Despite being presently universally hated at this moment in time by Zek and Ka'lira as well as Gordez, though whether it was because I had 'stood up' Ka'lira, or possibly because he suspected I was covering for her, I couldn't say, as well still holding the ire of Zare who I had stood up, it proved to be a rather pleasant hike that day.
I was the primary subject of the new group's jests and insults, and frankly, I'd be more offended if I didn't believe I deserved them, but whether the others save for Zare really knew the truth of what had transpired or not, my being the day's punching bag was more than warranted.
While I spent most of the 8-hour hike with an hour lunch break either out of conversation or a meat shield, I couldn't muster enough within me to actually be angry. Things were going well. She was getting along well with the others by the sound of it and I found some of my initial concerns slowly being cast aside.
She fits in well with the others? She's a good conversationalist and keeps up easily enough. It's almost like she just belongs. Odd.
"So," Zare had asked at one point, rather early on into the hike, speaking to Gordez. "You the leader?"
"Oh no," Zek said before Gordez even had the chance to speak, "Thought he certainly tries to be."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Gordez asked with squinted eyes towards his accuser.
"Well, we all know you do have a certain affinity towards the Boss."
Ka'lira promptly sent an elbow into his side, cutting his accusations short, a look of strict disapproval on her face. What's that all about?
"Who's the Boss?" Zare asked.
"Boss," Zek answered, relying on the confusion generated to drive the conversation.
"Here we go," I barely heard Ka'lira mutter from Zek's side.
"Okay, but what's his name?"
"Boss."
"Yes. The Boss. What's his name?"
"Oh for spirits' sake!" Gordez exclaimed. "The Boss calls himself 'Boss.'"
"Oh," Zare responded, a noticeable embarrassment being felt while Zek contented himself to the confusion he had helped sew much to the disapproval of his significant other. "Why exactly?"
"Great question," Zek said. "Gordez, care to answer?"
"It's a long story."
"One that only you know apparently." Zek turned back to Zare. "He ain't very keen on sharing."
"So you don't know his real name?"
"Now that is a mystery to us all."
"Sounds kinda vain, no?"
"There's more to it than that," Gordez quickly interjected defensively, backing down upon realizing his raised voice. "It's complicated."
"It's complicated," Zek mimicked insultingly, prompting a chuckle from the new addition.
"So," Zare continued, her curiosity seemingly unsatiated. "Zek, Gordez, those are Fire Nation names."
"Mhmm," Zek answered perfectly on cue, all of us by nature ready for whenever that question would arise, proceeding with the same explanation that we'd given to everyone else. "Colonial."
"Which colonies?"
"Yu Dao's what I call home. Gordez's from Han Tui."
"And Ka'lira, that's an Earth Kingdom name. Luke's a street one. Odd mix."
"Bands of misfits you could say," said Ka'lira with a sense of pride in how she put it.
"Well," Zek added, "We all have interesting places to call home. Except Luke of course. He's just a scum rat."
"Scum rat who can kick your ass," I decided to say, realizing that giving the silent treatment would only make things worse for myself. I knew no ill will was meant by the insults. I figured it only in good fun then that I put up at least something of a fight.
"Oh, he can talk."
"That's not the only thing," I smirked, cracking my neck, quite audibly at that.
As insincere as the threats were, I found myself wondering if things would come to a brawl between us, and, if they did, how long I could last. I didn't bother deceive myself into thinking I could overtake him. At least, not without some special assistance, but I was by no means idiotic enough to do that in front of an outsider such as Zare.
Zek seemed to understand this, and welcomed my challenge in asking with a scoff, "Is that a threat?"
"You tell me."
"Alright," Gordez interrupted. "Break it up. You two can blow each other and get rid of the tension once we pitch camp. For now, keep your cocks in your pants and keep on walking."
The embarrassment as Zare and Ka'lira reveled in our suffering silenced us for a good while longer.
Things picked up from there once again, and a few more insults would be sent my way until the day started coming to a close as we were setting up camp and a rather important question was brought up by Ka'lira.
