Chapter Eleven

"I can't believe it will be Christmas Eve soon," Victoria remarked joyfully as she decorated the tree with Serena.

Gilbert looked at his daughter and smiled approvingly. Some of the color had returned to her cheeks, and her usual bright smile was back. The melancholy note in her voice and laughter had also dimmed somewhat. But he was sure that soon that too would be gone. After all, James had meant little to Victoria, and she was young yet.

"Yes, it will be," Gilbert agreed admiringly. "That tree looks lovely."

"Really, Uncle Gil?" Serena asked, extremely pleased. She tossed her bobbed hair back.

"I agree with your Uncle Gil," Guenevere remarked from her chair, avoiding her daughter's eyes. "It does look every inch a queen."

"Christmas Eve is only two weeks away," Serena said joyfully. "And then Steve will arrive here with his family in a week." She smiled brilliantly at her relatives as she placed an ornament on a branch. "I cannot wait for him, Victoria. His letters and his calls from New York are never going to be enough for me."

Victoria smiled benignly. "Just make sure that your love doesn't die for him." Serena snorted at Victoria, who laughed.

"Is James coming too?" Gilbert asked curiously, interrupting the girls' reverie.

"Well certainly," Serena replied with a surprised glance at her uncle. "He's Steven's brother. And of course, he's coming to see Victoria," she added, glancing at her cousin.

Gilbert raised an eyebrow and glanced at his daughter. "Is he, daughter?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, he is," Victoria answered for Serena, refusing to meet her father's eyes. "He told me that he will. We are still friends, papa, if nothing else."

Serena threw Victoria a puzzled glance. "Isn't James... going to ask you to marry him? I don't understand... this friendship aspect."

Victoria fiddled with an ornament in her hands before carefully placing it on the tree and avoiding Serena's probing gaze. "No," she answered finally. It was all right now for the truth to come out. Everyone was bound to find out anyway. "He already asked me, Serena. I declined him."

Serena bit her lower lip, looking genuinely contrite. "I'm sorry, Victoria," she said sincerely.

Victoria looked up with a sad smile. "So am I." She held up the ornament she was holding. "Now let's finish decorating this tree or else we might have a Christmas without it."

Grace laughed, seeing Victoria's and Sarah's noses so red, and bundles in their arms. "Lay them down, girls. And lay your coats and hats down too. I'll get some rich hot cocoa ready."

"That sounds wonderful, Mrs. Watson," Sarah said gratefully.

Grace smiled and disappeared into the kitchen hallway. Victoria and Sarah shook their coats and hats before hanging them up on the coat rack. "They are awfully wet," Sarah remarked, wrinkling her nose.

"Yes," Victoria agreed. She rubbed her hands together to warm them. "Come, let us warm ourselves near the fire in the sitting room."

"Have you seen Vernon lately?" Sarah asked carelessly as they walked into the sitting room.

Victoria's cheerful expression disappeared. "Why yes, I have. But why do you ask?"

"It seems her ladyship is trying to matchmake Vernon and Arabella, but it will never work," Sarah declared, rubbing her hands lightly over the fire. "I learned this at a party that I had attended some time ago." She snorted.

"Yes, I had heard as well," Victoria responded quietly, lifting her hands away from the warmth of the fire. Suddenly, her hands did not seem so cold anymore.

"I wouldn't trust her to matchmake my cat," Sarah said with contempt. "She is dreaming. Vernon will never marry Arabella, even if that is what they want."

"Why not?" Victoria asked, facing her friend. "Arabella is exquisitely beautiful. She is very stylish and charming. She would make a wonderful doctor's wife."

"Oh yes. She would bankrupt Vernon with all her demands," Sarah said sarcastically. "And she's also conceited and full of herself. Can you honestly imagine someone like Arabella married to Vernon?"

"Perhaps," Victoria replied softly. "Vernon is a good person, Sarah, but he is not immune to a young lady's charms, no matter how ill-conceived and false they may seem to us."

Sarah sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh Victoria, why can't you ever see... why can't see things... oh why can't you be less charitable?"

