3.14

When Aaron Carling was 12, his sister Alicia Carling died of leukemia. How ironic, their mother, Dr. Alexis Carling, a renowned oncologist, dedicated her whole life to cancer research. Alicia Carling was the most adorable child, with large water-blue eyes, silky blonde hair which their mother always put it in curls, and she always had that big smile on her doll-like face. Aaron Carling adored his sister, during the last days of her life, he was there with her almost every second.

And sure enough, when she died, he sunk into an almost depression-like state. He locked him up in his room, didn't talk, didn't eat, and refused to go to school. 12-year-old Aaron Carling could not believe, why life was so harsh to him that it had to take his precious sister away, why life was so unfair. Even to this day, 46-year-old Aaron Carling still held the grudge that life was never fair and it had to take things he loved away from him, but he was more mature and able to handle it with his rationality.

Lucky for young Aaron Carling, his father, Dr. Christopher Carling was a psychologist and did his best to help his son got out of the shadow meanwhile kept himself from breaking down. Losing a child is the worst thing that could ever happen to a parent. Especially he had his children late in his life and all he wished was to have them grow up with good health and achieve their goals. Dr. Christopher Carling knew that his son had the potential and was made to be outstanding, just like his parents. Never in his mind had he doubted, that his son would become a Dr. Carling someday, and that was why he did all he could to help his son out of depression as fast as possible. He didn't want his son to fall behind in school, after all, nothing could outrage education.

"Education is the most important thing in life," Said Dr. Alexis Carling, who held both MD and Ph.D., to her son who just got into his teenage years, "Remember, when you are looking for a significant other, she needs to be educated. Uneducated people are not compatible with our family."

In Aaron Carling's childhood memory, he barely remembered any time his parents were home together. Only the holidays, he thought, they were only sitting at the same table on special occasions when they had guests over. The guests, of course, were 'educated people' from his parents' departments in the university. Men dressed in expensive, tailored suits, smoking cigars one after another, talking loud about their research, or politics. Women were in separate groups. Those who were the men's wives gathered together, they were all in delicate dresses and high heels, talking about children and stores that had sales. The other half of women were also professors or doctors, joined the men, talking about academia. He remembered his parents would take him and introduced him to all their guests and everyone told him that he was a talented child and would become another Dr. Carling in the family.

But he hated these gatherings, he hated seeing these adults complimenting each other with a fake smile. Then he would take his sister upstairs, sat on the floor of her room, started a tea party with her. Despite she was 4 years younger than him and he was a boy, he would still play with her and her dolls so he could keep her happy and made her feel loved. He was the only one ever cared for her, loved her with all his heart, and almost spoiled her by giving her whatever she wanted. Indeed, the Carling parents gave their children enough financial support but never had time for them. They were busy at their research, publishing papers, traveled the world to attend important conferences.

Naturally, when his sister passed, he fell apart. They depended on each other, through those nights where their parents weren't home and they had the three-storage house to themselves. They had a caretaker before Aaron Carling turned 10, then she quit shortly after Aaron Carling's tenth birthday as she was going to get married and started a family of her own. Dr. Alexis Carling asked her children if they wanted another caretaker, but they said no. Then, Aaron Carling took over the charge to look after his sister and himself.

It took Aaron Carling a whole year to get out of the depression phase of his sister's death, but he knew that he could never get over the fact that he lost his only loved one at such a young age. Right now, as he was telling Velika O'Sullivan of his story when he closed his eyes, he could still see Alicia Carling's beautiful face.

He became mature so fast as it all happened overnight. 13-year-old Aaron Carling was different than his peers. When they were considering themselves as 'grown-ups' and started trying cigarettes and partying all night to seek all the potential fun, he was home reading, studying, mainly psychology.

Psychiatrist, he wanted to be a psychiatrist, not a psychologist. He already knew that he wanted to go to Germany, so he could stay away from his parents. Never in his life that he ever heard them telling him that they loved him, neither did he said that to them. At times, he wondered if they wanted him in the first place. Perhaps they had him and his sister only because it was time for them to have children and added up the numbers of doctorates in the Carling family. Or perhaps, they loved him, but they were just too shy to say it. His parents never beat him, never yelled at him for his mistakes, they always had this calm tone, the tone of despising, and disappointment that hurt his feelings more than anything else. They barely asked about his social life, but they were overly concerned about his academic achievements.

"Look at what you've become," Said Dr. Christopher Carling after his son didn't get the best mark on a test, "You're not the nice child as you were before, such a disgrace."

When he was around 15 or 16, he was bullied at school because he was tall, skinny, could never put on weight, and was never active at sports, plus he would sit on his own at lunch, read those deep psychology-related books. Although he was a very attractive looking young man, he was called 'the nerd', 'the freak' and so many other unbearable names. Aaron Carling tried to tell his parents this but they didn't seem to care much.