"So, Zare. You brought your own tent?"
"'fraid not, but I'm no stranger to roughing it. Don't worry about me."
"Oh no," Gordez said. "You're getting a tent."
"Hell, kick Luke out of his. Give it to her," Zek suggested.
"Why me?!" I exclaimed, the betrayal evident.
"Who else? You left her in the dirt, now it's only fitting she do the same to you."
"Nobody's sleeping in the dirt," Gordez said, quelling our argumentation. "Zare, you'll be sleeping with Ka'lira."
"Well…" Zek started, wondering, "Then where am I going to sleep?"
30 minutes later, I found myself with my head right beside Zek's feet, crammed into a one-person tent, no room for mobility as I was stuck in that den of sweat and discomfort.
"Well," Zek said. "This sucks."
"Oh yeah," I responded. "And I'm just loving every minute of this," I retorted sarcastically.
"Hey, it's easier for you. I went from sharing a tent with an attractive woman to now, being forced to share a tent with, well, no offense, but you."
"Aw, are you saying we won't cuddle tonight after all?"
"I hate you."
I chuckled, glad to finally see him being miserable rather than just me. Gordez's orders had left Zek immediately speaking up in his defense of why that was a terrible idea.
"Why do I have to share a tent with him of all people."
"Okay," I had said, "first of all, ouch, but second of all, yeah, why me?"
"Zek," Gordez answered, "As much as I would love to have your soft body to embrace lovingly in the middle of the night, I'm afraid my physical stature leaves little room for two within my tent."
"Nonsense!" Zek exclaimed. "You're in your prime. I'm sure I could fit comfortably right on in there!"
"In that case, let me provide an additional point. Boss put me in charge of this op, and I say you snuggle with Luke for warmth tonight and get over it."
And so here we'd found ourselves as Zare and Ka'lira shared Zek's old tent.
"I hate this," Zek complained again.
"Damn, and here I'd thought you'd grown to love it since the last time you complained a minute ago."
"Sorry, Luke, but you may be too young to realize this, but this is a severe downgrade from Ka'lira."
"Hell, I'd consider myself a downgrade from just about anyone."
Zek chuckled at my self-deprecatory quip, the lightness in the air from it at least doing some good in easing the situation. "So," I said, continuing on, seeing as how I wasn't tired enough to fall asleep just yet anyway. "How are things with you two anyway?"
"Why you asking? You looking for advice or something?"
"Pfft. No." I shrugged. "Just curious."
I could hear the movement of his head against the cloth as he raised his head to face me as though attempting to scan my face for any sign of ill intent. He stayed there for a few moments, eyeing me, before easing back down onto his bedroll, saying, "I mean, yeah, I guess. No complaints. He went quiet then and I expected him to leave it at that as around a minute or two went by and I shut my eyes in preparation for the night only for him to speak up again after a small while, saying, "Guess a part of me is still a bit worried."
"About what?"
"About everything, you know?"
"She already knows we were soldiers for the Fire Nation. What more is there?"
"You know what I'm talking about, Luke. What I did…before. The girl I-"
"Oh," I responded, suddenly remembering what I'd been told. Over the year, I've come to learn more than enough about the people I'd served beside. Whether it was Boss's past as a Southern Raider or Zek's in having raped a woman at the behest of his comrades early in his career, or my slaughtering an entire village, we all had pasts we wished to leave behind. I suppose it was only logical that I wasn't the only one who still had trouble completely escaping it.
"I just-," he continued. "I have no idea what to do about that."
"You care about her, right?"
"Yeah, of course I do."
"Then, I mean, you'll have to tell her eventually."
"Think I don't know that?! But how do I bring up something like that? You saw what happened to her. She spent years as a captive aboard an Earth Kingdom ship being used by them nonstop. How do I, after all of that, just go about telling her that I'm no different, that the people I killed when I, quote unquote, saved her, were no different than me."
"You are different."
"How?! We're not. I've done the same terrible shit that she tried to escape from. I'm no damn different!"
