Chapter Twelve

Victoria closed the letter she had just been reading and held it in her hands. She continued walking along the river and sighed. How wonderful it feels to be spring again, Victoria thought warmly. And to have been seventeen for three months.

Victoria smiled to herself. Aunt Grace had wanted a large birthday party for both of them, but she had adamantly refused. She did not want any birthday party but a quiet dinner among family. No, she did not even want her closest friends, except Sarah, celebrating her birthday.

How selfish I was, Victoria thought with a laugh. But I don't want my birthday to be celebrated with pomp and splendor. I want it to be done simply and with care. I enjoyed having Freddy, Serena, Sarah, Aunt Grace, Uncle George... especially Uncle George. I see so little of him.

Victoria shook her head. It does not feel different to be seventeen. She sighed and shook her head. She opened the letter again and read the part that had made her feel deliriously happy.

"I have met a certain young lady, who is mother's friend's eldest daughter. Her name is Rose Lee Moran. She is a very beautiful person, Victoria, with her strawberry-colored hair and bright blue eyes. I imagine she has had a tragedy in her life, Victoria. She has extremely sad eyes. Mother is quite pleased with her."

Victoria closed the letter slowly and let a laugh. I am free, she thought. Free from bondage and guilt. Oh yes, I am free! She threw her arms up into the air, spinning around.

Serena entered the bedroom with packages in her arms. She kicked the door shut and sighed, dumping the packages on the bed. She sighed, taking off her gloves and sat down in a chair. She took a letter out of her dress pocket and threw it on the floor. "Well, Steven has invited me up to the Hamptons this year," Serena said carelessly. She started to open another letter.

Victoria picked the invitation up and placed it on the bed. "Will you accept?"

Serena stopped and stared at Victoria incredulously. "Of course I will accept, Victoria. Steve's my fiancé. And you are coming with me."

"When did you decide that?" Victoria asked, amused. "I do not think that I could possibly go with you, Serena."

"And why not?" Serena demanded, sitting up in her chair.

Victoria sighed. "Serena..."

Serena shrugged. "You are still friends. There is nothing awkward about the situation."

Victoria sighed. Serena was never delicate about such matters, a little voice said. Why should you? "Serena dear, it is difficult to... be on friendly terms with someone after you refused his proposal."

Serena rolled her eyes. "Victoria, things have not changed. You will be an in-law of the family."

"There is another reason I do not wish to go," Victoria started hesitantly.

Serena's eyes widened in curiosity. "Yes?"

"I don't mean to be conceited, but... Serena, he has fallen in love with a lovely young lady, and I am not going to intrude on his peace," Victoria said firmly. "There would be no need to bring back... memories of what might have been."

"Nonsense," Serena said airily. "I am certain that James is sensible and reasonable about things, and does not overworry like you, Victoria."

Victoria suppressed a sigh. "Serena darling, I do not think that I should be going. In fact, I believe that it would be better if I just stayed home. Couldn't someone else go with you?"

Serena shrugged, not at all bothered. "I already told Steve that you were coming, Victoria. You could always hang around us."

Victoria bolted up from her chair, horrified. "You did what, Serena Watson?"

Serena smiled calmly. "I accepted the invitation for us some time ago."

Victoria shook her head, obviously distressed. "What am I to do with you, Serena?"

Serena shrugged and smiled innocently. "Kill me?" she suggested. She rose from her chair and opened her boxes, chattering brightly. Victoria lips parted as if she were trying to say something but found that her voice was lacking.

* **********************************************************************************************

Victoria pushed the brim of her hat lower to her head to shield her face from the harsh sun. Her hands were encased in wrist-length white gloves, and she wore a grey-colored sleeveless frock which had a white and yellow silk belt with buckles.

"Oh, there's Steven," Serena squealed, dropping her bags and running to him.

Victoria sighed and picked up Serena's bag. She started to walk towards Steven and Serena, when she looked up to find James walking towards her. She stopped and pressed her lips together. James doffed his hat to her, a tremulous smile on his face as he extended his hand. Tentatively, Victoria forced a smile on her face and dropped one bag to grasp the offered hand. She shook it firmly.

"Hello, James," Victoria greeted cordially. "How have you been?"

James had a pained expression on his face, as he forced a smile. He took a bag from Victoria. "I've been better, thank you. And you?"

Victoria shrugged, her eyes hooded. "I am fine as well, James." She tilted her head towards Serena and Steven, who were walking together arm in arm. "Don't they make a lovely couple?" she asked, without a hint of wistfulness in her voice.

James glanced at Victoria before turning his head in the same direction. "Yes, they do."

Victoria continued to stare at Serena and Steven. "It's good to see Serena and Steven so happy," she confided quietly. "Serena... she's always searched for happiness, and I'm glad that she found in Steven." She glanced at James, shaking her head. "I'm glad that one good thing came out of our disaster."

James did not know what to say. He simply nodded. "Yes, I suppose so," he agreed.

Victoria and James started walking again. "I received your last letter just before I came here. I understand that I shall be lucky to meet Miss Moran," she murmured, trying to break the tension that pervaded the air between them.

James glanced at Victoria, searching furtively for any expression of jealousy or pain. But there was only clear joy and relief. "Yes, you will. Mother invited her over for the summer."

"You mentioned her sometimes in your letters, but you never described her to me," Victoria inquired. "What is she like?"

James opened the car door for Victoria as she entered. He took the bags and placed them in the trunk of the car before sitting down in the car and starting the ignition. James glanced at Victoria, who was sitting right next to him. He had been grateful that Steven had brought along his own car to pick up Serena. He could have not borne having Serena in the same car as Victoria. It was some time before James spoke again.

"Rose? There isn't very much to say about her," James asked almost stonily, aloofly. "Well, she's... she is very nice, I suppose."

