MelanieLover

So i know that people will mostly ignore if they think that some diaries, just because there’s nothing interesting in the title, will totally ignore reading but what if. What if there is someone out there who has a lot to say. 

So here I am, typing down whatever comes to my mind and not caring the slightest about what everyone will think about me but only here, where I can stay anonymously. Because we all know how much of a chicken we all are out there in the real life. 

So basically I’m still a teen, a teen who doesn’t recognize the meaning in life. The unspoken world where everyone is trying so hard to fit in. What are we? And what if every step in our life weights so much on our shoulders that lastly you can’t stand it anymore and with a light movement you can end it all. Well if you think that I’m a depressed teenager who is doing drugs and I’m outside drinking with a gang where everyone’s a slut and are getting wasted, then you’re wrong! 

So now I’m here with all my bubbled up emotions that I can’t say to anyone but myself. So stay tuned because I’m about to bring out some attitude and fricking shit into everyone that’s reading whatever the heck this is!


Update: hopefully everyday :)

Diary of a basic teenage girl

Lately I have thought of my life choices. Of course not all of them because I simply don't remember them all. The the big ones are definitely there on my mind. Like when I hade to choose school and what to do with my life. My unborn career and my attitude towards my friends. Some more details and arguments that I have had are also on my mind a lot. Like when I had to choose if I wanted to actually study for that upcoming test or to just go with what ever I remember on the spot. I did that once and let me tell you, it didn't go well and I was really disappointed. 


Today I was with my more distant friend. We where closer long ago but then drifted apart. We meet up at this big ice skating place and skated for about 1 h 30 min. After that we went to the local coffee shop and talked some more. We talked the whole day about what has changed in our life's and more. Today made me realize that the nights that I felt sad that I was drifting apart from my close friends is just natural. Even though I'm really sad, it's a part of what gives us experience and straightens us. I have to accept the fact that we will never be the same, maybe somewhere further in the future we would hang out again but not anytime soon. The friends group that we where was just something that happened. 


I'm kinda depressed... but not at the same time. What's the point in giving into depression when you are still so young and inexperienced. It's just pointless but even so. There are so many people out there that have to deal with depression. Depression is actually a sickness and not a phase, mom! 


But to get back on today's topic. I remember the first novel that I reed on this app (Webnovel). It was Full marks hidden marriage (FMHM). I remember how I was obsessed with it. There was also this event where you could get badges if you meet some specific criteria. I was so close and if given a little more time I would have gotten it but it didn't go to my liking. I was so jealous of those that did get it but at the same time I hold much respect to a fellow FMHM reader. I thought that when I get older I would tell people about how, when I was reading FMHM then it was still updating and I witnessed how it ended. I remember how my little brother told me that he could see if something happened in the novel because of my mood swings. It was quite fun when I think back to those precious times. 


I also remember how I was so excited to read the FMHM comic but the original one changed artist all the time and it ended up with it dropped. Soon after, there came this new one but it changed the plot, graphic design and more. It wasn't to my liking and I was so against it that I'm scared of myself from that time. I admit, I was truly a childish hater, writing hate comments and so. I'm kinda ashamed of myself but if the new artist did change so much from the original story and still called it FMHM, then the artist should have expected so many hate comments from a popular novel at that. 


FMHM is my all time favorite but since it has more then 2000 chapters, I have to spend too much time on my phone/laptop to finish re-reading. That's the time that unfortunately I don't have anymore. 


But now I have reed so much more. It has become something more then a hobby, perhaps an interest to my unknown career or something similar. Currently I'm reading "Bringing the nation's husband home", I just started yesterday and am on chapter 147. I have already seen the anime and read the comic so I thought that I should read the novel as well. To complete it wholly. 


It's fun to escape to another world by simply reading a book. Especially when the book is about something that fills your fulfillment. But for now I should probably escape to the dream world. Perhaps I will see you tomorrow (or not).


Life’s choices