The 3 days before Harvard (part. 3)

There is a question: either Beyond has no ability to discern between real and false emotions, or he liked to be deceived. 100% cheated. And by none other than Lawliet, who is certainly not someone with considerable scenic talents.

L was daydreaming about it, because he doubted his plan could go so well. I mean, he had some hope, of course, but the way it was really working was scary and surreal. It also raised several hypotheses in the British mind.

First of all, at first, he even thought it was natural for Beyond to be surprised that way, suspicious and so far so good. But over the course of those two weeks, Birthday has been too cooperative, so to speak. He's not the B of the past two years. It is (frighteningly) stable.

Stability is not something you would associate with red-eyed, obviously. And this is just as terrifying as before, because the feeling that everything is back in a snap is eminent, utterly disturbing. Birthday had created an, let's say, impressive sense of personal space, freedom and empathy. But it is also possible that L is only underestimating his plan-making ability and Beyond's blindness and despair. A little of both: Lawliet was a good strategist and Beyond was a desperate patient. It may also be that Birthday's madness has a bit of that Machiavellian thing, which follows good as far as it goes, but if you need to use evil, use it. The root of the English mind was not violence, but the purest fear of being alone.

Anyway, what mattered was that pretending or not, falling or not, that situation was getting better, speaking as someone very optimistic. All this hoax resulted in conditions more acceptable to Lawliet. He was able to protect his physical integrity and would continue with the plan as far as it went. The human instinct always ends up leaning towards self-preservation.

And ambition was growing in the wheelchair's chest. If he had this chance, this opportunity for manipulation, he should try. Just take one step at a time, be careful and B would never be suspicious.

Of course, he was ignoring the facts that he had said exactly that about Light and that he was very reckless and in a hurry. Still, the rush is at least understandable when you are trapped in a moldy room, suffering constant psychological torture and eventual physical torture for almost, uh ... three years.

We understand.

Now, by the way, it was a turning point (as if everyone was not). Decisive and disgusting. It was time to walk a little more, to dare a little more. It was time to win the trust of his brother, who was the last person in the world from whom he wanted to win something.

Explaining: Beyond is moved to the physical. He's sticky, sticky like radioactive gum. Words are not so valuable. Touch and actions are. It may seem unbearable at what this would culminate (in fact it was), but it was something that needed to be done. I am not saying that L did not feel horrible, but follow my logic: Beyond will touch him, day more, day less. If Lawliet manages to manipulate this to his advantage, it is a type of retaliation. It is better to stop being the victim, make some deliberate and subtle choices and turn the tide.

Haha, "touching it" is a hell of an understatement, but you can understand it.

(Honestly where L got all this effort from is a mystery, considering that his head hurt a lot lately).

[...]

L was nervous as if he were going to perform for an audience. If something goes wrong, they can laugh at you. But if something goes wrong with what Lawliet plans, worse things happen. He was clearly scared, but neither he nor I want to waste time thinking about how horrifying the situation he was putting himself in was. Lawliet has adopted a strategy: he will, he has to face it as a plan. Be cold, calculating. Empathy for himself was not much help and also, he knew to be cold-blooded. Her mind hurt, but she was rested. They say that sleeping is good for the brain, his was eight years old for that.

It was still dawn, but not dark, as the cracks in the door gave off a clear, timid light. Four-thirty in the morning, possibly. Lawliet had learned to catalog the hours by that small light that leaked into the room, but his prisoner skills are beside the point.

The case itself was what he would face. He was right in front of her, inches from her face, mediocrately pretending to be asleep. Why was one of them always pretending to sleep? Easy, falling asleep together is too healthy for their relationship patterns. Anyway, the first obstacle was the doubt between "waking him up" or waiting for him to open his eyes. But L was afraid that if he waited too long, he would end up giving up.

He fidgeted under the sheet, just because his arm was being crushed by his body (the partially broken arm).

And that was enough to open B's eyelid. The red eyes peered down, like a child when he goes to check if his parents are still in the room. Lawliet took the opportunity and said the first thing that came to mind.

─ What time is it? ─ He whispered.

Beyond finally opened his eyes completely. He still hadn't gotten used to this decent dialogue thing yet. News always takes time to become routine. It took a few seconds to respond.

─ Uh, I don't know, Lawli. About two in the morning I think, why?

Lawliet breathed, the chip falling that the action had started. Had that question been too suspicious? What the hell did L want to know the time?

You see how L was already becoming paranoid.