Victoria laughed easily, her mouth tilted to one side of her face. "James, you've been courting her. I should think that you should know more about her. 'Nice' just does not describe a person adequately for me. I want to know about her life, her personality, her interests. She must be a wonderful girl to have attracted you. How old is she?"

James concentrated on his driving, seeming intent on not glancing at Victoria. Rose could never compare to you, James thought privately. "Twenty. She will be twenty-one in six months."

Victoria sighed. "It seems that everyone is older than I. She must be terribly wise."

"Perhaps," James conceded.

Victoria returned her gaze at the road. "I... And when the two of you be married?"

James could not help it; he glanced at Victoria, listened to the intonation in her voice. "It is likely," he replied quietly. "Are you surprised?"

Victoria shook her head. "No. I'm glad for you." She glanced down at her hands and looked up again, smiling ruefully. "You can never know how glad, James."

James pressed his lips together so firmly that they virtually disappeared from his face. He continued driving, saying nothing.

Belle embraced Victoria and Serena warmly, pressing a kiss on each young lady's tender and fresh cheek. Only affection lingered in those gentle blue eyes, not the bitterness and hard feelings that Belle harbored for Victoria sometimes.

"Oh my, how you have blossomed, Victoria," Belle complimented, holding her back to scrutinize her.

Victoria laughed, pleased by the compliment. "You are looking as lovely and as cool as ever, Mrs. Callahan. Where is Mr. Callahan?"

Belle sighed, delicately pressing her fingers on her forehead. "Up in New York with Marshall. But he'll be down tomorrow and so will Marshall," she added on a cheerier note. "I'm sure that all of you will be eager to see Marshall again." She stepped aside and pushed forward the young lady, who had been silently standing next to her. "Rose darling, this is Lady Victoria Brown, and her cousin, Serena Watson. As I've told you, Serena is our Steve's fiancee. Victoria..." something flickered in Belle's eyes but it disappeared before Victoria could place an emotion on it, "she is one of James' dearest friends. Girls, this is Rose Lee Moran."

Rose Lee Moran stood there proudly, fixing a cool, icy gaze on Victoria, her lips pinched. Her hands were demurely placed in front of her, her large, luminous hazel eyes unblinking. She had exquisite strawberry-blond hair that was undone and hanging down her long torso. She was dressed in an exquisite creation by Paris designers, a muslin dress that had an extremely low waistline endowed with a sash in the back covered with buttons. She had on dark blue leather pumps and flesh colored stockings.

Victoria smiled graciously at Rose, holding out a gloved hand. "I'm pleased to meet you, Miss Moran. James has told me about you. I feel that I know you already."

Rose glanced at James, who was studiously avoiding Rose's eyes. She tried to smile, but the smile did not reach her eyes. "Lady Brown. I suppose I could say the same of you."

Victoria tried to maintain her smile but was puzzled by the cold expression in Rose's eyes. She glanced at James, who was not looking at her. "Is that so? How nice," she said inanely.

"I am certain that we will get to know each other much better as the days go on," Rose said primly. Without waiting for an invitation from James, she slipped her hand into his. Her eyes held an unspoken challenge as she stared at Victoria.

James watched the play of emotions on Rose's and Victoria's face. Deciding that it was time to put a word in, he cleared his throat. "Victoria, you have a friend from Boston just three houses away," he tried to say pleasantly. "Vernon Anderson."

Victoria nodded, turning her gaze away from Rose's, exchanging surprised glances with Serena. "Vernon? Serena --"

Serena shook her head. "No, Vernon never tells me anything. If ever he says anything, he would tell you, not I."

Victoria took off her gloves and shook her head, still surprised. "Well, I must say that... that this is unexpected."

"Yes," James agreed, watching Victoria's face. "I saw him some days ago on the beach with the Stuart family. I believe that he told me that the Stuarts invited him here."

Victoria inwardly cringed, while she straightened her back and smiled as graciously as she could. The Stuarts, she thought dimly, barely hearing the commotion around her. So Arabella has nabbed him after all, she thought numbly. "How kind of the Stuarts. You remember the Stuarts, don't you, James?"

James studied Victoria, which made Rose feel a twinge of jealousy. He wondered at her frigid, expressionless face. "Yes, I do. I particularly remember the daughter, Miss Arabella Stuart. Very beautiful young lady," he remarked.

Victoria smiled, a tinge of sadness in her face. "Yes, she is very beautiful, isn't she?" She glanced down at her shoes before taking a deep breath.

Serena took Victoria's elbow, concerned. "Victoria, are you all right?" she asked, frowning.

Victoria pulled her elbow away and nodded. "Oh yes, I'm fine." She turned to Belle. "Mrs. Callahan, I think that I would like to wash up before I join everyone downstairs. Is it possible that someone could show me to the rooms?"

Victoria opened the door, walking in ahead of Serena and nodding to the servant who had placed the two trunks and the bags down on the floor. She murmured her thanks and smiled briefly. Serena closed the door and took off her gloves and hat, placing them on the dressing table that Victoria and Serena were to share as they did last time.

Victoria sat down on the bed, staring numbly into... into nothing. One hand was placed around the bedpost. Occasionally, her nostrils would flare or she would sigh.

Serena looked up from her changing. "Victoria, are you sure that you are all right?"

Victoria shook her head. "No, I'm not all right. I have a rather severe headache. It came on rather suddenly downstairs when we were all chatting."

Serena took off her traveling clothes and donned a fetching powder blue afternoon dress. She shook her head. "Rose seemed to hate you."

"Well, I suppose that the days will bring some peace to her heart," Victoria murmured automatically without even really listening to Serena.

Serena snorted as she tried to button her dress. "Be a good girl, and would you button me in the back?" she asked kindly.

Victoria nodded and rose from her bed, walking toward Serena. She started to button Serena up mindlessly. "Do you suppose that Vernon will marry Arabella?" she asked suddenly, rather abruptly.

