Sick of being me

"What the... What is this place...?"

Kurt found himself lost inside of an empty black space.

He tried to find something that could guide him but no matter where he looked there was nothing to see or touch.

"Hello?? Anyone there??" he screamed while running desperately through the endless darkness, "Heeey!! Anyone!! Please respond!!!"

"Why are you screaming, honey?" a gentle voice asked.

"Ah!" he gasped after finally finding another person, "Please, help!! I'm lost and- Huh!?"

The moment he turned around to see who it was, he realized it was a familiar face. An adult woman who possessed a kind and warm smile.

"Mom!?" he shouted.

"Of course, sweetie! Who else?"

It wasn't the wife of the emperor though, it was his old original mother from before he was brought into the new world. Not only that, Kurt's body had changed to the appearance he had before restarting his new life, and the empty dark space was slowly transforming into his old house.

"Wha- What are you doing here??" he asked while shaking his entire body.

"Oh? What's wrong, dear? You not happy to see me?"

"It's... It's not that... It's just..."

The woman approached him and began to analyze his expression, "Mmmm... You ARE my son... Right? I'm not confusing you with another kid, am I?"

"N- No... It's me! Your son!!" he claimed.

"Really...? Well then..."

The woman leaned forward and began to caress his face with a gentle touch.

"Do you know what your name is?"

The boy began to smile, "Of course! It's Ku- Ah..."

"Mmm? Ku-Ah? I'm afraid that's wrong, darling!" she commented while slowly pulling her hand away from him.

The boy was about to say his name was Kurt, but quickly remembered that this was his new name, not the original.

"My... My name... What's my original name??" he asked himself while frantically scratching his hair. A couple of strings ended up falling and the boy realized his hair was red, "What??"

"Mmm... This won't do... My son isn't a red hair... And he definitely knows what his own name is..."

"P- Please, wait!! I know my name!! It's... It's...!"

"Sorry, my boy, I can't waste time here... I need to find my son, and you should find your real mother."

"But you are my real mother!! Wait!!" Kurt shouted as he dashed towards her, but when he grabbed her hand so she could look at her, the lady had no face.

"What's wrong, dear?"

"Argh!!"

"Do you not remember the face of your own mother anymore? I guess you don't have to anymore, right? After all... You ran away from the life we gave you and got yourself a new one!!"

"I... I..." the boy began to tremble even more while giving slow steps back.

"But that's what you do, isn't it? When things get too hard, you just give up and take the easy route... It doesn't matter if it's school, friends, or family... Anything that takes too much effort isn't worth your time, right? Giving up halfway is much easier!"

"No!! No, no, no, that's not what I'm doing!!"

The lady began to tilt her head, "Of course it is, silly boy!! You gave up on us!! You gave up on your mother!!"

A hand suddenly appeared behind Kurt, an old man, also without a face, "You gave up on your father..."

Another hand then appeared right in front of him without him even noticing, and an older boy showed up, "You gave up on your brother!"

"It was too hard..." the lady said.

"It was too much for you..." the man said.

"It was better to just quit..." the older boy said.

"Quit your family..."

"Quit your house..."

"Quit your school..."

"Quit your dreams... Your future... Your potential!! Just quit everything... Because it was easier! Faster! Less painfull!! Less struggle! Less hardships!!"

Kurt tried to cover his ears, "Please stop..."

"Yes... Stop!! It's always better to stop!!" the voices were now all speaking at the same time as the scenery around him started to crumble, "After all... We know nothing in life comes from struggle... Everything in life worth having should come to you on a silver platter! That's what life is all about!! easy rewards for minimum effort!!"

"Stop it!! Stop it!! That's not what I want!"

"And if this new life gets hard once again... You can just give up on it as well! And then get another!"

The three of them began to lose their bodies and started to turn into a tornado spiraling him.

"Give up on this life??" he repeated as tears started to appear.

"Yes!! Give up again and get a new life! And if the next one doesn't work as well, just give up again! And Again! And again!!"

"Stop it!!! Stop it! Stop it! I didn't give up!! I just wanted another chance!! I just wanted to try to be better!!"

"Of course you did!! After all... No one deserves it more than you!! Nobody else is struggling but you!! Your pain matters more than the pain of others!!"

"That's not what I said!!" he yelled.

"But that's how you feel!! How you truly feel!! That's why you were okay hurting the kids that attacked you! That's why it was okay to take your anger out on the girl that took your seat! That's why it was okay to ignore the words of the owl that keeps trying to guide you!! Because at the end of the day... All that matters is what you want!!"

The tornado stopped spinning once the room was destroyed, and in its place, stood a giant owl, staring down at him.

"Do- Dorothy..." he whispered.

'When things get tough... Are you gonna abandon me as well...?' she asked.

"N- No, I-"

Dorothy then suddenly transformed into the wife of the emperor, "When things get hard, are you gonna run away from me, like you ran away from your previous mother?"

