Standing at the bottom of the steps of the temple in Honnoji as the rain pours down next to Hideyoshi, the last week and half flashes through my mind along with the lightning that fills the sky above us.
Neither Hideyoshi or Nobunaga have told me what they experienced with the phoenix, and so I kept what I could a secret as well and they didn't know about the baby.
The simple explanation given to everyone else who wondered what happened to my appearance went something like "the shock and grief of seeing the destruction of her village." Although it makes no sense, almost no one questions it further.
Before splitting from the main group to head South towards Honnoji I asked to train with Masamune. After several hours the one eyed dragon could not be found training me, he was resting on a nearby tree trying to catch his breath after sending two of his men in to continue sparing with me. I'm much faster now, but there's something else different about me that I didn't realize until I overheard Nobunaga and Masamune discussing my training on the side.
Nobunaga's usually stern voice with his men was slightly softer since the encounter with the phoenix. "Is she too much for you now Date?"
"It seems so... but I have a feeling it's not a fair comparison." Masamune huffs before continuing. "She is definitely faster after her... shock was it? She isn't that much stronger though, however, it's her stamina that puts me in an unfair advantage."
"What do you mean Masamune?" Nobunaga sounded tense at his vassals poorly veiled investigation.
"Look at her. I spared with her for at least two if not three hours and am soaked in sweat, those men jumped in after me— an hour ago and I don't see a single drop of perspiration on her brow." After that they walked too far away for me to hear the rest of their discussion.
The last conversation with Masamune before we went our separate ways for battle was when he came to help me mount my horse. "Nobunaga told me what you did." He looked angry. "As your sensei I should be yelling at you for being so reckless with your life…" his expression softened as he continued. "As your— as your comrade and friend… I don't know if I will ever be able to repay you..."
I reached down and grabbed his hand. "Helping us win this war and not dying while doing so would be a start."
He squeezed my hand and smiled. "Go take care of that traitorous kitsune in Honnoji and I promise to have the green eyed snake waiting to be gutted by your katana." When he released my hand and walked away I felt a pain in my heart. Our mission wasn't to kill Mitsuhide, it was to make him believe that he is winning when he rejoins Kenshin in the North. How disappointed will Masamune be when he sees a prideful albino traitor riding into battle? Will he be so shocked he is wounded or will the sight of his old friend enrage him and bring him even more lust for vengeance?
The first night on the way to Honnoji, after the guards change for the night Nobunaga found me in our tent. We hadn't had a moment alone in days that felt like months and now, after everything that happened in my village, everything we are heading towards, there was no hesitation when he entered the tent. He came to me and pulled my face to his with furious and desperate kisses as he ripped my clothes from my body, I will miss that orange kimono. His touch was ravenous as he brought me to the futon and pushed two of his rough fingers inside of me and his tongue explored my mouth. After a few moments of back arching moans into his mouth he pulled away. "Let's see if you have the same stamina in bed as you did in your training." He smirks as he pulls his fingers out and pushes his length into me in one swift movement that brings out a pleased whine from me.
His lips leave mine as he moves inside of me and pants next to my ear and my hands reach and dig into his back. "Nobu." I growl and lift one of my hips and push him until I am on top and begin rocking my hips and bringing him as deep as I can and pulling him out just before the tip of his spear. His hands grip my hips, and I know I have him close when his grip tightens and his eyes squeeze shut. He groans my name through grit teeth as he releases and I continue to ride him through it.
I know when he is finished as his hands loosen and his eyes half open, revealing pleased rubies, as he pants and I slowly grind against his hip with him still inside of me. "It seems you beat me this time…" He nearly chuckles before a shadow crosses his face and he reaches for my face. His thumb brushes my lips as he surveys my face. He continues to move his eyes and hands down my body, running his thumbs over my pink and alert nipples, gliding down the sides of my abdomen before his eyes rested below my belly button with a concern wrinkle to his eyebrows.
He pulls me down and and into his arms, kissing my forehead and stroking my back. He's thinking of children, I could see it in his eyes as he stared at my abdomen. I wanted to tell him then that we have a child, waiting for us to finish this war, but something stopped me, something petty and selfish in me that I hope to grow out of one day.
I thought it was just the excitement and nerves of heading South that made it impossible to sleep. When I didn't feel tired the next day and didn't sleep again that night I began to wonder if I would ever sleep again.
I don't have a large library to pull from while we are on the road. I don't have Mitsunari to talk to me about strategy, Ieyasu to go over medical treatments, or Masamune to, well, to simply entertain me. I have the backs of Nobunaga and Hideyoshi's heads to stare at and two thousand of our best soldiers around us who seemed terrified of me since my appearance changed and they heard about or saw my last training with Masamune.
