Chapter 4: Approach

"Overcome your shyness"

It was a cold and windy morning. The typical cloudy weather envelop the town.

As soon as I entered the room where I will spend my time being a second year I had felt yet again the emotions I've felt back then. From the stairs and the hallway. Even though I said to myself that I won't fall for her deeply my eyes still got captured by those kind and flawless smile,those soft black hair that flows with the air,those shining eyes of her, and that kind personality of her attracts me a lot. I was happy just by looking at her. "Although I'm still the shy type person maybe I can get closer to her this year" I said to myself. I might be able to know more about her personality. We are in the same class after all. There might be chances now that will let me get to know her. But even if she attracts me a lot I'm not planning on going into romance or getting a girlfriend. "Just getting to know her is allready enough." I said to myself while thinking she was out of my reach.

"Hey...Harres!" Kyle said while shaking me.

"Hugh? Why?what is it?" I confusingly said.

"You were like a statue here for almost 10 seconds straight. Are you okay?.." Kyle confusingly asked.

"Uhm yeah hehe I'm okay!" I said with a smile.

"Hey bro?don't tell me you're still crushing on that girl there?" Kyle said sarcastically.

"Hugh?.. what are you talking about? Haha," I said with a laugh.

"Oh come on it's obvious allready, your face is so red when I talked about her. Well you can't stop your feelings anyway," Kyle said while smirking.

"Heh? Come on it's nothing," I said again with a laugh.

"Harres you may think like it's nothing but sooner or later you will fall deep for that girl. You might even get hurt sometime with her," Kyle said naturally now.

"Hey? Kyle come on!that won't happen. Seriously?me? In a relationship ?nah... that won't happen,"I said with a laugh.

"Ah... Okay just be careful in making decisions okay. Well... Not that we can hold our emotions though," Kyle said naturally.

"Ah...haha okay?"I said confusingly sarcastic.

"But Harres if you're planning on getting her you might need to stand out. There are many more handsome and talented boys out there that will fall for her and try to steal her from you," Kyle adviced me.

"Eh? Really Kyle? Stop saying things like that okay. I am not planning on going to any relationship or chasing a girls or stuffs like that. Don't worry,"

I said with a smile.

"Eh.... Even so, if you need my help just let me know. I can help you get that girl. I'm an expert at love life you know," Kyle said.

Oh yeah speaking of that. I haven't told you guys something about Kyle. Kyle was cute and many girls fall for her too. I can't even count now how many girls confessed to him and how many girls he rejected. He was a chick magnet back then but really he doesn't play on girls feelings. He respects them and reject them kindly that even if the girls are rejected they don't feel bad about it. He was very kind to others and I admire that a lot about him. He is also the one who changed my boring and lonely personality back then. I even try to imitate him sometimes.

Okay Kyle ... Got it!"I said

"Haha... By the way when did Jake and Dayne left?"Kyle asked.

"Uhm just about two weeks ago. Oh yeah they're the one who sent you here to cheer me up when they leave right?" I asked Kyle.

"Uhm... Yeah but still even if they didn't. I'd still come and cheer you up. You're still my best friend after all right?" Kyle said.

"Ah..  yeah of course!" I cheerfully said.

"Sorry I hadn't been able to have time with you guys last year," Kyle apologized.

"Nah... It's okay Kyle we can't help that out anyway. We were in different sections. I understand the situation you know," I said with a smile.

"Okay then let's not be dramatic here," Kyle said while he place his arms around my shoulder.

He was still that kind and annoying friend I had back then and that really made me happy. I'm glad he was here now that Jake and Dayne left. I'm ready to begin my second year with a new start now.

I still can't shake off what I'm feeling. Every time I try to ignore it my eyes always finds a way back to her. I was like a metal and she is the magnet, I can't stop getting attracted to her.

"Is this what Kyle said earlier?" I asked myself .

"Nah... I won't fall her like that," I said to myself.

After some time now, I successfully got over her thinking that, "she's just cute that my eyes wants her and besides I don't even know her." I denied my feelings and just ignore it. Untill the next morning.