Serena met Victoria's eyes in the mirror, astonished by Victoria's question. "I don't know that, Victoria," she answered honestly after some thought. "I... well, like I've said before, Vernon would tell you certain things, not I." She smoothed her dress down after Victoria had finished buttoning and stood back. "He has never trusted me with anything, you know that," she added with a small smile.

Victoria returned the smile, albeit rather weakly. "Yes, I know."

Serena glanced at Victoria. "Why is it bothering you so, though, Victoria?"

Victoria took a deep breath before answering. "Oh, I don't know. I suppose it is because... I think that Vernon could marry a better person than Arabella Stuart."

Serena stopped fussing with herself as she turned to face her cousin. "Like yourself," she said quietly.

Victoria shook her head, turning away. "Oh no, Serena, not me. I meant... other girls are so --"

Serena frowned. "Victoria, you're not... you're not in love with Vernon, are you?"

Victoria suddenly burst into hysterical laughter, which Serena did not miss. "What are you talking about?" she asked, turning to face Serena. "Why, Vernon's an old friend of the family. He's always been... there for me, and I suppose that I was just thinking that..."

Serena shook her head. "Victoria, just because he was your sister's betrothed, it doesn't mean -- "

Victoria stopped laughing, her face hardening. "No. I'm not in love with him... I just felt sorry for him." She opened her bag and took out her afternoon dress, shaking it to take out the wrinkles. "After all, who wouldn't with Arabella Stuart on his plate?"

Serena raised an eyebrow as she brushed out her hair. She nodded. "If you say so, Victoria," she said blandly. "If you say so."

Rose watched as Belle Callahan doted on Victoria during dinner, conversing brightly with her and treating her as if Victoria were her own daughter. Victoria, in turn, smiled but did not say very much, occasionally taking a sip of her water or offering her thoughts on something. But other than that, she was more ornamental than helpful.

When dinner was over, the ladies entered the drawing room, where somehow Victoria and Rose found themselves sitting next to each other. Rose glanced at Victoria furtively from time to time, grudgingly acknowledging that Victoria seemed as sincere and as kind as James as painted her out to be one night. Rose shuddered as she remembered. That night, they were eating in a New York City restaurant, just the two of them, when he got terribly... well, drunk. And then...

Rose smiled bitterly. He confessed his love for Victoria, whom he had obviously not forgotten. From then on, Rose's relationship with James had changed because of the knowledge that he did not love her. And how she hated that other person...

But Rose found that she could not hate Victoria. How could she hate a girl, a mere girl of seventeen, who had captured James' heart? Victoria had everything: youth, charm, intelligence, a steady wit that seemed to enchant Mrs. Callahan, and sincerity. Rose had little doubt that Victoria's sincerity was genuine and she had little doubt that Victoria did not love James anymore. If she ever did love him. But she was certain that Victoria wished for James to be happy: it showed in every gesture and in every word that she murmured to James.

"May I join you?" Rose asked quietly.

Victoria looked up, surprised to hear Rose speak. "Certainly," she said amiably.

Rose laughed lightly, finding it difficult to hate Victoria. "I suppose that you're surprised to hear my talking to you. Not especially after my reception of you this afternoon."

"No, but I am sure you have your reasons," Victoria said diplomatically.

Rose shrugged, staring into Victoria's luminous blue-green eyes, which were a shimmering blue. "James and Marshall are right. You are very beautiful."

Victoria blinked, astonished. "Thank you. But I... could say the same of you."

Rose laughed bitterly. "I am not beautiful, Victoria. You need not try to assuage me." She stared at Victoria intensely. "Perhaps that is why I hated you so."

"But you are beautiful," Victoria argued. "In your own way." She shook her head. "You have made James far happier than I ever could have."

"I'm sure I don't understand what you're talking about," Rose said.

Victoria's expression was pained as she met Rose's eyes. "No, it isn't possible for my loving James. I do respect him, Miss Moran. Do not doubt that. But I love someone else, Rose. I think I've loved him ever since I was eleven. I hadn't realized it before, but I did just a few months ago."

"You love James, Miss Moran. You could make him the happiest man in the world because you love him," Victoria pleaded. "Don't hate me. I know I've done James a great wrong by leading him on the way I did. But I honestly thought that I could love James, or at least I could try. But I found that I could not, and when he proposed, I had to refuse."

"James loves you very much," Rose said softly. "As gallant as he is, he has never denied that he loved you to me."

"We are friends," Victoria said simply. "James... he is searching for a dream that will never be. Men are like that. But he will forget me soon, as will many others before him." She took Rose's hands. "He loves you. He doesn't know it yet, but he does, you know. I know he does."

"I believe now I can understand why James said he had to be dead before he can forget you," Rose said warmly, all her fears alleviated. "I believe it will be the same for me."

Victoria was surprised. "I am glad you can put me to rest. But do tell me when James proposes. I want to be the first one to wish you all the happiness in the world. I want both of you to be so happy."

Rose impulsively hugged Victoria. "Thank you, Lady Victoria That means a great deal to me. Thank you."

Victoria worked calmly on her embroidery, letting the summer breeze drift into her room. She paused, resting the light material on her lap. How quickly the summer has passed, she thought with a touch of wistfulness. She rose from her chair and walked to the windows.

Leaning her head against the window frame, Victoria sighed. It seemed that everyone was falling in love or engaged like Serena and Steven. It was obvious to all eyes that any day now James and Rose would become engaged as well, although at times... she sensed James' pain whenever he glanced her way and met her eyes. And she, Victoria, had merely acknowledged the glance and smiled at him encouragingly, urging him on silently to forget her and to propose to Rose.

Absently, Victoria's finger played with the chiffon sash of the curtains. How simply magnificent and imperious the blue-green ocean looked from her room, Victoria thought distantly. The ocean was looking more green than blue at this moment, though... like Vernon's eyes. The thought suddenly entered Victoria's head.

