Chapter 12

In the distance, female laughter made Shiro smile. Even sitting on his futon, away from the party itself, he was happy with the enthusiasm shown by the women of Ai. Mamoru was right, they needed that fraternization because it had made them even more united and content.

" I'm happy to see you as glad" Aiko whispered. "I am very concerned about your dejected look."

" But I am not dejected, Aiko-San." Shiro stepped forward, denying. "I have food and a roof, why would I be sad?"

" Food and roof are not always enough to make us happy, Shiro."

"Oh, that's enough for me," he said. " Only cries for other things who never had to sleep under the stars, feeling their stomachs ache with hunger."

Mamoru was moved. Then, he sat down next to Shiromiya. Before going to the minor's room, he had passed the yours room and picked up the gift he bought especially for him. So he held out a metal box the size of his palm. It was beautiful craftwork that had cost him good money. However, seeing the happy eyes holding the box, Mamoru realized that it was worth every cent.

"I have the same one," he told Shiro. " I keep important things in it. I know you're saving money and jewelry, so I thought I'd give it to you the same so that you can also keep your goods well guarded. Realize - pointed a small padlock with a key - you can close and keep them safe."

Shiromiya's smile of gratitude made Aiko hug him. As soon as they separated, Mamoru decided to get into the subject that he needed so badly. Carefully, he lifted Shiromiya's face to himself and resolves to introduce the matter peacefully and gently.

" Shiro, you know that I love Shin-san, don't you?"

Mamoru was not used to talking about his own emotions, but Kazue had noticed the fact a long time ago. So he nodded.

" Shin is a good friend. He is always by my side when I need to, he tends to treat me with consideration, although he has hurt me many times" he closed his eyes, remembering all the times that Sakamoto had slept with someone inside his own home." Shin gives me protection. Kempeitai tends to be quite aggressive towards other houses in this neighborhood, but none of the police members impose themselves here. I don't know what I would do without Shin " he assumed.

Shiro took his hands. Despite the tender words, he understood that Aiko would go for something more serious than praise.

"However, Shiro ...", he was silent for a few seconds. He took a deep breath as if it were very difficult to search for words. "Shiro," he repeated with difficulty, "if I had the power to go back in time, if I had been given the chance to review each of my acts and choices, I would never have approached Shin," he confessed. " Today I am a slave to my heart, but being a slave does not bring happiness to anyone, my dear. I know that I need to be free to be truly happy and, at the moment, I don't even have the strength to fight the bonds that bind me."

Aiko looked at him seriously.

" Shiro, I love you and I want you to be happy. That's why I need you to stay away from Ryo-san, "he said suddenly.

Kazue's eyebrow went up. In itself, an incoherent panic broke out at the words.

" I don't understand, Aiko-san. .."

"Shiro, look at me," he asked. " You have been at Ai for over a year. Tell me, how many times have you seen Shin inviting me for a walk on the street?"

It had never happened.

" Shin would never look at me outside those gates. As kids, he and Ryo didn't care what I was. But when they returned from school in the mountains, I noticed the change. City events, religious festivals, or just any celebration: I am never called. Ryo has held countless birthday parties, the invitation for me never came. Shin pretends not to see me out of those walls " he felt tears flood his eyes. He had never admitted that to himself. " Several times, I hinted at my desire to see the New Year's fireworks together, but he always ignore. Of course, I don't insist, Shiro. But I'm not a fool ..."

" Aiko-san ..."

" I know you still don't understand your feelings, but I see in your eyes the same look I gave Shin. In the past, he was an idol to me, someone so unreachable that he paid attention to me. However, over time, that feeling only brought me frustration. I don't want you to be like me, Shiro. I need you to stay away from Ryo."

Shiro lowered his face. The pale fingers held the string he had just won. For some reason, he realized his despair. He didn't want to leave Ryo, even though he had spent so few moments with him.

"He's my friend," he insisted.

" Shiro ..."

" I promised him, friends, I won't go back. "

Suddenly, something inflated at its core. He got up and ran towards the door. The same tears welled up in Aiko were already in his eyes.

" Understand " Aiko shouted. " He will never consider you. Ryo will never look at you outside Ai. You don't know how it will hurt when he looks the other way when you meet on the street."

" Why do you think Ryo-san will have the same feelings for me that Sakamoto has for you?"

