Chapter 5: Closer

"Feelings grow the more you hold them back"

The cold breeze of the wind flows around the town. It was yet another bright day. I was on my way to school and saw kyle looking pale. I approach him and asked what's wrong. "SLAP!" I hit his head off. What the heck is wrong with this guy making me all worried from that depressed looking face. Just because the main protagonist of his favorite anime died tragically. Why the hell is he so depressed over an anime character of a love story.

"Oh come on Kyle there's no way a protagonist would die," I said with a smile."maybe they will revive him in the next episode."

"But that was a movie and it was the ending all ready," he said lamely.

What the hell is that show. I'd rather watch dragon Ball Z than that. Even Goku died so many times on his own show yet he kept on reviving. And did he really watch a love story or a tragedy. The heck is wrong with this idiot watching something like that and getting depressed. Well... Still he persist that he got so close to the main protagonist of that show and he loved it. So instead of telling him it's just fiction I just went with him and comfort him. The hell am I even doing comforting this idiot over an anime character. Oh yeah... By the way it's been allready two months now since the start of classes and I just made new friends, but not just that. I made girl friends. Pretty amazing right? But it's not what you think it is. See the space between girl and friends. Yeah you're right I didn't really got into a relationship or so. They we're just classmate friends that open up to me. And Shana... My feelings for her still hasn't changed. I'm still crushing on her but just from a distance. I couldn't get near her nor has the courage to talk to her. Actually we even only talked twice

In one month and those were just about assignments and stuffs like that. It didn't even count as a conversation. I always tried to hold my feelings back so that I can talk to her more often and not be shy but everytime I do. My feelings just keeps getting stronger and more deeper instead. That's when I decided to just let it flow instead of suppressing it. About how I should talk to her maybe I'll just go with the flow of life. Things won't go the way I want it to be anyways. I just sat from my chair on the edge and watched her smile and laugh with her friends. That's all I can do for now anyway. Most of all I think that my feelings are just temporary. Maybe they are deep and strong inside but there might be some time that it will fade. I though of that but my emotions keep on neglecting that idea. It's as if I don't want my feelings to fade that I want it to grow even deeper. My emotions tell me that I love this feeling I get everytime with her. I think my mind really doesn't go with what I'm feeling. I want to be close to her but how. I am the shy type person and I might not be able to tell her how I feel anyway.

"Hey Harres! Come here!" Kyle shouted from outside. Geez he is so annoying, shouting my name from outside... He's embarrassing me. I was curious so I just went out to see what was it. I mean he was very depressed just this morning because of the death of his favorite character.

"What is it?" I asked with an annoyed voice.

"Uhm Harres come over here!" He said cheerfully.

"What is it really?" I said again.

"Is that girl the new transferee here?" Kyle asked happily while pointing at the girl walking from the hallway.

"Uhm... Yeah she is... Why did you ask?" I said lamely.

"Uhm... Haha... I met her this morning," he said with that idiotic smile.

"And then?" I asked emotionless.

"She was really kind you know, she's not just cute but also nice. I dropped my I.D. and she picked it up for me. She even smiled while saying "is this yours". You know Harres I think I found the girl I'm looking for......," he explained to me for about a minute

"Blablabla okay...okay... That's enough!" I said annoyed, "I don't need those informations."

"Oh come on you monkey face why are you so bitter," Kyle said annoyingly.

"Stop calling me that you idiot!" I said to him annoyingly too,"If you like that girl then approach her."

"Heh?.. am I hearing that kind of advice from someone who gets all nervous just by talking to her crush," he said with a rather annoying voice.

"Hugh?! What did you say?!" I asked angrily.

"You want a fight," Kyle said angrily too.

"Hey guys don't fight okay," a soft kind voice speaked from behind.

It was Shana. We stopped from annoying each other and I looked back from Shana with a very red face. I was so embarrased.

"Uhm guys, why are you fighting here anyway? Besides your best friends right? You shouldn't fight here," Shana said so concerned.

"Uhm we're sorry," I apologized with a low voice.

"Uhm sorry Shana. It's just that someone here is having difficulties confessing his feelings to mmmmm.... mmmmm...." Kyle said after I stopped his mouth from leaking out more embarrassments.

"Uhm we're sorry Shana... Really ... We're just... Having ... A duel... We're not fighting... Okay see yah!" I said with a trembling voice while dragging Kyle away.

"mmmm.... What was that for!" Kyle said so angrily.

"Uhm sorry! I just stopped your mouth from spitting anymore embarrassments," I said to him.

Kyle and I fought for a while but later concedes with each other. We're best friends anyways. The transfer student was our classmate. She attended classes the next day. I think she is going to be popular among the boys especially when she entered the classroom and introduced herself.

"Hi everyone,"She said with a really soft voice and a kind smile. "I'm Mia D. Curtis, I am 13 years old, it's a pleasure studying with you guys."

Well Kyle was right she is cute and she seems kind more to it her personality is very gentle. Maybe that's why Kyle fall in love with her. It's two months now since she came and guess what, she is allready in a relationship with Kyle. All I can recall was that Kyle was so persistent in trying to get her attention. He even asked me to ask Mia's favorites and likes to help him get closer to her. Well all I can do is support him as his friend. Mia had gotten closer to me too infact she is one best friend now too. Kyle was very sweet to her. He always pester Mia every time they met and I know that Mia also has feelings for him she just don't want to tell Kyle. Of course I also didn't tell Kyle about it. I know he has the courage to confess so I just let them be. Untill that one Friday noon after classes Kyle asked me to bring Mia at the back where he was planning to confess. When we reached there Kyle was so nervous and so was Mia. I didn't stay long and leave the two of them there alone while I'll watch happily at the corner so that Kyle can tell his feelings with more confidence. It was like watching a live romance movie, Kyle said that he liked Mia for a long time now and all those I love you jokes he said was all true and Mia said he also likes him and blablabla it's getting corny now that I'm watching. Until Kyle asked her to be his girlfriend. Mia was doubting and I even thought Kyle would be rejected but really that didn't happen. It was a low voiced yes and Kyle was all red in his face. Makes me want to picture his red shy face and tease it to him. Kyle slowly grabbed Mia close to her untill... Of course I left allready it was rated 18 plus and above show. I just went home after that. I was happy for Kyle that he wasn't rejected. The next morning after that they were so awkward at each other. I mean why be shy when they're all ready in a relationship. Just one week after that they started dating untill now. They are like two sweet lovey dovey birds. Kyle still annoys me to also confess to Shana like he did but I can't do it. I have a very low self-esteem and I'd get really embarrassed about it. Although I did get closer to Shana from this past two months too. I'd talk to her when her friends are gone. I'd tease her sometimes to get her attention and he tries to tease me back but it doesn't work for me. I was glad I can communicate with her even just from teasing each other and academic stuffs. But still I'm way to shy to talk to her casually about things. I was even only able to tease her from a distance. I can't get myself to go nearer. I was too shy and my voice tremble. I really do like her but I have no courage to tell her how I feel. It's like I am being stopped every time an opportunity comes that I can get much more closer to her. My shyness is suppressing me. I still have no courage enough.

"I will pack up my courage and face this shyness before it'll turn to regret"