I considered his words. No damn different. Then what was I? I who had slaughtered the innocent and now claimed to protect them. I'd been over this before. That was who I was, back there, a long time ago, but that didn't mean it was still who I was, right?
"You think I'm still the same person that killed those civilians in Ba Sing Se?"
"What?"
"You think I'm any different a person than I was when I killed those people in Stone's Edge?"
"I mean, yeah, of course, but what does-"
"You know exactly what it has to do with everything. That's not who you are anymore. Ka'lira will know that. I mean, hell, she may be pissed at first, might not talk to you for a while, spit in your face, something like that-"
"You're really making me feel great right now, you know."
"But, if you'd let me finish, I was going to say that she'd understand in time. Everyone has a past they're not proud of. I think that you've more than shown you're no longer the same person to her."
He didn't say anything after that, the quiet hanging in the night air, only the chirping of crickets and cackling of fire to be heard outside.
"Hey Zek?" I asked. "You asl-"
"No, I'm here. You really think so?"
"Yeah, I do."
The silence followed for a small bit longer, concluded eventually with, "Thanks. Sorry for, you know, giving you a lot of shit today."
"Oh don't worry," I laughed. "I deserved it."
"Yeah," Zek chuckled. "You did." He scoffed then, seemingly far more relieved and at ease than he'd been before, saying, "Look at us, gossiping and talking about our feelings in the middle of the night. I wonder if Ka'li and Zare are doing the same right now or if it's just us."
"Probably just us considering Ka'lira is on watch right now."
"Wait!" Zek said, shooting up from where he'd been lying down. "What?!"
I could only contain my laughter for so longer before my resolve broke and I collapsed into a ball of laughter, enjoying every bit of his momentary panic attack. "I'm just fucking with you," I managed between my guffaws. "It's just Gordez."
Zek was unconvinced, the panicked look in his eyes like that of a deer cat who'd been caught in a spotlight, eyes trained on the entrance of the tent right beside my head. "Gordez?" he asked hesitantly, eyes closed as though praying to hear his voice and not that of his potentially now estranged significant other.
"Yes?" came back a far more masculine voice to Zek's clear relief.
"You hear everything?"
"Yep."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Ohhhh."
I was still laughing silently to myself as Zek settled back down on his bedroll, myself still being able to feel his accelerated heart rate. "That's payback for earlier."
My victory was short lived as he promptly, given the angle at which we were lying down, shoved his foot into my face, provoking a disgusted gag from me, nearing the verge of puking as he resumed his onslaught until I surrendered with begs of "Alright alright! You've made your point!"
"Dick," Zek laughed, no malice in his words, only the combined relief of knowing that Ka'lira had heard nothing and the entertainment of having claimed victory over me. "You know, I almost really liked you there for a second."
"And we all know we can't have that," I joked, still attempting to rid myself of Zek's foot scent. "Call it even then?"
"Yeah," Zek said, the smile on his face just evident by the tone of his voice. "Even."
It was as pleasant a note to end the night on as any.
I had no doubt that the subject of my leaving Zare in the dust would be brought up again in the future, but the day had passed, and I doubted that come tomorrow, I would still find myself to be the communal target dummy. More likely than note, the role would shift to Zek, or potentially Gordez, or if Zek was feeling suicidal, Ka'lira. I smiled as I drifted off, comforted in knowing I was surrounded by family.
And what of Zare?
I couldn't consider her family. I knew what had made the others my family, the bond that was forged when death was around the corner, us putting our lives in the hands of one another. That's what had made the others family for me.
Maybe in time, the same would happen for Zare, but while she was a friend, somebody who I believed I could grow rather fond of, she wasn't family. Not yet.
A familiar voice accompanied me as I fell asleep that night. A voice I had thought I had gotten rid of long ago, but as I shut my eyes, and my reality slowly withered into numbed darkness, I heard the words, "I'm sorry," spoken in the voice of Raava, and that was the last there was before the night came over me.