"I try to be charitable as possible," Victoria explained with a half-smile. "Though sometimes I must admit that I find it difficult."

Sarah shook her head, sighing. "You're too much, Victoria."

Victoria smiled, and stepped away from the fire.

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Adelaide threw her shawl around her shoulders and sedately walked downstairs. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and called Wilson.

"Wilson, is Vernon home yet?"

Wilson shook her head. "No, your ladyship. He told me to expect him by dinner." He took Adelaide's shawl and bowed. "How was your visit with Miss Stuart?"

"Oh that wretched boy," Adelaide muttered. She looked up and snorted. "Oh, all right. Quite productive, I might add. Wilson, tell Vernon to come to my dressing room after dinner. And Wilson, I want my dinner upstairs."

Wilson nodded. "Yes, your ladyship."

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"Is something wrong?" a kind, deep voice asked behind Victoria as she wandered aimlessly through her gardens.

Victoria started, but felt herself smiling when she realized who the owner of the voice was. It was their usual ritual - she would extend her hands to Vernon in warm greeting. Sometimes, her heart would flutter when he grasped her hands and press a light, social caress on her cheek.

As he did now.

Then Victoria would pull away from him for the fear that he would read an emotion in her eyes that she was not ready to name.

"How kind of you to come here," Victoria remarked, turning away. "You did not need to. I am sure that you have other obligations," she added, remembering her conversation with Sarah.

Vernon grinned and slipped his hands into his pockets. "What other obligations? Tending to Aunt Adelaide? Well, she has plenty of servants to do that for her."

Victoria smiled. "No, nothing's wrong to answer your first question. But how are you?"

Vernon shrugged, tilting his head from side to side, chuckling. "All right. School is never easy."

"No, I... I can't say that it is," Victoria agreed, pressing her hands against her stomach.

Vernon's merry expression disappeared. "You didn't want to be alone, did you?" he asked with concern. "Your father told me where you were, and so I thought..."

Victoria took a deep breath and shook her head. She forced a smile. "No. You know that you are always welcome, no matter what. I value your company very much."

Vernon frowned. "But you seem unhappy."

Victoria shook her head, sighing. "Oh, I'm not unhappy. Perhaps worried about my meeting with James soon... but no, I'm not unhappy," she finished, smiling brilliantly at Vernon. "Why would I be?"

Vernon shook his head, placing his hands on Victoria's shoulders. "Victoria, just remember that you can confide in me, and that I would never tell anyone what you --"

Victoria turned her head slightly to glance down at Vernon's hands on her shoulders. "I know that, Vernon. I would doubt other people's promises, but I would not yours."

"Thank you," Vernon said softly, bending his golden head down slightly.

Victoria nodded, stifling the feelings of warmth in her and held her breath, waiting.

Vernon smoothed away a stray strand of hair away from Victoria's face and pulled away gently. "I think that I will return to the house now."

Victoria looked concerned. "Vernon, don't you want to stay a bit longer and --"

Vernon chuckled. "Not today. I have a great deal of work to do, and if I don't do it now because of you, I will never do it." He lifted a finger to rub Victoria's nose and smiled tenderly at her. He let the finger rest on her cheek for a moment before straightening his back. "Wish me luck on my work. But I will walk you back home if you wish ..."

"No, Vernon, go on home," Victoria urged gently. She laid her hand on his arm and nodded. "This way is quicker, and besides you... I need time by myself."

Vernon nodded understandingly and kissed Victoria on the cheek. "I'll see you soon, then. Good-bye, Victoria."

"Good-bye, Vernon," Victoria crossed her arms across her chest and pressed her lips together tightly. And upstairs in the house, a tall, masculine figure had watched the whole scene; he nodded approvingly.

* *********************************************************************************************

Victoria poured herself a glass of punch and stood aside from the crowd, taking a small sip of her drink. She glanced upstairs for a moment, shaking her head as she remembered how Serena was toiling over her evening gown, refusing to wear one and then changing her mind. She laughed to herself. I hope that I am not as ... well, particular as she is about my dress at my engagement party. Victoria took another sip of her drink.