(And B's hours still managed to be wrong, frankly.)

─ I feel out of place. ─ And I really felt it. It was the sleeping pill's fault, that powerful weapon that bewilders you from the notion of time. A perfect answer.

─ Ah. ─ Birthday articulated as if he were going to continue with the speech. Of course he knew what it was about, a splash of guilt permeating his voice. ─ You are not sleepy, are you?

But what a silly question.

─ I feel like I passed out.

─ You were just very tired. ─ He blew, even more guilty. L nodded, eyes on his feet, as B's gaze was extremely heavy. His hair covered much of his face, leaving only the root to emerge from his face. That way, at least you wouldn't have to worry about their expressions.

The silence lasted a few moments, but Beyond did not want to let the conversation die. He would never want to waste these opportunities. They were so close, Lawliet was so close that he could barely think. I just knew that I wanted to keep hearing his voice.

─ Did you sleep well?

It was almost funny.

─ This room is very cold. ─ L replied. And again it was true. His fingertips looked like they were going to break from being so cold. He felt like a piece of ice with a headache.

─ Cold? ─ Beyond asked quietly. It turns out that L was never cold. Like, never. Not even in England's winters, did he just wrap himself up because Ellen forced him, and he was absolutely irritated by it.

Someone used to say that Lawliet was not able to feel cold because her skin was made of snow. What a cute comparison it would be if Birthday didn't hate that someone.

Past memories, amen.

Still, he couldn't help but wonder. ─ I will check your temperature. ─ Announced.

Her hand reached for his forehead like a flake of cotton, plunging into his hair with the utmost delicacy. I couldn't deny that it was great to have an excuse to make contact and that you almost forgot your real purpose.

His skin was burning.

"My God ..." he whispered, sliding his fingers up to his neck, feeling the burning almost bother him. In the same way, Lawliet protested with that cold skin against yours. ─ Lawli, you have a fever, a lot of fever.

L flinched, as if those words managed to intensify his glacial discomfort.

─ No ... I'm just cold. ─ He hit low. He knew it was true, with all that time in the moldy basement, nothing more natural. But he couldn't let that get in the way of his plans.

─ Seriously, you need to take medicine, your forehead is bubbling. ─ He decreed getting up, well before L could stop it. He left the room.

Lawliet didn't even have time to reevaluate how it would affect his strategy. Soon B came, with a pill, a glass of water and a worried look. They both knew it was Birthday's fault, but clearly no one spoke.

Another thing that L hated as much as feeling cold was taking medicine, but it was so bad that the prospect of getting the drug out of his head stopped pulsing and his body back to normal temperature was tempting.

Beyond put everything on the wood of the bed, knelt on it and helped his brother to get up. L's muscles seemed to be numb, an unfortunate numbness spreading as he tried to maintain his balance and lean against the wall. He took the pill that passed by scraping his throat, which caused about three coughs and a near-vomit, but that finally settled in his stomach.

─ There are thirty minutes for that. ─ B murmured, rummaging through the wardrobe and removing a coat from there. For the first time, L didn't care about packing clothes. He dressed quickly. The warmth of the fabric significantly increased his awareness, which consequently reminded him of his plan.

His twin completed:

─ I'll heat something for you to eat.

No, not on an opportunity like this.

─ Beyond. ─ He said aloud, sounding satisfactorily desperate. ─ I'm not hungry, stay here.

Birthday turned and flew there again. There was no need to ask twice. As much as he was concerned, the image of feverish and shrunken L was enough to convince him to stay there for eternity.

He lay down, wrapping Lawliet completely, both with the sheet and with his body. She left only his head out, but stuck between his neck and shoulder. The arms held him around the waist as if he were going to fly if he was not trapped.

Lawliet felt her cold intensifying with the inevitable fear, the pill turning in her belly. B couldn't avoid that selfish feeling by taking advantage of the warmth that emanated from his brother's body, next to the blood under his skin, making him red at his extremities, like his nose. At the same time I wanted to heal him and make him feel colder, so I could have more of that fragile Lawliet, pressing unconsciously against him in search of warmth.

And L could go on with his schemes, which at that moment were absurdly successful. He already felt so cold (literally and metaphorically) that he already knew that, despite his weak body, his mind was strong enough to go on.

There are really evils that come for good.