"He's rich, Shiro! " Mamoru shouted. " And we are both the scum of society. I own a brothel and you are just a dancer who has already sold himself on the streets. Ryo and Shin come from traditional families, and we are just two poor boys without a threshing floor."

"I don't care," he insisted. " I never had a friend like him, you can't separate us!"

Mamoru sighed. Youthful restlessness elevated Shiromiya's hormones to the peak. Maybe he shouldn't worry so much, soon Ryo himself would disappoint Kazue in such a way that he would decide for himself to leave.

"You think you're different from me, but you're the same," Mamoru finally decreed. " I can see myself at your age saying the same things to Nana, making the same tantrum, crying in the same way. I just hope you wake up from that illusion before there's nothing left in you, as it has already happened to me."

When the door to Mamoru's room closed, he realized that the boy had not taken any of his advice.

***

Ryo looked up at the long-haired men. In his exquisite Tokyo office, behind an expensive wooden table, sitting in an excellent upholstered chair, the merchant smiled at Mamoru Aiko.

" Nine o'clock in the morning?" He looked at his wristwatch. " I thought men of the night didn't wake up early. How was the rest of the party?"

"Thanks to you, there was no more party," Mamoru murmured.

" It's because? Were you nervous about my presence and took it out on the boy?"

Aiko sighed. Then he looked back at his friend.

" We need to talk. Can I seat?"

Ryo denied it. The mocking smile still playing on his lips.

"Look, Mamoru," he leaned across the table, his eyes bold. " It is already a scandal that you came to my office in person. You know that, don't you? It can harm me. Serious businessmen do not meet a brothel man during the day. So let's talk somewhere else, out of here. I don't want my clients to know that a simple pimp is going ..."

" Shut up!" Aiko shouted, his fist beating hard on the table. " I'm tired of you, so I'll be brief. You are no longer welcome to my home, don't go there anymore!"

Ryo clapped, ironic.

"With this, it must be the fourth time you've told me that," he laughed. " It's over? So go away, I have to work and I do n't have time for your freshness " he dismissed him.

" I am serious."

" Me too " Ryo looked at him. " You treat me the way you want at your home, here I treat you the way I want, so get out of my office because I'm sick of you."

At the words, Aiko went straight. His doubtful eyes were still on Ryo for a few seconds, and then the man turned away.

" Shiro is sixteen, isn't he? " Ryo asked, causing Mamoru to stop. " At that age, any empty promise is so easily believed, don't you think?"

Aiko turned to the other.

"I think it would be good for you to choose if you prefer that I see him under your wings, or that I deceive you with silly promises and take him away," he threatened.

There was a hint of disbelief in Aiko.

" Do you want it?"

" A man? " Ryo grunted, disgusted. " Please, Aiko!"

" Then why? "

"Shin has Minikui, I don't have any pets," he explained, smiling.

" This is cruel."

" You talk like I care."

Even without being invited, Aik returned him. He sat down opposite Ryo, ready to try to bring lucidity to his friend.

"I met him on a morning in downtown Tokyo when I was fourteen," he said. " He was lying in an old wagon, covered with dirty blankets. It was hurt, in every way you can imagine. The brother sold him for food, but I don't know if he was feeding Shiro when I found him. He appeared to be starving, had been raped many times, and had no light in his eyes. Gradually, he became happy again. I don't think so at all, but he loves Nana, loves to dance, loves to hear stories. " took a deep breath, to avoid weeping in front of the other. " Ryo, you have everything. He has a good house, he has goods, wealth, women ... Just snap his fingers and you is served, loved, and admired. Shiro, on the contrary, only has his dreams. Do not destroy what little he has."

Ryo was static, his eyes serious, and fixed on Mamoru. For a while, silence reigned between them, making even the birds outside audible. Aiko's plea echoed in his ears, over and over, making the man shudder. Then, just as it came, the silence was gone.

First, the chair being pushed away. Ryo got up and walked to the door. The shrill sound of the wooden door opening, the sound of the typewriter on the desk outside, the sound of footsteps, the unrecognizable noise Ryo himself let out from his half-open lips, nothing, contradictorily, echoed as loudly as it did. low voice, but firm with which he spoke the next words:

" I'll say it again, you speak as if I care."

