Chapter Eight

Victoria tapped her foot anxiously against the pavement of the train station. Every now and then, she would stand on her toes and strain her neck, looking for her parents. She sighed and shook her head impatiently.

"Calm down, Victoria," Vernon murmured, a hand placed on her arm. "They will come soon enough from New York. No need to rush things."

Victoria smiled apologetically. "I know, but I haven't seen father since I was thirteen. I --"

"Victoria!" Gilbert shouted from the crowd, holding out his arms for his daughter. Victoria stopped speaking and looked up, her eyes suddenly brightening when she eyed her father's figure. She squealed in delight, running up to her father and threw her arms around her father's neck.

"Oh, papa, I am so glad to see you again," Victoria whispered, her eyes closed as she fiercely hugged him.

Gilbert laughed, returning the embrace. "And I am too, Victoria." He pulled away, examining Victoria critically, breaking into a broad, proud smile. "You have grown into a lady now."

Victoria laughed, slipping her arm into her father's. "Thank you, papa. Oh, I am decidedly glad to see you. It's been three to four years."

Guenevere looked at her youngest child without emotion. "Yes, it has," she agreed. "Hello, Victoria."

Victoria's smiles disappeared as she turned around to face her mother. "Hello, mother," she greeted formally with a curtsy.

Guenevere smoothed her hat and picked up her bag. "You are looking well, daughter. Much better than I had thought you would," she added neutrally.

"Thank you, mother," Victoria said quietly, staring intensely at Guenevere. Guenevere returned the stare with a sharp smile of her own. Gilbert looked to and fro at the two women in his life and cleared his throat uncomfortably.

Vernon decided to step in. "Hello, it is a pleasure to see both of you again," he remarked, bowing deeply.

Gilbert turned to look at Vernon in astonishment and then poked Victoria in the ribs. "You didn't tell me Vernon was coming with you, Victoria." Laughing, he heartily shook Vernon's hand. "I hardly recognized you, Vernon."

Vernon smiled slightly. "Thank you, sir."

Guenevere smiled with genuine warmth and kissed Vernon on the cheek. "I am glad to see you, Vernon. You are looking well." She grasped Vernon's hand and placed it between her own.

With his other hand, Vernon subtly grasped Victoria's elbow when he saw her trying to quietly walk away. "Thank you, Lady Sullivan."

Victoria glanced at Vernon in surprise, but she did not say anything. Instead, she lowered her eyes to the ground.

"I suppose that we will see often during our stay here," Guenevere said warmly. She glanced at her daughter mildly, raising an eyebrow. "Haven't you anything to say?"

"No, mother... I really do not have anything to say," Victoria said coldly. She pulled away from Vernon.

Vernon glanced at Victoria, trying to catch her eye. Unable to do so, he remarked, "Let me help you with your bags. I'll get them."

Gilbert glanced at his wife, throwing down his cigar case and his gloves on the dresser. "Must you make relations with Victoria impossible, Guenevere?"

Guenevere looked up from her unpacking. "I am not making relations impossible, Gilbert. Victoria is not being cooperative."

"She is avoiding you. And why not?" Gilbert retorted. "I wouldn't blame her. You've always sided with Amanda, and heaven knows what tricks she played on the family."

"Must you always side with Victoria?" Guenevere demanded, ignoring her things. "You never think that she does wrong, Gilbert. Why? Because she resembles maman?" she asked angrily.

"Because I never approved of Amanda and her behavior," Gilbert answered angrily. "For goodness sakes, Amanda was a two-faced girl. She told you one thing and told me another thing. She was testing everyone. And she realized that you could be had, and that I could not."

Guenevere glared at her husband. "Do not try to put me down, Gilbert Sullivan Brown. I will not tolerate that from you. Besides, you are lying for Victoria's sake."

Gilbert shook his head sadly, the anger dissipating from his stance. "Oh, Guenevere, you don't understand me, do you? Try to look at things from my side, Guen. It wasn't Victoria who drove a wedge in our family. It was Amanda. She was the one with all the demands and --"

Guenevere blanched. "Amanda... she did not drive our family apart, Gilbert. What are you talking about?"