─ It looks like my head is going to freeze. ─ He commented on the curve of B's ​​neck, which was surprised by L's spontaneity and the warm air against him. It almost shook. He stepped back a little and looked at the reason for the speech: The other's nose was so red it looked like an illustration. It was vaguely funny and also adorable. Beyond touched the tip of the cartilaginous surface, feeling the cold of his fingers being welcomed by the cold of the nose. Lawliet continued to stare at his feet.

Birthday took a deep breath, without receiving any protest he didn't see why to stop. His fingers went, slowly like spider legs, sliding down his face, taking advantage of his cheeks, leaving marks where he passed so white the skin was.

He stood there, making his movements, occasionally going to L's forehead, running his almost non-existent eyebrow.

─ It is five in the morning. ─ L raised his head so suddenly that Beyond moved back. ─ When the light touches the fourth ceramic.

The red eyes blinked in confusion, but that soon gave way to a smile.

─ You knew the time. ─ He declared, his teeth showing. ─ I was testing myself.

Lawliet made an effort to hold his gaze with his.

─ It is easy. The light is approximately thirty minutes in each square. So just tell. The big problem is the cloudy days, so you can't tell. ─ He pointed to the orange energy, a simple strategy for B to stop looking at him as a murderous clown. The older one followed the direction, but it was not long before he turned to what he really wanted to look at.

─ Brilliant, but you know I could have got a watch if you had asked. ─ Sustained the smile.

Of course, I couldn't. He wasn't going to just come and say, "Hey, B, could you give me a watch, since you don't let me see the sunlight?" It would be like, suicide. But he didn't say any of that. On the contrary, he made the greatest effort to give something like a smile, which confounded the muscles of his face, since it had been a long time since they had moved that way. This, however, did not seem to matter much to Birthday. He increased his laughter even more, satisfied.

Nobody said anything for a while. Beyond went back to his serious, focused expression. The eyes of both looked at each other until the look was untenable and Beyond himself diverted his own almost out of obligation. He walked around the room and looked at him again, feeling more and more welcomed by the temperature of the other, when it should have been the other way around.

─ I would hate to warm your nose and make it white again, you look beautiful with it like that. ─ She whispered, the air passing over her face and his. L swallowed before B completed: ─ But I don't think I can help it.

Birthday extinguished the space between them, almost without moving, since they were already ridiculously close. Lawliet knew this was going to happen at any moment (and that was part of his plan), but still, that internal and desperate scare came for the love of God that someone would take him away. But this time it was different. Beyond touched his lips so lightly that he barely felt it, which was a step forward compared to the times it has already happened. He didn't close his eyes, he couldn't be afraid. Soon his brother walked away, staring at him again, turning as red as he did, even though the reasons were absurdly different.

Birthday's heart was beating slower than normal, different from the times he had already kissed L. Now it was, in fact, different. Not using force was different. It was much calmer, much closer to being reciprocal. Reciprocity was such a good deal.

B got up. Part of his torso casting a shadow over Lawliet. Her hands stopped supporting him and started to hold L's face, just so he wouldn't try to look in the other direction. So she bent down again, covering his lips again. A little stronger, just to make sure that moment wouldn't end

and that his brother would not return to reality to hide himself as if he were a turtle.

He stood up. Lawliet remained with the same calm expression, slightly sleepy and feverish.

─ Are you okay? ─ He smoothed his cheek.

L heard the question and immediately knew what it was about. It certainly wasn't about your fever.

─ I am. ─ It was not entirely a lie, to be honest. The plan was going well and that was what mattered.

─ Good. ─ He laughed, crawling cautiously until he was more comfortable, totally on top of the other boy, so that his whole panoramic view was strictly Beyond. She kissed him again and again, just as quickly and poppingly as before, as if it were an addiction. Only after this adaptation phase did the red-eyed man dare to stay there, stuck to him without retreating, exploring with his tongue something he thought he knew well.

It was a long dawn.

[...]

Some hours later

Light played at drawing on the fogged glass of the back seat window, because if he stood still, he would collapse. His head was statically leaning against the transparent surface, feeling the gravitational pressure forcing him backwards as the car climbed uphill.

─ 19 years old ?! ─ Kyomi snapped, scaring both Misora ​​and Yagami. She had Lawliet's file in her hands. ─ Are you still in your third year?

Light smiled without even realizing it. It was nostalgic.

─ No, seriously, Light, I really want to see this boy. ─ He sneaked in until he met brown eyes. ─ I am personally going to hand him a trophy.

Naomi laughed. ─ Is Light so unconquerable?

She straightened up on the bench.

─ You have no idea. He has won three regional tennis championships. He's been the leader of the class since he entered school. And you're going to Harvard tomorrow. He's too good for this world.