Victoria smiled scornfully, shaking her head. She had been able to remove Vernon from her mind well during the past three weeks, but now... well, he was bound to enter her thoughts. As was his imminent engagement to Arabella Stuart, as the old dowagers in the Hamptons said. Not too surprising, she thought, recalling her brief conversation with Arabella a few months ago. Not surprising at all.

Victoria wrapped her arms around her waist and sighed. What had hurt her most, though, was the fact that Vernon had not bothered to call on her or to even tell her that he was coming here. Courtesy demanded --

Victoria closed her eyes. Courtesy demands no such thing from Vernon, she told herself sternly. He can do as he pleases, and he owes no explanation to you. He is not your family member, your best friend, or your lover ... no, he certainly is not that, she said silently, laughing, not out of joy but out of the irony of her situation.

You love him. I never thought that life could be as simple as that, Victoria thought to herself, shaking her head. I always thought that there were certain twists and turns... that life would be more complicated than this, and sometimes it is, she thought ruefully. But as for Vernon... he is simple as is my love for him.

Victoria swallowed the lump in her throat. Take comfort in the fact that you did not lose him -- he was never yours to begin with in the first place. He never belonged anyone but to the Anderson clan. Not even to Amanda. I suppose that is the real reason Amanda broke off her betrothal to Vernon. She realized that Vernon did not belong to her -- one of the few people who didn't. Victoria chuckled to herself. How bitter and angry Amanda must have been. I know that I would have been had I...

There was a knock on the door, interfering in Victoria's thoughts. Victoria turned and nodded. "Come in."

The house butler opened the door, bowing. "My lady, there is a visitor for you."

Victoria turned around completely, one eyebrow raised. "Who is it?"

"The duke of Rochester, your ladyship," the butler answered without a change of expression.

Victoria looked down at her hands. "Why does he wish to see me?"

The butler looked at Victoria curiously without showing it. "He wishes to take my lady on a stroll along the beach."

"I see," Victoria said quietly, as she turned to stare out the window again.

The butler tactfully waited a few minutes before clearing his throat. "What will your answer be?"

Victoria did not answer; she nodded. "Tell him that I shall be down in ten minutes." She still did not remove herself from the window.

Vernon had his hands in his pockets, and his sleeves rolled up, as he walked along the coast of the beach with Victoria. He glanced at Victoria from time to time, smiling tenderly. Victoria had her hands neatly folded in front of her as she gazed around her surroundings from underneath her wide-brimmed hat.

"I haven't you since you arrived here," Vernon remarked.

Victoria smiled serenely. "Yes, I know. I could say the same for you."

Vernon raised an eyebrow. "But I attended all the festive occasions that the residents here planned. You, I recall, did not attend any of them."

Victoria smiled faintly. "There was no reason for me to attend. I do not have a sweetheart, Vernon. So I decided to stay home and do something useful."

"Such as?" Vernon asked skeptically.

Victoria turned to meet Vernon's eyes. "Reading, knitting, writing. Something like that, I suppose."

"And you find that useful?" Vernon asked carefully.

Victoria smiled, the tendrils of hair loosening around her forehead. "Don't you?"

Vernon did not answer as he turned away to continue walking. Victoria ran a little to catch up with him. As she walked, she took off her hat, seeing that the sun was disappearing. She took a sniff of the sea air appreciatively.

"I have come to realize how beautiful the Hamptons are," Victoria murmured softly.

Vernon glanced at Victoria. "Yes, I suppose the beaches are."

Victoria turned to meet Vernon's eyes. "Doesn't Arabella mind your walking with me?"

Vernon shrugged. "Why should she?"

Victoria stopped walking and faced Vernon. "Isn't she... to be your betrothed?" she asked, almost inaudibly.

Before Vernon could reply, Rose called to Victoria. "Victoria, Vernon, hello there!" she exclaimed with delight.

Victoria looked up and waved a hand in return. "Rose, what are you doing here?"

Rose grasped Victoria's hands, breathless. "The butler told me you were on the beach with Vernon, so I came running for you. I have something wonderful to tell you. I cannot believe it myself."

Victoria nodded eagerly, feeling she knew what it was. "Do tell me, Rose. I'd be happy to hear it."

"James proposed to me last night," Rose answered happily. "And I accepted."

Victoria impulsively threw her arms around Rose. "Oh, Rose, I am so happy." She pulled away and examined Rose. "Rose, I'm so glad for you. When is the wedding?"

"In about a year or so," Rose answered frankly. She turned to Vernon. "Will you be there, Vernon, at our wedding?"

Vernon nodded. "Certainly. I am sure Victoria will be there too."

Rose turned to Victoria, her eyes full of so much meaning and emotion that would never be explained in a mere page. "James wanted to see you, Victoria, tonight."

Victoria looked at Rose blankly. "When? He did not tell me this."

Rose smiled slightly. "In his study, Victoria. After dinner."

"All right, Rose. Tell him I will do so," Victoria answered quietly.

Rose smiled brightly. "I must hurry back to the house. I will see you later, Victoria. And I wish you a good journey back to Boston, Vernon, if I do not see you after this."

Vernon nodded. "Certainly, Rose. Good-bye."

Rose nodded with content and turned, running back to the house. Victoria let out a shaky laugh.

"It seems everyone I know is getting married, Vernon," Victoria remarked. "I suppose I will be the only old maid among my generation even though it is my occupation to become a married old lady."

"What nonsense you sputter, Victoria," Vernon objected. He grasped her hand. "Come and sit down here," he ordered, pointing to a large boulder.

The seagulls were screaming, and the ocean lapped the sand gently. Victoria gingerly seated herself on the boulder and looked up at Vernon expectantly. "Well?"

