Chapter 11: A Weeping Iris (pt 1)

Judith peeked nervously out from her room, spying Laila stomp down the stairs and Iris crying on her bed. Slowly crossing the hallway to her sister's room, she stepped inside and sat next to Iris, slipping an arm around her shoulder. In soothing motions, she swayed their bodies from side to side a little as she rubbed the other's shoulder, softly asking.

"I didn't hear everything but I'm guessing things went bad?"

Silent, Iris leaned against her sister's shoulder and nodded, fiddling with the ends of her braids as tears dripped down her nose.

"I see. Well, it was bound to happen. Sisters always fight eventually after all, it's how we grow closer."

She snickered a little, pulling her younger sister closer.

"Can you tell me what it was about?"

Iris was quiet, hesitating before giving an answer.

"Laila never tells us anything, she always hides in her own feelings but never acknowledges that we're trying to help her. It's like she doesn't believe we've changed - it's so frustrating!"

"Mmhm. I see that happening. She's a person who likes to solve things by herself in her own way after all."

"But she doesn't have to! And as her sister, we have the right to know how she's feeling and to try helping if she needs it!"

"Even so, I don't think that warranted the comment on her niqab."

Tears icing up in her throat and choking her, Iris froze and bitterly spat out.

"I didn't mean what I said! It just… sort of… slipped out…"

Sighing, Judith calmly pet her hair, slipping her fingers over her sister's brown plaits.

"I know you didn't. We never meant what we say in arguments, I doubt Laila meant what she said either."

Iris's tone didn't sweeten as she closed her eyes in an attempt to stem the flow of water.

"I hope so… or I'm afraid she might never feel comfortable with us again."

Her sister nodded, comforting her for a few more moments before moving.

"Come on, you need to apologise to her."

Furrowing her eyebrows, Iris looked at her.

"What? Now?? No way!"

"Why not?"

"I don't even want to see her face! No way am I saying sorry already, it'll make me look weak."

Judith stared at her in disbelief.

"...you sound a little like our mother right now. Are you serious? Are you going to act childish now and leave me to actually act like the older sister I am?"

Crossing her arms, Iris stayed adamant.

"You're our older sister, of course you need to act like one. But I'm not saying sorry until she does first. Just stay with me here, we can talk to her later."

"Iris you're 17! Stop acting like a 6 year old!"

Shaking her head, Judith turned to the door.

"Whatever, I'll go ask Laila to say sorry first then. I'm sure she'll act more mature than you."

A betrayed look fell onto Iris's face and she reached out before Judith could go.

"Wait! Don't just go straight to her, of she want to solve all of her problems by herself, why not just let her?"

Shaking off her hand, Judith slid her a weird look.

"You were just arguing over how she shouldn't do that. I'd say it's the best time to break her habit."

And with that, she left through the door, leaving Iris alone in her room. Words played on an endless broken phonograph in her head. 'What do you mean?' 'You're a disgrace to this family' 'I feel unsafe' 'I'm sure she'll be more mature' 'stop acting like a 6 year old' 'stop your condescending tone' 'stop this stop' 'stop stop stop stop'

Stop. She weakly cried out, curling into a ball. Her own sister by blood had left her for a sister by other bonds. She didn't want to listen to Iris anymore. She must have liked Laila more. Laila, who was more charismatic and oppurtunistic and honest than she ever was. Who was worse off than her yet thriving better. Who was better than her. Coiled into herself, Iris sighed, not wanting to talk to anyone. That was when she looked up and saw her mother at the doorway.

Stepping lightly on the steps, Judith slid her hand down the banister and leaned over in her search, scanning for the sight of Laila's black jilbab. It didn't seem she was around - not inside the house anyway. She'd expected this, whenever Laila was upset she often went into the garden to let it out. And that was exactly where Judith found her, shovelling dead leaves into a wheelbarrow for compost. Drifting over to her, Judith cleared her throat.

"Ah, Laila? Can we talk?"

Glancing at her, Laila kissed her teeth and shot a glare in her direction. Her tone was irritated as she replied.

"What is it?"

Sighing, Judith tried to ease the topic in.

"Well, I heard some loud shouts and footsteps downwards and I was just wondering if you're alright."