"Victoria?" a voice asked incredulously.

Victoria turned around, a tentative smile on her face. She shook hands with James in a cordial and unaffected manner. "Hello, James," she greeted kindly.

James kissed Victoria's hand and held it a second longer than necessary. His eyes still showed the pain of their last meeting, although there was no expression on his face. "Good evening, Victoria. How are you?"

Victoria pulled her hand away. "Fine, thank you. I hope you have been fine as well," she said politely, hoping that her expression was neutral.

James was silent for a moment, expecting more. "Yes, I was, thank you."

Victoria smiled, her hands neatly folded in front of her. "You look very handsome tonight, James. I am glad that you are attending your brother's engagement ball," she said gratefully, leaving unsaid what her fear was.

James smiled a bit. "Thank you. Mother was ill, and she could not come... but she sends you her love."

Victoria's bright expression faltered a bit. "Thank you. I appreciate her love very much. Please send my love to her when you see again." She bit her lower lip. "Does she know, James?"

James lowered his eyes before looking up again. "Yes," he replied hoarsely. "She knows. Marshall told her."

Victoria stood still, her face marble. "Marshall told her?" she asked in a stupor.

James nodded miserably. "I'm sorry, Victoria, but..."

Victoria shook her head, coming out of her stupor. "No, don't be sorry, James." She forced a laugh. "She had to know sometime, didn't she? I hope that she does not hate me for it."

James glanced at Victoria's eyes. "Victoria..." he said pleadingly. "Won't you please reconsider?"

With an unbearable slowness, Victoria raised her eyes to meet his. "I have often reconsidered your proposal, James. There have been times when I was so near to calling and... telling you I made a mistake. But that is because I felt guilty, not because I loved you." She took her hands and placed them on James'. "But I can't, James. I don't love you, and I want to marry someone I love and respect. Oh, I do respect you, James. But I don't love you, and our marriage would be a mistake."

James sighed deeply. "Victoria, you know how much you mean to me..."

"I know that I seem heartless," Victoria interrupted. "But I'm not. I've thought about this so carefully. I've tortured myself to no extent trying to make the right decision for both of us." She dropped her hands. "You need someone who will think that you are the center of the world. But I can't do that, James. I can never believe that you are the center of the world. I hated myself for refusing you. I tried to find a reason, but I couldn't, except that I didn't love you."

James shook his head, his voice full of sympathy and grief. "No, Victoria, I see I have caused you unhappiness. Forgive me. I never meant to do that."

Victoria turned around quickly and shook her head. "No, James, I can't forgive you. You've done nothing wrong. I've been heartless and cruel. And I didn't mean to be this way. Oh, James, please forgive me."

James smiled sadly and leaned down to kiss Victoria on the cheek. "As I've said before, there is nothing to forgive, Victoria."

Victoria shook her head. "No, James, there is so much to forgive and so much wrong done." She glanced around the room, and eyed Sarah. "If you will excuse me..." she nearly ran away from James.

James' smile was melancholy as he bowed and left Victoria's presence. He watched her figure disappear into the crowd.

No one suspected that evening that Victoria was feeling confused and unstable. Every moment possible, she would laugh gaily, dance gracefully with her partners, and smile brightly and charmingly to all of her guests. None of her dancing partners had bothered to look into her eyes, only taking her gay facade as the truth.

Except for Vernon. He saw through her facade and wondered about it. Now and then, her blue-green eyes would meet his with an utterly haunted expression in them. Well, that happened whenever she glanced over at James. Then she would look down at her hands, her eyes closed.

"Victoria, you seem much too cheery tonight," Vernon commented, leaning back in his chair.

Victoria turned, looked up and smiled. "Do I? Well, it's because I'm happy." She glanced affectionately at her cousin. "How can I not be? Serena is in love, and Steven returns her love."

Vernon shook his head, placing an index finger on his lips. "But there seems to be something more than just happiness for Serena. Your eyes..."