Given this, Mamoru could do nothing but get up and walk straight to the door. Before leaving, he looked at his friend again. Aiko wanted to say more, but the cold look startled him.

Ryo closed the door so the other one left. For a few seconds, he still watched the cold wood, as if looking for any redemption. Then, however, it exploded.

He threw all the vases and papers on the floor. He kicked the chair over, knocked over the table. On the other side of the door, the secretary was terrified, but she did not dare to intrude. When, at last, everything he had was on the floor, a victim of his hatred and revolt, Ryo sat on the carpet, holding his tremor.

" ... because it is a symbol of our friendship."

Shiro's sentence caught him off guard. He was able to visualize the boy again holding the cord as if it were the most precious thing he had. His limpid and pure smile denied all the things that Aiko had just reported.

Ryo knew that Shiro was a prostitute. Shin himself had already told him that he had slept with him. But hearing the truths from Mamoru's lips drove him crazy. Ryo didn't accept that!

" I don't want that trash's friendship!" He said to himself.

But he didn't understand why he cried the next moment.

***

July 1942.

Ai opened its doors again the same day that the German army captured the city of Sevastopol. The radio, in an uproar, declared the happy news, and Aiko knew it was a good time for the men to celebrate. The prospect of money cheered him up.

The day before, at last, the shelter had been completed. Now they needed to work hard to pay the extra expense. He had taken from the savings the values ​​he needed for that construction, and any profit that came would be welcome.

The night was moonlit, and the air was calm and dry. The men began to arrive shortly after the gates opened, and Aiko received them with an authentic smile on her lips. The smile that disappeared, as soon as Ryo appeared before him.

" Aren't you going to send me away? " Ryo joked, as soon as they were face to face.

The truth is that it had been a cost for Aiko to make it up to Shiro. After so many heated discussions, Shiromiya affirmed to him that he was not in love with Ryo and that he would not be deceived by the other. So he asked them to continue seeing each other. Advised by Nana, Aiko thought it best to accept. It would be much worse if Shiro decided to run away to go to Ryo. He loved Shiromiya as he would love a son or a brother, if he had them, and would not be able to live knowing his pain.

Then he made his way.

" You was my great friend and now he doesn't even look me in the eye " Ryo sighed, his voice still mocking.

"I'm surprised you care," he returned, in kind.

Ryo looked surprised. But he didn't pay any more attention to his. Looking ahead, he headed for the hall.

Mamoru felt sad about that, but what else could he do? For Ryo, everything was just a joke, a fun that would lose its importance as soon as he found something else that caught his attention. For Shiromiya, it was the birth of a solid friendship, which cheered him up and made him a normal person, like any other.

Just a mistake.

Greeting two or three more customers, Mamoru decided to move away from the door. He needed air, he needed tranquility to put his thoughts in order. If Shin were there ... Ah, yes, Shin would do something to help him. Even if it was just a loose sentence, an ironic speech or funny advice. Shin would cheer him up.

" I didn't see him in the hall ... " The deep, masculine voice made him turn.

Looking around, Aiko realized that he had walked to the closed part of the garden, where some trees provided his with fruit. Then he looked at the man in front of him and looked at himself, humble.

"It is a great pleasure to see you again, Hiroshi," he said. " How was the trip to Germany?"

" It was like always " the other smiled. "Shin Sakamoto acting like a king, and Takako-san idolizing him like an idiot."

Mamoru refrained from commenting on that. On the other visit that Hiroshi had made to Ai together with Shin, he noticed a certain animosity between them.

" Will Shin return to Japan soon?" He asked anxiously.

" He came back yesterday " Hiroshi smiled. " We all came back yesterday."

Yesterday? Mamoru arched the leftovers, incredulously. Why, then, had he not yet come to see him? Didn't Shin know that he was distressed and anxious for the reunion? Who died of longing, who would love to embrace and pamper him? Shin Sakamoto hadn't written to him in months, making him more and more uneasy.

" Shin will come today? " suddenly realized that Sakamoto could arrive at any moment.

In a jump, he tried to run towards the gate but had his arm trapped by Hiroshi.

" He will not come, Aiko Mamoru " the other told.

" Why?"

Had Shin been injured in the war? But he never went to the front, the Emperor would never allow Shin to suffer any harm.

Suddenly, Hiroshi's right finger slid down his face. Aiko was disgusted and tried to free herself from the hand that held him.

