Chapter 31

Mamoru felt a slight movement in the covers. He muttered under his breath, refusing to open his eyes. He knew he was Minikui, he could feel his delicate paws on his back, as if to say "Daddy, wake up, I'm here and I want to be loved". But really, he hadn't been paying attention to anyone since Shin left his life.

It had been four months since Aiko last saw Sakamoto, but it felt like years. He respected the agreement between them, did not seek it. He barely left the room at all that time, distracting himself with his tears, feeding on the vain hope of being forgiven.

The fluffy paws hit his back again. Mamoru turned, ready to pull Minikui under the covers, trying to convey as much affection as possible. It was fortunate that Shin hadn't taken Minikui from him. He probably still hadn't remembered leaving the cat behind. He feared that when he realized, Shin would snatch Minikui out of his arms.

The cat was already ten years old. Now, he was no longer a puppy and would hardly be able to adjust far from Ai, where he could wander freely, climb trees, and sleep on the grass in the sun. The feline could not bear to live elsewhere, far from its domain.

However, his loving thoughts fell apart when he saw Minikui and the disgusting thing in his mouth. Without blinking, as soon as he saw the courtier with all his attention, the cat released a small gutted mouse on the futon, as if it were a polite gift.

Mamoru let out a scream, flying to the opposite side. Within seconds, Nana was running towards his bedroom, scared. When she got there, found the boy on one side and the cat on the other.

"Minikui brought me a mouse," he said as if it were a terrible horror.

Nana imagined him in a concentration camp, at that moment. Mamoru Aiko had been raised with love, studied in a good school, and had everything that the children around his lacked. Remembered that when he was a child, she used to fry eggs and bake bread very early in the morning, and take him to his room so he could still eat in bed. Aiko had grown up on her lap, listening to stories, sleeping on her chest, feeling the heat that emanated from her.

Nana could never be a mother. She barely had money to eat, let alone to support a child. And how could she support a child when she lived on the streets, seeing her mother being used as garbage by men? Often, she slept on the serene, homeless. No ... Nana would never give that life to a child.

Nana never knew if she had ever gotten pregnant. After all, she knew the herbs and drank tea against babies every day while she was prostituted. So it probably never did. But all the love she had to give to someone, was given to Aiko. Mamoru was much more her than he once was from Masami. Nana would never allow herself to die leaving her son alone as the geisha had done. Masami never changed diapers, never took care of him when he was sick. She didn't see her son cry for love for the first time when Shin was sent to boarding school, nor did see him suffering from Ryo's indifference when he pretended that he hadn't recognized him one morning when he was in the neighborhood to have fun with friends. Masami never saw her son smile when he helped someone, nor did he know how much he liked cakes with tea.

Masami neglected a treasure, and Nana did not make a plea to take it for herself. And then, at that moment, holding a quiet laugh in front of an adult man fleeing a mouse, she realized that she would rather see him dead than be sent to the fields that Saito Jiro told her that he had experienced.

"It's just a mouse," she said, picking up the dead mouse by the tail.

Minikui looked at her with his eternal scorn. He seemed irritated that the old woman was taking the gift he had taken all morning hunting for Mamoru. However, purr when Aiko reached for him with her hands, while the old woman took the mouse away.

" Thank you " Aiko thanked, kissing the muzzle, forgetting that a mouse had just been there. " But never bring me rats again, okay?"

The cat seemed to think. However, he forgave the lack that the old woman had committed, as soon as he saw her entering the bedroom again, carrying a piece of fried fish in her hands. Pleasing the cat, she turned to Aiko.

" Do you want to eat something? "

" No thanks."

" But " it seemed uncertain " you haven't eaten properly in days ..."

Mamoru opened his mouth to reply, however, the sounds of Midori's steps silenced him. He turned his body towards the door, anticipating the girl's entrance.

" Yes?"

" Your friend Ryo wants to see you."

" To me? " Raised his eyebrows.

Since he had snuck into the bedroom, Ryo hadn't seen him. Thinking about the last time, he realized that it had already been about four months! Why then did Ryo want to see him now? It probably had something to do with Shiromiya.