Gilbert grasped his wife's upper arms. "Why are we arguing like this all the time? Because we want to?" He shook his head. "Amanda caused us to argue about every little thing in the family. I'm glad that she broke her betrothal to Vernon. I can see now that I made a grave mistake in betrothing them. Because Victoria belongs with Vernon," he declared triumphantly.

Guenevere was shocked. "Victoria... impossible, Gilbert! She's... she's only a child."

"May I remind you that Amanda was fifteen when she jilted Vernon and became engaged to Theodore?" Gilbert asked brutally. "I see no difference."

Guenevere pulled away and seated herself down in a chair. "But Vernon loves Amanda, Gilbert. She can't possibly..."

"If he still does, then he is a fool," Gilbert remarked mockingly. "And I never took Vernon for a fool."

Guenevere glanced at her husband. "Do you hate your late daughter so much?" she pleaded. "She is your blood, Gilbert."

Gilbert shook his head. "No, I don't hate her. I hate myself for raising her to be a two-faced lady. But do you, Guenevere, hate your present daughter so much as to prevent her from being happy?" he asked quietly.

Guenevere was silent for a moment. She curled her right hand into a fist on her lap. "No, no of course not," she answered quietly. But she refused to meet her husband's eyes.

Gilbert eyed Victoria in the gardens with a young man and frowned. He narrowed his eyes as he examined James' physical assets and nodded his approval reluctantly. Waving a hand from the terrace, Gilbert walked towards his daughter and the stranger. Victoria returned the gesture and ran down the path to greet her father. Placing an arm around his daughter's shoulders, Gilbert glanced at James and extended a hand. "I don't believe I've met you yet," he remarked ruefully.

Victoria smiled proudly. "Father, this is James Callahan. You remember, don't you?" she asked, turning her eyes toward her father's face.

Gilbert closed his eyes and nodded. "Ah yes, I do remember now. James."

James shook the extended hand and bowed formally. "How do you do, sir? I am pleased to have finally met one of the most influential people in Victoria's life."

Gilbert glanced at his daughter, smiling. "Well, she has influenced me more than I have influenced her, I should say." He started walking down the garden path, forcing James to follow him. "So what do you do, James?" he asked casually.

James exchanged a surprised glance with Victoria. "Didn't your daughter tell you, sir?"

Gilbert smiled disarmingly, shaking his head. "If she did, I must have forgotten. Forgive me, James. My memory just isn't what it used to be."

Victoria looked alarmed. "Papa, are you all right?" she asked, concerned. "You never anything of the sort in your letters."

"Didn't want to worry you, dear," Gilbert replied blithely, pinching Victoria's cheek.

"Father," Victoria started again, returning to the formal title. "Are you perfectly sure that you are all right or are you just saying that to soothe me?" she asked sternly.

Gilbert chuckled and pressed a kiss on the top of his daughter's head. "Can't pull anything over you, can I, darling? No, I'm fine, Victoria. Nothing serious."

Victoria tilted her head. She raised an eyebrow. "Are you certain, father? You're not lying to me, are you?"

Gilbert looked down at Victoria in complete innocence. "Me, Victoria? Never."

Victoria did not look convinced, but finally nodded. She turned to James. "Be a dear, James, and keep father company. He has been looking forward to meeting you." She turned to her father again, smiling. "Haven't you, father?"

Gilbert nodded, smiling. "Oh yes, I have," he declared heartily.

Victoria nodded and smiled at James. "Please excuse me. I have something to do, and I've delayed it already too much. If you will..." she nodded to both gentlemen and returned towards the house.

Gilbert noted that his daughter did not kiss James on the cheek nor pat his hand. He turned to James, all smiles. He placed his hands inside his coat pockets. "So James, you are in the stock market," he remarked. "Must be interesting."

James widened his eyes. "Yes, sir, it is."

Gilbert tilted his head and glanced at James out of the corner of his eye. "But let us be gone with this small talk and talk about something more important. Do you have any particular interest in my daughter, James?"

James looked surprised. His back straightened. "Well, sir, I am courting her."

"Ah. Does she know that, James?" Gilbert asked quietly.

James looked even more surprised. "Well, wouldn't she know, sir?" he asked, puzzled.

