Chapter 24

The broom moved, forming dust in front of it. Even so, he went on, taking it from side to side, spreading the yellow leaves to a pile that formed next to one of the trees. Mamoru Aiko had a gardener who showed up once a week to tidy up the garden, but Shiromiya liked to take care of the plants. In addition to helping to keep the place well organized on days when the man did not show up, it helped him to be distracted.

It was still early, for Ai. Accustomed to sleeping at dawn, it would still take about two hours for people to get up from their beds, but he was already up, even before the sun came up. He didn't sleep all night, the bed looked uncomfortable, so he got up, washed, and went to the garden, sweeping.

He, therefore, saw Shin Sakamoto leaving Aiko's room at dawn. In the distance, he spotted the pair and smiled at the passionate kiss they exchanged. Shiro was happy when he noticed Aiko leaning languidly against the door while saying something that Shiromiya understood as a declaration of love. Then Shin left without looking back, keeping a satisfied smile on his face.

It didn't take a genius to see that the two, at last, had settled. When Shin crossed him, they didn't say a word, but the big man waved, laughing.

Joyful by the beautiful image of love during the morning, Shiro perked up. He looked up, seeing the blue sky and receiving the warmth of the sun on his face. It was a new day, no doubt. He should leave sadness behind and go on, as he had done many times in the past.

" Shiro."

The call startled him. With a jump back, he saw Ryo before him, anxious.

" How did you get in?"

There were many doubts in his mind, but only that one escaped his lips.

"I've been waiting at the gate since five o'clock," he confessed. "I couldn't sleep, so I stayed there," he pointed ahead, but Shiro didn't follow his finger with his eyes. "When Shin left, I went in," he explained.

He nodded.

" Did you come to see Aiko? He just woke up " he said.

The feet tingled in the urge to flee. Shiro could barely look at him after the night before.

"I came to see you," Ryo explained. " I thought a lot about what you said to me, Shiro, and I understood the reasons why you refused me."

En end, Kazue looked up. He saw Ryo's comforting smile and then he smiled too, relieved. Had Ryo understood your feeling? Didn't Ryo repudiate Shiro for feeling it? Did Ryo no longer consider him an aberration?

" You are afraid of Aiko, aren't youFear that Mamoru will send you away if he knows ... " Ryo sank his hopes in a sea of ​​acid when he said that. " I understand what worries you, but I have the solution."

Taking Shiro's silence as consent, he continued:

" We can meet on the sly. Nothing needs to happen at Ai. Aiko will never suspect anything. Just think about a good time and day. It doesn't matter which ... " he waited for some reaction in front of him. Anything. " How about this afternoon? About fifteen o'clock?"

Anyway, Shiromiya replied.

" Not."

" So, tomorrow?"

"Not today, not tomorrow," it was clear. "Never," he reinforced. " Leave me alone! " he asked, feeling that life was losing its color again, and the tears were returning in a storm.

" But ..."

" I just want you to leave and never talk to me again " it was sincere, despite not seeming.

Even the whole past didn't seem to hurt him as much as that moment.

"You slept with either one." Ryo's tone glowed with hatred. " With anyone! Why not me? What difference will it make?"

"I don't prostitute myself anymore, " he tried to make him understand.

" Then make an exception! " Ryo sent. " I am not to blame for being late in your decision to become celibate! " foamed with rage. " You look at me as if you were a modest virgin, when in fact even friends of mine already have you ..."

He didn't stay to hear more. Turning on his back, Shiro ran away. But it didn't get very far. Before reaching the balcony that served as corridors of the brothel, he was held by the arm.

" What's your price, Shiromiya?" Demanded the merchant.

There was no price. There was only a desperate desire to be loved and respected. Something that any normal person would have effortlessly. But not him. Unfortunately, the taint in his soul was so strong that it would never end.

Then he disengaged himself from the strong arms. He ran like crazy towards the bathroom. As soon as he got there, he allowed the tears to fall without mercy, making the pale, perfect skin red.

Then he went to the white porcelain toilet and got his hands wet. He felt as dirty as if a mud crust surrounded him. He lathered his hands and arms heavily, rubbing his skin vigorously. He rinsed them off soon after, finding in his troubled mind how dirty he was. He rubbed and rinsed them again, but the rot was still there as if fixed on itself.