Morning came with the shadow of an unpleasant memory of a dream, one that I had no clue as to the intentions of. Sorry? Sorry for what? I wondered just what the connotations of what I'd heard were. You coming back now? Decided I'm worth talking to again?
The questions of the spiritual realm were then replaced by the far more immediate reality of the physical as I picked up on an unfamiliar scent, though one that was strangely alluring, almost compelling me into a fully awake state far earlier than I normally would have.
I automatically sniffed to attempt to discern from just where it was originating, surmising easily enough that it wasn't Zek's feet that was the source. I pushed them aside upon noticing the sun was out, realizing with little difficulty that morning had already come, quite sooner than expected, the night having passed over me in record time.
Zek grunted in response to me casting his feet aside and I crawled out from the overly cramped tent, thankful to finally be able to stretch fully out, the morning air providing a welcoming introduction to the new day.
"Ah, you're up."
Zare was already awake it seemed, seated at the campfire, apparently in the process of cooking, or rather, brewing, myself now coming across the source of the strange aroma, and the woman who seemed to be responsible for it, a small smile on her face as she looked towards me emerging from my tent.
I looked around, expecting to have seen Ka'lira as the last watch was set to be hers, Zare, being new, naturally getting the night off.
"What are you doing up?" I asked. "I thought Ka'lira was on watch."
"I woke up early," she responded. "Told her she could get some more sleep if she wanted."
That was a bad move on Ka'lira's part, one that had, luckily, not blown up in our faces. Had Zare been somebody just looking to make a quick score, she could have easily taken whatever she wanted, potentially slit our-
"Surprised I didn't slit your throats in your sleep?"
I scoffed, mentally commending her uncanny deciphering of precisely what I'd been thinking, and proceeded to take a seat opposite her on a log by the fire. "Had a pretty good opportunity to do so."
"Yeah, well, not really sure if the nuns would take me back with open arms if I committed cold-blooded murder."
"And here I thought they emphasized new beginnings," I joked, unable to ignore, however, the ever-aromatic smell emerging from a small pan that Zare held above the fire.
"What's that smell?" I asked, looking to the pan and the brown liquid that lay within it.
The one-word answer she responded with was one that I'd never heard before, "Coffee."
"Hell's coffee?" I asked, eyes drawn to a small pile of brown shavings, dipping a finger inside to take a taste, immediately coughing out the grounds of, well, whatever the hell it was? "Hell is that?"
"Those are the grounds, dumbass. You need to make it a liquid." It was around now that she removed the pan from the fire, setting it aside, myself immediately making a grab for it out of curiosity before she slapped my hand aside. "Let it sit!" she scolded, prompting me to back down, still spitting out the remnants of the bitter taste in my mouth.
"Where'd you get this?" I asked.
"Were in the crates that the nuns are sending to the Earth Kingdom troops. Different donations from some of the places we've been to before."
"Ah," I said, an amused grin rising to my face at hearing upon her act. "So skimming off the top of what's supposed to go to our brave troops on the front?"
My sarcasm was poorly veiled, not that I had meant to hide it, and she noticed as such, responding with, "What they don't know won't hurt them."
It was shortly after that her smile faded into something more serious, and simply by the way the air shifted around us, I think I had a pretty good understanding of where the conversation was headed.
"Look," she started. "About yesterday. I know why you did what you did. I know you were trying to do when you left me at Heigou. I guess it was, I don't know, to keep me out of harm's way, something like that, or, hell, maybe I'm just being optimistic and you just didn't want to see my dumb face again, but, still, thank you, for covering for me at the end there. I doubt I'd be here if you didn't cover for me."
"I wasn't covering for you," I corrected her. "The others, Gordez at least, he knew you were lying. It doesn't matter. It wasn't about that. It was about unanimous agreement."
"Oh," she said, seemingly embarrassed at how easily her façade had been unraveled, but abandoned that sensation soon enough, returning to her original interest in asking, "So why'd you agree then? What changed?"