Vernon smiled tenderly. "Do you know how innocent and childish you look when you look at me that way?"

Victoria was taken aback. "Which way? I do?"

Vernon nodded, pushing the brim of Victoria's hat up to see her face better. "But you are a very lovely young lady as I am sure that you know."

Victoria felt distinctly uncomfortable. "Is there anything you wish to ask me, Vernon?"

Vernon knelt on his knees and chuckled. "You never did like to chat up to a topic. Yes, there is something I would like to ask you, but I have been afraid to ask you for I do not think I want to know the answer if you are going to refuse me. But hopefully you will not refuse me as your older sister did. Will you marry me?"

Victoria looked up, astonished. Her eyes widened. Vernon put a large hand over hers. "Now, you needn't look so shocked, Victoria," he said anxiously, entering his lie. "I do think that you did know this was going to come up sometime soon. Surely you did realize how much I cherish you, and adore you for who you are. A few times you let me embrace you, even though I am sure you knew it was not proper. And--"

"Please don't say anymore," Victoria said quietly. "Vernon, listen to me carefully. I would accept you except--"

"Except for what?" Vernon asked impatiently. "I do think that I would be a good husband to you."

Victoria smiled sadly and shook her head, placing a gloved hand on Vernon's cheek. "No, Vernon, it is not that. But Amanda's ghost lies between us, Vernon. You still love her, and I certainly don't blame you if you do..."

Vernon looked incredulous. "Victoria, are you in your right mind? Do you think I would be proposing to you if I were still in love with Amanda? Do you think I would torture you like that?"

Victoria looked helpless and confused. "Vernon, please..."

Vernon grasped Victoria's upper arms and shook her slightly. "I am fond of you, Victoria. I am not going to lie to you. I do not love you, Victoria, as much as you would probably like. But the amount of affection I have for you could be called love. But I do not love Amanda, and as I told you before, and I don't believe I ever did. I do not know what ideas you have in that pretty head of yours, but they are wrong if you think I still love Amanda."

Victoria tried to believe him, but could not. I love him, don't I? Victoria asked herself, her heart beating rapidly. And there's nothing I can do about it, can I? Victoria thought staring into the green depths of Vernon's eyes. "Vernon, you've given me something to cherish for the rest of my life. And I am extremely fond of you, and I know I would be very happy as your wife, but it would not work, Vernon. Both of us live in different worlds, and...

Vernon grasped her hand tightly. "I don't care about that, Victoria. If you are fond of me as you say you are, then say yes."

Victoria bit her lower lip. Perhaps with time, he would come to love her for who she was, and not because she was Amanda's sister. Although she did not know why he would just love her because she was Amanda's sister, for she was so different from Amanda. He has lied, a little voice inside Victoria said. He still loves Amanda. Everyone says he still loves Amanda, and you know that well. For who could not love Amanda, Victoria? Amanda was beautiful, and deceptively sweet, alluring, witty...

Victoria held herself up straighter, determination to fight her ghosts written on her face. If I love him, I should have no qualms, she told herself firmly. And I love him, I will accept him. Victoria nodded. "I will accept you, Vernon." She slid her hand into his.

It was an hour later, in the same area, on the same boulder. Victoria was still seated on the boulder, her expression clear. She stared out into the horizon of the ocean, a small smile touching her lips. Vernon glanced at Victoria.

"Are you all right?" Vernon asked softly, seating himself next to Victoria.

Victoria nodded, her arms wrapped around the waist. "Yes, I'm fine, Vernon."

Vernon hesitated, but asked. "Do you remember what happened an hour ago?"

Victoria turned her head and looked at Vernon. "Did you think I would forget?"

Vernon shook his head. "No, but you seem... dazed and confused."

"Perhaps I am just that," Victoria answered lightly. "I just accepted your marriage proposal."

Vernon took Victoria's hand. "Do you regret doing that?"

"No, of course not," Victoria replied, smiling at him. "No doubts either."

"Do you want to announce our engagement?" Vernon asked, lightly rubbing her fingers. "I will have to get you a ring soon."

Victoria shook her head. "I do not want anyone to know except our respective families, Vernon. At least not yet. I do not know if father told you yet, but he will not allow me to marry anyone until I finish my schooling. And people will talk if we are engaged for four years."

Vernon nodded in agreement. "I agree with your father and your comment that people will talk. I have to finish my schooling also."

Victoria turned to Vernon. "Will the dowager approve?" she asked quietly.

"Of course she will. She has always wanted a Brown daughter to be a part of our family," Vernon replied affectionately.

Because Amanda's dead, it is me, Victoria thought sadly. But there is nothing I could possibly do because Vernon does not love me, even though he says otherwise. "Well, I hope I'm up to par, Vernon. As soon as we return to Boston, we will tell our respective families. I will write to father as soon as I can."

Vernon nodded, brushing away the tendrils of hair away from Victoria's face. "What were you thinking about before? You had this little smile on your face?"

Victoria turned to Vernon, the smile still on her face. "I was thinking of Arabella Stuart."

Vernon looked bewildered. "Whatever for, Victoria?"

Victoria shrugged, suddenly shy. "Well, people have been telling me that... that you and Arabella will be engaged. And I was just thinking..."

Vernon placed both hands on Victoria's cheek and lifted her eyes to his. "Victoria, you didn't believe that, do you?"

Victoria squirmed under Vernon's gaze. "You are very attractive, Vernon, and so is she..."

Vernon pulled her close to him and embraced her. He had his chin on the top of her head. "Everything will be all right, Victoria," he whispered. "You will not marry me with doubts or regrets."

Serena stared at Victoria, surprised and delighted. "Are you serious, Victoria? Engaged to Vernon?"

Victoria nodded. "Yes, I am," she answered quietly. "And do tone your voice down."

Serena shook her head. "I thought you detested him, Victoria. No, no, I mean I thought you were just friends," she amended seeing Victoria's amused expression. "What on earth made you accept?"