"Contrary to what she says, she has not mentioned you very often in her letters," Gilbert answered bluntly. "When she does mention you, her sentences portray her feelings of bemusement and discomfort. Let me ask you one thing: do you mean to ask her to marry you, James?"

"Well certainly, sir," James replied, taken aback. "I was going to ask her to marry me before I returned to New York."

"Do you love her?" Gilbert asked quietly. "That is very important to me. If you don't love her, then do not toy with her feelings," he warned.

James nodded gravely. "I love her with all my soul, sir."

"And so does her family and perhaps... another young gentleman," Gilbert said mockingly.

James glanced down at his fingers for a second before looking up again. "I take it, sir, that you do not approve of me," he said quietly.

Gilbert looked amused. "No, I do not disapprove of you, James, but I do have another gentleman in mind. One who I think can make Victoria very happy."

James crossed his fingers. "Sir, I believe I can make her happy. You know that I would try with all the powers within me."

Gilbert waved a hand, shaking his head. "Aye, I know you will try. Let me ask you a question: does my daughter love you?"

James looked uncertain. "Well, sir..."

Gilbert nodded, steepling his fingers. "I see. You're not sure. If you are not sure, then that means Victoria does not love you," he declared decidedly.

James looked up. "Sir, she is a modest young lady. Surely she would not be bold enough -- "

"Look at her behavior today. Victoria was not affectionate with you, was she?" Gilbert asked matter-of-factly.

James shook his head. "No, but she never was, sir."

Gilbert looked at James shrewdly and frowned. "I see." He looked up, half-smiling. "Is Marshall in love with Victoria too?"

"Marshall?" James asked, flabbergasted.

Gilbert nodded impatiently. "Yes, your brother. He seemed very intent... on, let's say catching Victoria's attentions."

James frowned, shaking his head. "Well, I don't think so, sir. At least he has never said anything to me."

"No, of course not," Gilbert nodded, waving a hand. "He wouldn't say so to his own brother, would he, especially when you captured her first?"

James shook his head slowly. "No, I suppose you're right there, sir."

"Looks like I've been right everywhere," Gilbert said dryly. "Now look here, son, you can propose to my daughter. I have no objection to that. But I warn you to expect a rejection, not an acceptance."

For the first time in their conversation, James looked determined. "Why is it you're so sure that she will reject me?" he demanded.

Gilbert turned around without answering. But he turned his head, smiling triumphantly. "Because I know that she loves another. Any more questions, James?"

**********************************************************************************************

Stern entered the dining room, bowing deeply to Grace. He straightened his frame and cleared his throat, with his gloved hand placed over his mouth. "Mrs. Watson, there is a visitor here."

Grace looked up, mildly surprised. "A visitor? We are not expecting anyone."

Stern looked uncomfortable. "He demands that he see all of you, Mrs. Watson. He will not take 'no' for an answer." He shrugged his shoulders apologetically. "I have never seen him before in my life, Mrs. Watson."

Gilbert glanced up and caught his wife's eyes. "Are we expecting anyone from your side, Guen?"

Guenevere shook her head, puzzled. "No, I don't think so. Stern, bring him in."

"Nonsense," Victoria intervened, looking disgusted. "I am going to meet this person right now. There is no need to concede to his wishes, Aunt Grace. We must determine who this person is before we can do anything." She rose from her chair and walked towards the main hallway.

Grace's eyes widened in alarm. "Stern, go follow her. I do not --" she was interrupted by Victoria's surprised tones.

"Teddy!" Victoria exclaimed, too surprised to greet Theodore Wilson with her customary iciness.

Theodore smiled cynically and bowed deeply. "Good evening, milady. And how are you?"

Victoria raised an eyebrow, having recovered her composure. "I see that you have not changed one bit, Teddy Wilson. You are as rude and as boorish as ever," she finished, her voice hardening.

Theodore glanced over Victoria, smiling contemptuously. "And I see that some things have changed," he retorted.

Grace entered the main hallway, her hand extended. "Teddy, we had not expected you this soon," she murmured politely.