Laila huffed, turning back to the compost.

"I'm fine. Iris is who you should worry about."

"Are you sure? You seem a little angry."

Snapping, Laila shot another glare at her, roughly thrusting the leaves onto the pile.

"Really? A LITTLE angry? Oh I'm fine but I'm more than a little angry. Did you hear any of what she said?"

"I did. That's why I'm talking to you."

Judith nodded, moving to help her work but Laila held up a hand, muttering.

"I can do this myself. Besides, you'll just muck it up like you two always do."

Judith blinked.

"Excuse me?"

The other rolled her eyes, continuing to work.

"You two don't do all the chores I do so I get you aren't perfect but you'd THINK you'd be better when you try. But whatever, I'm normally glad you do anyway."

Judith's eyebrow twitched and she sighed, standing to the side resignedly.

"Well if you're in the mood to talk, can you tell me happened with Iris?"

"It was nothing okay! She just started going on about how I never talk about my feelings or something which is OBVIOUSLY not true, I do that all the time don't I?"

"...no it kinda is true, even right now you're avoiding answering my questions."

Stunned, Laila's eyes widened as she realised she had a point, playing her words over again in her head.

"I...Still! I don't do it as badly as she was implying and it isn't like I'M the one who jabbed at something she used as a safety net."

The line wound round her head tightly, painfully stabbing at her brain as she blinked back tears. 'Your stupid niqab'. Stupid. It was all so stupid. She thought they would be better! She thought they would understand! She thought they would- she felt a hand gently rub against her shoulder, soothingly holding it. Looking to her side, she saw a soft expression of Judith's face. Worry.

"What she said must have really hurt you huh? What you said hurt her too."

Bitter again, Laila looked away.

"Yeah well I didn't mean what I said! I didn't… I don't… I just felt… like I wanted to… whatever, I didn't mean it and she should know that."

"Do you think she did?"

Vision blurry from water slipping down, she glanced back.

"What?"

"Do you really think that Iris meant what she said? Do you really think we haven't changed and that we would say things like that to you?"

Judith had a stern tone and firm look on her face, her eyes laced with concern and fear. Fear that Laila actually believed that.

"...Are you saying you wouldn't?"

Groaning and planting a palm on her face, the other shook her head.

"Goddammit Laila you're 16, not a small child! Can you not see sense? You two were arguing badly, of course neither of you meant what you said!"

"Well you're only 19! You're not an adult! Stop trying to solve everything, I don't care whether she meant it or not she said it!"

"..."

Judith stared at her before beginning to laugh. Laila narrowed her eyes, annoyed.

"Why're you laughing?"

"...Laila I'm 19. I'm literally an adult. Did we forget to teach you basic math?"

"..."

Rage seeped out of Laila, fleeing in fleeting small wisps as she began to laugh as well.

"Ya allah, I completely forgot!"

"You forgot or you could never count?"

"No, it's because you never act your age! It's like you're the youngest instead of me."

"Now that's some mean words for someone who can't count even after we got you private lessons to make up for no school."

"Shut up!"

Snickering, Judith let down her teasing, relieved as Laila began to relax, less tense than before. The moment floated, easing the tension as the other sighed.

"Ok ok, I get it. I know that she probably didn't mean it either but… I don't want to talk to her right now."

"Why not? You two need to apologise to each other."

"Well…" Laila bit her lip, gripping the edge of her sleeve as her hand rose towards her chest, "what if she doesn't accept my apology? What if she doesn't want to talk to me. What if she starts to hate me for this…"

A hand held hers, gently tearing the sleeve out of her grasp and weavin fingers into hers. Judith chuckled and squeezed her hand, lightly wrapping her sister in a side hug with her other arm.

"That won't happen. How many times do you think I've wrestled with Iris? We're all sisters, we need to argue and make up to keep a strong bond."

"But this is the first time we've-"

"You probably never argued that badly before because both of you kept yourselves happy for the other in fear for yourselves. I did the same but now we're letting each other in and the words cut harder but it's because we care."

"...I guess you're right."

Triumphantly nodding, Judith gently started to lead her inside.

"Yes, I'm right quite often. Now c'mon, let's go say sorry to Iris."