Victoria opened her lips, then pressed them together. "What about my eyes?" she asked, clearing her throat.

Vernon smiled faintly. "You don't seem happy."

Victoria's eyes widened. "Oh, I'm all right. I don't why I gave you that impression."

"Then... you're not in love with James?" Vernon asked quietly in Victoria's ear so that no one else could listen.

Victoria glanced up at Vernon, surprised. "Vernon, what are you talking about? I thought that I had made myself clear."

Vernon pressed his hand on Victoria's. "You... you glance at him quite often, Victoria, as if you were in love with him," he remarked quietly.

Victoria looked down at her hands, her eyelids lowered over her blue-green eyes. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," she said quietly, laughing a little.

Vernon stared at Victoria's bent head. "I think that you know what I am talking about, Victoria. You're avoiding the answer."

Victoria sighed. "I'm not avoiding the answer, Vernon. You are seeing much more than there is." She shook her head. "I feel sorry for James, and I hate myself for feeling that. But I was the cause of his unhappiness, and I feel responsible for it.

Vernon saw the pain in Victoria's face and nodded slowly. "If you are sure --"

Victoria placed a gloved hand on Vernon's arm and nodded firmly. "Of course, I'm sure," she answered kindly, interrupting Vernon. She smiled for a moment, the glimmer returning to her blue-green eyes. "Thank you for your concern." Leaning over ever so slowly, she pressed a kiss on Vernon's cheek, her lips lingering longer than necessary.

Adelaide shook hands with Victoria, murmuring the usual societal greetings and smiling. She has changed somewhat, Adelaide thought distastefully. Much more developed, I believe, as a conversationalist and as a beauty. Though I really couldn't call her a beauty yet. But a certain magnetism is there in her features, and it would be far from me to deny it, Adelaide thought self-righteously.

Adelaide glanced at Arabella Stuart, who was seated next to her, her hands placed in her lap and her eyes demurely averted to the ground. Adelaide smiled inwardly, immensely pleased with Arabella's behavior and glanced at Victoria. But when she did look at Victoria, she frowned.

Arabella lacked the innate dignity that Victoria had -- Arabella's was attained through years of cultivation at the hands of numerous governesses, finishing schools, her late mother and the ambitions of her father. As Victoria stood there, looking at Adelaide and Arabella with her luminous blue-green eyes, dressed in an emerald-colored silver-encrusted evening gown, she looked like a queen, the kind that you were supposed to find only in fairy tales, not in real life. But Adelaide was forced to admit that Arabella lacked that luster that Victoria had; Arabella looked... looked trained.

"You are looking very fine and rich, my lady," Victoria complimented sincerely.

Adelaide smiled, flattered. "Well, I have the right chair to compliment my evening dress, Victoria. Thank you."

Victoria smiled, raising an eyebrow. "Yes, but we do not all have your fashion sense." She turned to Arabella, holding out a slender hand. "You must be Miss Stuart. Vernon has told me a great deal about you."

Arabella snapped her fan open and laid it on her lap, blushing prettily. "Thank you, my lady," she said, rising and curtsying.

Victoria placed her hand at her side, a little surprised by Arabella's formality. "You need not be formal with me, Miss Stuart. I... prefer to be called Lady Victoria, and nothing else. The title of 'm lady' is more fitting for an older, married person like Lady Byons."

Adelaide nodded approvingly, patting Arabella's hand. "Yes, I had forgotten to tell you that Lady Victoria is not at all a stickler about ... relations and titles. Are you, dear?" she asked sweetly.

Arabella blushed again, this time more out of anger at Adelaide for not having told her the proper thing to do. But she merely smiled. "Oh, I am sorry, Lady Victoria," she murmured, lowering her eyelashes.

Victoria shook her head. "Nonsense. There is nothing to apologize for. You have not done anything wrong." She seated herself next to Arabella, smiling. "Vernon is very good friends with your brother, Peter, I believe."

"Yes, his grace is," Arabella agreed, her dark blue eyes hidden by her eyelids.

