TBBM XXII. Engrossed With The Chinese

He hugged me back, even tighter.

"Sssh," he shushed me again. "Stop crying, already. I'll protect you. I'm your master, remember? Just trust me. Stop defying my wishes. Stop doubting me. Just trust me."

Just trust me.

Just trust me.

Just trust me.

Dub dub. Dub dub.

Dub dub. Dub dub.

My heart felt like exploding.

"Hicks, who told you to wear this clip? Do you think it looks nice?"

+++

My heart, it kept racing like that every time Red did something nice to me. I probably felt like that because he wasn't generally a nice person; or, at least I hadn't seen him be nice before. I meant, I could understand my heart drumming with James but why had it been beating even louder with Red?

Confusions.

"Mother," I called as I arrived.

"Yes, my daughter?" she beamed. She didn't open the food stall tonight. "How's day one?"

"If... If your heart races, does that mean you have high blood pressure? Like the illness?"

"Not all the time. You know my heart races every weekend when you're not in school and I could do your hair."

I sighed. That answer was very helpful.

+++

I intended to go on duty on Wednesday so I could drop by the confessionary and see James at the same time. He said there would be a special mass held today to announce the Great Human Star Formation. It was the university's second year of doing the feat and everyone was talking about it.

"James..." the idea of seeing him made me giggle.

I started to feel different since I came back after that one week break. I thought it'd be very difficult to adjust but, in reality, people didn't really care. At this age, each of us faced different challenges on our own to even have time to really mind other people's business. I realised this after my moments with Red, Roma and James. All this time, I complained about my circumstances and envied others for their privileges in life but, I realised they weren't really perfect, after all.

Since that realisation, I decided to start dressing up the way I wanted to, without much thought of other people's opinion.

I wore a red tank top and shorts for that day. I felt light. Instead of the usual jacket or coat, I completed my get up with a pastel cardigan and red sneakers. It was comfortable. I could feel my chest budding even before I got my latest shot so my mother started making me wear t-shirt bras.

"I hope I don't suck today," I prayed earnestly as I faced the way to the chapel, tapping on my birthmark lightly. "This is Jopet two-point-oh!"

Just then, my self-talk was interrupted. I heard guys counting 'one and two' repeatedly and as they neared, the girls clamored.

"Varsity," I gaped. "Jim-jim..."

Funny, some girls jogged with them. And uhm... the PAC girls were one of them, bickering with the other girls.

But they weren't really who I cared to see. I craned my neck at every direction I could, to potentially spot James.

"Jap!" I heard his soothing early morning voice. I stopped. Actually, more appropriately, I stopped and giggled to myself. He was running my direction.

"Jim," I finally turned around. But I clumsily hit on the door frame as the chapel gates opened. Those were huge openings. "Ouch!"

The documents I was holding scattered on the ground. I couldn't bring myself to focus on gathering them. James, he was sweating on his forehead, on his neck. I liked his smell.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Francis, the caretaker of the chapel was quick to apologise. He moved to help pick up my things but James stopped him.

"I'll do it," James insisted, as he started getting his hands on them.

I wanted to take my share of the burden but... I couldn't take my eyes off of him. And time... why did it always slow like this when his face was near mine. I couldn't keep my hands to myself. I wiped his sweat off his forehead.

"Thank-you," he chanted, catching his breath. "Don't let another guy help you, other than me."

"H-huh?" I heard exactly as he said it but, I just wanted him to say it again.

"Only Jim-jim should help you like this," he took my filing case, secured all my documents back in and handed it to me. "You look good today."

He put his hand on my head, tapping it gently.

My jaw dropped.

Dear Saint,

How could I ever behave myself in his presence?

"Jap," James inspected my face. "You're staring at me blankly again."

"D-do you want to marry me?" I totally lost it. He was too gorgeous.

"Uhm..." he gave it a thought. "I think you're hungry. Breakfast?"

#StupidLine

+++

"So we have an excursion in September," James opened as we were seated in the Square Pantry. "You guys?"

"Uh... not really sure. Maybe," we were taking big slurps on the chocolate shake we ordered. James was addicted to that shake. His glass was already half-empty.

"Do you wanna join me?" he inquired.

"Like I'll join you in your college trip?"

"Besides, my friends wanted to meet you," he nodded.

I felt my stomach flutter. I bit my lip. He was going to introduce me. Introduce me to his friends. But I wasn't ready yet. Either that, or I was just afraid to hear their opinions of me. I literally just started acing it in my class. I needed more time.

"Yes? No?" he pushed for it as he chomped on his quarter pounder.

"That's my birth month actually. So, I was planning on skipping trips altogether. Besides, it's not like I can afford---"

"I can save for you and me---"

"No! You can't!" I cautioned. "You always helped me. But I never really got to help you with anything. What's happening? I'm being teary again."

"Just be there for me," he grinned as he wiped my tears with his fingers. "Your company is good. Makes me less lonely."

I stared at him. He offered his hanky.

"Did you notice I cry easily these days?" I wanted to focus on him but I was bothered by this crying bug I appeared to have caught.

"Must be your hormones," he leaned on his back.

"Isn't that annoying to you?"

"You're cute so... it's okay."

Cute? He called me cute!

I wished Boasty called me that, too. He always called me ugly.

"Jap," James sipped on my glass as his was empty. "Here's the plan. You join your trip and I'll crash in your bus."

"It's not allowed, is it?" I elbowed him, laughing.

"We have several weeks to form an alibi," his eyes beamed bright. "I'll pay for you if you can't. It's my birthday treat for you, little Miss."

I giggled again. I didn't want his money. Just him. But, he came as a package, I guessed.

"We're gonna sit together?" I teased.

He winked.

He was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I couldn't begin to imagine what turn my college life would have taken if I didn't meet him in that speaking class. I'd be willing to fail that test over and over, even in another life, if that resulted to me and him crossing paths again.

"Jap," he broke my reverie, pointing to my mouth. "You got drools again."

"I'm not slobbering!" I stood up, in reflex; my voice loud in defense. No. Everyone in the pantry ended up looking at me.

James chuckled wholeheartedly.

#Fail

@~@