I shrugged, even myself not quite completely sure. I believed I knew, but as of late, I myself had begun asking just why I did what I did. "Around a year ago, I got a chance to find a new family, to find people who cared about me, who I could be a part of, and really know what it meant to have others. If I hadn't gotten that chance, I'm not sure where I'd be today, or what I'd be. I guess, I guess I just didn't want to take that same chance away from you. Hell, I think that's the reason, but fuck if I know anymore."
She was silent for a small moment, considering what I'd said before speaking up again to say, "Well, whatever your reasoning, thanks."
I nodded, my eyes drawn to her, still, after the last week, still at a loss as to who she was. Her eyes that insinuated she'd seen more of this world than she cared to admit, the scar across them that revealed she was no spring flower, and in addition to that, everything about the way she held herself together, something beneath her admittedly cute features that I just couldn't put my finger on.
And then there was the night before last night, that arrow that had saved my life, the one she'd denied all connection to, those same types of arrows however resting in the quiver directly beside the tree stump she sat on.
Who the hell are you?
By now her attention had once again drifted to the pan, the boil having settled to a simmer. "Brew should be 'bout ready now," she commented, lifting the pan, and pouring the black liquid contents within into a small ceramic cup I assumed she'd also skimmed off of the Earth Kingdom's supplies. Quite the self-indulger we have here.
"Want some?" she asked, looking to me.
"Sure, I guess. May as well see what all the hubbub is about."
She complied, pouring a fraction of the contents remaining in the pan into a separate cup, asking soon after, "Cream or sugar?"
"What?"
"In your coffee?"
"Uhh-I-don't know?"
"Straight black then."
"Was that the right answer?"
"Let's see," she grinned, handing the filled cup to me which I took hesitantly, my mind now dwelling on whether or not I had answered the question properly.
While she was quick to partake in the consumption of her concoction, I was more hesitant, admittedly even looking her way to ensure she did, in fact, consume the beverage, lest I find myself at the mercy of an early morning poisoning. She did, and so I cast that thought aside, considering that my cp may be poisoned, but decided against it, labelling these thoughts as sheer paranoia.
The black liquid had settled in the cup, still, unmoving, the closest thing I can remember to bearing this physical appearance that I'd ever drank before being the water from Citadel. I sniffed it once more to ensure that it didn't carry that same Citadel smell of rot, decay, and disease. It didn't. The smell was, in fact, intoxicating, seducing me to take that first sip. And so I did.
I remember spitting it out before the actual taste. "What the fuck?! It's bitter as shit!" I was spitting out the remaining contents of that mixture out when the realization of what I'd just done and said slowly washed over me, the embarrassment quicky settling in. "I-uh, I"
But where I'd expected anger from her in the form of glaring eyes, as I raised my head, I was only met with her drunkenly laughing to herself at my expense" Wait, so she did this on purpose.
"Oh ha ha." The embarrassment had subsided now that the realization of the situation had made itself clear to me. "Tampering with my drink, very funny."
"No, dumbass," she was still laughing her head off. "That's just what you get for ordering it dark." She was still chuckling as she reached forward for my cup, saying, "Here, I'll add some cream and sugar for you."
"Oh no," I said, holding it back behind me defensively. "I'm not falling for that again. Keep your 'coffee' or whatever it's called to yourself."
"Come on…" she singsonged. "It'll be better this time, I swear."
"No thank you," I said as I set the cup down, casting it away from myself, done with that betrayal. I reached for my bag behind me, pulling out my flask of water I had there. "I'll stick with good ol' water, thank you very much. Water has never betrayed me before unlike this 'coffee' of yours. Try and think of when water ever betrayed anyone."
"You mean like last week when a poisoned water supply nearly killed us all."
Well shit.
"Well…uh…shut up."
She smiled, returning to her drink, myself surprised both by her and myself in how quickly we seemed to have put Heigou behind us, mentally at least, able to joke about it now. I imagined it was due in part to how we'd left, the danger aside, the people safe, the town making a recovery. Had we left any earlier, I doubted we'd be joking about it as such. Some things I imagined though, would leave its marks. I wouldn't bring up Hana. Such was a surefire way of ruining the moment if there ever was one.