Theodore turned to Grace, a smile lighting his eyes. "Ah yes, Mrs. Watson. Always the portrait of kindness. I think that you are one of the few in this family who has never said an unkind word to me, besides Mother Guenevere here," he added.

Guenevere held out both of her hands, smiling and crying at the same time. "Oh Teddy, we thought you would never come," she cried, embracing Theodore warmly.

Theodore returned the embrace briefly. "Yes, I know. I thought that I mightn't either, but things have worked out. How is Brian?" he asked almost tenderly of his son.

"What concern is that of yours?" Victoria snapped. "You deserted him long ago when Amanda died. And now you ask?" she asked spitefully.

Guenevere waved an arm to silence her daughter, glaring at her. "Quiet, Victoria. I will not tolerate such rudeness to your brother," she admonished coldly.

"Brother-in-law, mother," Victoria amended harshly. "The skies will fall that day which I call him 'brother' in nothing but harmonious tones," Victoria declared, smiling faintly. "Excuse me. I fear that my appetite has deserted me." Nodding to her father and Aunt Grace, Victoria removed herself from her surroundings, with an anxious Serena watching her exit.

"Your sister wasn't a fool," Serena remarked the next evening in the bedroom as she dressed for the ball. She moved her head to and fro to examine her hairstyle. "Teddy is extremely handsome."

Victoria put on her pearl earrings. "Yes, he is," she admitted. "But I wouldn't say very much for his character."

"Well..." Serena said doubtfully. She shrugged and twirled around in her new pink waist. "I look ravishing, don't you think?"

"Very sophisticated," Victoria echoed. She smoothed her demure dark blue gown, shot silver, and stood up.

"That hairstyle suits you divinely," Serena complimented graciously. "It looks exceedingly elegant."

"Yes, thank you," Victoria said softly. She bit her lips.

"Your color is always glorious," Serena remarked, pinching her cheeks. "And natural. I can never seem to achieve that."

Victoria smiled. "But your beauty is something to envy." She picked up her wrap from the chair and draped it over her shoulders.

"I thought that I might tell you this," Serena remarked with a forced casualness.

Victoria turned toward Serena. "Yes, Serena?"

"Steven and I are engaged," Serena announced, her eyes shining. "Oh, Victoria, don't look so terribly shocked. His family is going to announce it tonight. It was all a secret until a week ago. Oh, Victoria!"

Victoria turned pale and grasped the chair behind her. "I am very happy for you, Serena," she said dully. "I wish... you and Steven all the best."

Serena kissed Victoria on the cheek. "Oh, thank you, Victoria. You know that I would wish the same for you and James, if you two were engaged."

Victoria smiled slightly. "Yes, yes, I know that." She smiled brightly and stepped back from the chair.

"Let's hurry down. I'm sure everyone is wondering where we went."

Smiling, Vernon walked quietly to where Victoria was seated and pressed a kiss on her cheek. Startled, Victoria looked up. Seeing that it was Vernon, she tilted her head and forced a bright smile.

"Good evening, Vernon," Victoria said with a false cheerfulness. "You look well tonight, Vernon." She smoothed her skirts, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"Thank you, Victoria," Vernon said, searching her eyes. "You look extremely lovely. But is something amiss?" he asked, sitting down next to Victoria, grasping her hands.

"Yes, I would agree with you on that," James interrupted from behind. "She is the loveliest creature here." Stiffening, Vernon abruptly stood up.

"Hello, James," Vernon greeted as cordially as he could.

James smiled a bit icily, placing his hands on Victoria's shoulders. Victoria shifted uncomfortably. "Thank you. You are looking dressed up yourself." He glanced at Victoria with concern. "Are you feeling all right, darling?"

"Yes, of course," Victoria answered briskly, rising from her seat. She removed her shoulders from James' hands and slipped her gloved hand through his arm. She did not meet Vernon's eyes.

Vernon smiled slightly, bowing at the waist slightly. "I will see both of you at dinner and at the ball. Are there any announcements that I should be expecting tonight?" he asked archly, glancing at James.

"No, there is nothing," Victoria replied quietly before James could. "And yes, you will see us."