─ You can stop talking like I'm not ...

─ Harvard? The Englishwoman turned quickly, her eyes wide with pure surprise. ─ I can't believe you managed to get in there.

The Japanese man looked away from her. He crossed his arms. He didn't want to think about college now. Especially since he had less than forty-eight hours left in Japan and had left something that he should have done a long time ago. It was hard to think that I would have to make potentially important decisions in such a short period of time.

In fact, with each meter traveled, he became more and more nervous. The pants on his uniform were mistreated with the sweat emerging from his hand. He knew very well that they were close. He blinked and swore he saw L right there, right in the middle of the street, but he refused to believe the morbid pranks in his mind. Even because he didn't have any more time. The car suddenly stopped, cutting off all his thoughts.

─ If you're right, we're here. ─ Misora ​​announced.

The house could not be more common, a watery brown, a little smaller than most, but nothing that made it stand out. The three got out of the car at different times, and Light didn't even look like he was going to get out. He closed the car door behind him and stared at the gray door as if he were watching a murder scene.

Takada put his five fingers on the boy's shoulder. She smiled, transmitting her confidence as if it were a virus, and followed her to the entrance. He climbed the two steps, and pressed the bell.

There were those seconds of waiting, the mechanical melody resounding from inside the house, pure torture.

Light didn't even stop to think what he would say when the door opened. What would be your excuses for leaving him for three months, without even having the courage to send a miserable message. Or how he would explain that the "love" he tried to prove that day was as weak as Lawliet suspected.

I really didn't know. But he was already there, about to face the descent of the roller coaster. I would fix it, for sure.

It certainly is. If the door opened. That's not what happened. Everything remained quiet and cold. Takada looked sideways at the two behind him, but tried to press the button again. And once again the music came, returning to the waiting cycle.

No. Nothing. Nobody.

But come on, a third and hopeful time before facing the truth.

─ There is no one at home, Takada. ─ Misora ​​stated the obvious, that it was amazing to be spoken aloud.

She searched Yagami's eyes again, as if searching for what he thought of that. His expression was not particularly different, although it now reflected frustration.

─ Do you know of any relatives, Light? It may be that he is with them.

─ Ah, no, I don't know. ─ He didn't take his eyes off the door. Maybe Lawliet would not manifest at any time?

─ So, we could try to call. ─ Misora ​​suggested, leaning back in the car.

─ We tried yesterday, but we couldn't. ─ Takada replied, pulling the boy's arm slightly to get his attention. ─ No clue?

He breathed, nodding. I had no clues. I didn't know anything.

"But it's not possible." Naomi stood in front of him, arms crossed. ─ This boy cannot have disappeared like that. I need my partner. How come you don't know anything?

It appeared to be a rhetorical question, but the way she looked at Yagami was too thoughtful for someone who didn't want an answer. He looked over at her, almost startled.

─ I don't know, Naomi. ─ He blew and stared at the floor.

─ Light, you have an obligation to know something. Come on, you're not going to fuck with the exchange that costs your liver if you don't pass. ─ She put a hand on his shoulder, not out of solidarity, but out of sheer pressure.

And Light already had enough pressure.

─ Damn, I already said I don't know. ─ He took two steps back. His tone was blunt.

Takada sighed. ─ Take it easy, you.

Naomi approached him again, never failing to look at him. She tapped a foot right in front of her as if she was standing

march.

─ No, he should explain himself. I bet you know something and don't want to talk to us. I bet it was him who lost the boy just because he was not as nice as the other friends and not to have to live with his "double" and ...

─ If this shit is that important, I'll get you a new pair. And by the way, you don't know anything, nor do you have the right to accuse me like that.

She laughed, swirled her head in the air and then looked at the boy again.

─ It is not an accusation. It is deduction. I'm just looking at things from the right angle. Isn't that what you did with Takada? It was just like that.

─ So this is why you are taking this personally? ─ He laughed out of the corner of his mouth, as dry as she was.

─ No. I just can't accept that you don't know anything about the boy you almost ate. And who you're supposed to like.

He looked at Takada, outraged that she had told Naomi everything, so brazenly. She looked away, but deep down it was not out of shame, but because she agreed with her girlfriend. Even he agreed, let's be frank.

He snarled

─ Leave it, I'll be back alone.

He walked away, mistreating the poor man on the floor. Maybe Kyomi had tried to stop it and maybe Naomi hadn't let it, but only maybe, because he never turned his back to check.