"Thought I heard some noise out here." Ka'lira was emerging from her tent in a similar ritual that I myself had performed, stretching and cracking her bones upon her exposure once again to open air. She sniffed, clearly noticing the smell in the air, and asked shortly after, "Is that coffee?"
Oh, so she knows what coffee is.
"Mhmm," Zare responded. "Want a cup?"
Ka'lira settled down on the same log as Zare, adjacent to her, nodding and saying, "Sure. 4 grams of sugar and 6 grams of cream."
Zare nodded, setting about executing these, at least to me, complex instructions. She looked up to me as she did so and stated, "See? That's how you do it."
I squinted my eyes at her in exaggerated sass as she chuckled to herself once again, clarifying the situation to Ka'lira in saying, "He asked for it dark."
"I don't even know what that means!" I exclaimed defensively, my feeble excuse falling on deaf ears as the two women joined in their laughing at my expense.
The laughter was interrupted by a loud yawn emerging from the tent where I'd spent the night as Zek came stumbling out, arms stretched while asking, "What's with all the noise out here?" He sniffed. "That coffee?"
The question only prompted the girls to laugh all the more, Ka'lira finding a break amidst their revelry to say, "Oh nothing. Just teasing Luke because he doesn't know what coffee is."
"I grew up only knowing what bread and water was, for Spirit's sake! Cut me some slack!"
"Got some to spare?" he asked Ka'lira, unfocused to my outburst.
Upon the question being asked, she turned to Zare, saying, "Ask her. It's her who made it."
Zare didn't wait for the question to be asked again, holding out the pan to him while saying, "Help yourself."
"Hmm. I think I'm beginning to like you." He poured himself a cup, eyed it carefully, then, at Ka'lira's outstretched hand, her seeming to know just where his mind was headed, took 4 grams of sugar and 3 of cream from her, pouring it into his drink. He proceeded to take a small sip, gauging the heat, before helping himself to a larger gulp, seemingly satisfied by the taste in his saying, "Damn. That's a flavor I've missed. Haven't had any coffee since the colonies."
I guess coffee wasn't among the rations at Ba Sing Se. Surprising, considering how much some people to like it. Or, he was just lying to cover for his being at Ba Sing Se.
Soon enough, Gordez himself was up, crawling out of his tent, but bypassing the morning ritual of stretching and cracking limbs that the rest of us had partaken in, seemingly even unfazed by the aroma of the universally loved beverage that Zare had prepared.
"Good," he said. "You're all up. Come on, let's get moving. We have a lot of ground to cover."
"Oh come on, big man. We haven't even had breakfast yet. Besides, there's no rush. We still have 3 days of walking ahead of us."
"All the more reason to get moving." He was already packing his things, more distant and quieter than he normally was.
It's Zare.
I remembered by own introduction to Squad Iron Fire back at the Earth Kingdom capital. It took a while for him to take to strangers. Zek, just as he had back in the army, took quickly to newbies as he had with me, and continued to do so with Zare here. Gordez had never quite been that way, and apparently, still wasn't. Such was more than apparent here and now.
"Won't even sit for some coffee? Zare prepared it."
Whether by guilt or by the mention of coffee, he turned his head, eyeing the pan that still contained some of the black liquid within. "Fine," he said, even him not able to turn down the drink, adding to my growing understanding of people's feelings towards this drink.
Well, to each their own.
"But after this," he continued, "We get moving."
And so we did. In an hour's time, we had grabbed quick bites of breakfast, packed camp, and headed out.
The days ahead proved to be much the same as one another. At some points in time, we would exchange conversation, attempt to pry information from one another with similar degrees of success, meaning none, and overall, just enjoying the scenery around us.
Zare in particular seemed as though stuck in a wanderlust finally realized, happy to be on the move.
"You seem rather happy," I commented on the side to her as we'd drifted behind the main group. "Almost like you hadn't already been with a band of travelling do-gooders."