Vernon bowed one more time before departing. Victoria kept her eyes carefully averted while James continued to watch Vernon's figure. James turned to Victoria, a frown developing between his well-shaped brows. "Was he bothering you, Victoria?"

"No, of course not," Victoria answered shortly as they started walking to the supper hall. "He was being friendly, James."

James glanced at Victoria, shaking his head. "Vernon seemed more than friendly. I thought...Is he in love with you?"

Victoria stopped walking. She was taken aback. "James!" she exclaimed. "What put such an idea in your head?"

James shook his head, recalling the conversation he had had with Victoria's father some time ago. "I'm sorry, but it just seems as if he..."

"Enough," Victoria said sternly. "I do not want to hear anymore. I do not wish to hear your slandering of my friends. Vernon and I are friends, James. And if you cannot accept that... well then, there is nothing I can do." She pulled her arm away from James and walked ahead of him.

James did not understand Victoria's violent reaction. His eyes widened, bewildered. "Of course, Victoria," he murmured.

Suddenly Victoria stopped walking again and turned to James, a bright, lovely smile on her face. She placed her hand daintily in the crook of his arm and lowered her eyes. "Forgive me, James, for being so short with you... but I cannot help it when you... well, when you accuse of me or my friends of rather ridiculous things, you know." She paused, allowing a few seconds to pass by before she spoke again. "I know that I was being disagreeable, and I am sorry. Will you forgive me?" she asked, smiling prettily.

James was flustered and confused by this sudden about face. Nodding slowly, he answered, "Certainly, Victoria, but there is nothing to forgive."

Victoria nodded, maintaining the smile, until she lowered her gaze to eye level. She glanced at Vernon, who had a very lovely young lady on his arm. Without saying another word, she urged James to walk ahead of Vernon and his young lady, her head held high.

"Such a ball, don't you think?" Sarah asked with genuine brightness as she sat down next to Victoria. Her cheeks and eyes glowing.

Victoria smiled at her best friend. "Yes, your ladyship did a wonderful job," she answered over the orchestra's playing.

But the bright, blooming expression died on Sarah's face as she sighed. She leaned closer to Victoria. "Have you met Gerard?" she whispered.

Victoria glanced up, surprised. "Who is Gerard?"

"Gerard Valois," Sarah answered softly, smiling dreamily. "That gentleman there," she pointed out.

Victoria raised an eyebrow. "I've seen him before. He's very popular with the ladies," she added, eyeing Gerard with the bevy of ladies around him.

Sarah nodded. "Yes, I know. But Father introduced him to me. I think he's very nice."

"He's quite debonair," Victoria remarked charitably, unsure of what to think of Sarah's sudden... tendre for this gentleman.

"Do you suppose James knows him?" Sarah asked doubtfully.

Victoria shook her head. "James has never mentioned him to me... perhaps Vernon knows him better," she pointed out.

Sarah glanced at them, shaking her head. "Yes, I see."

"Mr. Valois is no doubt extremely handsome," Victoria admitted. "But... do you suppose he will be devoted to you?"

Sarah sighed miserably. "Oh, Victoria, must you do that? You've ruined my dreams."

Victoria smiled and patted Sarah's hands. "I'm sorry, dear. You know that I did not mean anything by it. It's just that --"

James placed a hand over Victoria's, silencing her. "It's almost time for the after dinner waltz. I am dancing with you, I hope," he added, forcing a smile.

"I believe that this dance was reserved for me," Vernon interrupted, smiling dryly. "You may check on her card if you want to, James."

James glanced at Victoria's card and looked at Victoria with questioning eyes. "I promised Vernon some time ago," Victoria said, finding her voice again. She rose from the chair and placed her hand in Vernon's. "I will see you later, James." She nodded her head to Sarah and followed Vernon to the dance floor.

Vernon glanced at all the dancing couples, the orchestral music, and talking people. "Everyone seems to be enjoying himself. I must admit Aunt Adelaide did a splendid job with the ball," Vernon remarked over the noise.

"Yes, I am in total accord with you," Victoria agreed. She turned her head and smiled slightly. "Your aunt has wonderful taste."

Vernon laughed. "She'll do a marvelous number for my engagement party and William's. Say, is Serena engaged?"

