Chapter 033 - Squirt Guns of Justice

*Squirt Squirt* "Ha-Ha-Ha, you'll never catch me, criminal!" Policeman Bob mechanically cried out while shooting his water gun.

*Squirt Squirt Squirt* "Stop right there you evil Police scum! And pay for your crimes against Beeptopia and it's people!" Beep emotionally cried out filled with righteous justice...

Bop angrily watched the cute redheaded girl and the mechanically and mentally challenged robot play Police vs. Criminals, but something was obviously wrong with the situation in front of him Bop thought.

[Hmmm, I wonder what...] Bop pondered.

"Ah! Of course! They're not using real guns!" Bop realized as he shouted to the two to stop.

"Stop! Stop! STOP! How can Police and Criminals fight with only squirting water?!" Bop's shout halted Beep and Policeman Bob's play.

"Eh? Are ya stupid? Why would we play with real guns? Wouldn't that hurt us??? That's the reason why we bought these in the first place!" Beep explained to Bop using common sense.

"E-Eh..." ["Are ya stupid?"]

["stupid?"]

["stupid?"]

["stupid?"]

Beep's word echoed inside Bop's mind and put him into a great shock.

You see after Bop got his sword from Wang Chungs, Beep and Policeman Bob also picked a weapon for themselves.

"I must now pick a weapon to apprehend Criminals with!" Bob spoke in a mechanical voice as he chose a dangerous-looking gun from the shelf.

"But what's this?! This weapon does not have a serial code! Error Error Error" Policeman Bob began complaining.

"Well, we are an illegal 'noodle' shop store, of course, those weapons won't have serial codes... But I assure you, they can still hurt and kill as good as any other gun!" Meiyu reassured with her usual slightly accented voice.

"K-Kill?! H-Hurt?! Policeman Bob! I thought you were an apostle of Justice! How could you stoop to hurting innocent criminals like this?! You're better than this! Policeman Bob!" Beep emotionally preached, of course not without her bias towards criminals... [Kukuku, I'll stop Policeman Bob from buying a weapon to prevent my fellow criminals from getting hurt!] Beep thought to herself, feeling quite smart.

[N-No... I don't think your logic connects Beep... ???Innocent criminals???] Meiyu silently thought.

"Y-You're right! How can I create hurt, when I champion JUSTICE! Madam Meiyu, please show me a harmless weapon..." Policeman Bob, easily tricked by Beep's laughably flawed logic, was filled with newly found determination to get a 'harmless weapon'

[W-What happened to your vow to do anything to capture every Criminal in the world?! And what's the point of buying a weapon that's harmless?!] Meiyu retorted in her mind.

"Yes, yes! That's right Bob! You're becoming a real hero of Justice!" Beep continued her encouragement.

[No he's not!!! And stop encouraging him!] Meiyu, feeling all hope is lost if she let these two on their own devices, turned to Bop for his surprisingly effective 'leadership' skills...

*Swing Swing* "Hahaha, Sword SMASH!"

Sadly, Bop was too busy in a corner swinging his unpractically useless new sword.

"Haa... Never mind, follow me" Meiyu answered, giving up on getting the two actual weapons, Meiyu handed Policeman Bob a squirt gun.

*Squirt Squirt* "I-It's perfect! It doesn't inflict pain PLUS it's also not illegal! It is the perfect weapon for me!" Policeman Bob emotionally stated in a robotic voice, hugging the squirt gun with much affection.

[Yes, you and the squirt gun are indeed a perfect match. You're both useless...] Meiyu sighed.

"K-Kuk! I... I want a squirt gun too..." Beep, suddenly jealous of Policeman Bob's new toy, became depressed as she looked on at Meiyu with forlorn puppy eyes.

"F-Fine goddammit!" Meiyu gave up thinking to herself.

[First, it was Bop and that useless sword, and now, you two just want to buy squirt guns instead of actual guns?! Why did you even go here?!! Go to a toy store instead!!!] Meiyu lamented the wasted emotional energy she gave to the three.

Ever the vengeful soul, Meiyu made sure to charge Bop extra for making her a toy owner...

Currently sitting down on a couch... Bop only had one thing on his mind:

["Are ya stupid?"] Beep's words continued to echo inside Bop's mind.

Bop could still remember Beep's first words to him:

["Bop oniichan~ your so amazing~ (Beep never said this)"]

Or that one time when Bop defeated the hordes of T.H.U.G. goons that attacked the fragile Beep... (There were only three of them!)

Bop could still remember Beep's cheers for him when he defeated them!

["Bop-kun sooo~ cool~ Marry me~ Kya~!"] (This is all Bop's false recollection... Only the townsfolk cheered for Bop, the three silently watched on the side... sadly)

[But now... All is lost!] Bop thought, all the respect and adoration he garnered from Beep gone in an instant...

Bop continued to mull over something even Beep had already forgotten as she already practiced left outside to practice shooting with her squirt gun.

Bop's devastation caused him to think and think. This was probably the hardest thinking Bop has ever done is in his life.

And like a Bodhavista that had meditated for hundreds of years, or like the Buddha under the Bodhi Tree, Bop like an enlightened sage finally had an epiphany:

"What if... I wasn't as smart as I think I am?!"

*Woosh!* A great beam of light came from his forehead and a projection of an almighty being appeared before Bop!

Just kidding, it was just Dude. Though at this moment, Dude really did look like the wise genius proclaimed by many as "The Wizard"

"Bop~ my child..." Dude pretended to look wise, sadly his stoned disposition was just too obvious...

*Whooh* Dude blew some smoke out of his mouth.

"You have reached a level of enlightenment only a few have achieved~" Dude continued with his charade of the 'old wise man' act.

"R-Realy?!" Bop felt hopeful...

"Pfft! Nah nah, I was just kiddin'... But hey, at least you reached normal levels of common sense right~? Before you had like -200 self-awareness, but now ya got 0 or somethin'... But hey, progress' progress amarite?" Dude 'sensitively comforted' Bop...

"You know, I'm starting to think you hang out a lot in my brain cause you have no friends..." Bop answered, visibly annoyed with Dude.

"H-Hey~ man... Uncool! I-I had friends... before... But ya got me wrong Bop ma dude~ I'm not actually inside your mind, I left a small portion of my consciousness in yours! Hehe~"

*Swing* Bop brought out his Disassembling Sword in annoyance.

"A-Alright alright, no need to bring out the sword! Sheesh... You do know I'm a hologram, right? Tsk tsk tsk, know yourself know your enemy and you shall win a hundred battles; -Jaden Smith... Such a wise soul, you should read his works sometime" Dude shook his head at Bop's impatience.