She scoffed, turning to me with a shrug. "Don't know," she admitted. "Just feels different now."
"Thrill of knowing you're walking into a warzone?"
I saw a flash of emotion on her face. One I couldn't quite decipher. One that, from what I saw, told me that "thrill" was something she'd seen and felt before, and so I would have thought she was lying when she said, "Maybe" if she hadn't followed it with, "I don't know. I don't think so. I just…feel more free now."
"So," I changed the subject. "How did you end up joining along with the nuns?" I felt as though I was treading on familiar soil when I asked the question, but ever since the night before last, I'd found myself questioning a lot about her. Maybe it really was just a lucky shot. Maybe she really doesn't know that she'd hit somebody. She hadn't collected the arrow after all. Maybe it wasn't hers even. Though, I hadn't seen anyone else collect the arrow.
"Well, after my brother joined the army, dad didn't really have anyone left. I think he lost all hope for my brother right after he joined and kinda just broke down. I stayed around to help him, but he didn't last too long. Grief, stress, he gave up. Killed himself because he had nothing left in the world." There was bitterness in her voice as she said this.
"He had you."
Her face soured. I'd touched on a subject I likely shouldn't have. "Guess I wasn't enough." She sighed, wishing to change the subject, bur regardless, continued her story. "Was left orphaned in our small village then."
"No mom?"
She shook her head, not deigning to assign her mother any words even. There was something deep seeded there. A resentment I figured best to leave there. For now. "Anyway, one day, those nuns came by figuring they could do some good, my town starving and dying as it was, anybody spry enough to work the fields wearing a uniform dying for spirits know what. I just wanted to get out of town, leave it behind, so I asked if I could join them. They told me the path of becoming a nun was a righteous one, but one with much strife." She chuckled. "Didn't matter to me. I just planned on using them to get from point A to point B. Time went by though, and I guess, I don't know, they'd sold me on the idea of helping others. Stuck by them for a good while, believing I was doing real good, not realizing that we were only the afterthought. The ones that came in once things had already gone to shit. Finally clicked when you all came to Heigou."
I pitied her then. I doubted she wanted it, and just the look in her eyes when she finished stated that she'd kick me in the balls if I so much as showed the slightest degree of feeling sorry for her, of looking down on her. Despite this however, I still did, and, even worse than that, at least the way I saw it, a part of me still didn't completely believe her. What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I so suspicious of her? If anyone's the liar here, it's me, and I have the gall to question her. I let the paranoia fade for the moment, choosing to, at least in this moment, ignore it, and try to manage a real conversation.
"Oh great," I joked. "So it's our fault you left."
"Yep," she smiled. "All your fault."
"Well, I don't want to sell you a false bill of goods. We're not heroes like the Avatar. We don't bring peace and safety wherever we step. We try to do what we can, but that doesn't guarantee success."
"I know. A chance is all I'm asking for."
"Well," I said, considering it once again, considering the idea of 'chance' and how I'd almost stripped it from her. "Then you're in the right place."
The days went by as expected following that, no obstacles on our path, keeping constant watch, ensuring nothing waiting around a corner ready to lash out at us and end our expedition prematurely.
On the morning of the 4th day, we found it waiting ahead, right where it was meant to be, resting atop a hill by the coast, dock housing Earth Kingdom warships, artillery guns facing the sea and the plains it overlooked, the King's banner raising over its stone fortifications.
Xiahu.
I knew the first instinct of at least 2 of the people by my side, the corner of my eye catching the ever so subtle twitch of the hand towards their sheaths, this base no different from the many Earth Kingdom camps we'd fought tooth and nail to take between Ba Sing Se's walls, the memories still etched into my mind, the soldiers I'd killed, the people I'd burned, and now I was going to be working alongside them.
They weren't the only ones at unease, and as we reluctantly approached, nearing those stone walls, I found myself wondering just where the end of this road lay, just where this path led.
And as we announced our presence, and the great stone gates opened to welcome us, I decided that, maybe, some questions were best left unasked.