He despaired. He contained a horrified, embarrassed cry. Shiro didn't want anyone to see him there, dirty and grimy. However, two hands surrounded him and pulled him back. He fell on the huge breasts of an old woman, who held him tight, kept his head on her chest, and stroked his hair gently.

He burst into tears, but he knew he wasn't being blamed. That brought a trace of relief.

" We've all been there, my love " Nana rocked him like a baby. " You are not dirty and, one day, you will realize that ..."

Shiro embraced the feminine and flabby body with devotion. He buried his face in his old cotton kimono and stood there, crying.

Nana was wrong. He was dirty and rotten. Maybe even dead. Unfortunately, he didn't have the strength to tell her that truth, so he left himself there, to be comforted by something he had no comfort in.

***

Aiko Mamoru was in front of the mirror, marveling at the beautiful dark kimono when the door opened and the old prostitute Nana entered. The two-faced each other, but it was the young courtier who spoke first, irritated.

"I don't want to hear your recriminations," he said. " I'm happy, don't try to ruin my joy."

Nana made a sound like a whistle, and the courtier watched her carefully.

" I didn't come here to talk about you or how much you liked giving your ass " She was possessed. " I'm here for Shiromiya! " Then she walked heavily to the nearest chair and sat down, tired. " While you play prince charming, Kazue is being massacred by his friend Ryo " explained.

" How?"

" I don't know what Ryo is doing to him, but since returning from the cinema, he hasn't eaten. Today, I caught the merchant pointing his finger at him, speaking sharply. I don't know what it was, his mouth was low, but then Shiromiya went to the bathroom and started to scrub ..."

Aiko understood immediately.

"I'm going to talk to Ryo," he said.

" As if it would make a big difference! " ridiculed. " When did you have any pulse with one of your friends? They do what they want with you and you don't even protect yourself. Now, they are abusing Shiromiya again and he is still a boy."

Aiko was ashamed. Although the words hurt, he recognized them as real.

" Nana ... " began.

"I suggest sending Shiro away, " the old woman said.

The courtier almost choked.

" I would never do that! " it was firm. " Shiro stays with me, no matter what."

" Stay with you until there's nothing left of the boy? "

" I'll take care of him!"

"Don't even take care of yourself," she stood up. " It is best to keep him away, for now. Keiko-san has a house in Hiroshima, and Shiro can stay with her for a few days. I'm sure there will be no problem ..."

" Not."

"I'm going with him," she went on, leaving no room for dispute.

Nana had never left Mamoru. That surprised the young man. If old Nana was willing to travel, even with so much pain in her body and legs, the reasons must be truly worrying.

" Shiro spends his days sneaking around in the shadows. He does his chores without complaining, walks with his head down, hides from the presence of other people ... He doesn't smile, he doesn't have fun, he doesn't act like a normal boy.

" He's not."

"He doesn't have to live in the past, feeling dirty and disgraced by the things that hunger forced him to do," he said. " We all have something to be ashamed of here, but none of us are forced to relive that every day."

Aiko looked doubtful. Knew there was truth in the feminine words, but he was very attached to Shiromiya. Since he saved him years ago, he never left him. Aiko didn't know how he would live without Shiro.

" A month, then. If I don't come back after that, I'll go after you myself."

Nana agreed and left the room without saying goodbye. Aiko stayed there for a few seconds, as if meditating on her decision, then he also walked away. He reached the corridor and looked out over the courtyard. It was empty. He then walked on the wooden balcony until he reached Shiro's door.

It was open. Aiko saw him sitting on the floor, carefully folding the clothes he had loaned him to go to the cinema.

When Shiro saw him, he smiled. Aiko was touched by that gesture, even though he saw immeasurable pain in the child's eyes.

" Thank you very much for the clothes, Aiko-san " Kazue thanked. " I washed it and passed it on to you. I was folding it now to take it to his room."

Aiko walked over to the other.

" Do you miss Keiko?" He asked.

Shiromiya's look seemed animated.

" Very. She will be back?"

" No, Nana wants to go see her. Would you like to go along? I don't like Nana traveling alone. We know that she is a very grumpy old woman, but also weak. What do you think?"