Victoria bit her lip, her hands in her lap. "I do think that I am fond of him, Serena. But I'm not sure if he is fond of me," she said doubtfully.

"Of course he is," Serena declared happily, relieved to hear that Victoria had affection for Vernon. "When is the wedding?"

Victoria smiled wanly. "Sometime after my graduation, Serena. You know father will not allow me to get married before my schooling is done."

Serena sighed. "Will our families find out?"

Victoria nodded. "But you are to tell no one, Serena. And I do mean, no one."

Serena sighed and nodded her head. "All right, Victoria. But I am happy for you."

Victoria smiled and hugged Serena warmly. "Thank you. That means a great deal to me."

James looked at the papers on his desk. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose, tired. He glanced at the papers again before gathering them together, banging it on the desk, and tucking them away into his briefcase. He placed his elbows on his desk and steepled his fingers.

James shook his head and placed his forehead on his hands. During the past three weeks, Rose and Victoria had become firm friends, effectively shutting him out. And everytime he glanced at Victoria, he came to realize more and more that she would never belong with him -- she needed someone... well, there was no point in beating a dead horse, he thought with resignation.

So as expected, he, James, proposed to Rose. And as expected, Rose accepted with shining eyes and tears. He opened his eyes and stared at the solid oak wood door of his study. Little did she know that the ring that he had given her... it was the ring that he...

There was a knock on the door, interrupting James' thoughts. James leaned back in his chair, his arms placed on his desk, his hands folded. He tried to force a pleasant smile. "Come in."

Victoria entered, carefully closing the door behind her. "James," she greeted, her hands at her sides, her eyes demurely lowered.

James looked at Victoria with a slight smile on his face. "I suppose you have heard."

Victoria smiled and nodded. Without moving from her spot, she held out her hand. "Congratulations, James. You could not have chosen someone finer."

James rose from his seat and gestured to a chair. Victoria sat down, looking up at him, her eyes brilliant. "Rose said you wanted to see me about something," she remarked, leaning back in her chair.

James seated himself in a chair across from Victoria and crossed his legs. "Yes, I suppose I wanted to talk to you for old times' sakes," he answered with a sad smile on his face.

The bright expression on Victoria's face dimmed. "I see. Well, you have fifteen minutes," she added with a forced cheerfulness. "I need to pack, you see."

There was a certain melancholy air in James' facial expression. "Yes, I know. I have not forgotten that," he said softly without taking his gaze off Victoria.

Victoria fidgeted with her hands, silence enveloping the couple in the study. "So, when is the wedding?" Victoria asked gently, although she already knew the answer.

James' eyes widened, somewhat startled. "Excuse me? Oh, the wedding?" he asked, obviously confused. He quickly chuckled to cover up his faux pas. "It will be in two years. Rose has to go on her European tour before we can get married," he explained.

"European tours are always interesting experiences," Victoria said charitably. "Who is she going with?"

"Her elder sister, Emeline," James replied absently.

Victoria pressed her lips together before speaking again. "That must be a terribly long wait for you. I hardly think... that it pleased you... to have to wait so long, that is," she said hastily.

James steepled his fingers and smiled, although that smile did not reach his serious eyes. "'Good things come to those who wait'," he cited an old adage.

Victoria smiled wanly. "Rose... there are no words to describe my admiration and love for her. She's..." she took a deep breath, smiling tremulously. "Oh, James, don't lose her to a dream, to a dream that... will never materialize." She shook her head. "I'm not worth that, James. Don't lose her."

James threw Victoria a pained glance, as he leaned over, with his elbows on his knees. "Victoria, if you want to marry me, then I will break my engagement off with Rose..."

Victoria looked at James sternly. "James, Rose loves you. How dare you have such ideas in your head? Have you no pride or sense of honor?" she cried. "If you had pride, you would not have asked me such a question after I refused you twice. And as for Rose... do you have no sense of honor concerning her? You asked her to marry you, and marry her, you must do," she said firmly, her lower lip trembling. "She..."

"But what if I am not happy?" James asked wearily.

Victoria looked disdainful. "Rose will make you happy, because she loves you. I do not think you know what love is, James. If you knew, you would have let me live in peace, and wished me happiness. Instead you are tormenting me to no extent for your selfish purposes," she said sneeringly, rising from her seat on the chair. She turned away from James. "If you love me, then you will love Rose, and be good, faithful, and honorable to her. You would not torture me the way you do."

James looked horrified. "Victoria, I never..."

"Of course you didn't," Victoria said harshly. "But you have Rose now. Rose loves you in a way that I never can." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before pivoting to meet James' eyes. "I respect you, James, but I can never love you," she said almost kindly. "You must love Rose. Do not hold onto me, James. I am the past and nothing else."

James stared at Victoria's standing figure and shook his head. "Victoria..."

For a moment, the pain and sorrow that Victoria was feeling flickered on her face. But as quickly as those emotions had appeared, they disappeared. Victoria tried to smile, but failed. "Words seem inadequate to ... explain the relationship or to heal the wounds that I have caused..." she trailed off, frowning.

James rose from his seat, holding out a hand. "Then let us shake hands," he offered, taking a deep breath, trying to smile.

Victoria tentatively took a step toward James, taking his hand. She stared up at him. "You've been so kind. Thank you." She pulled away and rushed towards the door.

Victoria turned around, her hand on the doorknob. "The next time we see each other, we cannot treat each other in a familiar fashion anymore. And please do not write to me anymore. You belong to Rose, not to me." She added softly, "You never did belong to me. And I never belonged to you." With a small smile, she quietly left the room, and closed the door.

Grace looked up from her knitting and smiled fondly at Victoria. She held up a cheek. Victoria kissed Grace on the cheek and seated herself in the seat across from Grace, sighing.