"Ask him to come in," he said to the girl.

" Wouldn't you rather see him in the tea room?"

She probably wanted to get him out of the room. He smiled at the affection seen in the female eyes but denied it.

" Just tell him to come in."

Nana walked away behind Midori. Ryo appeared shortly after and closed the door as soon as he entered the dark place. Alone, the two friends faced each other. Aiko smiled, but the other remained rigid and serious.

"I already know the whole truth," he said, even before greeting him.

Not that Mamoru was surprised. He knew that Shin would tell his best friend about it. It just amazed him that Ryo was there, in front of him, after everything came up.

" And?" He asked uncertainly.

" And I have houses all over the country. Just choose the location."

The courtier's curved eyebrows rose.

" What do you mean by that?"

" I mean you must leave Ai. I can get fake documents, you can live in anonymity for as long as the war lasts. Then, depending on it result may return to being Aiko Mamoru or not."

" Do you think Shin will give me away?"

"I don't know what to think," he was blunt. " But everything now fits."

" It fits?"

"I never saw you in my visions, Mamoru," said what always distressed him. " I don't see you, I don't know if you will survive the war. I fear, therefore, I fear what may happen."

A painful shiver ran through Aiko's body.

" I will not go, Ryo-san " it was direct and sincere. " But I deeply appreciate your concern."

A harsh babble appeared on Ryo's lips. Then, however, the tone of his voice was loud enough for Mamoru to understand.

" Are you going crazy? Didn't you hear what I said?"

"I'm not going anywhere," he repeated. " Do u not see? To leave is to assume that Shin will not forgive me and that we will never be together again."

" He won't forgive you, and you won't be together! " Ryo looked enraged. " Stop being an idiot and save your skin!"

" I respect your opinion, but you are unaware of the love that united Shin to me."

" I don't care about those sissy feelings!" He shouted. " I want you to survive hell. Are you aware of what will happen to you if it falls into the hands of Kempeitai?"

Aiko kept an unreadable countenance. Ryo sighed, shrugging. He knew that the other was stubborn, especially when it came to Sakamoto.

"If Shin doesn't come back ..." he said, after a few minutes of silence. " If he doesn't forgive me ... What reasons will I have to live?"

There were countless reasons to live. But what was the use of wasting your time trying to convince someone completely blind with passion? He hoped he would never fall into a web of feelings, such as Mamoru was entwined with.

"I will not mourn your death," said the merchant, already walking away towards the door.

Aiko smiled when she saw him leaving, huffing. He was sure Ryo would mourn him. However, Aiko hoped it would take many years for that to happen.

***

Shiromiya stuck his head out of the car and looked at the huge residential building, before going back inside the car, scared.

" You told me we were going to walk in the park�� muttered to Ryo, who was staring at him with an uncontrolled smile on his lips.

" Would you come to my house if I invited you? " he accused, good-humored. "I doubt it," he replied, even before the other man opened his mouth. " So the only way was to bring it without knowing it."

" Your home?"

He looked again at the huge three-story building.

"One of the many I have," Ryo said.

Although uncertain, Shiromiya accepted the hand Ryo held out to help him out of the car. The fingers intertwined with a familiarity that seemed bland to both of them. There was nothing weird about it, it was just an instinctive act as if it had always happened. He entered the house, and the silence was strange. He looked at Ryo nervously, but Ryo smiled calmly.

" I asked the employees to leave because I knew you would be embarrassed."

Shiro wanted to tell him that he was embarrassed that they were completely alone in that environment, but his lips said nothing, amazed at the magnificent vision that he realized seconds after entering.

" How many people live here with you?"

He asked curiously, because the atmosphere was very large, practically a castle.

"Nobody," Ryo replied, simply. " Question why do you think the house is big? " laughed. " That's right, there are almost fifteen rooms."

" What are all the rooms for? " his face was dubious.

" Because an imposing house is a sign of power."

The answer seemed so elementary. It was as if the question had no purpose.

" How many houses do you have? "

" Many. I lost count."

Kazue noticed the huge difference between them, again. Ryo had everything, he, nothing. Even the clothes he now wore had been given by the merchant. Why in the world did some have so much and others nothing?

