and picked up the large, sharp rock, "the average human intestine is about 8 meters?" I stood back up, my back facing him.

"Yeah, and? I don't see how random anatomy facts are going to help us out of here."

"Well, it means, I only need to do this," I spun and stabbed him in the stomach, careful to avoid his heart and his intestines, "At least five times, six at the max." I pulled out the rock and dropped it to the side, quickly grabbing the new hole with both hands and ripping open his abdomen. While he was still distracted by the pain, I grabbed the top of his small intestine, and ripped it from his stomach. Then I reached in, down toward his ass from the inside, "I really hope vampires don't shit." As I grabbed what I thought was the lowest part of his large intestine, all I got was a scream in response. So I ripped it off there.

"There," I said, laying him in a nearby pool of blood, "now heal up so we can do that again!" I smiled at him as I looked over my prize, checking it for weak spots and making sure it was empty. Luckily, for me it was fully intact, and whether vampires don't shit, or he's been down here too long, it's completely clean.

I walked back over to my soon to be grappling hook, picking it up and figuring out where would be the best spot to tie the first section of gutrope to it. Picking a good spot, I start tying as I walk back over to Blondy. Wait! He said his name was Felix. Okay, Felix. Nice name.

"You're fucking psyco!" Felix screamed at me as the blood around him replace his intestines and fixed his stomach.

"Well I *did* tell you the dripping sound drove me insane. Also, move your hand! I can't see what the blood is doing. I missed this part last time. Besides, like I said, we only need to do this 6 times. So one down, 5 to go!" I watched as the surrounding blood-pool took the shape of his missing organs, then solidified, slowly changing colour to fresh and healthy intestines.

"Fuck you!"

"First off, I think I'm more into girls than guys, so no thanks. Second off, you said we need to get out of here and the closest, possibly the only exit is right above us. Third, you're the asshole who attacked the girl who just saved your life. So, shut up and let me have your intestines." I grabbed the end connected to his stomach again, popped it off like a stubborn stem.

"Gods! Fine, but knock me out. PLEASE!"

"Alright," I replied, reaching for the other end, "how?"

"My head! STAB MY HEAD!"

I paused a moment before grabbing a couple inches away from his anus.

"Won't that kill you?" I ripped it off.

"OH MY GODS THE PAIN!! NO! A long as my heart's fine, I'll heal back up, Now, PLEASE! DO IT! DO IT, NOW! DO I-" *Krushlith*

I really hoped that didn't kill him. I mean yeah, I'm pissed about the bite, and I DO blame him for the dripping, but I don't wanna kill him. That's just mean.

After this time of healing, the pool is gone. So, after getting this segment out, I moved him to a new one. I did this several times. I know, I said we only needed six of them; but, you know, you can never have too much rope, and I doubt he'd let me do this again. After doing this a little over a dozen times there is about 100 meters worth. I would have gone for more; alas, I was running out of blood-pools and puddles to heal him.

The various puddles caught my attention, because I can tell by the smell, these were old; some of them decades; however, they were still liquid. As I thought about it, I was stuck between my curiosity about tasting possibly magic blood, and how gross floor blood is. Curiosity won.

And they were all Felix's blood.

Just how long has he been down here?

Anyway, I laid his head down in a tiny little puddle, after I wound up the gutrope. I carefully withdrew the stone spike from his skull, then watched amazed as the hole filled back up.

His eyes fluttered open and looked at me.

"Ready to get out?" I asked.

"More than you can imagine."

"Good. Now, how good are you at rope climbing?"