mom's secret living hell

he's not completely obligated to spend time with me. Plus i just met the guy so i dont have the right to feel this way. Technically speaking he's known me for my whole life but he's been dead the whole time so i haven't know him for that long. Being in my own little world i didn't realize linds had taken dad's place in my room. Liberty i don't know what happened to you but i promise no matter what we'll find out what happened to you. I know sitting here talking to nothing like your standing in front of my face is weird but just incase your spirit is here i promise bestie we'll bring ya home. Out of nowhere there was a knock at the door. Mom was standing in the doorway. Oh hello stacey mr. gibbson said it was okay if I sat in libby's room for a while. In a way it kinda makes me feel like she's in the room with me and gives me a weird sense of comfort. Yes lindsey of course it is. I try to avoid this room as much as I can but I tend to find myself in here  in the middle of the night mom said clearing her throat so she wouldn't start crying. She often cries a lot mom doesnt know it but i used to hear her crying in her room. In mom's eyes letting people see you cry is a sign of weakness. In no way is she a strict parent but that's how she was raised. She had taught me it's okay to let people see you cry even though I prefer not to. I mean I've cried thirty times throughout this story already and a few in front of derek dont judge me it's an emotional story! Anyway i once again had to snap myself back to reality and only got part of mom and lindsey's conversation. I honestly think we should start a search party and i can bring people together by posting to all my social media. That made mom giggle a little bit. Oh jeez lindsey said its already 5:30 i gotta get going send me the details and i'll get started right away! Oh by the way have you talked to jason lately? Lindsey asked in a curious tone. Now that you mentioned it I haven't. Don't you think that's a little peculiar. I mean your girlfriend goes missing and your not trying to communicate with her family or friends to help find her? We haven't told anybody about her being missing except family, school staff,you, and justin.we don't want it going public incase she decided to take off for a while and comes home soon. When I was her age I did  something similar to that. I needed a break from life and took off for a week and didn't tell anyone where I was going. Yeah but you'd think after talking with the police he'd check in at least. Well lindsey you got a point there I'll do a little digging and keep you posted. For the record, I've never really liked jason. Lindsey  hugged my mom and left. Not gonna lie i got jealous for a second because that was the thing i wanted almost as much as my murder being sloved was to hug my mom.  As soon as the door shut mom got on the phone. Hey johnson what was jason ferguson's reaction when you told him libby was missing? What do you mean you haven't talked to him yet? What the hell have you been doing jacob? Get busy and do your job. Im sorry stace i was working on other stuff for the case in the office. First thing tomorrow we'll go and talk to the ferguson boys i could hear jake say on the other line. Alright you better keep me posted. Now off that topicare you and amy still coming over for dinner tomorrow night? Alright great see you then love you guys too bye. Oh mama if only you knew the truth about that man your feelings would definitely change. Mom texts lindsey hold off on posting about the search party they haven't talked to jason yet! Lindsey replied almost immediately. Keep me posted!  Mom sent a quick i will and if we need to you & i will out together our own kick ass team :). I hang out with mom in the kitchen as she makes one of my favorite meals chicken bacon burgers and fries my god do i miss them. Mom called dad in the kitchen and sets the table. She was about to set my spot when it hit her I won't be joining them. The water works start to come when dad comes in. I almost set her place again knowing damn well she won't be here. STACEY how could you even say that! Dad yelled i think louder the he meant too. We don't even know if she's actually missing. Remember when you were her age took off for a week because we found out you were pregnant and you were debating on what to do with the baby.  Whack! Mom slapped dad so hard that you could hear the compact of her hand from another room. Meanwhile  dumbfounded my mouth dropped open from the shock of the whole scene. I'm not sure which im more shocked about mom thinking about permanently getting rid of me or her slapping dad. I cant even lie that hurt like a hurt i've never felt before. Still i understand if she was my age and I'm sure she was scared shed have her doubts. I'm just glad she gave me a chance at life even though it was short lived. I LOVE that girl with everything i have; and with that mom went upstairs and slammed the door.