2 : Goodbye , Tang Yue (b)

She has been wandering over for a long time ago, attached herself into the darkness. She has long forgotten her existence. It's as if death already befall upon her yet she didn't think that was depressing.

The wind roared in her ears, whispers of grief echoed endlessly. She somewhat recognized it seemed to tell her something; that was unfortunately already deeply buried inside her soul. Even she somewhat has a taste of feeling that's called uncertainty whether she ever would regain back her lost memories.

Her memories came into deformed moulds, like a landscape clouded with an impenetrable barrier of mist. No matter how much she put effort to broke the smoke, she always failed.

However, a sound came from faraway pulled her attention. Her heart jolted in a pleasant sensation, she somehow recognizes the voice yet her mind still blank like a pure canvas.

A warmth light touched her freezing fingers, she understood it attempts to guide her towards the unknown. However, she somehow trusted the mysterious ray. It as if, she knew it wouldn't harm her.

She let herself carried away by this strange feeling of warmth. The vast shadow that entrapped her gradually fell apart, the interference from foreign light destroyed the frail thread of darkness. The glaring lights pierced her body, but it didn't leave any wounds to her flesh. Relief washing all of her soul and she breathed a sigh of joy.

The voices from a distant place became closer to her ears. Her limp body regained tremendous strength to wake up from her slumber.

Flashes of visions flooding her mind. Throughout the fast-moving memories, she tasted numerous feelings; disappointment, frustration, sorrow and desperation. Her senses sharpened and at last, she able to felt her body. Her lashes flickered, her hands flinch slightly, the low murmuring voices first welcomed her.

Scents of fragrant lotus assailed her nose, there was a clattering noise near her. QingWan saw a girl placed down a bowl filled with dark liquid on the wood table beside her.

QingWan began to notice her lethargic and her body lack of vitality. QingWan jumped out from her drowsiness when her brain finally awakened. She recalled everything that happened when she fainted.

Yu QingWan, the sole daughter of Yu Shu Xin and Chen Xu Jian was her current identity. Tang Yue was her past life. She knew now she no longer Tang Yue. However, she still has difficulty accepted this. The emotions of Tang Yue still freshly embedded inside herself.

QingWan looked at her parents with caution. Chen Xu Jian, her father was an elegant man with graceful demeanour. Adorned with bamboo-coloured robes and hair tied neatly into a bun, although his age already reached mid-thirties, he still has a youthful appearance.

Whilst Yu Shu Xin has a pair of sharp eyes, seductive yet fierce appearance. Her choice of dresses always the colour of fire. Many thoughts she was rebellious, Yu Shu Xin never was a woman who willingly succumbed to men.

However, Chen Xu Jian managed to capture the tigress heart. Both of opposing characters have been in a marriage for fifteen years harmoniously.

Yu Shu Xin and Chen Xu Jian saw their daughter in a trance and stared at each other for a while. Yu Shu Xin might look like a bold woman, but she actually not good at expressing her affection. Her eyes moved to Chen Xu Jian with anxiousness apparent on her gaze.

As if he understood what Yu Shu Xin conveyed from her eyes, Chen Xu Jian approached QingWan and moved a stool to sat closer to his daughter, "Wanwan, how do you feel?"

Obvious concern laced on his voice. QingWan observed her father expression, he looked distressed and worried. Then she also saw her mother stood tensely not far from her father. QingWan knew very well her mother also worried about her.

The moment QingWan opened her mouth, she felt her throat parched and hurt. The delicate face of hers looked pitiful, both husband and wife's heart clenched in pain. Chen Xu Jian hurriedly handled the medicinal soup to QingWan, "Drink this slowly, Wanwan."

QingWan obediently poured the liquid down to her throat and she frowned at the bitterness of the soup. Even the smell of the medicinal soup really awful yet the sight of her parents stared at her without blinking made her want to finish the soup.

"Good daughter, good daughter. Have the candies to solvent the bitter taste of the medicine," The way of Chen Xu Jian praised QingWan made her somewhat embarrassed. Even her mother nodded in satisfaction as if she emptied that bitter herb already a great achievement. Qingwan threw the candy into her mouth immediately.

QingWan lowered her head as she felt her face became warmer, she concentrated on the sweet taste melted on her tongue. Her brain racked up with how should she responded to every acts she received from both of her parents.