Victoria looked up, surprised. "Why yes. But how did you know?"

"She's wearing an unfamiliar ring on her left hand, Victoria," Vernon replied, grinning. "And from the way she's dancing with Steven... does he happen to be her fiancé?"

Victoria nodded, a small smile on her face. "Yes. The Callahans will announce it tonight."

"Near the end?" Vernon guessed.

"Yes, near the end," Victoria said in accord softly, her eyes misty.

Vernon took Victoria's left hand and fingered her ring finger. "And when may I congratulate you on your engagement to James?"

Victoria glanced down at the ground and forced herself to breathe in deeply before answering. "Hopefully soon."

Vernon's face was unsmiling. His grip on her hand suddenly tightened. "Victoria, I have been meaning to talk to you about that... well, you know... that other night. I don't what to say. My apologies seem inadequate --"

Victoria shook her head, leaving her hand in Vernon's. "No, don't be sorry," she interrupted in an almost pleading and desperate tone. "I... you do not have to be sorry for anything, Vernon. I'm sure you mistook for Amanda, and... I don't blame you. You probably had too much to drink for your own good that night."

Vernon shook his head, puzzled. "No, Victoria, I did not mistake you for Amanda..."

James tapped Vernon on the shoulder. "The waltz is over now. I believe it is my turn," he informed politely but coolly.

Vernon nodded curtly and stepped aside. Victoria glanced at Vernon, a miserable look on her face. But Vernon took no notice of it for he had disappeared into the crowds. Forcing herself to act courageously, she turned quickly to James, a brilliant smile on her face. "Are you enjoying yourself, James?" she asked for the sake of asking something rather than out of consideration for him.

James frowned. "Was he bothering you, darling?" he asked with concern.

Victoria was too flustered to notice the endearment. "Vernon?" she asked absently. "Of course not," she denied.

"He seems to be in love with you," James repeated again.

"You do not seem to have been listening to me, James," Victoria scolded harshly. "I told before that we were only good friends, and I told that you must accept that. Do you not trust me?" she demanded, staring into James' eyes.

James flushed and looked away. "Of course, I trust you, Victoria. It is Vernon --"

"Enough," Victoria interrupted, pulling away from James. She placed her fingertips on her forehead. "I have a headache. I do not wish to dance anymore. Excuse me, please."

Victoria smiled politely to the occasional guest who greeted her or remarked something... well, she could not remember. "Excuse me" was the phrase that she murmured over and over again until she bumped into Marshall, who grasped her by the upper arms, forcing her to face him.

"Hello there," Marshall greeted with amusement. "Running away from someone?"

"I don't have a reason to run away, thank you," Victoria snapped. She rubbed her forehead again. "Now, if you would excuse me --"

Marshall peered into Victoria's eyes and frowned. "Are you sure that you are all right, Victoria? Your eyes --"

"Yes?" Victoria snapped, interrupting Marshall. "Look Marshall, I hope that you're having a good time, but I really need to get to the powder room. I have a terrible headache --"

Marshall pulled Victoria aside and seated her down. "What's wrong?" he asked kindly.

Victoria glanced into Marshall's eyes and shook her head. "Nothing's wrong. I just need some air. This ballroom is terribly crowded," she added with a laugh.

Marshall looked skeptical. "Did James make you angry?"

"We have nothing to be angry about," Victoria answered angrily. "I do wish that you would interrogating and let me go." She pulled her arm from Marshall's hand.

Marshall smiled at Victoria ruefully. "I'm sorry, Victoria. I just wanted -- "

"What's wrong with all of you Callahans?" Victoria asked, extremely exasperated. "You think that you all have the answers to everything. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you don't. Now for the final time, if you would excuse me..."

Marshall rose from his seat and nodded. "Certainly, Victoria."

Victoria glared at Marshall and lifted her skirts, hurrying off the sitting room, which had been arranged as the ladies powder room.

Vernon watched as Steven wrapped his arms around Serena's waist and soundly kissed her. Like all of the other guests, Vernon raised his champagne glass to the happy newly engaged couple and murmured a few words of congratulations. Well, at least of the most guests did. William Creston Byons had turned frightfully pale at the announcement, hiding in a shadow, for once drunk with pain and misery, not with spirits.