Shiromiya stood up.

"Let's look like a grandmother and a grandson," the prospect warmed him. " I doubt anyone will find out who we are."

It was even clearer to Mamoru, at that moment, how much Shiro felt ashamed of himself. He took pity and pulled him into his arms.

"You'll love the ride, I promise," he whispered against his black hair.

May Kami-sama hear your prayers!

***

Ryo returned to Ai two days after hearing Kazue's denial. That time, it was prepared. He brought with him not only money but also jewelry and a small piece of solid gold that he would easily buy a good house in the center of the capital.

He entered through the front gate, bowing to Midori. The woman realized her happiness, and also aware of the reasons that led Shiro to accompany Nana on a trip, she smiled internally, anxious to see that wafer face foaming with anger.

" Shiro, please. " he asked, flattering.

"He isn't," she replied calmly. " I'll call Aiko-san."

"I don't want to see Aiko," Ryo said. " Only Shiro. What time does he come back?"

" He won't be back, Shiro left Ai."

Of course, she did not comment that it was provisional and that he would return the following month. Midori wouldn't miss the space frown that Ryo made as soon as she said the words. She loved his mouth twitching as if in a heart attack, and the tremor that seemed to hit him as if he were in a trance.

"I'm going to call Aiko," she repeated.

When she turned on his back, Midori no longer hid his satisfied smile. She ran towards the tea room, where Mamoru wrote down the previous night's profits. When she entered, she quickly told him about the visit and walked away, staying at a distance to watch the courtier leave the room and go towards the merchant.

" Good morning " Aiko greeted him as soon as he got close enough to see the red face of the other. " I would like to come in and take ..."

" Stick the tea in your ass! " Ryo shouted, disgusted. " Where's Shiro?"

" Have you heard the news? " he felt enormous satisfaction when he saw him wring his hands, nervous.

" Did you send him away? Is he on the streets? Why did it? You should at least have warned me!"

Aiko found the posture strange. He hoped that the only thing Ryo would care about when he heard about Shiro was with your own ego. But he saw clearly in his eyes an apprehension of the other's well-being. That surprised him.

"He's just hanging out," he said. "Shiro went to visit Keiko. He will be back in a month or so."

That calmed Ryo down.

" One month?" He asked, however. " It's a long time for a visit."

" Why are you worried? What difference will it make for a while without seeing you?"

" He is my friend!"

The phrase startled him again. Friend? Ryo considering a lowly prostitute a friend?

" I mean ... " tried to fix it.

" If you care, leave him alone. Shiro does not eat and is depressed. I just want to see it well, and it won't happen as long as you dump your nonsense on top of him."

At the cost, Ryo nodded. Not that he was going to respect any agreement, but he acknowledged that he was being cruel and overwhelming. Then he just turned his back on his friend and, without saying goodbye, started to head towards the exit.

A second later, he dropped to his knees on the floor. Aiko stood motionless when he saw Ryo cover him ears with his hands, seeming to be hearing a deafening sound. So, nervous, Aiko ran to him and tried to help him, but realized that his friend was in a horrible trance.

***

The siren sounded loud, hurting his hearing. Ryo noticed everyone looking up as if to happen was something. Something did not come. Then, little by little, the treble whistle sounded until it was gone. He got up, watching the city and the people walking as if nothing had happened.

Two boys crossed over, running after each other, playing. In the distance, a lady offered him carrots, and then a man tapped him on the shoulder, asking him to get out of the way.

He walked to a small restaurant, eager to ask for any information. Where were he? Why was he there? Ryo knew it was a vision, but a vision of what? Never before had he seen a vision as clear and as real as that.

Turning his eyes to a shop window, he read "Hiroshima restaurant". In the distance, the town hall's rounded building entranced him. He had never been there, but he recognized the city from photographs seen at home. The father used to travel there in the fall to negotiate with a local businessman.

Without warning, however, everything went white. Startled, Ryo leaned against the wall, looking terrified at the children, young and old, disappearing, coming to dust. He felt a strong heat in his skin as if needles were piercing him. Then, the terrifying sound of an explosion seemed to burn him. Ryo remained with his eyes open, seeing all the buildings around him being devastated.