After that, they were silent. Ryo guided him to a huge library, looking very pleased to see the other's look of surprise and adoration. In the middle of the environment full of books, a table set with a teapot and a small orange cake, set the tone.

" Your house is so beautiful, Ryo-san! " Said, happily, sitting facing the other.

Ryo noticed that in all those years that he knew him, it was always Shiromiya who served him. At that moment, however, he reached for the ceramic teapot and poured it with the hot liquid. The pleasant smell of lemon balm invaded his nostrils and he promised himself to give a bonus to the maid who had done everything and quietly left the house, as soon as they both arrived.

"I like to be your friend, Ry-chan," Shiro said, suddenly moved.

" Really?"

The word "friend" suddenly didn't sound pleasant to his ears. However, it was an important advance, and he was happy about it.

" Yes."

" May I know the reason for the confession?"

Shiro smiled. Ryo's heart began to beat wildly in his chest at the sight.

" You are good to me."

The answer was genuine and sweet. There was nothing implied. It was just a delicate and affable statement like Shiro himself.

" I was never good for you, Shiro " Ryo looked embarrassed. " I always hurt you."

"You're the only friend I have," the other insisted. " Aiko-san is more like an older brother. Jiro is also my friend, but he only appears so few times at Ai ... Lately, I barely see him. But you are my adventure companion " he laughed.

" Adventures? Having tea in a library shouldn't be very stimulating " he joked.

" For me, it is " Shiro smiled. " Especially with so many stories around us " he looked at the books. " You must spend hours here."

Since he met him, Ryo spent hours thinking about him, not reading.

"Sometimes I stay longer than reasonable," he said, however.

" I imagining the people who created these works. Don't you think about that? How should they be? How much effort did they put in each line? Your emotions? Their spilled souls in letters? Ah, how I wish I could read ..."

Ryo seemed absorbed by the tone for a few seconds, then smiled.

" I think of them, the authors, as a bunch of antisocials, holed up in their rooms or offices, writing without being able to master their gift. People who drink too much, who sleep too little. Only that."

Shiro turned his eyes to his friend. He laughed softly again, and then took a sip of the soothing tea. When he turned back to Ryo, he seemed ready to talk.

" What's your name?"

The question made Ryo open his mouth, startled. He realized that Shiro called him Ryo-san or Ry-chan. Always the family name, never your personal name. And only then did he realize that it was because the other did not know it.

" What a shame! " Ryo laughed. " How long have we known each other? Two or three years? And you don't know my name?"

" I asked Nana once, but it turned out that we were interrupted and she never told me. And as we always have other things to say, I ended up letting go."

"Because I prefer you to call me Ry-chan," Ryo insisted. " Nobody calls me Satoshi at all."

Satoshi? Shiromiya's eyes widened. The wealthy trader realized that the name brought back memories, and from the sadness, he saw on his expression, they must not have been too pleasant.

" What's?"

"My brother," he murmured.

" Your brother?"

" Satoshi Shiromiya. "

While biting his lower lip holding a slanderous word, Ryo thought of his bad luck. Of all the names that existed in Japan, did the father have to give him the same name as the brother who sold the body of the one whom he desired?

"Saw? " he said, however, laughing. " I am sure that now you will no longer be embarrassed to call me Ry-chan. Better than Satoshi."

Shiro nodded.

"Sometimes I miss my brother," he said, surprising the other. " He was a good boy before Mom died."

Ryo had no siblings, not even any relatives for whom he could have affection. So that other person's dedicated feeling just made him uncomfortable.

" I'm lucky, Ry-chan, " Shiro said, after noticing his smile. " I found a friend Satoshi who will never hurt me as the old Satoshi did."

The poor boy did not know, but he would regret his words bitterly in the distant future.

***

" Say that the government is making shelters," Ryo said while going down the stairs that took them to the bomb shelter that was in the basement of the mansion. "However, I don't like to trust the government," he joked. " Let's say that, apart from Sakamoto, I have no one there for whom I would put my hand on the fire."

They approached a massive iron door. Ryo spun a round knob hard and opened it.