It was a great morning. The weather was fine and you can see the birds flying freely up in the clear sky going against the wind. I was early today cause we were assigned by the homeroom teacher to clean the classroom before classes will start. When I arrived, the others that are assigned to clean were playing on their phones and stuffs.

"What are these people waiting for, sitting there like royalties." I said to myself annoyingly.

"Come on... What's up with these lazy classmates of mine." I said again. Like I was one to talk about being lazy. So decided to just clean the room myself. I was just going to get some broom at the side of the door when it suddenly opened right in front of me. I was merely hit by that steel door. The next thing I saw was my crush in front of me. She stared at me and said, " oh I'm so sorry!" She apologized like it was a big matter though I didn't mind it.

"Uhm? Hello? I said I'm sorry," She said again

...dang it I can't speak. My heart was beating so fast and I'm getting so nervous...

"Uhm are you okay? Are you sick?" She asked with a concerned voice again.

....what's happening to me, why is my face getting red all of a sudden... I just turned away and faced the window while saying.

"Ah...uhm...eh... Do.. don't mind.. it... It's okay.. and I'm just... Feeling hot," I said with a trembling voice. I was so shy back then. She just said okay and just went to her seat.

"Hah... Finally I can calm down now. But seriously what was that feeling earlier," I asked myself.

"It was my first word with her and that was so embarrassing," I just took a broom and focus on what I'm doing. Then when I faced front.

"Uhm I'll help you clean," She said. "Just when did she get here and why is she so kind to me!" I thought to myself.

"Uhm are you assigned to clean too?" I asked while looking down.

"No,but I just want to help. Besides you look like the only one cleaning so I'll help you," She said kindly.

"Uhm...ah... Okay you can use this rags here to wipe the windows while I'll take care of cleaning the floor," I said with a low voice.

"Ah okay got it," She smiled nicely.

"Okay let's start now before our homeroom teacher will come,"I said.

"Okay...uhm... Ah Harres!.. right?" She said cheerfully.

"Huh?.. how did you know my name?" I asked her again.

"We introduced ourselves yesterday. Remember?" She said with a confused voice.

We did introduced ourselves yesterday and I was like a robot speaking in front bring laughed at by my classmates. It was so embarrassing that I totally wipe it out from my mind.

"Heh? You still remember that?" I asked shyly.

"Yes! You were so funny back then!" She said as she laughs.

... Dang it... It's so embarrassing, I wanna get out of here.

"Oh okay." I said with a low voice and just went away.

It was so embarrassing that Even Kyle is teasing me because of it and now even my crush is laughing at me. I don't even know what they're thinking of me. I don't know what to say. I just finished my work and went to my seat with a shy face. After just a bit I saw her approaching me. "What now?" I said to myself.

"Uhm Harres sorry for earlier,"she apologized.

"Uhm ah no... It's okay really. I'm fine," I said while looking away.

"Really? But you ignored me earlier when I was talking to you,"she said with a confused tone.

I didn't mean to ignore her. It's just that I was so embarrased and I was thinking too much that I didn't hear what she was saying back there.

"Uhm sorry about that. I just didn't hear you," I said while holding my head.

"Eh? Uhm okay then I'll go now," She said.

"Uhm okay.... Ah... What's your name again?" I asked nervously.

"Heh? You don't remember?" She asked.

"Uhm I wasn't listening yesterday," I said with a low voice.

"It's Shana. Shana B. Astreah," She said with a bright smile.

"Shana? Wow you're name sounds beautiful," I said shyly.

"Uhm you better remember it then!" She said with that angelic smile again.

"Ah... Uhm yeah," I said.

Damn what's happening to me. Why am I trembling when I talk to her and why is my heart beat so fast. My first talk with her was so embarrassing. It's even making my face turn red just by thinking of it. Well I guess that's what you call a first love just like what Kyle said.

.....But to me this love I'm feeling was like a disease and keeps on affecting every part of me changing my attitude and personality everytime I feel it....