Then darkness reigned.

Everything was dead. All. People quickly disappeared, buildings collapsed, and a dead silence fell. Around him, there was only one world destroyed. Dropped, he didn't even know for what. He had never seen anything like it.

To his amazement, then, it started to rain. Drops were thick and burned in contact with the skin..

Startled, he started to move his legs, with no right direction. To his amazement, he realized that he was wandering quickly. About a kilometer later, he began to hear agonized screams, the last sighs of people who were killed without mercy and without even understanding why.

" It's gasoline! " heard a male sound hit him. " The Americans are going to burn us."

Startled, he looked toward the voice, but the man was already dead. Suddenly, several people appeared on the horizon. A heap of bodies was walking aimlessly. It was people dragging their guts, children without mothers, and mothers without children. Some men appeared to have bubbles the size of balls on their backs, and others who lost the soles of their feet.

It was all death and pain.

Kneeling, he covered his face, crying. He begged Kami-sama to get him out of that hell he couldn't stand to see anymore.

And then, as if heard by the angels in heaven, he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Woke up.

***

" It's okay, Ryo-san " Mamoru murmured, stroking his black hair.

They were both sitting on the floor. Ryo had lost his speech, propped up by Mamoru, who was willing to comfort him.

" Want to talk about what you saw?"

It took a few seconds, and then Ryo said:

" We will not only be defeated in this war, Aiko. We will be killed, slaughtered and humiliated. They are going to step on us as if they were on cockroaches, there will be nothing left of our dignity ..."

He fell silent. In itself, a mixture of doubt, fear, and anger dominated him. When would that horror happen? And why did he have to see everything before? Why didn't the visions leave him alone, allowing him to live decently, without looking crazy?

" Where's Shiro?" He asked seriously.

The question came up without thinking, just the mouth opened and pronounced, without order.

" In Hiroshima."

Ryo barely managed to get up when he heard the answer. Without hesitating, he ran towards the gate. That same afternoon, he got in the car and drove south like crazy. He didn't know exactly where he was going, but in himself, there was an absurd certainty that he would find Shiro, no matter where, and save him, from whatever it was.

***

" Do not have milk? " Shiro was surprised, while moving a doll in front of little Kazue Mamoru, making him dance. The boy clapped and laughed, trying to hold the toy with his fingers. " In any grocery store?"

"There has always been a lack of food or other since the war started," Keiko commented. " But milk is what worries me the most. Unfortunately, my breasts dried out when Kazue-chan was two months old. Since then, I must always supply him with cow or goat milk."

" Have you tried a nurse? Don't you have any recent mothers nearby?" Nana asked.

The woman's countenance made it clear that she had not thought of that. She smiled at the old woman, thanking him for the idea.

She was truly happy for the unexpected visit. When Nana and Shiromiya appeared at her door two days earlier, she worried. She had little food, just enough for her, her little son, and a younger sister who worked as a maid for a wealthy merchant. But knowing her limitations, old Nana, even before entering the small wooden house, had already warned her that she would buy food and brought money to help the host family.

Keiko's relief was so clear that she even felt ashamed, feeling like an interest. She owed Nana a lot. Nana had rescued her from rape after a street program. She took her to Ai, where she met Aiko, who welcomed her until the young woman was able to return to work. Keiko knew it was a whorehouse and that everyone lived there to please the rich, but at the same time, there was a friendship and brotherhood between the members of House of Love that she did not find anywhere else.

And besides, Aiko gave her the chance to choose to be a mother. Although the money earned at the factory is less than what she received as a prostitute, Keiko never regretted having chosen the birth of her baby at any time. Little Kazue was his sun, his life, his breath. For him, everything was worth it. It didn't matter who the father was, nor that he would ever be able to recognize his bastard. Kazue would have everything Keiko didn't have, especially love.

" What time will you work? " Nana asked.

"I'll do the afternoon shift," he said. "Good thing, I'll be able to spend all morning with Kazue," she lifted the boy in her arms. He complained a little about being taken out of the game with Shiro and whimpered when he was kissed on the cheek. Then he was put on the floor again, in front of the boy, who again called his attention with the doll. " I'll make lunch."

It was a pleasant day, the sun strong and intense, soothed by the spring breeze.