"The shelter is not under the house," he said. "The stairs lead to the yard. My biggest concern is that the house will fall over the door and not get out of it ..."

The way he spoke was as if he was sure that the huge building would fall. Shiro did not resist.

" Have you seen your house destroyed?"

Ryo confirmed.

" Everything will turn gray ... All of Tokyo, every street, every house ... When you walk on the streets, Shiro, looks with affection and longing at everything you see, because probably in a few days, months, or years, nothing else will exist. Or at least, it will not exist as it exists today."

The minor shivered. Then, the shelter door opened and he followed Ryo, who entered the room.

The site was lit by its generator, was about four square meters in size, and was clean and maintained. There was a stove and a bed, also a shelf with supplies. On the side, gallons of water. A back door led to a small bathroom.

" I replace the water twice a week, using the one that spills into the garden. I also observe the expiration date for canned goods, I don't want to have to spend weeks or months here eating rotten food. How are things organized in the shelter that Mamoru built?"

Shiro flushed.

"Are not," he admitted, embarrassed.

"So, you're going to do it today, promise me," he asked.

He nodded. Then he noticed the other man approaching him cautiously.

" I want you to know, Shiro, that I only think of Mamoru's fate when I ask these things because I intend you to be with me in one of my shelters when the war hits our country."

Kazue seemed absorbed in the gentle tone.

"Then you have to put one more bed here," he said, childishly.

" You will sleep with me."

Before he could even reason at Ryo's words, he felt the merchant's firm hand gripping his face. The manly mouth took him in a powerful, seductive kiss. Again, with the other time, he felt herself burning as if he desperately yearned to have him closer and closer.

Suddenly, he realized that the other was pulling him down towards the bed. He was startled and pushed him away.

" Are you afraid of me, Shiro? " Ryo asked, hurt. " Or don't you want to because it's me? If it were another, would you be less reticent?"

The boy felt his eyes moist.

" I like you very much, Ry-chan " he assumed, fearful. " But ..."

" But it was hurt, wasn't it? " Ryo tried to be understanding, despite not feeling the slightest advantage of being generous at the moment. He had been sexless for over a year. Irritated, tired of masturbating, thinking of a boy who barely looked at him directly. Ryo wanted to have sex with Shiro, use it until he was tired, and be able to forget once that he had slept with a man one day. "I won't hurt you, Shiro," he promised.

The other remained silent, thoughtful.

" Have you ever felt a pleasure? " Ryo questioned, suddenly realizing that the other probably only knew the bad side of sex.

" Pleasure?"

" Yeah ... Have you felt it? Why do you think people sleep with each other? It's because it's good " he smiled.

Shiro got up from the bed, walking away quickly. Ryo followed closely. He still tried to restrain him on the stairs, but his hands were pushed away by the other.

" Shiro ..."

" Is that what you want my friendship for? " the minor questioned. " I thought you liked me!"

" And I like. I like too much. And I know from the way you respond to my kisses that you also feel the same way."

As soon as they reached the room, Shiro came over to the other. He looked furious.

" If you have any hope that one day we will share the same bed, I regret to inform you that this will never happen. So, maybe, we should cut off our friendship now."

Ryo almost laughed, aware of all his visions in which he could kiss, bite, and lick the other's naked body without any hindrance.

"Okay, Shiro," he agreed, temporarily. " I didn't mean to offend you. Only..."

" Only?"

" I think I fell in love with you."

Lied. Yes, of course, he lied. After all, he was rich, powerful, and self-possessed. He always paid his lovers, he never gave his heart to anyone. And before him was just a kid with no crib, money, or honor. A nobody who had ever enjoyed the bed of many men, including his best friend and an a acquaintance. Ryo would never fall in love with someone like Shiro.

However, he regretted the words spoken when he noticed thick tears forming in the eyes of the other.

"You are very cruel," Shiro said, defeated. " Speak as if I don't know exactly what I am to you."

Without further ado, he left the house. He did not hear Ryo telling him that he would take him home, nor him apologize. Like a blind man, he ran through the streets of a Tokyo still calm and beautiful, longing to burn beside it when the bombs dropped.