Victoria was amused by Arabella's purposeful lowering of the eyes to hide her reactions. "It seems that Vernon was right about your character."

Arabella's eyes widened. "Oh? What did he say?" she asked in feigned innocence.

Victoria laughed easily, taking a glass of water and handed champagne to Adelaide and Arabella. "Oh, I won't tell you that. But I assure you that he has not spoken ill of you."

Arabella's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "How thankful I should be. You and I must get to know each other better," she murmured sweetly, laughing lightly.

Adelaide watched the interaction between Victoria and Arabella and nodded, pleased. She had little doubt that by the evening's end, Arabella would permanently detach Victoria from Vernon through a series of... Adelaide smiled to herself wickedly. Yes, Arabella would know what to do.

Adelaide rose from her chair. "Oh look, Arabella. I have some friends beckoning me. Excuse me, dears, but I must chat with them. I am sure though that you two will have a lovely time together." Waving a hand, she hurriedly rushed toward invisible friends.

Now that Adelaide was gone, Arabella turned to Victoria and opened her eyes. For a brief moment, Victoria gasped inaudibly at the expression in those dark blue eyes -- malice, hatred, determination, triumph, and arrogance. But could they be directed towards me? Victoria asked herself, bewildered by the expression. But I haven't done a thing to her, she thought. This is the first time that I've met her formally or even informally for that matter.

Arabella smiled brilliantly. "Her ladyship always knows the important figures in society." She took a sip of her champagne.

Victoria lowered her blue-green eyes and smiled faintly. "Yes. Her ladyship has been residing here for a long time." She took a sip of her own glass of water.

Arabella raised her glass and lifted an eyebrow. "Her ladyship tells me that you... well it's common knowledge that I hope that you are not offended," she said slyly.

Victoria's smiles disappeared as she raised an eyebrow. She wrapped her hands around her glass and placed it on her lap. "What common knowledge are you talking about, Miss Stuart?"

Arabella feigned a yawn. "Her ladyship mentioned to me that his grace came to America because of a broken heart."

Victoria's lips curved upwards. "I see. And may I ask who broke his heart?"

Arabella laughed lightly, leaning over in a confidential fashion. "She told me that it was your sister, your late sister."

Victoria's eyelids rose, giving Arabella a look into the magnificent blue-green eyes that changed colors as her emotions changed. "Yes, it was my late sister. Is there anything you wish to ask me, Miss Stuart? Because if there is, please, please do not keep silent," she remarked, raising her glass and sipping it.

Arabella tilted her head and looked up haughtily. "We are women, Lady Victoria," she remarked derisively. "Let us not forget that Vernon is a man. A very handsome, rich, eligible young man who deserves the best of young ladies as his wife." She raised her champagne glass and took another sip, smiling condescendingly. "A man that I intend on making my husband or at least my fiancé at the end of this season."

Victoria pressed her lips together. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. Your plans for Vernon have nothing to do with me," she said shortly and coldly.

"Oh come now, Lady Victoria," Arabella said laughingly. "You are his grace's friend, are you not? But a man cannot be friends with a woman without falling in love with her. Men aren't as sensible as we are, you know. We can be friends with men, but me can't be like that with us. Men are like that, you know."

"Miss Stuart -- " Victoria started.

Arabella rose from her seat and turned towards Victoria. "Oh, I mean no harm, and I am not implying anything either. I just wanted to tell that... you may be his grace's close friend. And ... perhaps you may be in love with him yourself." Her expression grew colder when she saw that she drew out no reaction from Victoria. "But I can assure you that I will be the lady standing next to him in the next season, and not you." She raised her champagne glass and smiled maliciously. "Cheers." Victoria watched her slim figure walk through the crowds and heard her voice echo through the air.

Victoria sat up in her bed. She glanced at Serena, who was still sleeping and smiled sadly. There was a serene look on Serena's face. Why should she not be happy? Victoria thought. She is engaged and will be happily married to Steven. Victoria turned her gaze away from Serena and lowered her head. And I am engaged to no one, she thought longingly.