"How was your trip?" Grace asked, smiling.

Victoria nodded, leaning back in the comfortable armchair. "I had a pleasant time." She folded her hands. "I assume that Serena has given you her greetings?"

Grace nodded, ceasing her knitting. "A few minutes before you came in, yes, she did. She said that you had something to tell me." She looked at Victoria questioningly.

Victoria nodded, biting on her lower lip. "Yes... I do." She glanced down at her ungloved hands before speaking. "I'm...engaged, you see. It... it happened during the time that I was there."

Grace's eyes widened in shock. She dropped her work to the floor. "Victoria Regina Brown! To whom? Do we know him?"

Victoria smiled reassuringly. "Yes, you do. You see, Aunt Grace, the unlucky person is Vernon."

Grace was somewhat relieved but still in shock. "Victoria, why on earth did he propose to you? I am quite surprised."

"You could not have been more surprised than I was, Aunt Grace, when he proposed to me," Victoria said quietly with slight laughter in her voice. "He was so unlike James in proposing, but..."

"Victoria, do you love Vernon?" Grace asked seriously, with a frown on her face.

Victoria turned slowly to meet Grace's eyes. "Isn't it, terrible, Aunt Grace? Absolutely vulgar? That I should fall in love with my older sister's former fiancé? That I should accept his proposal, because I love him even though he doesn't love me?"

Grace's expression was worried. "Did you tell you that?"

Victoria shook her head, a small cynical smile on her lips. "No, Aunt Grace, he did not say that. He's too noble to say such things. All he said was that he was extremely fond of me, and that eventually he would come to love me. But I doubt that. He loved Amanda too much to let go of his feelings for her that easily."

"Victoria, he must have put Amanda aside if he proposed to you," Grace said quietly.

Victoria shrugged. "Could he have? I don't know, Aunt Grace. But I do know that I love him more than anyone else in the world, even papa." She knelt at Grace's knee. "Aunt Grace, I know that I would be happy with him."

Grace smoothed Victoria's hair and sighed. "I don't think Vernon has told you what he really feels, Victoria. He is such a reserved person, though I have seen him thaw somewhat with you. But I am sure of one thing, Victoria, knowing Vernon as I do. He must have never loved Amanda, Victoria, or he would not have proposed to you."

Adelaide bolted up in her chair, fanning herself vigorously. "Vernon Richard Anderson! Are you in your right mind? Are you really going to marry Victoria Regina Brown?" she demanded, shaking her head.

Vernon nodded calmly, looking over his letters. "Yes, Aunt Adelaide, I am doing just that," he replied without meeting her eyes.

"Do the Stuarts know?" Adelaide asked in a frantic and hushed voice, glancing at Wilson.

Vernon smiled tiredly. "I told Arabella long ago that I had no intention of marrying her, Aunt Adelaide."

"Then why did the Stuarts invite you?" Adelaide asked, running through all the reasons that Vernon should marry Arabella.

"It was her father who invited me to go to the Hamptons with them," Vernon answered calmly.

Adelaide shook her head, pointing a finger to the door. "Hurry, Vernon. Break off your engagement with Victoria, since there is still time. And reconcile with Arabella. Don't throw a gem away! It is preposterous," she declared in a high, hysterical voice.

Vernon suppressed a sigh. "Aunt Adelaide, I see nothing preposterous about what I did. I am going to marry Lady Victoria Brown whether you like her or not. But I am sure that you will come be very fond of her, Aunt. She is quite a gem, you know," he commented, hiding his smile behind his letters.

Vernon nodded approvingly as he gathered up the rest of his papers. He rose from his chair and pecked Adelaide on the cheek, placing an affectionate hand on her shoulder. "You should not worry yourself out over such insignificant matters, Aunt Adelaide," he reminded gently. "You have your health to worry about, after all."

Adelaide lost her breath, snapping open her fan and waving it furiously underneath her pale face. Wilson suppressed a sigh and continued to wave the smelling salts vigorously under Adelaide's nose.

Victoria walked down the stairs as light as a fairy when she saw that Vernon was waiting for her at the bottom of the steps. An absolutely brilliant smile on her beautiful face, she threw her arms around Vernon, closing her eyes. Vernon pressed his chin on the top of Victoria's head and pecked her golden head.

"Glad to see me?" Vernon asked in an amused voice, his arms firmly around Victoria.

Victoria nodded against Vernon's shoulder, opening her eyes. "Terribly." She hesitated, placing a hand on Vernon's shoulder. "I wrote to father ... about our engagement," she said quietly.

Vernon took Victoria by the shoulders and lifted her off him. "I thought that you might do that. Do you think that your father will approve?" he asked in an almost anxious tone of voice.

Victoria laughed, placing her hands on Vernon's shirt front. "Of course he will approve, Vernon. He has always loved you like his own son."

Vernon chuckled. "I have always respected and admired your father, Victoria. In many respects, he was like a second father to me after my own father passed away."

Victoria smiled up at Vernon. "Oh, I know that father will... well, I suppose that I will let him express his exuberance at our engagement."

"Did you tell your Aunt Grace and the rest of your family?" Vernon asked casually, holding Victoria's hands in his.

Victoria nodded, smiling serenely. "Yes. I told Serena immediately after you... and I told Aunt Grace when I returned home," she answered, blushing slightly.

Vernon squeezed Victoria's hands warmly and kissed her forehead. "Why are you blushing, Victoria?" he asked quietly. "Do you think that our engagement is a mistake?"

Victoria shook her head vigorously. "No, I don't think that it is a mistake for me. But I fear... I fear that you feel that it is a mistake for you," she finished slowly, unable to look at Vernon.

Vernon shook his head gently. He took a finger and lifted Victoria's chin so that she could meet his eyes. "Victoria, if there is anything that I am certain of, it is that we are right for each other. Do you understand me?" he asked firmly but kindly.