" I'll be honest, sissy " Hiroshi insulted him again. " Now you are alone, without a protector. Shin Sakamoto found a new lover in Germany, a Japanese man who is much more handsome than you. "Given the disbelieving look, Hiroshi explained himself. "You see, all Tokyo knows that you're a delicious guy, but believe me, the sergeant who is sharing a bed with Sakamoto has even more beauty and seduction."

" How dare you talk like that? " Aiko revolted. " How dare you hold me?"

" What are you going to do? Are you going to tell Sakamoto? Have n't you noticed yet? Ended. Shin Sakamoto has a new fun, a new lover. He won't come anymore, and if you doesn't accept me, you'll be unprotected. What will you do if Ai becomes the target of Kempeitai? Have you ever wondered if someone would report you as ... a traitor to your country?"

The sentence startled Aiko, who started to struggle. Faced with the refusal, Hiroshi slapped him.

The force of the aggression brought him down. As soon as he fell to the ground, he tried to run, but the other sat on him.

" Are you going to frame me with the police? " Aiko asked, furious.

" That's up to you " Hiroshi laughed. " If you treat me well, give me everything you give to Sakamoto, I can be generous and become the new guardian of Ai. What do you think?"

" I'll tell Shin everything! " threatened.

" Tell Shin everything? Still don't understand? How many times will I have to repeat: Shin Sakamoto will not come again. He will not miss the new lover visiting the old one! At that moment, while fighting me, he is in Sergeant Saito's bed, doing who knows what."

" Then I'll talk to Ryo!"

" Ryo is not from the royal family nor the army. I can destroy and incriminate he just as I will do to you if you refuse me!"

To Aiko's disgust, Hiroshi then bowed to him. Holding his face, he started to kiss him. Mamoru tried to move, to move that nasty mouth away from him, but the other was stronger. Hiroshi's words about Shin and a new lover hammered in his mind, and tears came in abundance.

Shin loved him, or so he imagined it to be. However, Shin didn't want it. He had never dared to touch him with pleasure, had never given any show of lust, or deep feelings. They were friends, and that was all. However, nobody believed in the relationship that way, and if Shin was with a lover, the other could coerce him not to come and see him again.

" Oh, are you crying? " Hiroshi laughed. " What a pathetic scene. Be a man " he said. " Don't you know that romantic love is a woman's thing? Oh, of course, I was forgetting, you're practically a girl with long hair, soft skin, and submissive posture. Imagine what it's like in bed, I can't wait."

Even with the huge difference in strength between them, Mamoru fought like crazy. The mouth, covered by the big hand, could not make sounds, but the hands struggled with despair trying to stop him from raping him.

The kimono ripped to the waist. His pale skin, as white as that of women with makeup, appeared before the other's admired gaze. Aiko cried when he brought his mouth to his nipples, biting his beak, disgusting him to the point of vomiting.

When one hand touched his small member, he found strength and pushed. Seeing his lips free from Hiroshi's hand, he shouted, trying to get help. Soon, however, he was again muted by the other.

He thought of Shin, he thought of his silly romantic dreams and the way he was being destroyed by his love's army colleague. He ended up giving up fighting, he found no strength left, not in the face of the truth that he was abandoned by Sakamoto, delivered without mercy to Kempeitai.

However, Hiroshi's body immediately comes out of him. Amazed, he saw Ryo pull him, drop him on the floor and punch him so many times that he lost count. His frightened eyes then saw Shiro, still dressed as the dancer from Ai, next to Ryo. The boy was scared, perhaps the mind remembering inself. Aiko wanted to go to him, say that everything would be okay. But, before anything else, he saw that Ryo was turning towards him.

The mind could not bear to understand the sincere love it saw. Even at a time of so many discussions between them, as soon as Ryo knelt in front of him, he understood that even the harsh words had not ruined the feelings that united them.

He hugged Ryo and wept on his shoulder. The mouth spoke, what, he didn't even know. Aiko just wanted Ryo to know that he was grateful for the friendship and that he would never forget what his friend had done.

Shortly after, Nana appeared with the security guards. They heard some screams, they said. Mamoru hid his face on Ryo's shoulder and let his friend take him to the bedroom. He left it to Shiro to explain everything. All he asked for was to take Hiroshi to a hospital. If he were framed for that, everyone at Ai could be punished by Kempeitai. Without Shin's protection, few options remained.