Fortunately, QingWan personality was exactly the same as Tang Yue. Both of two existence indeed her, nevertheless, QingWan still felt she was Tang Yue; the woman who was lack of everything.

QingWan never steps her foot out from her courtyard because of her frail body. She recalled there was a time when QingWan exposed to the sunlight for a half hour and she collapsed for three days because of heatstroke. Or one time when she got high fever just because a maid forgot to closed her room's window when QingWan sleeping.

After that, Yu Shu Xin reconstructs the rules of households, decreased the number of assigned servants and reallocate QingWan's courtyard.

Chen Xu Jian built the largest courtyard for QingWan, strengthening the defence of her resident by placing stronger guards and layers of the barrier.

Both father and mother knew QingWan's fondness with flowers, thus they gave her enormous garden for her. They also squeezed their free time to accompany QingWan, which often caused guilt inside her heart. Although QingWan unfamiliar with the world outside her house, she wasn't ignorant of how busy her parents were.

Chen Xu Jian already left, he went to instruct the servants to prepared nutritional dishes for dinner and at the same time he also directly inspect the process. Yu Shu Xin pondering for a while and decided to move toward QingWan. She awkwardly pats QingWan's head, "Do you still upset with mother?"

QingWan raised her head, her confused expression was adorable and Yu Shu Xin's hand itched to pinch the lovely cheeks of hers. Then, QingWan recalled Yu Shu Xin promised her to stay with QingWan for three days. Unfortunately on the promised day, Yu Shu Xin needed to attend the annual meeting of the main family of Yu Clan.

QingWan shook her head slowly, she softly spoke while her stares at her carefully, as if scared to spoke incorrectly, "How can I upset with honourable mother? I know honourable mother has a pressing matter to handle that day."

Yu Shu Xin's brows knitted into a frown, the moment QingWan witnessed the expression of her mother became dissatisfied, fear crawled inwardly.

"Honourable mother, I'm sorry. This daughter is wrong, forgive my rudeness," Yu Shu Xin is taken aback, she didn't say anything yet her daughter's face looks terrified.

QingWan panicked when she saw her mother didn't respond to her apology. Yu Shu Xin suddenly dawned into the realisation.

For years, Yu Shu Xin and her husband always keeping their eyes close to QingWan. Both of them tried their best to become a good parent. But as QingWan's age increasing by passing years, the child was too sensible and obedient. Yu Shu Xin thought the child easy to raise, yet she hoped the child would become more lively and throwing tantrums occasionally.

Witnessed QingWan's behaviour now, of course, Yu Shu Xin knew her daughter well-behaved nature came from the fear of abandonment!

Yu Shu Xin has no heart to watch this, her hands reached QingWan's cheek and caressed it, "Silly child, you never wrong. You also not rude. Even if it's true, that you are rude, you are my daughter. Acting haughty and arrogant isn't wrong!"

Qingwan blinked and unsure with what she heard. Never crossed her mind the day when her mother would encourage her to 'wrong' path of being a proper daughter. However, a sense of happiness grew within herself and QingWan couldn't restraint a grin to formed from her lips.

"Wanwan, being filial is good. But what mother wants isn't a brainless doll. Mother wants a daughter who fearlessly expresses her feeling, free and happy."

QingWan's lashes became wet, those words from her mother affected her deeply. It's as if the suffocating feeling that long crushed herself suddenly lifted by her mother.

Back then, QingWan always hopes for tiny bits of affection. Later, her innocent thought withered and she even decided such a beautiful family love wasn't something low like her deserve.

QingWan was still unfamiliar with her second life. She thoughts her heart already died, but she was wrong. In the corner of her heart, she still has a wish. It was a simple wish of hers. It didn't matter if everything just a dream. She didn't want to wake up forever.

"Remember, you are Yu QingWan. The daughter of Yu Shu Xin and Chen Xu Jian. Don't afraid to fight for anyone who bullies you. Mother and father will support what you want to do!"

Yu QingWan baffled with her mother consent towards violence. Still, she was happy. It felt like it's been a very long time she smiled. Yes, she was Yu QingWan. Tang Yue was no longer alive. It's time to start a new life. Farewell, Tang Yue.