Victoria nodded and smiled slightly. "I know that, but --"

Vernon shook his head, placing an index finger on Victoria's lips. "No 'buts', Victoria. I never do anything that I do not want to do. And no, this is the right thing for both of us."

Victoria smiled tiredly, sensing that it was useless to argue with Vernon. "I suppose that it is my youth that hinders me so. I do understand what you're saying, but I still have so many doubts."

Vernon shook his head and drew Victoria slowly into his arms. "You are different from every other girl in this world, Victoria Brown," he scolded lightly, chuckling. "Most girls would be ecstatic in your shoes, being engaged to me. But you? No, not you," he said mockingly, shaking his head.

Victoria rested her head on Vernon's shoulder, content to be there. "Do not misunderstand me, Vernon. I am as happy as you are, but..." she glanced at Vernon and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I won't speak of it anymore."

Vernon pulled away and placed both hands on Victoria's cheek, his forehead leaning against Victoria's. "Victoria."

* * *

Gilbert looked through the mail, sighing in exasperation when he saw invitations to certain parties and balls. I have not intention of attending those silly functions, he reflected. No point in doing that. He aimlessly read through a few more letters and notes before Victoria's.

Gilbert broke into a broad smile as he read the letter. He slapped his leg and laughed brightly. "Guenevere, I told you this would happen! Vernon and Victoria are engaged!" he announced, waving the letter at Guenevere.

Guenevere looked up, shocked. "Vernon and Victoria? When? How?" She took off her lorgnettes and placed them on the table across from her, the displeasure evident on her face.

Gilbert shook his head, folding the letter in satisfaction. "You needn't know that, Guenevere. You would only throw a fit. And besides, she didn't tell me."

Guenevere glared at her husband. "I do not throw fits, Gilbert. I am past that age." She glanced at Gilbert curiously. "What else did she write?"

Gilbert did not answer Guenevere's question as he was occupied with the next letter. He nodded approvingly. "Vernon has asked me for her hand in this letter," he answered, after reading the second letter carefully. "Well of course he has my approval," he said heartily. "I shall be glad to have Vernon as my son-in-law."

Guenevere sighed. "Do you suppose Victoria wants to marry Vernon because she wants revenge on Amanda?" she asked, recalling the conversation between herself and Victoria in Boston.

Now it was Gilbert's turn to glare at Guenevere. "What kind of girl do you think Victoria is? She isn't that kind to be sure!" he declared hotly.

Guenevere shook her head. "No, no of course not. Victoria is not anything like that, I know. But..." she pressed her lips together and forced a smile. "Then I suppose she must really love Vernon, though I find it surprising."

"Of course she does," Gilbert said firmly, putting the precious letters carefully away into his trouser pockets. "And I am quite sure Vernon is in love with our precious daughter."

Guenevere glanced at Gilbert and shook her head, smiling slightly. Gilbert's heart was always with Victoria, no matter where or how far away she was. "Yes, of course, Gil," she agreed, assuaging her husband.

* * *

Victoria glanced around her surroundings, the first ball that she was attending since her return from the Hamptons and since her engagement to Vernon. She glanced furtively at Vernon as she took off her wrap and handed it to the butler, who bowed gracefully. Vernon murmured a word of thanks as he offered Victoria his arm. Victoria accepted, smiling into his eyes.

As Vernon and Victoria entered the main ballroom, she shook hands graciously with her host and hostess. With a light smile, she glided through the crowds of people who greeted her. It was a false smile, although she thought herself to be extremely genuine that night. She walked with a regal elegance. In the eyes of the public, Victoria Brown had turned into a regal beauty. Her smiles and airs seemed natural and unpracticed. Her enchanting blue-green eyes, which had the power to mesmerize people, charmed people and made many young men to fall in love with her. There was no denying that she was starting to find a place in her own right, apart from her late sister and her exquisitely beautiful cousin, Serena.

Already Victoria's and Vernon's entrance were causing whispers among the dowagers and the ambitious mothers. The latter, in particular, was very interested and jealous of this development, because they were intent on catching Vernon for their own daughters. The former were interested because both were members of the British nobility -- anything European fascinated these silly women.

Vernon led Victoria onto the dance floor for the waltz. He chuckled softly. "You look lovely, my dear."

Victoria smiled and leaned back to examine Vernon. "You look splendid yourself, Vernon."

Vernon chuckled, his breath on Victoria's ear. "Everyone is talking about us, you know. Just look at the corners in this ballroom."

Victoria twirled around in Vernon's arms. "Really?" she asked lightly. "Well, let them talk. They shall talk regardless of whether or not we do anything."

"Yes, I suppose they would," Vernon agreed, amused. "I am sure that the ambitious mamas are going to come over to me later on and ask me ever so tactfully what sort of relationship we have." He tilted his head. "What do you think that I should reply, darling?"

It thrilled Victoria to the soul to hear Vernon use that endearment. She glanced at Vernon's handsome face with soft and loving eyes. It was her duty, her right to love Vernon, to provide him the love that Amanda never did. To soothe Vernon's wounds from Amanda's inconsiderate jilting. Yes, Victoria had the power to heal Vernon and to give him strength. Her faith was abundant enough to carry them both.

Smiling warmly, Victoria laughed. "I don't know. That is up to you. I do not have any say in that."

Vernon considered the suggestion. "Will you be at my side?" he asked. "I have noticed that you have a knack for scaring away those dowagers."

Victoria laughed and lightly tapped Vernon's arm. "You're being ridiculous. I have no such knack. You know that."

Vernon sighed melodramatically. "Well, it was worth a try, I suppose. Any other suggestions?"

Victoria shook her head, keeping her hand in the crook of his arm when the music stopped. "You will take care of that matter yourself, your grace," she whispered. "I will stay away." With that, she winked at him and separated from Vernon.