"Mother, no! Of course not!"

The figure changed one more time, taking the shape of the girl he fought, a lass with purple curly hair and wearing glasses, "When things get tough, are you gonna vent your anger on me again?"

"No!! No, I'm not a bully!! I'm not! I'm not!!"

'You quit!' Dorothy whispered.

"You ran away..." Sabiri mumbled.

"You gave up on your ideals!" Gaby stated.

"Coward! Bully! Baby! Childish! Uncaring! Lazy! Heartless! Monster! Beast! Fiend! Demon!

DRAGON!"

Kurt couldn't stand it anymore, "Just leave me alone!!!"

The voices paused for a second and the figure that was talking to him slowly began to crumble as well.

"Alone..." it echoed.

"Wait... I didn't mean-"

"Alone... Alone..."

"No, no, no, please stop!" he begged.

"Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alon-"

"STOOOOOOOOP!!!!!"

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Kurt finally opened his eyes and came back to reality.

"Aaarghh!!" he shouted while suddenly lifting up his upper half. His face was covered in sweat and his entire skin couldn't stop trembling.

"Kurt!? Kurt, buddy! Are you okay?" Trevor asked while staying by his side and checking his wounds.

"Trevor? What? Where..." the boy could barely form a full sentence due to the stress of the vision that appeared before him not too long ago, "It was... I was just a dream..."

"Dream? From the look on your face, it seems more like it was a nightmare..." the large boy noted.

Trevor gave Kurt a towel to clean his face and the boy began to process his surroundings. He was on top of a bed inside of a nice clean white room behind some kind of curtain.

"Where am I...?"

"Oh... The infirmary..." Trevor explained, "After the fight with Gaby, your whole body was paralyzed due to the electricity. Your healing talent seemed to have fixed your wounds but you were still unable to move and ended up passing out."

"Ah... Right... The fight with Gaby..." he mumbled with very little energy.

The battle with Gaby might just be the most humiliating experience in Kurt's entire life.

Not only did he got defeated in a duel that he requested, not only did he got his ass kicked in front of all the students after claiming he wouldn't lose so confidently, not only did he made a fool of himself on the very first day of school, but to top it all off, he made a girl cry just because he was having a bad day.

In the end, Kurt accomplished nothing and only managed to get everyone involved in this situation feel disappointed.

"Hey, man... Don't beat yourself up! I told you, Gaby is one of the best fighters of the academy! There is no shame in losing to her!" Trevor commented while patting him in the back.

Kurt just shook his head, "I'm not upset about losing the fight... I'm upset for trying to pick a fight at all in the first place... God! I'm such an idiot!! I thought I had changed! That I had become better!! But I'm still the same pathetic loser I've always been! The only difference is that now everyone knows as well!"

"Hey, come on! You're not a loser! We all saw you holding your own against her! An amateur like you making an expert like her go so far to take you down? You should feel proud!"

"Proud...?"

Kurt began to look back into his actions. Trying to take revenge on Gaby, trying to turn her into a villain in front of the class, trying to show off his skills, trying to prove he was superior, letting the cheers of the students get to his head.

At the same time, he also looked at Gaby. Not running away from a fight she didn't need to do, not shaking even when all the class began to cheer against her, displaying such a variety of ways to use lighting, ways that Kurt would never even dream about, and even finding a way to get past his healing talent by paralyzing his body.

Compared to her and her actions, Kurt felt like he had absolutely no reason to feel proud right now.

"No... All I did was act like a fool... The whole day I've been nothing but an idiot just making things hard for myself for no reason... I should have just told Gaby I needed the seat. I should have just asked the teachers to speak out louder. I should have refused to go along with that shaved head guy and his friends.

I should have tried to properly talk with Gaby instead of just assuming I knew what I was talking about..."

"Shaved head guy?? What...?"

"I need to find her!" Kurt declared while leaping out of his bed"I gotta find Gaby and apologize to her!!"

"Apologize for getting beat up?"

"Trevor!!"

"I- I don't know where she is!! She probably already left the school to go home..."

"Do you know where she lives?"

"You want to go to her house...? She's already pissed at you. You really wanna anger her even more by acting like a stalker following her home?"

"I- Ugh... I just need to see her one more time! I need to make things right! Please!!"

"Uuhh... Okay... Fine... I'll take you there..." Trevor declared while completely giving up after seeing the resolution in Kurt's eyes.

"Thank you!"

Kurt began to think back to all the voices in his nightmare, and all the things they said about him. About how he only cared about his own needs and how he always would give up on things to avoid going through any sort of struggle.

More than anything, he needed to prove these voices that they were wrong about him.

Not only did he needed to be someone that could make his parents proud of him being their son, he needed to make himself proud of him being who he was.

"She's gonna kill you..." Trevor noted.

"That's fine... I probably deserve it..."