Victoria turned to the windows. The windows were draped with a beautiful, yet delicate pink chiffon cloth. It was still dark, although it was five in the morning. Victoria slipped out of her covers and donned her robe. She put on her slippers and walked downstairs to the family room, where the Christmas tree was surrounded with many presents.

Victoria seated herself next to the presents and picked up a present in blue wrapping paper, tied with white ribbons. She fingered the ribbons absently, as she rubbed one finger against the smooth, shiny wrapping paper. And I... Victoria thought sadly. I am alone here, without a single beau, not that I want any, she added mockingly.

Victoria laid the present back in its place. She shook her head and rose from the floor. She wrapped the robe around herself tighter and walked towards the fireplace, when a male voice stopped her.

"You're certainly up early," he mocked.

Victoria whirled around, her voice extremely cold. "Hello, Teddy. I was not aware that you were in the house."

"No, I returned here last night," Teddy explained.

Victoria held out an icy hand. "Good morning, Teddy, and hello."

Teddy eagerly shook the offered hand. "So this is what you've turned into. Like a cool, icy socialite, with a high instep."

"I was born with a high instep, thank you very much," Victoria answered, her arms crossed across her chest and her eyes glittering.

Teddy nodded. "So I see. You've really turned into what your father wanted you to be, haven't you? Very proud, distant, snubbing people like me... Amanda was much nicer about such matters."

"We shall not speak of my late sister," Victoria requested calmly.

Teddy chuckled. "And why not? She was your sister."

"Father has not raised me in any particular way except to be very careful of people like you," Victoria snapped. "Obviously he was right. And I never understood why Amanda married a scoundrel like you. You weren't worth it."

Teddy laughed, slapping his hand on his knee. "Now, look here, Lady Victoria Brown, you're not being fair. You don't really know me, do you?"

"Of course I know who you are," Victoria answered coldly. "My father looked through your family history to make sure you were decent."

Teddy looked amused. "Really? How thoughtful of him."

"Relations between father and Amanda may not have been... warm, but he loved Amanda all the same. She was his daughter, Teddy."

"Which is why he objected to our marrying even when he loved her?" Teddy asked, taking an offensive stance.

Victoria shook her head and sighed. What use was there in carrying on old feuds? Amanda was dead... and she... had changed since she had last seen Teddy.

"You must understand, Teddy, father loved Vernon like his own. Amanda and Vernon both agreed to the betrothment. Amanda had no objections back then. She was fifteen when that happened. I suppose Amanda loved Vernon in her own twisted way, but not the way she loved you. And sometimes, there is always a lingering question in my mind as to why she agreed to the betrothment in the first place." Victoria turned around and held out her hands pleadingly. "Don't you see, Teddy? There is no use in carrying on this idiotic feud. Amanda's dead, and you married her anyway in the end. You can never earn father's complete love or his complete approval. But grant you, father has never allowed any stranger or even any family member to speak ill of you. Teddy, regardless of the fact that we argue with you vehemently, you are family, and you are Amanda's widower."

Teddy was taken aback. He had not known that Victoria had such power and conviction in her voice when she spoke. Of course he had known her as a proud member of the Brown family, but...

"With Amanda's death, I rested some of my ghosts regarding you," Victoria continued. "Not my ghosts with Amanda, but with you, yes. But you haven't let your own ghosts rest, Teddy. You seem intent to have revenge on us? Why? True, you are not of blood relation, but there is not point in continuing this charade. Not when everyone can be hurt in the end."

Teddy saw Victoria in a different light for the first time in his life. He did not only see the golden hair, but the wisdom and intelligence in the face. Slowly he walked towards Victoria and clasped her hands. "You are right," he said huskily. "You are very right."

Victoria forced a smile, suppressing an urge to shriek. "Thank you, Teddy. And try to understand father. He does not hate you, Teddy."

Teddy nodded. "Yes, thank you, Victoria."

Victoria pulled away and smiled. She turned away to the door to quickly leave before this conversation could be extended.