18- puppy wakes up

...I woke up rolled out of bed, the sun was shining in through the the window and the rays beaming in right at my eyelids keeping me from my comfortable slumber.

I hadn't thought of today's plans, the goal was to finish this series of canvas.

I needed food!

I'm about to leave my bed when I flick my comforter and see sky's vest fling out from the entanglement.

It was second nature to pick it up and put it on as normally it's my clothes being shot out of bed...

I put on a smile after getting a scent that wasn't mine but still good!

His vest, smelt good!

I figure instead of throwing it around and risk wrinkling it more, ( now I'm just working hard at lying to myself)

"Ill wear it? "

I throw it over my shoulder and put my arms threw,

Mmm, he smells good, catching myself looking crazy in the mirror while I was smelling his clothes.

I had to glance to make sure he sleeping

'Can't have him catching me adoring him and his clothing'

I had to get some food, good old breakfast always makes me happy. I've been very productive the last serveral days and my stomach is feeling it.

I should start going to the gym again.

I need a photo of this! I know dhalye is gonna ask. plus I can take advantage of this a moment!

I grabbed my stuffy, I keep a soft Wolfy with me, a gift from my ex- on my birthday almost 5 years ago now.

I really do admire it, It was the first gift I got from someone aside from family. I never got a gift from friends, this one made me happy.

A stint of nostalgia hits me when I hold it..

The day I got it, he just got back from Vegas. I worked for the holidays so I couldn't make the trip even when he asked me. I didn't have the seniority to take the holiday and I called off enough I was gonna be fired if i kept doing that. It was mid summer and he asked to come over to his place, when I got there he pulled it out of the closet and gave me a cute cheesecake that was the size of a cupcake.

It ended not as graciously as I would have like it, I always made the effort and he didn't. Made me cringe at our relationship the longer it went on.

He gave gifts but wasn't actually sincere. His roommate was more important than I was kinda of relationship. Now I just tell myself he's was gay and a really good friend I got to have sex with. The solid friends with benefits. It worked Out and I stayed away from real relationships, still got please myself.

I left him. I needed to leave and he wanted to stay. I couldn't do the party everyday and work to follow up. I needed something healthy and he just became this enabler, I almost became a member of the aa group because I didn't have a real goal or life to live. It was a good end and "Miss" always reminds me of the good from the bad.

... I placed miss on top of his right arm that's open, I rip off a toilet paper sheet from a roll in the cabinet, it's was closer.. I use it to rub his cheeks so he could hug it, better yet a flinch so he can wrap his arm around miss. Success!!

He moved over slightly actually getting me a better view with his face lips directly on miss' ear, aww so cute!! It made me smile a lot. His hair is so bedhead right now! Not a good look for his normally put together look.

My phone wasn't on silent mode when I took a photo of him snuggling the wolf my phone clicked! My luck is good he's not moving at all, I just needed the one photo.got it! Selfie bomb!

Stared at my phone looking at the picture, I think to myself

'I like it'

I decide to cook breakfast, it's almost ready and I hear him get up.

Times like this I wonder why I don't have a brain filter to stop me from being so immature.. "Aaww the baby's awake, did little wolf keep u safe"

'Well now that he's up I guess I got to feed the prisoner'

He sitting there, not looking his best. He still had sleep in his eyes and wolf was still in his arms.

He looks hungover, the really wasted kind of hungover smelly with dry drool it was kinda funny. Newbies!

I set the food down for him along with a strong coffee that looks like he really needs now!

I hope he drinks it, it's got four scoops of espresso!

"Eat up day two and u look like a hungover drunk"

He laughed at the remark and said back

"'Haha yeah, I smell like I need a shower too" running his hand through his hair to tame it a little more, I didn't quite work but my problem was I couldn't stop staring, his body is my type and I had break focus.

wit please come to my rescue fast..

I grabbed his vest I now wear, that was on that body of his, and take a huge smell off it. It so helped!

"It's ur man cologne it smells good"

Complimenting him was all I could do, I'm so embarrassed... I'm okay with it because the look he's giving me is sweet, that look of overwhelming shy happiness and he's not complaining about my cooking.

I don't like that he's making feel okay with all this, him being in the apt, watching me paint and it doesn't make me feel so uneasy but it also does.