But there was another in the room who did not share this joyous moment. That person was James, who watched his younger brother and his fiancee with misery and despair written in his eyes. He and Victoria had met long before Steven and Serena have and yet... it seemed as if he and Victoria were no nearer to becoming engaged than when they first met. For some odd reason, James felt that Victoria was keeping him at a distance. A friendly distance, but it was still a distance. James frowned even more.

"Where's Victoria?" Vernon asked curiously.

James turned around and nodded. "She had a headache and left for the powder room."

Vernon raised an eyebrow. "A headache, you say? She seemed fine when I was waltzing with her."

James smiled faintly. "Well, it seems that the noise and the festivities... she has never liked these types of functions."

Vernon raised an eyebrow again, nodding. He took a sip of his champagne. "No, she never has," he agreed. "But she has never been taken so violently with a headache either, James. She is not that type of person."

"No, I know that," James said quietly. "And I also know that she is not fickle-hearted, and that heart can be with only one." He glanced at Vernon.

Vernon looked at James innocently, holding his champagne glass. "May I ask who it is, James? That is, if you know?" he amended.

James shrugged. "Victoria has her own secrets, Vernon. She has never revealed them to me."

Vernon nodded. "Yes, I know. She is a person of many secrets." He took another sip of his champagne. "But you seem rather unhappy, James. Is something wrong?"

James was going to make up an answer, but suddenly it did not seem to matter anymore. Vernon would find out anyway. "I was planning to propose to her after the ball... but now... I don't think I can wait, especially with Steven and Serena." James glanced at Vernon. "You don't happen to love her too, do you?"

There was a brief, tense silence. Though James scrutinized Vernon's face for some form of reaction, nothing was apparent. "Why should you think that?" Vernon asked with a half-smile. "All the best to you." He raised his champagne glass to James and started to sip it.

Victoria was laughing with Sarah when someone patted her on the shoulder. She turned around, and her smile disappeared. "James," she murmured. "Is... something wrong?"

James smiled apologetically to Sarah as he took Victoria by the arm. "Excuse us, Sarah. I need to talk to Victoria."

Sarah nodded graciously. "Certainly, James."

Victoria glanced at James with a questioning look in her eyes. "Ah, James... uh... where is it that you are taking me? I do not think that I like being abducted like this," she objected quietly.

"We're going for a brief walk outside," James replied without smiling.

"In the snow?" Victoria asked laughingly "You must be insane, James."

James shook his head. "No, no. We'll be sheltered. Now come along," he said impatiently for the first time during their relationship, although Victoria did not seem to notice.

"Steven and Serena looked so happy together," Victoria said half-enviously. She pulled away from James and wrapped one of her arms around the columns on the inner porch of the house. "She looked so happy. I am so glad for her. She deserves all the happiness in the world."

James stuffed his hands in his pockets and stopped walking. He looked surprised. "I thought that you were in the powder room when the engagement was announced."

Victoria looked at James incredulously. "Do you think that I would have missed my favorite cousin's announcement of her engagement, James? Do give me more credit than that," she murmured. Suddenly, she laughed, waving an arm. "Who would have expected? Most of the guests were surprised by such an announcement. Remembering the way they looked at me, I think they were expecting our engagement to be announced." She smiled without mirth and glanced at James. "Doesn't seem as though that's ever going to happen, now does it, James?"

James grasped Victoria's free hand and smiled what Serena called, "his deep, dark, velvety" smile. "Look at me, Victoria."

Victoria released herself from the column and looked at James. The feelings of warmth and love were not present in her right now as it had been when Vernon had held her hand. She looked down at James large, comforting hand, but found that she had no feelings running through her blood. Absently, she listened.

"Victoria, I had planned to ask you this after the ball... but seeing Steve and Serena, I have to do this now," James said decidedly, his voice firm as if he were expecting some sort of objection from Victoria.

Victoria nodded wearily, a lump forming in her throat. "Go on, James. Ask."

"I have known you for nearly a year now," James started, his resolve starting to fail him since Victoria had not made any remark. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I have a feeling that you know what it is I am going to ask. Will you marry me?" He held her hand tightly.

