Discoveries (10.1)

When Kaedan had woken Lumina up by saying that Apocalypse was speaking to them, she wasn't sure what she had expected.

"Why are you here? How are you here? Why her?" Leon was asking rapid-fire questions, and she felt the need to reach over and pat his back. The boy looked stressed out of his mind. 

"If I knew the answers to any of those, would I really allow you all to see me?" Risále responded flatly, but it wasn't Risále.

"Apocalypse," Mina murmured breathlessly.

The woman turned to Mina and she saw a flash of red in her eyes, "Princess. Truly a pleasure seeing you again," She said dryly. 

"Risále is aware of you?" Lumina asked.

"I talk to her often. Sort of. Whenever is most inconvenient for her," Apocalypse responded.

"You're supposed to be an urban legend. What the fuck is this?" Xander asked, gripping at his hair,

"Buddy, I don't really know what's going on either or how I'm here. The last thing I remember is dying. However it is that I'm here, I can tell you that you might want to keep me around. Especially you," She tilted her head to Leon.

Leon scoffed, "For what? Why would I want someone around who probably wants me dead?" He asked.

"Hm?" Apocalypse seemed surprised, and leaned back, "What makes you say that?"

"Don't you...Have a grudge against the White Lotus? Said you'd kill all the White Lotus scientists before you died?" Leon asked, now confused and Apocalypse shook her head.

"Well, I have my reasons. You're just going to have to trust that I won't kill you. If it makes you any more comfortable, two of the people I loved were of the White Lotus so, take that as you will," She grinned, and—Were her teeth sharper than normal. "And besides, I know more than her," She pointed at Nia, who looked startled, "Maybe more than you."

Leon stiffened, "You can talk about it?" He asked, his voice hoarse. 

"No. If I do, her body will take the brunt of it. It might be as bad as you, talking too much leads to unbearable pain until you die," She said, "You're on the right track. This isn't going to be pretty if you really want to get them all through this whole thing alive."

"You know how to—" Leon let out a scream as he clutched at his chest, almost tearing his shirt. Apocalypse stood up and grabbed his hands, stopping him from scratching himself.

"Focus on where you are now. Look at me, focus on an object. Tell me where we are right now."

Leon let out a shaky breath, wincing, "We're...We're in Lumina and Xander's family house...I'm here with all my friends...And we're safe for now…" His breathing calmed down and he regained control over his body. Apocalypse sighed in relief as she let go of him.

"Use that each time it gets bad. It helps you ground yourself," She added.

"I'm—I'm okay now. Sorry, I just...Got too invested." Leon said softly.

"To answer your question, sort of," Apocalypse said, looking down, "If I am more specific, both of us are going to get hurt. What I can tell you is that you're on the right track. I tried going about it a different way. It should have worked but there was a…Complication. Let's say that certain people didn't want me to see the light of day," She chuckled darkly.

"God fucking damn it...If it makes a difference, I'm sorry," Leon said quietly, not meeting her eyes.

At this, Apocalypse looked at him, "Why are you apologizing to me?" She asked in genuine surprise.

"Because of everything? It's my fault that—" 

"Don't you dare," Apocalypse said sternly, an anger in her voice that wasn't quite directed at Leon, "I know exactly who I have to blame for all of this happening. And you are not one of them," She hesitated, "If I did blame you, then that would mean I'd blame your sister as well."

"What?" Leon said, his voice almost soundless, "You know my sister?"

Apocalypse laughed without any humor, "Knew. There's no point. I don't know where she is and haven't for a very long time. She doesn't even remember me, and don't bother bringing me up to her when you find her. It'll save her a lot of pain and confusion. It's better for her to forget me." She said.

It dawned on Xander.

"You said you loved two people. One of them...One of them was Chaewon, wasn't it? In that case, the other was probably Elliot, right?" He asked quietly, and Apocalypse didn't respond.

"That's not important. We have other things to worry about. Your two goals," She leveled her stare at Leon, "I don't think their destinations are too far apart," She said.

"What do you mean? Are you saying that we should continue with the plan to go to the Winter Ball?" Mina finally said something.

"It's a good idea as long as you create a solid plan. Running in there with guns blazing will not end well. The last time you went in, over half of you came out severely injured. I could barely keep Risále alive, and if she died, I would lose my only host. Don't be stupid about it," Apocalypse said, "Also, I can tell you the things you've all been seeing, they're...Don't worry too much. You're not going to lose your memories anymore. As time goes on, you'll realize that things are not as unfamiliar as you think. Pay attention to those weird dreams and memories that don't feel like they don't fit. That's all I can say, I can already feel the chest contractions coming up," Apocalypse winced.

"Those chest pains, can they kill us? And the headaches?" Owen asked.

Apocalypse's silence said everything, "Pushed too far, yes, they can both cause your body and organs to shut down," She added quietly, "They ended up using that as a failsafe. If their experiments didn't work, then at least no one would be alive to expose them," She looked to Leon who had turned white as a sheet.

"Who's 'they'? You and Leon have mentioned some kind of 'they' multiple times. Who are you both talking about?" Kaedan asked.

Leon and Apocalypse looked at each other, "How much can I say before it gets to me?" Leon asked and Apocalypse shook her head.

"You're lucky you asked. You would have died before the first word got out of your mouth," They all stared at her in horror, "If you have the intent, then it will kill you to keep up their lies." 

And suddenly, things fell into place for Xander. All of it clicked together in a way that made him feel sick. He had the feeling that all of the things he had been...Seeing...He should have mentioned a lot more than he had. After all, things were falling together too quickly and his head was starting to hurt. The nail in the coffin was a very specific vision that he'd recalled. 

The vision of an underground laboratory, a pair of siblings with the same smile, the young woman being forced to hurt strangers to keep her younger brother alive. A young boy, only around nine when Xander was eighteen, smiling and giving him flowers shyly to try and make him less sad. The same boy who promised that Xander would get to see his sister again. Leon, by his barely conscious body, sobbing, begging for forgiveness.

No, it wasn't a vision. It was a memory.

"Oh God…" Xander looked at Leon and Apocalypse in horror. He could feel the air leaving him as his vision began to blur, "All of that—It...Chaewon, Leon, Jiali, that place—All of this—All of this is…?" He wasn't able to form coherent sentences as his brain seemed to go haywire with the new realization.

He stood up straight, and it seemed that in the time he was panicking, Apocalypse had figured out what was going on and her eyes widened. "He figured it out, grab him! Make sure you cover his mouth!" She commanded. Leon didn't hesitate to tightly lock his arms around Xander as the man struggled against him. Nia had jumped up, slapping her hand over his mouth.

"Please...Please, Xander, listen to me, you can't say it. You saw what happens when we try...If you say it then you won't—You won't make it," Nia begged him.

Xander screamed into her hand, an almost feral sound ripping from his mouth. Nia and Leon looked terrified, while Apocalypse's face was hardened. Leon tightened his hold, knowing that it was only a matter of time before Xander managed to fight back hard enough to hurt him. He couldn't look at the man, hiding his face in Xander's chest to hide his tears. Xander knew and Xander was going to hate him. 

After all, he hadn't been able to protect his sister.

As Xander twisted and turned trying to wrench free, his muffled screaming turned into choked sobs. As they tried to get closer, Apocalypse put her hand up.

"Stop. Going to him will make it worse."