Change of Plans

ALANA

I sat with my head between my legs on the floor in the bathroom, craving for something I hadn't touched in years. Namely, a cigarette. Not only was it harmful to health, it was also not allowed in our religion. I'd secretly gotten addicted to it when I was younger. Mr Steve's wife used to have a pack she put in her drawer that she would give me until I lost sense of who I was and what I was meant to become.

So, yeah. My past sucked. But I knew Knight's sucked even more. The fact that his dad and assistant had to set him up with random people and he hadn't fallen in love after all this time, made me so sad. Yes, I loved him and I knew if he got to know who I was, he would love me too—the only difference was, he'd consider me a younger sister.

I sighed, banging my head against the squeaky-clean tiled wall. This bathroom was a mansion, if I was being honest. I could put up my bed in here, it was so big.

It was at times like this that the need to just take one swig got so high, it was cloying. I tightly clenched my fists, nails indenting the soft skin of my palms. Why had Rees done this to me? How was I supposed to be at ease when I knew Knight was somewhere in this building with another girl, having a candlelight dinner or something like that? She could become his wife. She could be the one he fell madly in love with.

As painful as that was for me, I also knew it wouldn't be so easy for him to love someone. People like us—him and I—were wired differently. Our pasts cloaked us in layers of darkness, of mistrust and gave us the idea that we could never be happy. Sure, I was content with my life but I also never let anybody get too close to me. Even my best friend didn't have that kind of right.

"Ugh, what do I do?" My voice echoed in the empty bathroom.

I knew I didn't stand a chance with Knight and he deserved to be happy. He deserved to have a loving wife and cute little munchkins with wide, emerald eyes. I stood up in an instant and was out of the door and walking towards Rees.

I found him exactly where I'd expected him to be—giving orders in the kitchen on the 60th floor. When he saw me, his eyes widened.

"I will do as you said but it would be on my terms. That's my condition. Whatever happens, it would be on my terms. If you have no problem with that, I can go serve them right now."

He appeared to be in a state of shock. "What changed your mind?"

"I want him to be happy. He deserves it more than anyone in the world."

If that meant stepping all over my heart and crushing me, I could bear it. For Knight, for all the sacrifices he'd made for me, I could endure anything in the world.