"I cooked now u get to wash the dishes, thank you" I point over the kitchen and get up off the chair to resume my professional duties.

I grab the stereo remote and pull up my 'good vibes' playlist. Turn up the sound and grab my thin brush, I'm painting this tiny pedal flower in the center of the tree, I'm in full focus when I can feel it, the pain and heat surging through my body.

My mom talked about going into menopause once and said the hot flashes she always had even as a teenager. She said I would feel it to. I thought it was a getting old quote to make me feel better.

It hurt, it hurt to the point where it made me angry. Angry enough to work hard at meditating to reduce some of the body burn. My muscle were in a spasm that shook my hands and legs, I couldn't even paint.

I sat there holding this back, it's only happened two other times and it was hard to relieve.

My jaws started to shake and chatter, my teeth were hurting from the porcelain on porcelain chiseling happening in my mouth, I've already bit my tongue enough to taste blood.

It was unrelenting, my mouth hurt I needed it to stop so bad,

I look down and see the brush it's a wooden handle so I grab it and put it between my teeth to stop them from ripping open my cheeks.

It helped a little.

Of all the times, when company is here!

Shit, I hear sky from the kitchen, I must ignore him. Why does it hurt so much and why can't it just go away!

He's yelling towards me with his hands waving in the air, I can see him through the reflection on the window,

I can hear him past the music

"Have u seen my phone?"

I couldnt bring myself to look or say anything in this painfully petrified state Ive been caught in, my body doesn't want to move and when I breathe this heat grows. I point to the floor where I last saw his phone...it's all I can do.

he asked for the charger also. That was plugged in next to me. I pointed to it without looking at him.

I had in a death grip two brushes with thick handles to squeeze my hand. I don't wanna show I'm in pain, real pain. In a moment he sits next to me to charge his phone.

'Smile, smile through it' I tell myself. Force myself to look at him and smile. Then something happens, he touches my feet with just his finger and all this, the heat, the pain, its going away slowly. I can feel myself simmer down.

I don't wanna think it but I did

'He's a major distraction I can't have'

it's just the power he has over me feels wrong, feeling like this counts as lust?

I don't want him to stop, I'm fearing the pain more but what he's doing feels a little bit similar to having ur first taste of great strawberry milkshake. When I'm deep in though he ...

He opened up his palm and put his whole hand on my legs. Now it's a soothing type of tingle and my teeth stop chattering.

He's moving up my leg slower and slower but now he's got two hands on me, my body isn't feeling any pain anymore!

How does he do this to me, what makes him the best distraction I've ever known? It's working whatever he's doing.

The touch is stimulating!

I can't bring myself to look at anything else. His brown eyes the sparkle in the sun, a flex of green like a saw before.

He kisses the top of my knee and I'm no longer in control, I'm at his will now, I won't stop him.

I'm in trouble.

He grabs the brushes from me and I'm game for it all!

He spun my chair to pull me into him, my legs next to his torso. He touches my forearm and pulls them to my side holding them there while he starts to kiss my legs,my inner thighs tingle even when I feel him breathe on my skin.

I take it all in, breathing calmly and letting the sensation spread over my body.

He lets my arms go to grab my legs, all I can do is let him. All rules don't exists right now, he knows what I like and how to do just that.

He's between my legs doing well, I actually forgot I was expecting dhayle until she knocked on the door

Shit I didn't want it to stop, the way is lips felt and he's so nice with me when he's down to sex it up. I just want it to go a bit longer

I'll keep ignoring dhayle for now.

It so slow and making me a content warm, I don't want to move, biting my lip to keep myself from using any body part

The excitement was so world fading we both jumped when dhayle started to bang in the door this time we both were caught off guard we both jump up and fix ourselves, I had to grab a pair of shorts, panties were now unwearable, I had turned reddish and I was sweaty, this looks so obvious.

I turned down the jams walk over to the door and there she is my big sister here to ruin the party

"Dhayle" I say hug her and show her in.

We both look at sky on the couch with the towel in his lap, "hey dhayle"he said with a wave. I don't think he was prepared for any of my family.

She did ask right away"Where's nie?" Because sky and Myself didn't even know each other and now he's in my house looking like a fuck toy.