[...]

Good thing Light was going down the slope, not going up. Because your body was tired and busy supplying your brain with energy to be able to think. He was certainly angry, but not exactly angry. It was more like a feeling of fatigue, and he didn't have the strength to go any further. I didn't want to have to think. I just wanted to have to move, like an animal. There is little to go. And thinking now is only self-destruction. Only one day to go. Yagami had to get back to caring for himself, doing what was necessary.

He took long steps in order to leave all of this behind as quickly as possible. But it's hard to leave anything behind when you're so fucking worried.

Her cell phone vibrated. His mother, as if reading his thoughts, told him to get the rest of the documents from school. This was the undeniable proof that he had to move forward, both literally and metaphorically. The school was relatively far away, going exactly in a straight line.

(Let me tell you a secret: He was extremely tempted to go back there and see if he couldn't find Lawliet at the door, analyzing who possibly rang and left. Something said he was there.)

He walked until he got close to the building that still had the faded sign. Its defense mechanisms played Harvard in his mind, convincing him of how good it would be to realize that dream, and even being more daring and comforting, silently stating as if it were a sin, that there would be other Lawliets out there, just as intriguing. After all, Harvard was the land of intriguing people.

He crossed the courtyard, through the almost empty corridors. He arrived at the office, once again abusing his privileges. Some employees said good morning. He replied, but it was not a good day.

─ So are you really going tomorrow? ─ Mikami appeared beside him, carrying a huge pile of papers (which automatically triggered certain memories). He smiled and then withered.

─ It is a unique opportunity. ─ He smiled, probably sounding more fake than he thought he was capable of. But Teru continued to go through his paperwork, without noticing this detail.

─ Is everything already resolved? I mean, for the trip ...

─ Ah, yes. I came here just to get some documents and history.

Mikami nodded, adjusted his glasses, strangely nervous.

─ I don't want to sound inconvenient Light ...

The brown man stopped and looked at him for the first time. Generally, things did not go very well when the conversation started with these ways. Own experience, he would say.

─ I wanted to know if you already chose, you know ...

To choose. Choose what? To go or not to Harvad? Dealing with guilt or not? Run away from problems or not? Nah, Light understood. It was just that day was melancholy philosophical and almost everything that happened contributed to his anxiety. He smiled at his idiocy, and only then did he remember to answer.

─ Of course, I choose you as the new president. There is no doubt. The job is yours.

"All yours," he thought.

Mikami smiled, wide and apparently, genuinely happy. It was strange to see him happy. He was always a less social version of Light Yagami, with all the attributes and a lot of intelligence in many areas. Except in social intelligence, this he did not dominate. He was not very good at pretending to like the futile things that Light pretended to like. But it is not for lack of will, but for lack of skill, talent. This talent can also be considered a curse, in the relativism of life.

It is indeed a very philosophical day.

─ I'm going. ─ Mikami announced. ─ Good luck in Harvard,

I hope everything goes well.

Light agreed, curling her lips. The boy left the room, his polished shoes making noises on the equally polished floor. Yagami was alone again (as he always was, in reality).

Dramatic.

He ventured through the documents, wanting to get out of there soon. I forgot to mention that this room was not a room. It was The room. Three months ago he was lying on that floor, teasing an Englishman there, kissing him, possessively. Now he was just using the floor as a place to put his feet. I was just stepping on it. And that's all he knows how to do. Stepping on people

He opened the drawers and looked for the letter "L" (ironic, isn't it?). He found his record without any major difficulties. All I already had was enough, I think. He left the room without hesitation, slammed the door too hard, and looked back, but I'm sure he just turned to check that he had not broken the handle.

At that moment, I think, if Light had taken a little longer in that corridor ... If the door handle had broken and he had to go check it out, or if some ray of phenomenon came and held him there for a few minutes today, he probably wouldn't be a Harvard student. It would be the teacher. Or anything, a great lawyer, a revolutionary, etc. I just know that nothing happened, Yagami went right that way to the secretary, to get the last thing that was missing.

That last thing was a document, literally speaking. However, as he entered behind the counter, greeted the girl who worked there, and took a panoramic look around the waiting area, he was faced with the last thing that was really missing.

He saw (if his eyes are right) a black and white blur or a panda, you can't tell at first. It was a boy who camouflaged himself on the white sofa, delivered only by his hair and eyes that sucked all the melanin from his body.

Lawliet, by the way.

Sitting right on the fucking couch in front of you.