Victoria stared at James, pulling her hand away. Instantly, she knew what she wanted. But James was not one of them. "No, I can't marry you, James. I'm sorry." She turned away.

James was stunned. "Victoria, why can't you?"

Victoria held her hands together. "There are so many reasons, James, and I cannot voice them all tonight. I cannot even explain half of them." She tilted her head and turned it so that her profile was shown off. "In the beginning, James, I thought that I could marry you. You are charming, intelligent, warm... blessed with all the qualities that a lady would want in her future husband. And I tried," she said, her voice breaking. "I tried so hard to love you."

Victoria shook her head, closing her eyes. "Remember that time when I went down to your summerhouse and met Marshall? Did I ever explain why Marshall and I did not get along at first?"

James shook his head, puzzled. "No, you did not. But what does that have to do --"

"He said I was a rare... lady. That I would break your heart, every fiber of your being." She glanced at James, her nostrils flaring at times. "I didn't believe him at the time, James. But your brother was right, wasn't he? I am breaking your heart."

"Victoria..." James called in a beseeching voice.

"Let me go on. I don't love you, James, nor do I ever think I can. My love for you cannot be what you want because it would be forced, not natural. Do you know that I believed myself to fancy Marshall during the time I stayed at your home? It was then I realized I did not love you, James, and that we had nothing meaningful between us," Victoria said quietly, her head held high.

Victoria laughed softly. "You're probably shocked by my confessions. Now the question that you probably want to ask is why did I held on to you for so long? Because I honestly thought that I could love you, that I could try. But I was wrong. And I realized it just now when you proposed to me."

"Then for you it has been only friendship?" James asked with pain.

Victoria turned away, pausing. "Perhaps it was not even friendship but a desire... oh James," she murmured, placing a hand on James' cheek. "I wanted to believe that you were my first romance and that I could run away from my sister's shadow. You've chosen the wrong girl to fall in love with. There are so many things that I have not told you... so many things that you will never understand." She pulled her hand away. "I've used you brutally. Forgive me."

James held out his hands. "There is nothing to forgive, Victoria," he commented, unconsciously echoing the same words he did earlier in the evening. "But Victoria, you know that I would devote my whole life to you and our life together..."

Victoria turned around and grasped James' hands. "Oh, James, do you think I do not know that? Of course I know you could devote your life to the idea of us. I know that you are sincere with every bone in your body. That you would be faithful to me and to me only. That you would be a kind and loving father to our children. I know all that. And I also know that you were going to ask me to marry you in spite of my lack of love for you." She shook her head ruefully. "I would be also faithful to you if I do marry you. And I would devote my life to the idea of us. But I would not be happy. It is a noble thing to try to make another human being happy, James, but I am not one of those noble humans. I am so sorry but no, it's not possible." She took her hands away and lowered her head. "I'm sorry."

James dropped his hands. There was a picture of abject misery on his face. He smiled bravely. "Your father said you would refuse me. I didn't believe him. I thought I had a chance."

Victoria looked up, surprised. "You talked with papa?"

"Yes." James paused. "He also said you loved another."

Victoria shook her head and lied, "No, there is no one. But I can never give you the answer that you want, James." She met his eyes. "Go and forget me, James. Do not let me break your heart. I am unworthy of that. And tell Marshall... good-bye and my apologies."

James leaned down and kissed Victoria on the cheek; it was a dry kiss, a farewell kiss. "I think a man would have to be dead before he could ever forget you, Victoria," James said sadly, miserably. He forced a smile. "Good-bye, Victoria."

Victoria turned away, fighting tears and biting her lower lip. "Good-bye, James."

James bowed and left Victoria alone. Victoria leaned on the column, trying to prevent the tears from coming. Although it was only a few minutes later, which seemed like an eternity to Victoria, she heard footsteps.

"Victoria? Are you all right?" a voice asked.

Victoria nodded and fought to prevent the tears from flowing. But it was no use. She made fists out of her hands. She turned and looked at Vernon, her eyes full of unshed tears. Her voice distant and cold, she remarked, "I have deceived myself. I have deceived him. But I have been so ... so terribly unfair to him."