Ryo left about an hour later. Aiko didn't tell him anything about what the officer said, but when Shiro appeared shortly afterward to spend the night with him, he couldn't stand it and cried everything his heart wanted.

Kazue cried with him, hugging him tightly. Shiro said it must be a misunderstanding, that Sakamoto would never abandon him. But inside, Mamoru knew that Shin had changed. And he hated that Saito, who was guilty of the change.

***

Shiromiya smiled at the man who was watching him. He was happy that Ryo had come to see him dance. It was always an honor to have a friend who cared about his gifts and dreams. Ryo smiled at him, and Kazue almost lost his step. Then he dropped his eyes and returned to concentrate. Luckily, it didn't take long and the song came to an end. Bowing to the audience, he waited for the lights to go out to getaway.

He arrived in the corridor shortly after but did not go to his room. He waited for a while, flustered, thinking he was going crazy about waiting for someone who probably wouldn't come. However, it didn't take five minutes and Ryo appeared before him.

They said nothing. Ryo took his hand and dragged him into the garden. Knowing that Mamoru was against that encounter, they hid behind a bush, laughing like two children doing trickery.

" I missed you," Shiromiya said, innocently.

Ryo pushed away from the carnal thoughts that came to him. He returned the friendly smile.

" Mamoru won't let me see him."

"Aiko-san thinks you want to hurt me," he explained.

" And you? What do you think?"

" I think your friendship is sincere."

Slight guilt took over. However, it startled his. Now, it was doing the boy no harm. All I wanted to do was look at him because ...

Why? No justification was formed in his mind. And he became unnerved each time the causes of his visits became obscure even for himself.

"Shiro ..." he started, but a muffled shout interrupted him.

Kazue turned his head, making it clear that he also heard the sudden sound. Ryo did not take long to recognize the timbre. Both then ran towards the east side of the garden. Behind shady trees, they saw, shocked, Mamoru on the ground desperately fighting a man in army uniform.

" Hiroshi? " Ryo was surprised.

Hiroshi was an imperial guard. His high rank had made him guardian of Shin. And now the idiot dared to submit Mamoru, being the same protégé of Sakamoto? He grabbed the man from behind and freed his friend. As soon as he moved away from Hiroshi, he faced Aiko. The courtier had bruised lips and the front of the kimono was torn. He blinded himself and went after the officer.

Neither Aiko nor Shiro was able to move when they saw the men grapple. Ryo knocked Hiroshi down with a punch and, even though he was smaller, he managed to impose himself. Probably from anger, his strength had the desired effect. Then he hit him until Hiroshi passed out. Only when he felt that the other was no longer moving did he stop.

He was startled by the blood on his hands, but what surprised him was Shiromiya's fearful look. Ryo thought of going to him, hugging him and saying that he shouldn't fear him, even if at another time, his strength had been against the boy himself. However, Aiko's soft cry caught his attention. He ran to the other and hugged him.

"I thought you hated me," Mamoru whispered in his ears.

"I would never allow anyone to do you harm, Aiko," he said, a frank smile on his lips. " I love you, even though I often don't know how to express it."

Aiko squeezed him tight. Shortly after, security guards appeared, probably called by the noise of the fight. With a gesture of his hands, Mamoru ordered them to take Hiroshi to the hospital. He didn't want any problems with Kempeitai, so he refrained from throwing him on the street without help.

An hour later, when Mamoru had already retired, Ryo went back to looking for Shiro. The boy was gone as soon as Hiroshi was beaten. He found him in the hallway, already free of makeup and feminine clothing.

" Thank you for what you did today, Ryo-san " he bowed to the other.

" Then why do you look at me as if you fear me?"

"Ir reminded me that you knows how to hurt," he admitted without hesitation. " But I am comfortable knowing the reasons."

Ryo nodded, understanding.

"I'll stay with Aiko-san," Shiro said. "He's very nervous about what happened. And, Nana said, he is devastated because Sakamoto-san found another love."

Shin finding love? Ryo held a hysterical laugh.

"Okay, my dear," he agreed. " I'll be back tomorrow to see you dance."

Shiro smiled. Ryo bowed and walked away. In itself, the certainty that leaving was the best thing to do. He needed to get away from Shiro that night before he went crazy.