Suddenly, that familiar scene was broken by the sound of clapping in front of the house. Keiko walked away towards the door and peeked. She opened her mouth, startled, and then turned to her visitors:

" Is Ryo-san."

***

"I been looking for you for two days," he explained, accepting a glass of water Keiko offered him. "I drove from Tokyo to here," then corrected himself. "Well, actually, I stopped to fill up the tank with gasoline. But I neither ate nor slept" he seemed to be proud of the fact.

"And you didn't even shower," Nana commented, rubbing her nose. " What the hell are you doing here?"

Ryo was sitting on an old sofa at Keiko's house. All eyes were on him, including that of the boy who still had a doll in his hands.

"I didn't know your address. " He looked at the young woman who had slept with him several times in the past. " So I looked for a Keiko. I met several Keikos around the city until someone told me about you ... So I came. I wouldn't stop until I found him " looked at Shiro.

" Why are you here?" The young man repeated Nana's question.

" We don't have much time to talk. We need to get out of Hiroshima."

The trio looked at each other, confused.

" You are crazy? " Shiro risked.

" I'm saving your life! " the merchant was possessed. " Let's go now!"

What happened next was so fast that Shiro didn't have time to react. Ryo grabbed his wrist, pulling him against him. He waited for a hug, which didn't happen. Soon the other would lower himself, placing his hip on his shoulders. Seconds later, Shiro found himself spent in the air, being carried on his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. Ryo didn't even give any explanation, as soon as the car arrived, he put it inside and closed the door.

" What are you doing? " Nana screamed and Shiro knew she would advance on the other.

" You too, old woman! " scolded. " Get in the car. " Then he looked at Keiko. " If you want to come too, there's room. But if you decide to stay, know that you are putting yourself and your child in danger."

Keiko and Nana faced each other. The older one approached the other and said quietly.

" It seems that something has affected your judgment. I'll go with them, I'll send you news soon."

Keiko nodded as she saw old Nana getting into the car, her face impassive.

" And your clothes? " The young woman recalled.

Ryo complained for the next ten minutes while watching old Nana and Keiko bringing their belongings. He seemed rushed, nervous, crazy.

He only breathed a sigh of relief when he reached the city limits. Looked back. Braked. In the rearview mirror, a huge mushroom of dark gray dust rose, devastating. Startled, he turned his body in that direction. There was nothing.

Nana and Shiro looked at each other at the scene. The old woman was afraid of what that nut could do. But, Shiro, aware of the power that Ryo had been given - or cursed - by Kami-sama, worried about the woman and baby who stayed in Hiroshima.

He promised himself to ask Aiko to send him a letter when he arrived in Tokyo. He would ask her to leave the city, before the worst happened.

***

The bed shifted and in his sleep, Shin smiled happily. He hadn't slept well for two days - Aiko wouldn't let him sleep! - and he could hardly believe in the happiness of lying down, quietly, left to his tiredness. However, he woke up afterward, feeling a light touch on his back, more precisely between his buttocks.

" Mamoru!" He shouted angrily.

" I must be angry " Aiko scolded. " You only sleep!"

" We already made love!"

" Yes once! You look like a ridiculous old brush " your eyes sparkled. " You went to sleep. But I want more, try to get hard " he pointed down, but Shin's sad and dejected member didn't even mention getting up and knowing what was being said about him.

" That's not how things work."

Two seconds later, he was thrown out the door, without a single piece of clothing covering his nakedness.

" This is ridiculous, Aiko!" He complained. " I'm naked! " warned, as if the other did not know. " At least give me the clothes back."

Anything.

" Aiko!" He shouted, knocking hard on the door.

" Go to hell!"

"I will, but dressed," he persevered.

The door opened, and he stared at the possessed boyfriend staring at him. In Aiko's hands, just a hideous, furious twist. No clothes.

"You look like a rabbit," Shin mumbled.

" And you don't seem to like sleeping with me."

Sakamoto smiled, entering the room and bringing Aiko into his arms.

"My love, I love it," he said. " I never felt so happy as now. But I don't have it at your disposal " he explained.

When he was expelled again, he sighed in resignation. At least, that time, he had managed to get the pants that were thrown on a chair.