"They are just messing with you, don't take it seriously." Said Dr. Alexis Carling, when she was reading a newly published research paper in a journal.

The bullying continued, but Aaron Carling never told his parents again. He stopped telling his parents anything related to him other than reporting his grades to them. They thought he was doing great, and everything was working out for him. They were proud that their son got a part-time job and he was partially financially independent, he also volunteered a lot, doing all the charity work, meanwhile maintaining outstanding grades.

Little did they know, that their son's part-time job was being a rich woman's, well, 'lover'. Mrs. Gustavsson was the wife of Dr. Alexis Carling's acquaintance. Dr. Gustavsson was a surgeon and was barely home. As the pair didn't have any children, Mrs. Gustavsson, who was in her middle age, felt neglected and lonely. She met Aaron Carling at one of the parties his parents hosted and instantly found him attractive. Aaron Carling, with no exaggerated description, was very handsome. He had light brown hair and a pair of deep, hazel-colored eyes with long, curled up eyelashes, his cheekbones were high and his nose bridge was straight. The way how he talked shows that he was well-mannered and very kind. He was close to perfection in Mrs. Gustavsson's eyes.

When he showed Velika O'Sullivan a picture of him in his 20s, regardless that he wasn't as handsome as Daniel Heinrich, Velika O'Sullivan still had to admit that he was so good-looking that made her think she would never be compatible to him.

"So, you are saying I'm all old and wrinkly now," Said the psychiatrist, who rose his eyebrow, "And you are compatible with me? I'm not sure if you are looking down on me or yourself."

"That's not what I meant," Velika O'Sullivan laughed, "You are still very attractive, and more mature, that's why I love you so much, your maturity."

"I'm also twice your age." She said her lover with a sigh, and she hugged him, told him that it was never going to be a problem.

Mrs. Gustavsson confronted Aaron Carling when he was walking home from school on a sunny afternoon. She told him that if he agreed what she asked from him, she would get rid of the bullies for him, and offered to get him whatever he wanted. At first, he was disgusted by the idea and turned her down. Then the bullying got worse, the rumor started in school that he was stealing prescribed medicine from his mother and selling them at low prices. It got to the point the principle had to talk to his mother about it to make sure this was nothing but a scam. His mother, of course, was disappointed and told him that he became such a weak and horrible child, and how she wished his sister was still alive so she could have a perfect child.

These words were like swords, stabbed right into young Aaron Carling's heart. He didn't talk back, he knew that would be nothing but useless and made his mother even more upset than she already was. That night, he contacted Mrs. Gustavsson and agreed to her conditions.

Just like what she promised him, the bullying stopped, like she used witchcraft on the bullies. They became very polite to him and no loathe rumors of him ever started. He never asked Mrs. Gustavsson how she did that, he didn't want to ask, and perhaps, didn't want to know either.

He could report her of sexually assaulting him, but he wouldn't. No one would believe him, even if they did, it would be such a shame to his parents, who took their reputations more seriously than anything else. Plus, they concurred on this, and he did get benefit from her. She would buy him whatever he asked for, paid his bills, and took him to all the high-end restaurants. Aaron Carling couldn't complain much about Mrs. Gustavsson, after all, she was nice to him and sort of care for him. All she asked from him was that he could only be hers, during the whole time this agreement was in effect, he should be exclusive to her. To which, he agreed, he had no interest in any teenage girls anyways. Sometimes he wondered, in the most bizarre way, that if Mrs. Gustavsson was his mother, he probably would have had a better childhood.

Their so-called relationship lasted until Aaron Carling went to university in Germany, which was almost three years. Surprisingly, it was kept as a secret, to which Mrs. Gustavsson took to her grave, and only after almost three decades, finally was exposed when he told Velika O'Sullivan.

"I am so sorry." Said Velika O'Sullivan, she never imagined him having a rough upbringing, "You didn't have to tell me these."

"It was a trade," Said Aaron Carling with a gentle smile, "I am sorry for you too."

"Don't feel sorry for me," Said Velika O'Sullivan firmly, with a frown, "I don't need sympathy."

"See, then don't feel sorry for me either." He still had his smile on, "We all had a rough life, but it's fine, we are in a better place now, well, sort of."

"In the sense that we are with each other now, then sure." Said Velika O'Sullivan.

Maybe that was the reason they fell in love instantly after they met. They were similar people, with adversities in life, struggled, but never defeated.

"When did your parents have Astoria?" She asked, "She didn't seem that younger than you."

"She's 9 years younger than me," Said the psychiatrist, before Velika O'Sullivan could ask, he continued, "And she was adopted."