For the entire week and a half of travel Nobunaga kept me close. I either rode with him or beside him, I was at his side always. It felt like he was trying to soak up every moment he could, and making love to Hideyoshi and I at every rest, not caring who might here or see him as he attempts to memorize our bodies. Hideyoshi and I could feel it, the way he closed his eyes and breathed the sent of our skin and sweat while his tongue tastes us and stored us on his pallet. Between all of those sighs and whispers I could hear my husbands worry and all I could do was be there for him, holding him a little tighter, kiss him a little fiercer, as we all tried to prepare ourselves for an uncertain future.
The night before we arrived at the temple Nobunaga pulled both Hideyoshi into our tent. We were on him before the flaps could close and several vassals saw Hideyoshi and I make fast work of disrobing him while kissing his neck. I should've been concerned that someone saw it, but I was too concerned with making the most of that moment, I'm so glad I did. I'm so grateful to my past self for staying in that moment with them for as long as it lasted.
Once her was disrobed we quickly removed our clothes and I went to my knees as Hideyoshi pressed his lips to Nobunaga and I pulled him into my mouth as far as I could, no longer gagging when I used to. My tongue swirls around him as I pull out, and I'm stunned when Nobunaga suddenly pulls away from us. "Stop." He whispers. His eyes are squeezed shut along with his fists. I glance at Hideyoshi as I rise and he looks to me with an equal amount of confusion and concern.
I keep my voice soft and my tone gently as I reach my hand past his cheek and into his black hair. "What is it Nobu?" His face only twists more as he grips my wrist, but he doesn't move it away.
When his beautiful crimson eyes, they rest at my belly and are full of large tears that quickly fall. Legacy, this is all about legacy as he speaks in a groan. "What if I never meet our child?"
My brows knit. "How—"
"Because I pay attention." He snaps at me. "She said you would bear our first children." Of course he noticed, it's one of the things that makes him such an incredible human being. "I just don't know how you're keeping them safe... I know you wouldn't risk that dream, it means too much to us."
I rest my forehead to his with a smile. Hideyoshi quietly gasps when I smile. "Rina— are you really with child?"
I reach to find his hand while keeping my head and eyes on Nobunaga as he continues to let his tears fall.
"Something like that." I admit in a sigh my words. Nobunaga pulls a shuttered breath in at my response before I can respond. "He's safe. He's with the phoenix spirit, safe and growing in her realm until we finish this war." As I speak his tears stop, but there is still pain in those eyes that I cherish so dearly.
"Why didn't you tell us before now?" Hideyoshi asks as he squeezes my hand.
"Because neither of you would tell me what the phoenix said to you..." I felt ashamed. I should have told them about our child, I shouldn't have waited so long to give them something to look forward to and when that thought crossed my mind a pit formed in my stomach as I asked Nobunaga in a shaky voice that knew the answer. "Why are you talking like you may never meet our son?"
He shook his head as the rest of him started to shake. He wasn't going to tell, he wasn't going to lie to us either and soothe the frantic thoughts and imaginings of what he had planned for the next day and as angry as I was that he didn't, I trust him. How could I not? After everything I've seen him do, everything he's given me, he had my trust and I know Hideyoshi feels the same.
When our lips met tears spilled from all three of us like the rain that was pouring from the sky as we stand in front of Honnoji watching as Nobunaga charged into the temple we were told Mitsuhide was waiting to face him alone. The cries of passionate love filled our tent like the scream the echoed as the form of Mitsuhide emerges from the entrance.
Five guards follow him, that bastard tricked us into believing that he was in there alone waiting to face Nobunaga alone. His white clothes are stained with blood that doesn't appear to be his own seeing as he doesn't have a scratch on him and he smiles so sly as he approaches Hideyoshi and I.
I can feel the power the phoenix gifted me heating up in my clenched fists and climbing up my spine before that trickster even opens his mouth and speaks in his calm and snarky way. "What's this? That can't possibly be the widow of the Oda?"
My voice comes out in a roar. "What did you do to my husband?!"
The fox spirit powers that reside him must sense what I am now, there is a white kind of fog building near his ears, shifting and moving but somehow clear that they are ears. "I did nothing to him while he lived." He smiles, but his teeth no longer appear human in shape as they come to points. "When he saw he was beat he refused to be run through by another man, and pushed his own katana through his gut like the spineless pig he always was."
Flames cover my body before he finishes his statement. I push Hideyoshi away before wings of fire spring from my spine. As my flames build Mitsuhide also changes, the fog from his head spreads over his body and forms three tails the spring from the base of his spine. "Well look who decided to crash the party." The fox says in a giggle. "I cannot wait to tell the dragon that we were right, that the phoenix has indeed decided to make a move."
I run towards him and pull my katana in one smooth motion. He manages to avoid a fatal blow and I crash into the stairs, destroying them upon impact. When I climb out of the rubble I see him panting, and wiping a small bit of blood from his neck. His eyes quickly shift behind me and back before he speaks in near hysteria. "Well it seems you won't need to burn his body after a funeral after all." His hyena like laughter quickly retreats from the place as I turn in horror to see the temple ablaze.