A type of longing

Queen May lived in the tallest tower and spent her days crocheting and sewing the most lovely pieces for the Princess. The little red coat that Princess Ceci favored was her handiwork as well.

The Princess, in all honesty, rarely saw her mother. She had no reason to, no good one anyways. Queen May was always kind, always gentle, and never wore anything different from a frown. She was lovely and had dark hair that sparkled in the sunlight that spilled through the stained windows. Her long lashes fluttered as she hummed. She never grew tired of the same old tune.

But every time when Princess Ceci looked upon her she always thought there was something haunting about how the Queen smiled at her daughter. She wore a gentle countenance with unspoken pride that shined through her eyes. "Hello, my dearest daughter," she greeted when Princess Ceci crept through the door. "What do you need me for?"

The Queen was never demanding and only ever asked what the Princess needed. Princess Ceci was showered with motherly kindness and love. It was suffocating. "Oh…um," Ceci scratched her chin awkwardly. "I was thinking…what's the best way to apologize?"

"Oh my," the Queen tilted her head but her smile was everlasting, "What could possibly have happened for you to need to apologize? You never need to apologize for anything you do, dearest daughter." She offered her motherly wisdom and then held out the long red scarf she'd been in the middle of embroidering. "Look, darling, I was making this for you."

Princess Ceci blinked, "Oh. Thank you, mother."

"What do you think?"

The princess forced a smile, "It's lovely, mother."

The Queen nodded, "I made a piece for your father as well. For when he returns…"

Her eyes were crescent from that never-fading smile but something about them looked vacant. Princess Ceci only nodded quietly before slipping away from the tower. In the end, she still wasn't quite sure how she was supposed to go about her apology. Everyone in the castle had given her such useless advice.

Princess Ceci sighed, dejected. Her heart was tumultuous of late and she blamed it on the Festival of Remembrance. It was coming in only a few days and she couldn't help but feel like her time was running out. She needed to apologize quickly. Even the Princess could understand that she was in the wrong this time.

The next day she swallowed her pride and marched up to November after the last period. The whole class had their eyes on her and Ceci felt encouraged by their gaze. "November!" She called.

November, who was looking down in a book, suddenly raised his gaze with confused blinking eyes. He looked better lately, the dark circles having alleviated slightly. "…Yes Princess?" He asked hesitantly.

That was when Ceci completely threw out January's advice of just going ahead and apologize. Instead, like a fool, she slammed her hands down on his desk and demanded, "Come with me!"

He was still blinking, stupefied. And Princess Ceci was suddenly scared that he might turn her down. She straightened and tucked her hands behind her back. "Um. Please? It'll be fun, I promise!" She chirped at him.

"..." November took his time to snap out of stupor but eventually he smiled at her, "Okay. Let me pack up."

She beamed at him and nodded. November, no longer enchanted by her magic, took his time to put away all his books into his bag. He was slow and elegant in his movements and gave the impression of being put together.

However, somewhere in the depth of Ceci's heart, she knew that this person was rather clumsy. Ever so eager, she slipped her arm through his when all his books were put away and his bag was slung over his shoulder, "Hurry! Let's go!"

His smile was patient and only gave her a slow a chuckle when she tugged him along.

For this special occasion, she brought him to a magnificent fair that came to the center of the city. "Wow. What's all this?" November looked up at all the strange things set about in the square. There was a big circus tent and a Ferris wheel that watched over it. People strung about, laughing and frolicking. There were game stalls with owners beckoning for children to have a try and clowns handing out balloons and cotton candy.

"It's a fair," the Princess explained, her eyes dazzled with that golden sparkle, " and it's magic."

"It's wonderful," November laughed, "so I guess you want to play around?"

The Princess rolled her eyes and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "I'm not a child. But you know, this kind of magic can only happen once a year. So let's have fun!"

Again she looped her hands around his arm and pulled him to the nearest game stall.

"Hello, young man! Princess Ceci! It's an honor to have you here!" The owner bellowed loudly, "Please have a try! Throw some rings!" He handed them a set of hoops, some wide and others small. "If you can toss all the rings around the peg, you can win the grand prize!"

The grand prize turned out to be a giant wolf plushie, with striking similarities to the Princess's wonderful Kiera. "Oh, November! You have to get this for me, you just have to!" She chirped like an excited puppy, squealing after the toy.

November stared at the peg that stood several feet away. Then he stared at the hoops in his hand, each a size smaller than the last. He frowned. The big prize didn't seem that probable so he pointed at a smaller stuffed animal of a little serpent with a silly gaping mouth, "How about that one instead?"

Princess Ceci rolled her eyes, "Don't you know the saying 'set your eyes on the prize'? Please! You're going to have to aim higher than that!"

"That…doesn't seem very realistic," he laughed nervously.

"...Just try your best, okay?" Princess Ceci's smile was encouraging and for a moment she looked rather young than her years.

November smiled back, "As you wish, Your Highness."

He started with the biggest ring. But his toss was clumsy and he felt his wrist flick a little too strong. Luckily, the hoop was large and managed to catch its target a hair's width.

Princess Ceci held her breath, "C'mon November!" She cheered.

The next two rings manage to find their way to their target by some stroke of luck and gave November the illusion that he was getting the hang of things. But he was way overconfident! The following throw went too wide and landed not even close to the peg.

"November!" Princess Ceci laughed as she complained, "You were supposed to get me the grand prize!"

He chuckled in response, "Forgive me Your Highness, looks like I've failed you."

"And for such a crime, you shall pay!" A mischievous smirk stretched her lips. November thought this Princess Ceci wasn't so bad. He didn't mind following along with her antics.

In the end, he managed to win her that little ugly snake. The stall owner, enamored, offered to give the big wolf to her anyway. But Princess Ceci laughed and shook her head, saying that the snake, although ugly, was growing on her. As for November's punishment, she demanded that he follow her orders for the rest of the afternoon and evening.

She pulled him to every stall, they tasted all the sweets and popcorn and took a turn on rides like the pirate ship and whirling teacups. By the time they squeezed in together in the Ferris wheel capsule, it was already dark. Lights glittered across Arcadia like earthbound constellations and November marveled at how magical the city looked from above.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Princess Ceci said in a small voice, almost a whisper. The little snake was on her lap with its googly eyes and gaping mouth. She clutched it close with a delicate hand.

November turned his attention back to the skyline. A strange nostalgia hit him, "Yes. It certainly is."

"...Sometimes when I look out to the city I feel like I'm missing someone." The girlish tilt was abandoned and when November chanced a glance, he saw that Ceci was calm with a mature sort of longing upon her face, melancholic.

He wondered who she could be missing? Could it be her distant father? Who rode across distant kingdoms and spun grand tales of heroism from afar?

Ceci, as though reading his mind, continued, "I can't remember who it is either. I just know that there's someone I feel like I'm always looking for, but is no longer there. I keep wondering to myself, why can't this person return to me? But I think a part of me already knows the answer."

She looked towards him, those two ruby eyes sparked with their golden flakes, twinkling like stars that matched the sparkle of city lights below them. And at this moment she was not a girl but a woman.

November found himself struck with a longing he couldn't name. "You need to be strong, Your Highness."

Ceci took a long, shuddering breath, "I know."

She knew. After all, the Festival of Remembrance was soon upon them. And boy, did she need strength.

Because how else would she be able to execute this man in front of her? How was she supposed to kill November? When he too, was once a precious person to her heart. A person that she had loved.